How To Act Naturally With HB's

I've seen a lot of qustions and such regarding people having insecurities about approaching or talking to HB's, stuttering, acting 'unatural,' and so on. Why do you think this is? You don't have this problem when you're talking to a 5 do you? You can probably spit flawless game and act like the $hit. You probably have friends that you could talk to forever without a lapse in the convorsation -- being funny all the while. Why can't you have that ability with a HB?

We all know about pedestalization and such, but what also GREATLY contributes to your not being able to act around them like you do most others has to do with what you're subconsciously THINKING about when you're with them. When you go to talk to these ladies, you're thinking somewhere in your mind how you'd like to be making out w/ or screwing this broad -- or about how she meets your looks standards -- you're thinking about how you'd like something in return from this girl. With wanting some sort of reciprocation of interest from a girl comes nervousness. You don't EXPECT anything from your guy friends and those ladies you aren't interested in do you? No.

Next time you try to talk with a HB, be conscious of your natural desires to want action from her -- AND DISMISS THEM. That doesn't mean not being open about your sexuality -- in fact it's easier to talk about sexual matters with a person whom you aren't seeking a sexual relationship with. I'm sure most of you guys talk about sexual matters with your guy friends. Like a lot of DJ rules, this helps to alleviate pressure on yourself, and bring out a more natural, less inhibited you. Tell yourself that you really don't care about getting some from this chick, even if she is great looking. Putting sexual desires out of mind / asside will clear the path for the rest of your thought processes. The convo will be smoother, and you'll be more relaxed knowing you're not competing for anything.

The irony here is this: You dismiss the possibility of anything sexual between you and a girl -- act better, funnier, more confident around her -- and end up generating her sexual interest in you.

- Maurizio

good post, i have this to add that hapened to me.... when i started trying to learn all the DJ tactics, i was in a deep crush wit hthis girl, well iwould talk to her but i wouldnt have very good conversation because i would always think about how i wanted her to liek me so i wouldnt want to do anything stupid, well one day i was talking to her and she was all over my friend and another guy, so that made me mad and i basicly nexted her, i didnt think i had a shot with her and really didnt care anymore cause i was frusttrated, well the next time i talked to her , i didnt really care wheither she like me or not. i was able to be a lot more my self and whithin a week, she was really into me. so that how i i learned how to talk to the really hot girls. but just be open with them...do what maurizo said.

Good post, alot of times its hard to realize what your doing until someone points it out.

Good post. I'll have to work on it, heheh. I think if you get into the mindset of how you pick from the crowd and that you are the prince, then they'll no longer be on a pedestal, you won't have a problem. Treat them all the same.

You made some great points man.
This is the normal psychological thing humans have. They want things they can't or won't be able to have.

In AFC case these things are women.
They think that they couldn't possible have this particular woman.
Or if they are more advanced they use to think that they must to do something extra good to mack this chick, they should say something revolutionary to get her into sack. By doing this they won't act naturally!

I also wan't to point out when people can have things (women in this case), they don't wan't to have it so much.. It seems to lose it's glow.
This is why many women (all?) lose intrest if you don't remain some challenge in you. You always have to have something they can't reach.


Like psychofurryewok pointed out this is why we should follow the
"Treat them all the same" DJ rule.
And Maurizio told what this rule really means.

Excellent post!

Its really true you know, the chicks that I had no intention of progressing with sexually are th easiest to DJ. The chicks who Im worried about, are the hardest.

Back at my old school, I didnt feel like going out with any girls, and it was super easy to be a great DJ.

Now at my new school, im like "hmmm what about that on chick... I wonder if she likes me or not...." And i CARE about how they react, so in turn im much easier manipulated by them.

Ive recently begun cutting back on that, I think it has to do with my whole ideal about being accepted at my new school. And nowq since Ive been going there for a while, its more like "heh, yeah i belong here, its my damn school"

While before it was like "damn, i gotta go make friends cuz i dont wanna be all alone and a nobody here"

Thanks guys. Some validation is nice.

This issue is exactly the reason why it seems as though when you have a girlfriend, that it's so much easier to generate other girls' interest in you.

You're no longer on the market, you're getting what you want (presumably...), and you aren't concerned with "getting anything" in return from any other chicks. It's not the fact that you have a girlfriend that's attractive to other ladies, but the resulting demeanor that you take up as a result. As one of Pook's bible posts talks a great deal about, you've "Killed your desperation."

Achieving this more relaxed and carefree state that is oh - so helpful, relies on the dismissal of your HB desires.

That saying about how once you stop looking for something, it will fall in your lap... there's a bit of truth to that.

- Maurizio