I see there are still a lot of guys digging themselves into deep holes every time they're dumped by their girlfriend or rejected by someone they’ve been involved with. They want to know how to win them back, but don't have a clue how to do it.
Rather than write this as an instructional tip, I decided to share a number of true examples in which the advice speaks for itself.
Example #1
Earlier this year I met a girl in a 3 year LTR. She admitted she was attracted to me and started developing feelings for me. Things with her boyfriend were turning stale and in the end she decided to break up with him and pursue a relationship with me.
I felt flattered and rather ****y knowing I had just won this girl from her long term boyfriend. Things were going well, she didn’t want to talk to him and every time he called she brushed him off. Her friends praised me, she was proud to be with me and things were developing fast.
However, her ex-boyfriend suddenly changed his attitude and instead of getting jealous of me or upset over being dumped, he gave us his best wishes, told her there were no hard feelings and he moved on. He started hanging round with his friends more and stopped calling her. After two weeks of not hearing from him she started calling him to check if he was ok and see what he was upto, only to find he was fine and enjoying his free time. Soon she started pushing him to remain friends and asking him to meet up with her. He postponed, cut his calls with her short and even stood her up a few times. Yet she persisted more.
All this time I could see it was getting under her skin and that I was losing her affection. I could have been the perfect guy, but he had the upper hand and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. Every time he made an excuse not to meet her or ignored her call, she would get uptight and keep moaning about him. Sure enough she told me she wanted him back. She left me and started pursuing him all the time, but he continued backing off. She became obsessed and depressed, wouldn’t look at another guy and even burst out crying if he didn’t answer her calls. Next thing I hear, they’re back together under his terms. He had her in the palm of his hand, even cheated on her and she still stuck with him and remained loyal.
Example #2
During my AFC days, I was brushed off by a short term girlfriend. She told me she needed time to herself blah blah, but she wanted to stay friends. I took that to mean I could win her back, so I called her and text messaged her regularly, only to keep getting brushed off. I asked her to meet up and she refused or stood me up.
I then found David DeAngelo’s Double your Dating and started applying some things I learned. I tried being more ****y and arrogant with her, tried being a jerk, tried being more bold, started standing upto her and eventually it scared her away completely and she completely ignored and avoided me. She even told her friends I was acting weird and it was freaking her out.
Example #3
I had a few dates with a girl some months ago. We didn’t hit it off particularly well, but there was some physical attraction. After the 4th date she sent me a text message telling me she felt no chemistry and we should stop seeing each other. I replied by telling her “You’re right. No hard feelings”.
The following day she contacted me again asking if we could give it another try. I told her no, she was right there was no chemistry. She called me to have a go at me and insult me, then called me a few hours later to apologise. I told her it was no problem, but I was on my way out so I couldn’t stay and chat. She started sending me flirtatious text messages and emails, suggesting we get together for sex. I ignored them. Soon I started receiving anonymous calls and text messages (which I suspected and later proved was her). Almost a year later, she still sends me occasional emails asking if I want to meet up.
Example #4
A female friend of mine was in a relationship for 2 years with a typical AFC/“nice guy”. He’d buy her gifts, pay for her and do anything for her. She flirted with guys in front of him and he’d just sit there like a goof and say nothing. Then she finally accepted he was “too nice” and decided to break up with him.
At first he cried and took it really badly. He confessed his love for her and asked how he could change. Meanwhile she started fvcking another guy in secret. Every time this new guy was mean to her, she’d call her old boyfriend and he’d take her out and buy her gifts etc. Then she’d ignore him for weeks after.
Next time she tried to contact her ex- he finally acted like a man. He told her it was over, he wasn’t interested in being friends any more and she should stop calling him. She did the exact opposite and started calling him more. He started ignoring her and she started getting upset and moaning to her friends about how she regrets leaving him and she was stupid for letting him go.
Months have passed and she still tries to contact him. She recently found out he has a new girlfriend and since then she has been crying herself to sleep at night, looking through old photos and listening to their favourite songs. She has said she would take him back within a second, has begged him to give her another chance, but he has refused.
Example #5
I started getting interest from a very attractive girl and so I decided to ask her out. She seemed very keen and we arranged our date. The day came and she flaked out on me, sending me a last minute text message saying she was too busy. I never replied.
Next time I saw her I was polite, showed no hard feelings, but I spent the night talking to her friend. The flakey girl kept trying to get my attention, kept glancing at me all night and looked really uncomfortable. Eventually she left and I casually waved bye to her and continued talking to her friend.
Two days later, she called me (I missed the call), then emailed me a dramatic apology, telling me how she regretted not meeting me and wanted another chance. I waited two days then sent her a text message asking if she wanted to meet. She replied within 10 seconds and her friend told me she had been moping for days, checking her phone and her email to see if I would get back to her. We did go on our date, but I’m seeing someone else now so I didn’t pursue it further than that.
Conclusion
People place higher value what they can’t have or what they fear losing. When you are rejected or dumped, back off and you make their decision final. Don’t be taken for granted, don’t try to seduce them, NEVER try to explain or repair mistakes, don’t try to be friends, don’t change who you are or put on any acts, just cut them off and get on with your life. If they try to get in contact, be polite, but indifferent and don’t give them your time. Your time now is for other things and other people! Finally, if and when you do take them back, do so on your own terms and continue letting them know you can’t be taken for granted!
This is old advice and a golden rule, but hopefully the examples I’ve given have helped illustrate and emphasise this point.
Rather than write this as an instructional tip, I decided to share a number of true examples in which the advice speaks for itself.
Example #1
Earlier this year I met a girl in a 3 year LTR. She admitted she was attracted to me and started developing feelings for me. Things with her boyfriend were turning stale and in the end she decided to break up with him and pursue a relationship with me.
I felt flattered and rather ****y knowing I had just won this girl from her long term boyfriend. Things were going well, she didn’t want to talk to him and every time he called she brushed him off. Her friends praised me, she was proud to be with me and things were developing fast.
However, her ex-boyfriend suddenly changed his attitude and instead of getting jealous of me or upset over being dumped, he gave us his best wishes, told her there were no hard feelings and he moved on. He started hanging round with his friends more and stopped calling her. After two weeks of not hearing from him she started calling him to check if he was ok and see what he was upto, only to find he was fine and enjoying his free time. Soon she started pushing him to remain friends and asking him to meet up with her. He postponed, cut his calls with her short and even stood her up a few times. Yet she persisted more.
All this time I could see it was getting under her skin and that I was losing her affection. I could have been the perfect guy, but he had the upper hand and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. Every time he made an excuse not to meet her or ignored her call, she would get uptight and keep moaning about him. Sure enough she told me she wanted him back. She left me and started pursuing him all the time, but he continued backing off. She became obsessed and depressed, wouldn’t look at another guy and even burst out crying if he didn’t answer her calls. Next thing I hear, they’re back together under his terms. He had her in the palm of his hand, even cheated on her and she still stuck with him and remained loyal.
Example #2
During my AFC days, I was brushed off by a short term girlfriend. She told me she needed time to herself blah blah, but she wanted to stay friends. I took that to mean I could win her back, so I called her and text messaged her regularly, only to keep getting brushed off. I asked her to meet up and she refused or stood me up.
I then found David DeAngelo’s Double your Dating and started applying some things I learned. I tried being more ****y and arrogant with her, tried being a jerk, tried being more bold, started standing upto her and eventually it scared her away completely and she completely ignored and avoided me. She even told her friends I was acting weird and it was freaking her out.
Example #3
I had a few dates with a girl some months ago. We didn’t hit it off particularly well, but there was some physical attraction. After the 4th date she sent me a text message telling me she felt no chemistry and we should stop seeing each other. I replied by telling her “You’re right. No hard feelings”.
The following day she contacted me again asking if we could give it another try. I told her no, she was right there was no chemistry. She called me to have a go at me and insult me, then called me a few hours later to apologise. I told her it was no problem, but I was on my way out so I couldn’t stay and chat. She started sending me flirtatious text messages and emails, suggesting we get together for sex. I ignored them. Soon I started receiving anonymous calls and text messages (which I suspected and later proved was her). Almost a year later, she still sends me occasional emails asking if I want to meet up.
Example #4
A female friend of mine was in a relationship for 2 years with a typical AFC/“nice guy”. He’d buy her gifts, pay for her and do anything for her. She flirted with guys in front of him and he’d just sit there like a goof and say nothing. Then she finally accepted he was “too nice” and decided to break up with him.
At first he cried and took it really badly. He confessed his love for her and asked how he could change. Meanwhile she started fvcking another guy in secret. Every time this new guy was mean to her, she’d call her old boyfriend and he’d take her out and buy her gifts etc. Then she’d ignore him for weeks after.
Next time she tried to contact her ex- he finally acted like a man. He told her it was over, he wasn’t interested in being friends any more and she should stop calling him. She did the exact opposite and started calling him more. He started ignoring her and she started getting upset and moaning to her friends about how she regrets leaving him and she was stupid for letting him go.
Months have passed and she still tries to contact him. She recently found out he has a new girlfriend and since then she has been crying herself to sleep at night, looking through old photos and listening to their favourite songs. She has said she would take him back within a second, has begged him to give her another chance, but he has refused.
Example #5
I started getting interest from a very attractive girl and so I decided to ask her out. She seemed very keen and we arranged our date. The day came and she flaked out on me, sending me a last minute text message saying she was too busy. I never replied.
Next time I saw her I was polite, showed no hard feelings, but I spent the night talking to her friend. The flakey girl kept trying to get my attention, kept glancing at me all night and looked really uncomfortable. Eventually she left and I casually waved bye to her and continued talking to her friend.
Two days later, she called me (I missed the call), then emailed me a dramatic apology, telling me how she regretted not meeting me and wanted another chance. I waited two days then sent her a text message asking if she wanted to meet. She replied within 10 seconds and her friend told me she had been moping for days, checking her phone and her email to see if I would get back to her. We did go on our date, but I’m seeing someone else now so I didn’t pursue it further than that.
Conclusion
People place higher value what they can’t have or what they fear losing. When you are rejected or dumped, back off and you make their decision final. Don’t be taken for granted, don’t try to seduce them, NEVER try to explain or repair mistakes, don’t try to be friends, don’t change who you are or put on any acts, just cut them off and get on with your life. If they try to get in contact, be polite, but indifferent and don’t give them your time. Your time now is for other things and other people! Finally, if and when you do take them back, do so on your own terms and continue letting them know you can’t be taken for granted!
This is old advice and a golden rule, but hopefully the examples I’ve given have helped illustrate and emphasise this point.
