DISCLAIMER: to all pook-haters and those who will inevitably scoff at this post and continue ridiculing pook until he moves on permanently, go f*ck yourselves. I wrote this intending to send it to pook personally but then thought that maybe it could help someone else that’s been in similar situations. I know to some it’s going to be seen as ass-kissing but then I don’t give a f*ck – this is about respect. This is a thank you post, my first and last, and I’ve made a promise to myself never to respond to this thread once sent.
Ok, first of all pook this is meant directly for you. I just read a post by a guy talking about a paradigm shift of thought thanks to this site, and it’s so close to what happened to me I decided to share this with you. I could easily make this into an autobiography but will try to keep it as short and sweet as possible. Two and a half years ago I was the textbook definition of an AFC. My entire life was spent trying to please others, never embracing what it is to be a man. Tragically I think this is very common these days because how many young men have influences in their lives teaching and guiding them into manhood? Very few. My success with women was very limited, and I was extremely introverted to the point that I had a reputation for being a shut-in or ‘hermit’ as I was ridiculed. I was a complete p*ssy.
To make a long story short, I had been burned badly by three different women over my life and the last one hit the hardest. They were not long or sexual relationships at all – I was just strung along, used, and then discarded before I got anywhere or knew what hit me in each relationship. It was compounded by the fact that I was a 3-time highschool dropout, had no passion in life for anything, and a body that I absolutely hated since my early teens. I literally had zero social life (never ever went out) and was a 21 year-old boy living with his parents who had written me off as the ‘loser of the family’.
The only positive thing in my life was that I had a job at a restaurant – it gave me a reason to get up in the morning. But pretty soon even that wasn’t enough. I can’t remember the exact date but one day at work, I had an epiphany. I saw myself five, ten years from that moment and suddenly a deep sense of terror and sadness came over me. It dawned on me that nothing would change in my life until I f*ckin changed. But at the time I saw no hope at all for the future. I became so depressed, I was suicidal.
For months and months all I thought about was ending my life. What was the best way to kill myself? I decided on hanging or shotgun to the head. To give you an idea of how serious it was, I slept in an undeveloped basement where only I went, and acquired a special type of rope that would hold my weight and fixed it to a beam. I also had the shotgun shells literally a foot beside my bed ready to go with the 12-gauge neatly beside them. The only thing stopping me was the fear of actually doing it.
One day in early 2002 I decided I had enough. It was the middle of the night and my old man's winchester was ready to go. I decided to write a suicide note to maybe give my parents some comfort or to say f*ck the world, I hadn’t decided. Thinking back on this it really made logical sense to me at the time, not crazy or selfish at all. I think people that have not been to the brink of taking their own life can’t understand this. You really get to the point of numbness, not feeling pain or pleasure, and truly believe you’re doing everyone a favor by checking out.
Anyway, so I sat down to write it all out and then – nothing. Couldn’t think of a damn word to say. Then I remembered kurt cobain of nirvana, one of my favorite bands, and remembered the note he left behind when he offed himelf back in ’95. So I decided to get some ideas from that and look it up on the net one last time. I had no idea my life was about to change forever.
What happened next - to this day - I can’t recall in detail. I’ve tried many times but simply cannot remember. All I know is that somehow when I was searching for cobain’s note online, for some f*cked up reason I ended up on a site called sosuave.com at a post called the secret of the jerk. This may sound f*cked up and even like bullsh*t but I don’t care – believe me or don’t. For the next 3 hours I read and read and read. I believe in God and was raised a Christian but I’m not a religious or even church going man. And I don’t know if this was divine intervention or just a f*ckin fluke – all I know is that it stopped me literally minutes from blowing my head apart with buckshot.
For the first time I began to understand the role of nature in life. And it was like I was being revealed the truth that was so obvious to me before but never had acknowledged in my entire life. As corny as it sounds i sat back and simply devoured the revelations, insights, and inspiration! Although others had good points here and there to keep discussions going, you were the main catalyst for my transformation. I actually looked at it like a metamorphosis. Like the caterpillar becoming the butterfly.
I won’t get too much into specifics, but the main ideas that changed my life were:
1 – Embrace your testosterone
2 – Embrace your sexuality
3 – You are the prize
Ok, first of all pook this is meant directly for you. I just read a post by a guy talking about a paradigm shift of thought thanks to this site, and it’s so close to what happened to me I decided to share this with you. I could easily make this into an autobiography but will try to keep it as short and sweet as possible. Two and a half years ago I was the textbook definition of an AFC. My entire life was spent trying to please others, never embracing what it is to be a man. Tragically I think this is very common these days because how many young men have influences in their lives teaching and guiding them into manhood? Very few. My success with women was very limited, and I was extremely introverted to the point that I had a reputation for being a shut-in or ‘hermit’ as I was ridiculed. I was a complete p*ssy.
To make a long story short, I had been burned badly by three different women over my life and the last one hit the hardest. They were not long or sexual relationships at all – I was just strung along, used, and then discarded before I got anywhere or knew what hit me in each relationship. It was compounded by the fact that I was a 3-time highschool dropout, had no passion in life for anything, and a body that I absolutely hated since my early teens. I literally had zero social life (never ever went out) and was a 21 year-old boy living with his parents who had written me off as the ‘loser of the family’.
The only positive thing in my life was that I had a job at a restaurant – it gave me a reason to get up in the morning. But pretty soon even that wasn’t enough. I can’t remember the exact date but one day at work, I had an epiphany. I saw myself five, ten years from that moment and suddenly a deep sense of terror and sadness came over me. It dawned on me that nothing would change in my life until I f*ckin changed. But at the time I saw no hope at all for the future. I became so depressed, I was suicidal.
For months and months all I thought about was ending my life. What was the best way to kill myself? I decided on hanging or shotgun to the head. To give you an idea of how serious it was, I slept in an undeveloped basement where only I went, and acquired a special type of rope that would hold my weight and fixed it to a beam. I also had the shotgun shells literally a foot beside my bed ready to go with the 12-gauge neatly beside them. The only thing stopping me was the fear of actually doing it.
One day in early 2002 I decided I had enough. It was the middle of the night and my old man's winchester was ready to go. I decided to write a suicide note to maybe give my parents some comfort or to say f*ck the world, I hadn’t decided. Thinking back on this it really made logical sense to me at the time, not crazy or selfish at all. I think people that have not been to the brink of taking their own life can’t understand this. You really get to the point of numbness, not feeling pain or pleasure, and truly believe you’re doing everyone a favor by checking out.
Anyway, so I sat down to write it all out and then – nothing. Couldn’t think of a damn word to say. Then I remembered kurt cobain of nirvana, one of my favorite bands, and remembered the note he left behind when he offed himelf back in ’95. So I decided to get some ideas from that and look it up on the net one last time. I had no idea my life was about to change forever.
What happened next - to this day - I can’t recall in detail. I’ve tried many times but simply cannot remember. All I know is that somehow when I was searching for cobain’s note online, for some f*cked up reason I ended up on a site called sosuave.com at a post called the secret of the jerk. This may sound f*cked up and even like bullsh*t but I don’t care – believe me or don’t. For the next 3 hours I read and read and read. I believe in God and was raised a Christian but I’m not a religious or even church going man. And I don’t know if this was divine intervention or just a f*ckin fluke – all I know is that it stopped me literally minutes from blowing my head apart with buckshot.
For the first time I began to understand the role of nature in life. And it was like I was being revealed the truth that was so obvious to me before but never had acknowledged in my entire life. As corny as it sounds i sat back and simply devoured the revelations, insights, and inspiration! Although others had good points here and there to keep discussions going, you were the main catalyst for my transformation. I actually looked at it like a metamorphosis. Like the caterpillar becoming the butterfly.
I won’t get too much into specifics, but the main ideas that changed my life were:
1 – Embrace your testosterone
2 – Embrace your sexuality
3 – You are the prize
just joking
