Anti-Dump's Machine (Part X: After the Dates)

Pook · Sep 7, 2004

After the First Date

But Anti-Dump, what guidelines does your machine operate after the first date?

Hi Pook,

You asked what are the guidelines after the first date.

You end the first date and all others for the first two months the same way.

You don't talk about the next date. You call for it. Just like when you ask for the number. You don't mention a date.

The reason you don't talk about the next date is because you DON'T NEED ONE.
You are not needy. Women really like a man that can live without sex. There is no such thing but in a woman's head there is.

You may need it bad. But when you leave her and don't mention a date, she thinks you are one COOL dude.

You say something like "I really enjoyed the rollerblading tonight. We'll talk soon."

Never say "I'll call you". They must feel you might not call. Predictable guys get washed out. If they are not worried you might not call they are not interested.
That's a fact.

You always wait two or three days to call for the next date. Never the next day. That's a guy that has no self control. Real men are busy. And don't have the time for 'silly romance'. Now I LOVE romance. But I keep it hidden until a woman has shown that she's going to stick around.

Only interested women get your romantic moves. When? After two months. Most new relationships end by eight weeks.

If she is still around after two months then you relax the rules a little. You can tell her you will call her, etc.

You can see a girl more than once a week after a month but make sure she is really interested and not using you just for dates.

Try to see a girl once a week for the first three weeks.

Suppose a girl calls you during the third week of dating and asks to see you for a date. That's okay because she can't be away from you. She wants you.

Just don't be too available in the first month.

It's all a test of interest.

You see Pook, YOU aren't supposed to be making it all work. SHE has to be doing that by saying 'YES' to dates.

SHE has to do all the work.

The shoe is on the other foot now. The WOMAN has to do everything right now, or there will be no relationship. You have taken control of your life. You are not at the mercy of women any longer.

Many women will flunk the test. Always remember, Pook, they flunk because they are not good enough for you.

This is how you protect your heart.

[Pook Note: No, I didn’t add the ‘Pook’ in the above. Anti-Dump was responding to me.]

But Anti, Dump, what do you say when the girl says the three words?

“I LOVE YOU!”

I would just say "That's wonderful" and then kiss her.

If asked how I felt, I would say "Keep going with me and find out". She will be mad but will be DYING to find out!

Never tell a woman how you feel under two months. Now matter even if she says how SHE feels.

Most new relationships break up in eight weeks. You must see if she will be around after the second month.

Remember, you may want to dump her before eight weeks. You can't say 'I love you'. Then break up with her when you discover something you don't want.

Wait and be sure.

After the Two-Month Mark

The girl needs to follow your date ideas for the first couple of months. After that, things change with Anti-Dump’s Machine. Here is something I thought he said was surprising:

Ask HER what she wants to do for the next date.

You are past the point where you are watching to see if she goes along with your ideas.

She passed the test. You know she is FLEXABLE. Now you can start being mutual. Don't worry, she will not change.

About once a month ask her if there is anything she wants to do.

Here's a secret. Whatever she wants to do no matter how much you hate it say YES.

If you get choosy she will not give you any more ideas. She will resent you and hold it inside. Not good. Women are not men. If you ask you are stuck with the choice. But she will love you for it! Make yourself like it and smile. This is a relationship. Not a one way street.

In the first month you have to be strict. You want to find the right girl. After two months you relax the rules a little.

Never Ask to Be Exclusive

Why would you do that? She is winning YOU, right?

Becoming exclusive with a woman means the both of you talk about not dating or seeing anyone else. The dating with others comes to an end.

Never ask a women to become exclusive. She must ask YOU. She must talk about it FIRST.

Why? If a woman hasn't asked you yet it means she is still open to seeing others. She still has DOUBTS about you. Highly interested women don't want you going out with other women.

A woman asking for exclusivity is like a 'marriage proposal'. She is cementing and laying the foundation for true intimacy.

She wants something that's lasting. It is the ULTIMATE test of interest, guys. She is 'proposing'.

If you ask first, you will never know her true interest level. Why didn't she bring it up? How come she is still letting you see others? Why isn't she CLOSING her options? Is she seeing someone else?

Think about it.

But Anti-Dump, what if the guy already just asked the exclusive question?

Did she say "I was wondering about that too?". Or "I'm glad you brought this up"?

I used to mention it first myself. One girl said that she wanted to know about that.

Did she act RELIEVED? Did she act like you defused a bomb?

A woman can like a guy a rather small amount and agree. Relationships are built on action, not words.

SHE HAS TO ASK, Matey. Then you know for sure. Good luck next time. Just keep it in the back of your mind.

Don Juan Pledge of Honor

Notice how Anti-Dump’s focus is NOT sex and NOT just ‘getting’ a girl. His FOCUS is getting an interested chick.

'The Don Juan Pledge of Honor'

Gentlemen, let us say it together:

Pook holds up his hand.

I am a Don Juan. I promise on my honor I will never call a girl in less than four days.

I assure my fellow Don Juans I will always faithfully ask for the number and will never walk away from a girl without it.

I will always be loyal to the Law of Interest. I will make sure she is really interested. She will give me a decisive 'yes' when I ask her out. I will accept NO LESS from her.

I promise with the greatest sincerity I will never go back with an EX. No matter how much she begs me.

I will accept full responsibility for getting myself in the 'Friend Zone' because I talked too much on the phone and waited seven months to ask her out.

I pledge to never reveal the true me for the first two months and give her only bits and pieces about my self. The Law of Mystery forbids it.

I am a Don Juan. I do not stay in bad relationships. I do not date women who give me a lot of trouble.

I am a Don Juan. That's why I am happy.

Gentlemen, this concludes this series of Anti-Dump’s Machine. There are many posts here and most are written by high schoolers or guys in college. Anti-Dump came from a divorced marriage.

Anti-Dump’s Machine is not to lead you to sex, not to lead you to ‘token girl’ so you can make your friends jealous by saying, “I have a girlfriend.” I have been on this forum for MANY years and Anti-Dump’s Machine is the ONLY one I know that leads to love.

But remember, Anti-Dump’s Machine is a WEEDING OUT process. The more fuel you give the machine, the more results you will get. THE MORE WOMEN YOU APPROACH AND DATE, THE MORE JEWELS THAT WILL BE FILTERED OUT.

Give your woman the gift of yourself, the gift of Don Juan. If she finds out you sampled no other women but her, she will be angry. She wants to be chosen out of many, she wants to be special. So instead of thinking, “How do I get a chick?” or “How do I get this chick?” think, “What do I need to do in my life so I can go through many many chicks?” No girlfriend for you until you go through many girls. After all, how can you know what you like about a girl if you haven’t been through several of them?

Anti-Dump’s Machine works. Now go out there and RULE THE CHICKS!

Pook · Sep 7, 2004

Addendum

I kept this last Anti-Dump Machine post so I could keep testing out the Machine and add some observations.

The hardest part of the machine is that you will lose many girls who would be willing to make out with you and get physical. But the catch is that these girls only wanted you for that purpose anyway. As one lady friend said to me, “If a girl doesn’t go out with a guy again just because he doesn’t kiss her at the first date, she isn’t worth going out with again.” The Machine is suited for those only looking to satisfy their love, not lust.

If you’ve noticed, Anti-Dump pushes sex far far back from his filtering process. From my own experience, there is good reason for this. The purpose of the Machine is to find a girl who likes you for you. The problem with sex is that it confuses the women, and she thinks that you two are really ‘bonding’ with sex when in fact you aren’t. You can easily get a woman into a relationship with you by going heavy on the eroticism, but does she really like you or not?

The Machine doesn’t work so well with younger girls, of ages 23 and down, because they’re interested purely in the eroticism and making you a trophy to show to their girlfriends (“Oh, you must meet ALL my girlfriends!”).

One thing I might disagree with Anti-Dump is the use of dinner for an early date. Anti-Dump says, “Do not have dinner. It is boring and you will tell too much information about yourself, destroying the mystery.” This is true. However, dinners with Pook are very interesting because all I talk about her is her. When she asks me something, I’ll say something and turn the conversation back on her. This tells me everything I need to know about her, her interests, her ideas on life. Anti-Dump would say, “Why do I need to hear about her life if I don’t like the way she acts?” Most women just let things happen to them and don’t have much of an idea of life. Besides, if you look on the front page of sosuave, you will find the women describing the perfect first date as dinner with the guy asking about them.

The Machine, I believe, has two patterns in it that must be embraced for it to be successful. The first is simple: filter out the women and find ones that likes you. Rather than trying to fit what ‘she’ wants, you find a girl that likes what you like. This topic has already been covered quite enough however.

The second, much more critical, is that the Machine will sort the wheat from the chaff, and deliver you quality girls. However, in order to have quality girls, you must put in quantity. You must kiss many frogs. How many? A lot. When you buy a car, do you get the first one you see? No, you shop around. If you buy real estate, do you go and look at only two or three? No, you look at A LOT. So when you’re looking for a wife or girlfriend, why do you get lazy and go for the nearest one?

100:10:3:1 This is a well rounded number. 100 means the number of girls you must approach and talk to. They all must be single (to your knowledge) and you must be physically interested in them. Yes, go through a hundred of them. It could be a quick conversation or could be you getting their numbers. The Machine works best with larger numbers. The 10 stands for the girls that will date you. The 3 stands for how many girls that you dated will be ‘buying’ you. And the 1 stands for the one you end up with. (The point of this is to keep it all in perspective. Approach MANY girls. People think two or three is many. That is why I put down some numbers.)

What it should be apparent is that getting a girl is a shopping process. Anti-Dump said, “You BUY a relationship, you do not BUILD one.” This will also pop the bubble of many guy’s concept of love. But remember, women think like this. They go shopping for guys all along. Why shouldn’t you?

You do not want to marry a toad. Therefore, you need to kiss many frogs to find the girl of your dreams. And she will be the girl of your dreams because she fits you. The odds can be lessened if you consider what are the most important qualities you’re looking for (say a particular religion) and you hunt for them there (at a church group).

One trend I see is many people getting hooking up with people at their jobs or someone in their classroom. This is sad. They are placing their relationship primarily by physical proximity rather than their internal selves and what both want. Women tend to do this the most and guys just react to them.

It is your world now. The shoe is now on the other foot. If she doesn’t treat you like a king, then you kick that princess out of Romance Kingdom. Girls always wonder who their husbands will be, who they will end up with. All the ladies are out there waiting for you to pick them.

Go get them, Don Juan.

dualman7 · Sep 7, 2004

are you anti-dump by any chance?

strong like bull · Sep 7, 2004

beautiful.

ive always enjoyed reading articles which push the realistic, natural and simple concepts of romance/dating. you dont need to be a NLP master, memorize 600 scripts, do your hair or dress a certain way to be successful with girls.

for, to be a MAN is success in life. this success will draw women to YOU. dont just PRETEND to be the prize by hiding behind a mask of C&F or false confidence. but evolve into a compelling, driven individual. BE the prize and they will come.

from there, just have fun. understand that women are an ADDITION to your life, not the SOURCE. find the one (or many!) which are pleasurable to have around.

again, beautiful work pook.

Duke · Sep 8, 2004

While my current aspirations lie more in the realm of eroticism, this, the final chapter of Anti-Dump's Machine, is a very fitting end.

It's ultimately about finding someone who you truly love and who loves you back. Somewhere, a few thousand miles back down the seduction road, I forgot that love exists. My skin thickened into an armodillo shell (to protect my heart of course), and I simply forgot how to love girls.

I still hope that I can rediscover my ability to love, because I'm afraid that if I don't, I'll lose touch of life and the big picture. Right now, I can't see love and affection. I'm caught in a whirlwind of legs, curves, and cleavage.

Do girls truly want to be loved? Do they need to FEEL loved in order to give up their bodies? Are we ultimately (most of us) seducing them into believing that we love them in order to fukk them?

Lifeforce · Sep 8, 2004

One of the persons I admired most at this site was anti-dump and his machine you so skillfully have reposted, protecting your heart. Thank you for your dedication, without your effort AD's old stuff would have drifted away into obliviance. I really mean it, thank you ! ! !

The old forum is gone and so much of AD's old stuff too, if anyone have any of his posts left I would be very grateful if you sent them. Much have happened since I came here and rereading them will give me some pointers to where I should go from now.

LIFEFORCE

comic_relief · Sep 8, 2004

Bible time

Crazykid another one to add to the bible

Pook I to would like to see if you have any of the really old AD posts? i loved AD's work which you did put together really well. But did you keep the old boards posts of his. I am wondering if you managed to save them. If you do post those posts on sosuave again

Very nice post. I humbly thank you for this post.

Zero0ne · Sep 8, 2004

Originally posted by Duke
Do girls truly want to be loved? Do they need to FEEL loved in order to give up their bodies? Are we ultimately (most of us) seducing them into believing that we love them in order to fukk them?

link

Maximus_Decimus · Sep 8, 2004

There are many posts here and most are written by high schoolers or guys in college. Anti-Dump came from a divorced marriage.

Exactly. Pook, you should really stick around SoSuave. I notice you've been quite inactive lately. Guys like you, AD, and Sir_Chancealot have virtually abandoned the forum.

Where there was once ample discussion on this forum on the inner depths and workings of women, it's becoming increasingly difficult to find groundbreaking ideas, thoughts, and material these days.

Maximus_Decimus

Pook · Sep 12, 2004

I'm getting some PMs on this post. Most of which has to do with the numbers I threw out. "I just go out and get any girl!" they tell me. I think they're missing the point (because I didn't communicate it fully).

Remember how little girls are told, "You must kiss many frogs to find a prince." Since Anti-Dump's machine is reversing everything and putting the shoe on the other foot, that tale applies better to males now.

Many guys get into a relationship or get married with the first girls they get. It's sad but amazing. He doesn't test out the frog and so marries the frog. He thinks the frog will turn into his princess but nope! Frogs remain frogs!

Again, the point of the 'machine' is NOT to get a girl. It is to get a girl who likes what you like. "I can do that already." I mean like, not tolerate.

Let us say that one day you want to get married. You can't just get any girl, even if all the girls like you.

It was Anti-Dump who taught me to say, "What do I want in a girl?" (rather than ask 'what does SHE want?'). The entire idea is to create the girl in your mind and then create her in reality.

Let us say you want a skinny girl with blonde hair, blue eyes, who likes... say... basketball and adventuring. You start filtering. You ask out girls who have blonde hair and blue eyes. For dates, you go adventuring and even basketball. If she sticks around, GREAT. If not, go find someone else. The 'machine' is not to weed out girls who will tolerate you, it is to get the girl you have in your mind and put her in reality.

"But Pook! I want a model! And I want her to be SMART! Are you saying that Anti-Dump's Machine will deliver?"

Yes. Some people may wince when they hear a guy say he wants a 'model' or some other high quality trait. AIM HIGH! Those girls are out there. If you don't think it is possible, it will never be possible. The point is to get what YOU want. SHE has to do all the work or she gets kicked out of romance kingdom. It's your world now.

Sounds cool? Get used to it, Don Juan.

Lifeforce

No, I don't have any more of Anti-Dump's posts. But even if I did, I don't think it would do you much good. Anti-Dump wasn't an article writer, he responded to people in the Discussion Forum.

I want you guys to imagine something. Imagine this forum, four years ago. Many discussions talked about "cool hair styles" or what to say to "get the women". Then comes, out of the blue, this guy named Anti-Dump whose posting style seemed like a sledgehammer to us chumps.

Anti-Dump would say, "If she doesn't like my date idea, I DROP her!" And the forum went, "What! That is SOOO MEAN AND CRUEL!" Many people thought Anti-Dump was RADICAL and argued profusely with him. But as you can see, Anti-Dump certainly wasn't interested in using women. After coming from a divorce, he simply wanted a woman (he wanted) to love him for him. Trying to soak in what Anti-Dump was saying emerged the post Kill That Desperation! which was the idea that I was the prize, not her. Anti-Dump merely had a different CONTEXT from us since he was older, came from a divorce, and knew that getting the girl was not the focus.

Anti-Dump's real name was John. He drove a pick-up and his favorite date was taking the girl jetskying.

Anti-Dump did not even own a computer. He used what was called "Web TV". He would type in his posts on the living room floor. Unlike many people today, he never thought himself as making 'posts'. He talked to everyone as if they were a person. There was no DJ Bible back then. "Posts" were not seen then, it was only "people".

Individual posts survive much better than conversations. I get annoyed when a seducer reads an Anti-Dump post and ejaculates, "What! Wait four days to call!? Oh, bah ha ha! This guy knows NOTHING about women!"

Waiting three days to call is not what Anti-Dump is saying. He is replying to a full fledged Nice Guy who wants immediate change in his love life. That suggestion helps him because back then, the forum was not about posts but about people. Just looking at one reply Anti-Dump gave misses the entire context. And the context is the MACHINE like filtering out process. Of course, it is not as dull as a machine. The machine analogy is used to make it simple and even automatic.

"It is like a machine to your dream girl," Anti-Dump said. "You push a button and out she comes!"

Oxide · Sep 12, 2004

Seriously guys, if you havent figured out what the purpose of this machine is by now... you might as well ignore it untill you are mature enough to understand it. I am not trying to be ****y here, but there is a point when this stuff clicks in your brain, some people take longer than others..unfortunatly some take their whole life time..

Hah...you know, when you are in college, this machine definately doesnt seem like a game plan to lay chicks..but it is a master plan once you are ready to INVEST time into dating the woman who is perfect for you.

major props on typing all this out pook, but i know you are not using the machine seriously yet either.

GirlCrazy · Sep 12, 2004

What happened to anti-dump? Did he pass away or just stop posting?

Everyone talks about him in the past tense.

Thank you Pook, for sharing his material!

Lifeforce · Sep 12, 2004

Pook:

It was a shot out of the blue. I remember reading ADs stuff and thinking he was a moron. At the same time I was hooked on SS and now I am starting to realize ADs point. But it doesn't matter, I'll find my own way to go anyway. Cheers.

GC:

AD got flamed away pretty hard? The username Vassago rings in my head. I remember many thought he was doc love.

Zonder · Sep 20, 2004

Originally posted by Oxide
major props on typing all this out pook, but i know you are not using the machine seriously yet either.

Major props on typing all this out oxide, but I know Anti-Dump wasn't always using the machine seriously either

The Machine is meant to find you a serious relationship with the girl of your dreams, not for that oh-so-delicious French chick you met on your trip to Europe, for example

Eternal · Sep 21, 2004

Originally posted by Lifeforce
Pook:

It was a shot out of the blue. I remember reading ADs stuff and thinking he was a moron. At the same time I was hooked on SS and now I am starting to realize ADs point. But it doesn't matter, I'll find my own way to go anyway. Cheers.

GC:

AD got flamed away pretty hard? The username Vassago rings in my head. I remember many thought he was doc love.

I believe Vassago is Elimidate.

Ralfus was thought to be David De'Angelo. That turned out to be someone Ralfus knew.

undesputable · Jun 2, 2005

wow i just finished reading the series and i have to say it was some of the best ive ever read that has to do with love and that sort of thing. I am not looking to get married anytime soon or in a hurry to find a true love, but i think the sooner you start the weeding out process the better off youll be when youre ready to marry.

Dante420 · Nov 15, 2009

I think the first part is great when you got a girl chasing you, and even when she's not really chasing but I think some situations call for you telling her you wanna make new plans 2/3rds of the way through the date

Tiguere · Mar 31, 2011

bump for newbs.

TinaTwilight · Oct 9, 2013

Well The principal error of the development workers was to view cattle rearing as farming, rather than a retirement investment.

idoloveromance · Nov 17, 2013

undesputable said:
wow i just finished reading the series and i have to say it was some of the best ive ever read that has to do with love and that sort of thing. I am not looking to get married anytime soon or in a hurry to find a true love, but i think the sooner you start the weeding out process the better off youll be when youre ready to marry.

I totally agree with this guy here.

Anti-Dump's Machine (Part X: After the Dates)

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Don Juan

Senior Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Don Juan

Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Too Many Women?

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

Master Don Juan

New Member

Don Juan

Peace and Quiet