The Borderline Personality Thread

I honestly think that there needs to be one place for all of the information on Borderline Personality Disorder. I will do my best to put as much information in this thread about borderline personality from me and other posters.

Hello my fellow Don Juans. If you are not familiar with me, my name is cyjay201. I found this site about a year ago and it has drastically changed my life. I have been involved with many women, however I have only been in a long term relationship with one girl, who turned out to have Borderline Personality Disorder.

This site has a few posts on Girls with Borderline Personality Disorder. However most guys don’t realize it until they’re sucked in. My goal is to broaden and expand everyones knowledge on this tragic disease.

First here is some background information on Borderline Personality Disorder: (Compliments of Wyldfire)

http://www.bpdcentral.com/nookboard/index.php

http://www.bpdcentral.com/

http://www.bpdresourcecenter.org/

http://www.bpdresources.com/

http://www.mhsanctuary.com/borderline/

http://www.borderlinedisorders.com/

http://unthsc-dl.slis.ua.edu/patien...ty-disorder.htm

http://www.borderlinepersonalitytod...in/resindex.htm

http://www.aamft.org/families/Consu.../Borderline.asp

http://www.borderlineresearch.org/r...references.html

http://www.laurapaxton.com/

http://www.borderlinepersonality.ca...rnonhelpbpd.htm

Posted by Wyldfire 07-31-2005 04:14 PM

I will start off by several posts that I have found through a search, some made by Wyldfire and pimp-sicle who are experts with girls on Borderling Personality Disorders.

This is a post written in response to Kourt when asking what he ought to do with his g/f who he believes has borderline personality disorder. Below Wyldfire, Pimp-Sicle, and optimist prime list typical borderline personality behavior, and what to look out for.


I'm an expert on BPD. I was married for 10 years to someone who has it. Here's what you can expect:

Feeling like you are always walking on egg shells.

Frequent threats and some attempts at suicide.

Self-mutiliation...I bet she cuts herself, too, doesn't she?

One minute she'll love you and the next she'll hate you.

She will emotionally, verbally and possibly physically abuse you.

Lord forbid you have any children with her because she will treat them the same way.

Her moods will change more than you can keep track of.

She will alienate all of your family and friends to the point where they won't want to be around you because of her.

She won't be able to keep friends, so she will look to you as her only source of support...and you'll also be her main victim of abuse.

She is likely to develop alcohol and drug problems.

She will suck the very life right out of you.

People with BPD can't have healthy, normal relationships with people. They can improve with medication and something called dialectal therapy (sp?) IF they actually stay in treatment. Therapist find that people with BPD are the most difficult patients to deal with because of how toxic they tend to be.

If any of what I mentioned sounds familiar to you and you've already been experiencing any of it...it won't get better with time. My advice would be to end your relationship with her. A lot of people have psychological problems, and most can still have good relationships. BPD is a whole other monster entirely. Ending the relationship will be tricky, though. If that's what you do, you'll want her to end it otherwise she'll be bitter and angry with you until some other guy comes along and becomes her new victim. And no, she can't help it, but that doesn't mean that you should expose yourself to what this disease does to those close to the people who have it.

Posted by Wyldfire 07-29-2005 05:04 AM

-they cheat
-they lie A LOT
-they play of your guilt to make them feel better about themselves



Really read my PM I just sent you carefully and take the time to educate yourself on the disorder. BPD is a disorder of INTIMACY!! That means no matter what she says (I love you) and what she does (gives you great sex, buys you gifts) it is never EVER geninue. The cannot completely commit because they always feel on edge. You know that feeling you feel when your nervous before a big event (anxiety of sort), your nerves get you going and you feel on edge? Well that's how your gf feels 24/7. It is SUCH a complex disorder, don't try to reason or understand it, it doesn't and won't make sense.

Posted by Pimp-sicle 07-29-2005 05:19 AM


physically abused me

tried to commit suicide 4 times, one time in front of me by slitting her wrist wide open

stolen my car

made up strange and odd stories about being abused, being attacked out in a parking lot 50 feet from our apt. (she cut herself on her face to make it look like an attack) just to get me to pay more attention to her

Had a huge fear of being abandoned

claimed she was raped while we were together in a wal mart parking just to get my sympathy-she even went to the police

stole money from her dads business

Had rampages of hate and vile like I have never seen-you could have sworn she was possessed, followed up by extrme niceness

severe alcohol and painkiller addiction

had me thrown in jail at the end of our relationship when i finally left her because she claimed I beat her up-I never touched her. She cut herself then called the cops claiming I did it. I faced a weekend in jail, 6 months probation, and about $2,000 in costs.

So many other stories you wouldnt believe it, they occured pretty much daily. The list that wyldfire gave was right on, my ex had everyone one of those symptoms.

Optimist prime 07-29-2005 08:35 AM

After reading all of this information, I will know tell you my unfortunate story, and how this chick really messed me up.

I’ll start off from the very beginning, when we first met.

When I first came across this girl, she was literally undressing me with her eyes. These girls know how to manipulate men and get what they want. She smiled, laughed, it was almost too perfect, which it really was. We exchanged phone numbers.

Later we hooked up later that year, on the first three dates however she was very nervous and illusive. She was always looking around, when I asked her what was wrong she responded. “Those people that go to my school, they don’t like me. They know my ex-boyfriend, and if he finds out I’m out with you.” She basically told me that her ex-boyfriend was a liar. That he was so mean to her and that he was a jerk and that he kept calling her.

Sign NO: 1. She makes herself look like the victim.

She never has anything good to say about her ex/bf, and she constantly brings it up to get a reaction out of you. It’s always the ex-boyfriends fault. Never hers.

Sign # 2: Still leads guys on.

She says that he constantly called her because he still liked her. I later found out that he was still calling her because she had never broken it off with him, and was still leading him on. She also had been hooking up with him behind my back.

She always makes sure to let you know about how all the guys want her, and how they all try to kiss her. That’s what my ex always said, she said they always tried to kiss her. When in reality she actually had made out with them. So look for little signs like this, when she places the blame on other people.

Sign # 3: Messed up family life:

4 months into the relationship she informed me that her mother was an alcoholic, her father and her sister tried to kill themselves, and her brother was into drugs and drinking. She also later mentioned that she never got any attention from her parents, so she would seek it from other people. She said she wasn’t sure if she wanted kids because they would take attention away from her, she also mentioned that her mother probably cheated on her dad all the time. She said she was the only normal one. (yeah right).


Sign # 4 She always talks **** about her close friends.

The girl I dated always talked **** about her friends behind their back to me, which meant she did the same to me. She would tell me all the things I wanted to hear, about how all the other guys wanted her and how she didn’t like them. (When in reality was telling them the same things about me). She almost always is in a fight with at least one girl during every day of the year. She also will have more guy friends than girl friends, in fact my ex had a total of about 70 guy friends and 40 girl friends on her Instant Messenger.

Sign # 5 She will use your words against you.

When my girl was a ***** to me in front of her friends, I called her out on her ****. I told her she was extremely disrespectful and I wouldn’t be around anymore if she treated me like that. So what did she do? She told all of her friends she was scared of me, even though I barely raised my voice to her. She got all of her other guy friends to comfort her, and she started to not want to hang out with me because other guys were begging for her to get away from me.
Sign #6 So you break up. It’s over right?

A. Bull. I broke up with her that night, and I got hundreds of text messages that said “I miss you!” She will use this to keep you around. I told her I was done with her. Later we hooked up so that I could give her her prom pictures. Her and I made out, she apologized and said she would never hurt me again, and that I was the only guy she was seeing. So we got back together. Little did I know that she would cheat on me the next night with one of her “guy-friends”.

B. I told her she was a ****-tease, and that I didn’t want to see her anymore. She begged to see me for my birthday, just as friends. So I gave in. What you are about to read is a real birthday card from the girl I dated with Borderline Personality Disorder. You can see for yourself how manipulative they really can be:

Hey Birthday Boy!
Happy 19th Birthday. I hope you had a great day and that you enjoyed your birthday dinner! Thank you so much for always being there for me. You are my problem solver. You’ve taught me a lot about myself. I love spending time with you and I’m so glad we met (even if it was random….: -)) I’ll never forget turnabout or prom. Those were two very incredible evenings. Before you leave I’m going to beat you in bowling! No more losing! I will miss you very very much! Don’t forget about me. I will never forget you and all the wonderful times we shared. Thanks for being a loving boyfriend and caring friend. I’m always here if you need me! I love you! I miss you! Happy Birthday!

Love, Girl with Borderline Personality Disorder
XO

The letter written above was all bull****. She knew she didn’t mean a damn word of it, however she needed something to keep me around and it worked. Don’t listen to a damn thing they say. They know how to manipulate people in getting what they want.

Sign # 7 Can’t get to you? She’ll get to your friends

I blocked all contact from her. So what does she do, she ims my friends and spills her emotions to them. My best friend called me and told me to call her and try to make things better. Later she called me and tried *****ing me out. I hung up the phone. She sent me an email telling me she was terrified with me and we could only talk on the phone. She will do ANYTHING to keep you around. When you think she’s gone, she’s not. She’s just waiting to take another pass at you.

Lastly for closing thoughts, this experience has shaped me drastically. My standards are much higher than good looks now. Good looks is only 50% of the checklist, that is only the first step.

Don’t ever get angry with a Borderline Chick. They will only use your words against you. The best way to deal with them is to cut off all contact. Do whatever it takes, don’t pick up your phone, block her on all IM’s. Block her from seeing your personal websites like on the facebook. She will try to get to you every which way, including coming over to your house. Do everything possible to stay the hell away.

If your girl has any of the symptoms listed by me or any of the other posters, please get away as soon as possible. It will only get worse, don’t trust anything she says, because she is lying.

Just look for signs that I and the other posters have listed. I strongly encourage anyone else that has any experience with these chicks to post and add their thoughts and experiences.


Cyjay201

I wouldn't get involved or stay involved with someone who was like that.

I don't believe that you can't discover this about someone until after you're sucked in years later. I think this kind of stuff is there the whole time its just a matter of the guy not noticing. I, personally, have a screening process, I always solicit information subtly about any long term or serious diseases, family problems, and whether or not she has low self esteem (i.e. like cuts herself).

Originally posted by I'm Joe Dirt
I wouldn't get involved or stay involved with someone who was like that.

I don't believe that you can't discover this about someone until after you're sucked in years later. I think this kind of stuff is there the whole time its just a matter of the guy not noticing. I, personally, have a screening process, I always solicit information subtly about any long term or serious diseases, family problems, and whether or not she has low self esteem (i.e. like cuts herself).

Click to expand...

Oh, they can definitely suck you in and hide how ill they are. It's part of the illness. To people they aren't intimately close to they are able to act perfectly normal. You don't even really see just how sick they are until you're already pretty deeply involved.

It's true. Unfortuntaly had I would have known the signs, I would have run away. I knew she was a breed of her own, not an attention *****, not a sunshine girl, she has a disease. It's quite sad. That's why I want this thread to be available to anyone who needs it, so they don't get sucked in like I did.

Wow!

I think I've been dealing with one of these. I thought it was all my fault things never seemed to go right with her, as she always made me feel that it was, but after reading this...

Let's see:

-Told me she used to cut herself a lot.
-Gains weight whenever she gets rejected.
-Cheated on everybody she was ever with (except her "last" serious boyfriend, which is bullshlt anyway, as I know the guy she cheated on him with).
-Perpetually depressed over trivial matters.
-More male "friends" than female, and she sleeps with them.
-Always seemed incredibly intimitaded by me, so she'd get trashed and would randomly start making out with me, even if she was out with someone else.
-Used me as a stand in.
-Off the wall mood swings.
-Always cutting people down.
-Her only two girl friends were blatantly neurotic.
-Constantly apologizing for her *****y behaviour whenever I'd cut her off.
-Flirted with my friends.
-Would have spills and "accidents", in order to get guys attention.
-Drinks more than I do, and does a lot of drugs. If a guy can get her some pills or whatever, she'll fvck them, then insult them for being drug addicts themselves.
-The better mood that I was in, the harder she tried to bring me down to her level.

And she kept sucking me in, trying to make me feel like I was special to her. I had to cut her off twice before, because things just got too strange. Both times she sucked me back in after a couple of weeks, with the "I miss you"/"We should get together."/"I'm sorry" crap, only to diss me once again as soon as I relented.

I had to do it again this past weekend. I basically told her that I can't be arsed to deal with this bullshlt anymore. I'm sure I'll see a new SMS any day now telling me that she misses me again.

Its too bad that these women are usually very attractive and seductive - what a waste.

My friends always joke that we should go the for not-so hot one just because its most likely the hot one is nutts. Of course we all are suckers for good looks aren't we?

Wow....Best thing I've read in a long time. Classic Anti dump is all you need. The last grl I was meeting was saying how much I meant to her 1 min then cancelling dates the next, giving me all kinds of cr..ap about her family problems, slagging her friends off. All these games and stuff left me with freaky oneits because everytime i though shes not worth it fvck this, she did/said something which changed my mind. I've cut all contact now though and feel 10 times better.

Fair doos to her I'm going to use this in my seduction process now. Despite her being a psycho I am going to revaluate my game and go with some less attractive grls (hb6s), seduce them so when I go back to my higher standards (hb8s) I'll be certain I get them smitten.

Originally posted by flexion_
Its too bad that these women are usually very attractive and seductive - what a waste.

My friends always joke that we should go the for not-so hot one just because its most likely the hot one is nutts. Of course we all are suckers for good looks aren't we?

Click to expand...

Lately I've noticed the same ****. Funny how it works out doesn't it? I have to say I will think twice before asking a random girl out, this all started due to a cold approach.

Good thread idea, but I think the information needs to be put somewhere. This kind of information and shared experiences will go unused because this thread will eventually just die. It just needs to be referrenced somewhere more permanent.

good post, in my defense I'd like to point out she told me she was diagnosed with it when she was 13, but shes had 6 years to deal with it, and now shes good the vast majority of the time, it was just a rocky week, I still stand by my if she cheats on me I dump her rule though, thats one thing I cant compromise on, and I dont think she will, but if she does I'll be here again

wow...good on you for putting this kinda thing out in the open i guess, I wouldn't say "be warned" but be careful and considerate

Originally posted by penguin
Good thread idea, but I think the information needs to be put somewhere. This kind of information and shared experiences will go unused because this thread will eventually just die. It just needs to be referrenced somewhere more permanent.

Click to expand...

I agree with you. If I knew the information I know now about Borderline Personality Disorder, there is no way in hell I would have ever dated this girl.

Thanks cyjay for raising an awareness about all the risks and dangers of borderline personality disorder (BPD).

Anyway, let me ask you and the rest of the guys in here a simple question.

Have you ever wondered why you ended up hooking up with a girl with borderline personality disorder
in the first place?

The reason I'm asking you this question is because if you end up hooking up with girls who suffer from BPD over and over again, chances are that you're a BPD sufferer yourself.

By the way, I'm telling you all this based on my personal experience in the game that I eventually left because I discovered that I was suffering from BPD badly affecting my overall mental health.

My mother is BPD, god forbid they had children indeed. My story ends well with me telling her to fvck off then ignoring the sh!t out of her though. It's been over a year, she's still trying to suck me back into her life. For all I'm concerned she's already dead, there's no fvcking soul in that toxic woman.

I developed a sixth sense for people of that type, no matter how early and subtle I'll spot the bullsh!t from miles away. I wish it was just a girlfriend or a wife, but try sharing genes with a BPD and I swear you'll never ever shake them off.

I installed call and text blocker solely for the purpose of blocking her. Facebook, blocked to the max. If she does get through by borrowing someone else's phone and I happen to pick up I tell her to go fvck herself. I don't carry a shred of guilt for it, if she calls and bullsh!ts me she's asking for trouble and she knows it.