dating life

For you Older guys that are dating (30 and over) I have a question. Do you date as much as you did in the younger days? Is it easier or harder? haw much difference is there between dating in your 30s-40s compared to your 20s?

Im asking, if I do decide to stay single, will I be as happy single in my 30-40s as I am right now

Oh and plase don't turn this thread into another woman hating thread. thanx

Originally posted by spider_007

1.Do you date as much as you did in the younger days?
2.Is it easier or harder?
3.haw much difference is there between dating in your 30s-40s compared to your 20s?
4. Im asking, if I do decide to stay single, will I be as happy single in my 30-40s as I am right now

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1. No. There are not many decent women left in their 30s. And it is hardder to find women in general since you dont go to partie sthat much, dont hang out with people from school etc.

2. Harder, despite the fact that you are more valuable for women.

3. A lot. You are more isolated socially - less opportunities to naturally meet women. You have hard time dating 20 y.o. women - they seem incredible flakey and you seek somebody decent. More women are getting married in their 30s - the pool of women is much smaller.

4. It all depends on what kind of lifestyle you like. But in general it is unlikely.

When I was your age I had already been married for a few years and had a 'ready made' family (don't ask). I had 'game' back then but I was no DJ. It wasn't until I had learned what I had missed out on in my early years that I started on the path to becoming a DJ.

From what I have experienced, I've learned that one had to live life to its fullest. To experience what it has to offer and to determine who they really are and to find their purpose. I believe that once you have established that, you are in a place where you have the ability to live life on your terms.

If you choose to be a bachelor, you will be a happy bachelor. If you choose marriage, you will be (if you are true to your DJism) happy. At least that's how I feel in theory. I'm at least happy being a bachelor.

Originally posted by spider_007
For you Older guys that are dating (30 and over) I have a question. Do you date as much as you did in the younger days? Is it easier or harder? haw much difference is there between dating in your 30s-40s compared to your 20s?

Im asking, if I do decide to stay single, will I be as happy single in my 30-40s as I am right now

Oh and plase don't turn this thread into another woman hating thread. thanx

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Like everything else in your life, dating is what you make of it. If you don't approach women then no you won't date as much. To be honest, I find dating much much better than in my younger years, no comparison. You need to read the bible, improve your game and go out and do it. There are opportunities right under you'r nose every day, all you have to do is go for them.

Here's an example, I went for a coffee the other morning while my car was in the shop. The girl working at the shop was flirting with me right from the start, she then came outside where I was sitting for a break. By the end of her break I had chatted her up and gotten her number (she's only 23).

I would disregard Al77's negative post, go out and meet people. I wouldn't change where I'm at in my life for anything, read some of Slicksters posts, see how he's doing things.

Life's been good the last few years. I spent my early and mid twenties in relationships and busy with school. At 26 I was supposed to get married, but several months before the wedding she dumped me. Turns out it was a blessing in disguise. After a year and a half of recovering from that and rebuilding myself, I'm very happy with life. Established in my career, making fairly good money, own a house, and I have the free time to do whatever I want. Not bad, and I wouldn't mind staying like this for a few more years.

As far dating, look at it this way: Assuming most women date guys their age or older, when you're 20 you're limited to 18-20yo. When you're in your late 20's or 30's, you can still date women in their early or mid 20's. Some women prefer guys that are several years older anyway. One thing I've noticed is women around 23-25 are far more interested in me than women my own age.

Unfortunately, I didn't have much dating experience in my earlier 20's. I was socially akward and just drifted from one girlfriend to another, so can't really compare. It was only over the last few years when I started taking care of myself physically, dressing better, and throwing myself into social situations that I started getting more attention from women.

Exactly.

I was just thinking recently of it this way.

Would the Ricky of now pull more tail than the Ricky in his early 20's?

Yes, in my early 20's and in college more girls asked me out than I asked out! I was a scared AFC.

Now I go for it. This is why when guys worry about dating younger women, they don't realize that if they have progressed at all in life, they should be able to do better than they were before.

Yeah you are busier now, but hell I was busy then as I was in school for engineering.

So I do better now. Don't worry. Just eat right, work out and stay in shape and you should get better at this for many years!

I'm a late bloomer. It is embarrassing but refreshing to admit that my skills went uphill since the genesis of this site. My father died when I was young, I don't have any brothers to show me the ropes. I have older male cousins that are married but they are your quintessential AFCs.


I know I've missed a lot of years not having girls around me. I don't have stories to tell, not even high school stories and being in an all-boys HS didn't help either. I consider myself still in progress and I've made a lot of progress. Not taking rejections personally is one of them.

my dating life is zero. I had no dates since high school. I have some dates recently but they all end up horrible. Dating service got me 1 fat woman, the others are gold diggers, weirdos.

What is the world coming to nowadays? Are the women unstable, shallow?

My dating history is spotty. I have rarely dated casually and my relationships have all been long term, including one marriage. The time between relationships has been like a drought. So, since my last relationship, my game has turned completely to garbage.

Now that I'm in my mid/late 30's, I am acutely aware of the lack of available quality women. Every girl I run into already has a BF or a big rock on her finger. There are plenty of fuglies around, but they just don't do it for me. Does anyone really get into fuglies?

There are days that when I look around, all I see are happy couples. I think I'm the only person in my social circle or my place of employment who isn't involved with someone. So, I'm hard pressed to believe that there is much worth looking for out there, short of deliberately trying to break up a relationship just so I can pick up the pieces and keep the goods for myself.

So, yeah, it's pretty damn hard to find someone. Well, in my current state. My attempts at self-improvement have resulted in only minor success. I know what some of the problem is, and I need to do something about it.

I don't mean to sound embittered by the whole thing, but I want to give a no-holds-barred answer. I don't hate women, not at all. But in my current mindset, which I'm working on changing, people with two X chromosomes really seem have no romantic interest in me.

here is a comparison:

in college, you can meet someone anywhere. every night in the dining hall, a new face. if it doesn't work out, so what. there are parties. clubs. classes. many, many opportunities. women approach you, too. they are easy, and they aren't eager to have babies. i was an afc, and i didn't have problems

in real life, women don't approach, you have about 5-30 sec's to make your move in line, coffee shop, etc., zero context, little in common, and most of them are looking for daddy material

so today, i am a far smarter, richer, experienced guy than in college. i am the guy i wanted to be then. but, it's like wandering in the wilderness

to get an idea of how small the dating pool gets, i met a chick online few months ago, talked on the phone, didn't like her, that was that. next weekend i'm going on a backpacking trip, guess who the only woman there happens to be? by pure coincidence. and this is in a city of 1M+ on a trip with six people

otoh, how many married guys are happy? i think the whole culture is f'd up

Originally posted by iveyleeger

in real life, women don't approach, you have about 5-30 sec's to make your move in line, coffee shop, etc., zero context, little in common, and most of them are looking for daddy material

so today, i am a far smarter, richer, experienced guy than in college. i am the guy i wanted to be then. but, it's like wandering in the wilderness

to get an idea of how small the dating pool gets, i met a chick online few months ago, talked on the phone, didn't like her, that was that. next weekend i'm going on a backpacking trip, guess who the only woman there happens to be? by pure coincidence. and this is in a city of 1M+ on a trip with six people

otoh, how many married guys are happy? i think the whole culture is f'd up

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Thats true - college resembles a huge constant mixer... you dont have to do any significant efforts to meet women.
How about the quality of women? Probably one one even cared about the quality back then.

Now when all college folks got older, there is much less opportinuties to meet somebody naturally. Moreover even if you do meet a girl, she already has high standards or a bf.
So the huge difference is now we have to apply much more efforts to find dates we want (i.e. decent dates). But since you got more resources it seems... unnatural to spend time finding those dates.

The more resources you have, the more you feel that she should find and chase you...but in reality women don't do approaches.
The older you are the more effort you have to make in order to get a date.

I can relate when it comes to things getting harder as one gets older. I'm 32 and feel that my 20's was one big joke and no one even told/explained to me the punch line. There was a time in my teens and later where I had the occasional date or so but they never lead to any relationships -let alone sex.

I too would get the "Do you have a girlfriend... Why not?" BS and the whole matchmaking spiel. The fact of the matter is, like what most have said on this site over and over again, is that you gotta get out there and act... However, you have to know how to do it effectively to get the results. All in all, my attitude is f**k em, you can't make em want you, it's their loss. There's better things to do than wait for some b!tch to give you time of day.

Spider_007

I can honestly say no. I don't date as much as i did when I was younger. In college I had a huge selection of women to crack on. Now in the workplace, I dare not crack. If I do, I'll BE LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER! However, now it's easier. I nobody's fool. Either love or leave me alone. That's my motto.

Difficulty- I think it depends on where you are in your life. In your thirties living a big city or Metropolis like I do, three states, there's always someone to meet. But it's so clickish. In my 20's there was always to girl to meet and stroke. Drop a few dollars here and there. But I was still a small fish, with little appeal. I didn't have the ride I have. Or an apt. I was living at home. So my confidence could only go so high. Telling girls you lived at home with Moms was nerve racking. Sometime I didn't holla because I thought I was outta their league. In a way I was. Confidence breeds success. I didn't get my sucess until my late twenties.

Dating now, I am more willing to settle than when I was younger. I think it's because I don't have a hang up on who I date. as long as their attractive of course, to me that is. I've grown and matured over the years, so my perspective on dating has changed as well.

Will you still be happy ten years from now? It's impossible to say. Alot can happen. Alot. However, you may want children one day. You may not. If you do, you will be old when your kids of off to college. You may not see your grandkids. Is it worth it? Is this what you are willing to sacrifice? If so, go for it. But hang on, because things change when we least expect them.

Interesting thread.

MVP said:

Interesting thread.

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What? Nothing to add to it?:woo: