Call it what you want. Your repertoire, skillset, toolbox or routine. But we all have our tried and true methods when we like to use when approaching and dating women. I am not saying that one should have a step by step guide of how to date, but its better to know what you are doing than fumbling around like a goon. Well around here depending on what the current mood is and what appears to be working we parade out a particular tactic that becomes the flavor of the month. There is nothing wrong with championing a good idea, but sometimes we forget how important other aspects of picking up and dating women can be. Even worse when we finally dust off those old forgotten moves sometimes we forget the basic principles behind them. Finally when we go to use them, or for that matter misuse them, things tend to backfire and head south.
The idea of KINO has been one of those dusty old ideas that gets forgotten. Also from a lot of postings I've seen when it does get dusted off has lead to some problems due to misuse. Even still some people here still don't know what KINO is, these usually being the AFCs that come here.
It is true that KINO is a forgotten and misused DJ tool. Its lack of use and advocates has left a potentially valuable DJ skill collecting dust in some forgotten place. So I intend to advocate KINO and give you a much needed revision of the tool.
The simplest way to define KINO is the use of touch to heighten a woman's interest in you. Though certainly there is no one way to carry out KINO, and in fact if not done corretly can be seen as at best inapproriate to at worst lewd and obscene. Forget all that B.S. about women being auditory and men being visually stimulated. Men and women use all there senses to percieve there surroundings and they certainly don't turn all but one sense of when they are out on a date. So don't knock the sense of touch, which KINO is based on. Sometimes all it takes is touch to make a few sparks or for that matter lighting strike if you're lucky.
The 5 classic KINO no-no's.
1. The touching is gross guy: These guys are totally uncomfortable with touching. They are so afraid of touching someone because maybe they think its gross or breaking some forbidden boundary. For whatever reason when they do try to initate KINO its awkward. He knows it, she knows it and cools things down between them like a dive into artic waters.
2. The no touch guy: This is the guy who believes in certain dating "RULES" which can never be violated. One is that a guy should not touch a girl until after 5 or 6 dates. The problem is some women find it odd if a guy doesn't at least show some interest in her by using touch. This can cause a loss in interest because she believes the guy is not really interested.
3. The 5 minute toucher: This guy will touch a girl and hold it there for what seems like forever. Its not subtle, awkward and makes the guy seem pervy.
4. The grabber: His hands will go where they should not and his strong grip reminds her of a kidknapper. Also its rough and uncomfortable.
5. The sleazy toucher: He touches below the boarder and his chances with her go south likewise. Girls don't like lewd guys that move way to quick, its not very smooth and unbecoming of a DJ.
KINO Theory Revised.
Alright so we have our five big no-no's for KINO use. But the question remains: What is the correct way to use KINO? Well KINO is meant as a support, not some stand alone tool. Nor can full out KINO can be applied right away. KINO like the aging of wine is time sensitive. Try something to really and it just won't go down well.
First off don't use kino when you are cold approaching a girl, especially if her back is turned to you. It will startle her and is way to familiar to be used on someone you are approaching for the first time. After you do introduce yourself and made her feel comfortable the use of KINO is okay. To make the explination of how KINO should work I'll break it down into stages.
KINO Stages.
1. The first date KINO: Touching should be subtle, appropriate and brief. The idea is to show interest but not to feel her up like a blind man looking for brail. Resist touching the areas of obvious interest. Touching the shoulders, arms, small of the back at this point is acceptable.
2. Playful KINO: You two have been seeing each other for awhile and you both playful touch each other just to signal interest. This is brief touching on the thigh or playing footsy, holding hands and a light squeeze of the shoulder.
3. Intimate KINO: You two have spent sometime together and say you're chilling out on the couch at your place and you move beyond being playful. At this point a little rubbing begins to take place and some heavy petting can happen. By this point she should expect you to pay attention to her and touch her in certain ways if you have done things right. She should also want to touch you back to show her interest and make things more familiar between the both of you.
KINO that you didn't think about or took for granted.
Massaging: Definately serious KINO potential here. This will tell her a lot about you, all through your touch. Rub her the wrong way and it can hurt you. Give a good massage and her IL will certainly jump.
Dancing: Slow dancing in particular, holding her close and wrapping your arms around her can be nice for both of you. Plus moving in rythm is a bonus that helps out too.
The Gentlemen: Holding the door open for her and guiding her inside with a light touch at the small of the back is a nice touch that she will appreciate.
Grey Fox's favorite KINO:
Kissing KINO: When I go in for a kiss I like to run my hand through her hair and touch her cheek as a I kiss her. I usually get a smile for that one.
Holding Hands: Old fashioned yes, but nice when you two are walking together. Also having taken a few trips over to Europe I am also a big fan of walking arm in arm and just carrying on a nice little conversation. This is nice for when you two are just starting to get comfortable with each other.
Slip Hug: When you hug for the first time this is great. You start out hugging and as you break from the hug you can lightly run your arms down hers and find her hands and hold them. It can really up the IL and can lead to a kiss.
KINO is best used when you are talking and want accent something by the use of touch. Or a way to gain attention without having to say much at all. It signals that you're having a good time while you both are playing it cool, and if she is playing it cool this is the best way for her to communicate back she is having a good time without blowing her playing it cool. Think of Kino as a tool of translation when you two are saying something that may seem vague or needs a little direction. Since most women think guys are dense in the sexual department, they will use touch as a subtle way to clear up any verbal subtles.
Example: Your hugging at the end of a date.
Her: "You're such a cool friend to hang with." (She breaks the hug early.)
Same situation now.
Her: "You're such a cool friend to hang with." (She rubs your back, squeezes you a little tighter than she needs to, rubs your butt or thigh briefly.(Yes that does happen
)
Sure the language sounds like you are not doing so hot. But actions speak louder than words. The breaking of a hug real early like she is trying to escape a death trap is a definate deal breaker.(DUH) But in the second part of the example where she touches you like I mentioned is a signal that she may be playing it cool but is more interested than she is letting on. The importance of KINO cannot be denied, it is the action the speaks volumes what our words don't not or refuse to say. It can betray a persons true feelings and is one of many good ways to gauge her interest level in you.
-Grey Fox
The idea of KINO has been one of those dusty old ideas that gets forgotten. Also from a lot of postings I've seen when it does get dusted off has lead to some problems due to misuse. Even still some people here still don't know what KINO is, these usually being the AFCs that come here.
It is true that KINO is a forgotten and misused DJ tool. Its lack of use and advocates has left a potentially valuable DJ skill collecting dust in some forgotten place. So I intend to advocate KINO and give you a much needed revision of the tool.
The simplest way to define KINO is the use of touch to heighten a woman's interest in you. Though certainly there is no one way to carry out KINO, and in fact if not done corretly can be seen as at best inapproriate to at worst lewd and obscene. Forget all that B.S. about women being auditory and men being visually stimulated. Men and women use all there senses to percieve there surroundings and they certainly don't turn all but one sense of when they are out on a date. So don't knock the sense of touch, which KINO is based on. Sometimes all it takes is touch to make a few sparks or for that matter lighting strike if you're lucky.
The 5 classic KINO no-no's.
1. The touching is gross guy: These guys are totally uncomfortable with touching. They are so afraid of touching someone because maybe they think its gross or breaking some forbidden boundary. For whatever reason when they do try to initate KINO its awkward. He knows it, she knows it and cools things down between them like a dive into artic waters.
2. The no touch guy: This is the guy who believes in certain dating "RULES" which can never be violated. One is that a guy should not touch a girl until after 5 or 6 dates. The problem is some women find it odd if a guy doesn't at least show some interest in her by using touch. This can cause a loss in interest because she believes the guy is not really interested.
3. The 5 minute toucher: This guy will touch a girl and hold it there for what seems like forever. Its not subtle, awkward and makes the guy seem pervy.
4. The grabber: His hands will go where they should not and his strong grip reminds her of a kidknapper. Also its rough and uncomfortable.
5. The sleazy toucher: He touches below the boarder and his chances with her go south likewise. Girls don't like lewd guys that move way to quick, its not very smooth and unbecoming of a DJ.
KINO Theory Revised.
Alright so we have our five big no-no's for KINO use. But the question remains: What is the correct way to use KINO? Well KINO is meant as a support, not some stand alone tool. Nor can full out KINO can be applied right away. KINO like the aging of wine is time sensitive. Try something to really and it just won't go down well.
First off don't use kino when you are cold approaching a girl, especially if her back is turned to you. It will startle her and is way to familiar to be used on someone you are approaching for the first time. After you do introduce yourself and made her feel comfortable the use of KINO is okay. To make the explination of how KINO should work I'll break it down into stages.
KINO Stages.
1. The first date KINO: Touching should be subtle, appropriate and brief. The idea is to show interest but not to feel her up like a blind man looking for brail. Resist touching the areas of obvious interest. Touching the shoulders, arms, small of the back at this point is acceptable.
2. Playful KINO: You two have been seeing each other for awhile and you both playful touch each other just to signal interest. This is brief touching on the thigh or playing footsy, holding hands and a light squeeze of the shoulder.
3. Intimate KINO: You two have spent sometime together and say you're chilling out on the couch at your place and you move beyond being playful. At this point a little rubbing begins to take place and some heavy petting can happen. By this point she should expect you to pay attention to her and touch her in certain ways if you have done things right. She should also want to touch you back to show her interest and make things more familiar between the both of you.
KINO that you didn't think about or took for granted.
Massaging: Definately serious KINO potential here. This will tell her a lot about you, all through your touch. Rub her the wrong way and it can hurt you. Give a good massage and her IL will certainly jump.
Dancing: Slow dancing in particular, holding her close and wrapping your arms around her can be nice for both of you. Plus moving in rythm is a bonus that helps out too.
The Gentlemen: Holding the door open for her and guiding her inside with a light touch at the small of the back is a nice touch that she will appreciate.
Grey Fox's favorite KINO:
Kissing KINO: When I go in for a kiss I like to run my hand through her hair and touch her cheek as a I kiss her. I usually get a smile for that one.
Holding Hands: Old fashioned yes, but nice when you two are walking together. Also having taken a few trips over to Europe I am also a big fan of walking arm in arm and just carrying on a nice little conversation. This is nice for when you two are just starting to get comfortable with each other.
Slip Hug: When you hug for the first time this is great. You start out hugging and as you break from the hug you can lightly run your arms down hers and find her hands and hold them. It can really up the IL and can lead to a kiss.
KINO is best used when you are talking and want accent something by the use of touch. Or a way to gain attention without having to say much at all. It signals that you're having a good time while you both are playing it cool, and if she is playing it cool this is the best way for her to communicate back she is having a good time without blowing her playing it cool. Think of Kino as a tool of translation when you two are saying something that may seem vague or needs a little direction. Since most women think guys are dense in the sexual department, they will use touch as a subtle way to clear up any verbal subtles.
Example: Your hugging at the end of a date.
Her: "You're such a cool friend to hang with." (She breaks the hug early.)
Same situation now.
Her: "You're such a cool friend to hang with." (She rubs your back, squeezes you a little tighter than she needs to, rubs your butt or thigh briefly.(Yes that does happen
)Sure the language sounds like you are not doing so hot. But actions speak louder than words. The breaking of a hug real early like she is trying to escape a death trap is a definate deal breaker.(DUH) But in the second part of the example where she touches you like I mentioned is a signal that she may be playing it cool but is more interested than she is letting on. The importance of KINO cannot be denied, it is the action the speaks volumes what our words don't not or refuse to say. It can betray a persons true feelings and is one of many good ways to gauge her interest level in you.
-Grey Fox
