How to avoid being a nice guy ?
- Thread starter Thechamp
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RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
When it comes to relationships, think of yourself first. Think about what you want, then only be willing to give your partner what she wants if she reciprocates. Nice guys just fvcking give give give in the hopes that all that fvcking giving will eventually pay off.
Well it doesn't, all it does is make you look like a Beta stooge that is just DYING to be used.
That's it... it's that simple. Put yourself and what you want first. Compromise ONLY when the women you are with is willing to give as well.
Well it doesn't, all it does is make you look like a Beta stooge that is just DYING to be used.
That's it... it's that simple. Put yourself and what you want first. Compromise ONLY when the women you are with is willing to give as well.
Slash Dolo
Senior Don Juan
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^Mike nailed it.
Look, there's nothing wrong with being a nice guy in the sense of doing nice things or not being an assh*le. The thing is, too much too soon can make you come off as manipulative, desperate and low value. Taking a girl out on a date and buying her whatever and paying for her meal and this and that before she's done anything for YOU will make you seem like the three characteristics I listed in bold up there. Make it equal. Treat the girl like you would treat a friend of yours. Do you buy your buddy meals when you go out to eat? Do you show up with flowers when you offer to drive your guy friend to the movies? No, so don't do it for a woman unless you're in a serious relationship or she does things for you first.
In short, be a mirror to what she does, not a mirror that opens to a cabinet and contains whatever she wants inside.
Look, there's nothing wrong with being a nice guy in the sense of doing nice things or not being an assh*le. The thing is, too much too soon can make you come off as manipulative, desperate and low value. Taking a girl out on a date and buying her whatever and paying for her meal and this and that before she's done anything for YOU will make you seem like the three characteristics I listed in bold up there. Make it equal. Treat the girl like you would treat a friend of yours. Do you buy your buddy meals when you go out to eat? Do you show up with flowers when you offer to drive your guy friend to the movies? No, so don't do it for a woman unless you're in a serious relationship or she does things for you first.
In short, be a mirror to what she does, not a mirror that opens to a cabinet and contains whatever she wants inside.
Zion
Senior Don Juan
Read No More Mr Nice Guy.
SgtSplacker
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THIS ^. I think it's critical for a man to have a sit down with himself and just really put some thought into what kind of relationship will make you happy. Some dudes like open relationships, I had a room mate that would lock his girl in his room with him all day and just bang away with her. I mean literally they did not leave the room the entire day, he would make sammy runs to the fridge for both of them maybe they would come out at night. He would break up with that girl after a while and the new one would do the same thing with him. So yeah it's different strokes for different folks. Decide and just stick with it man, if a girl strays too far from what you want just dump her ass and keep looking. You will be surprised how many times you will tell a girl "no", and turn your back on her only to have her say "sorry" and totally just try to make you happy doing whatever you want (and this is the right way for things to be). But you have to know what you want and communicate that in a non controlling way.RangerMIke said:
GS750
Master Don Juan
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This article sums it up quite nicely:Thechamp said:
http://boldanddetermined.com/the-on...-vying-for-your-love-attention-and-affection/
KingBeef
Master Don Juan
That's crazy... I need to try that on my next day offSgtSplacker said:
Infern0
Master Don Juan
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Have self respect and learn the fundimentals That's it.
Nice guys aren't "nice" they lack self respect and confidence.
You can be "nice" but have confidence, charm and self respect and be incredibly attractive to women that way, being weak, needy and lacking self respect is incredibly unattractive.
There's no such thing as a "nice" guy it's a "weak" guy.
Nice guys aren't "nice" they lack self respect and confidence.
You can be "nice" but have confidence, charm and self respect and be incredibly attractive to women that way, being weak, needy and lacking self respect is incredibly unattractive.
There's no such thing as a "nice" guy it's a "weak" guy.
dont act like a p@ssy n stands up for urself not bein a push over n make u wut u wanna b havin character not bein afraid to speak up n make urself known. its ok to be cool treatin ppl cool n doin nice things at tmes but if u let ppl b takin advantage of ya n thats where ur goin wrong n ppl wont see u as nothin but a nice dude whos a pushover p@ssy n women wont have no respects for u.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Nice guys do favors for others believing that in turn they will "owe you one." It's fine to negotiate a trade up front but arbitrarily doing "nice" things for people and expecting them to reciprocate is a waste. I'm not saying that you should stop doing nice things for people either, just do it for their benefit regardless whether you get anything in return.
Lozboss
Master Don Juan
This is right.Infern0 said:
You can still be nice without being a 'nice guy'