When Sexuality Is Wielded Against You

Enough of the usual b1tching and moaning that has come to clog these discussion boards on a daily basis.

Instead indulge yourself in this thread and let the intellectual side of you take over. Allow yourself to be stimulated. Use the faculties of your mind instead of emotion.

This thread is not intended to power you with some sort of advice or mystical technique.....the point of the thread is to allow you to think and be made aware of fact. Now onwards.....




You're a man with a girlfriend/wife. Very happy in the relationship. Could use a bit more sex.....but who couldn't right? Both of you seem on the "up and up" and both are excelling in your respective careers.

The woman is an attractive woman but also a caring one. There are women you have banged before (and even dated) but none compare to how compassionate and kind this current woman is. She puts your interests and hobbies into hers, because she seeks to support you in all your dealings.

One night you get into a disagreement and you are left angry at each other. The woman subconsciously understands that the main source of value to the man is her sexual presence. So she often appeals to that when things go awry. So before bed, she proceeds to undress and call your attention to her...

"Whoops....my clothes fell off".

Now in the past this woman will display sexual advances such as this, but rarely if ever actually sleeps with you. In essence it is a tease. Its purpose is to smooth over the tension. So.....what is a man to do?

A) Reciprocate with attention and maybe even get to fondle her! wow yay awesome. You try to escalate things but she rejects you hard. You try to plow but you reach that WALL where if you take it any further it may indeed be rape as she clearly doesn't want it. But....the tension is gone. You two find that things are back to normal and kiss good night. The following day it is like the disagreement never happened. But you can't help to think to yourself that you caved. You feel like less of a man....and you are not sure why.

B) Ignore her attempt at reconciliation. This path may jump out immediately as the correct choice, but upon further pondering you realize that this may lead to an even more hostile situation as she will now feel embarrassment. And we know women.....they won't ever blame themselves. So naturally she blames you. Calls you names, says things like "guess you don't love me" and ultimately tries to shame you into caving into a little beta b1tch basket. The next day things will remain tense until someone brings the dispute up and things may spiral in a circle and you may find yourself back at square 1.


Almost seems like a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" ?

What path would you take? Is there a "Path C" ? Be realistic in your approach to this. Don't say things like "I'd just smash her and show her who is boss". Use that noggin of yours. Looking forward to a bunch of spirited answers for once. This should be interesting.

B is not her attempt at reconciliation.

B is her attempt at seeing if he will crawl and beg and feed her emotional validation. Once she has gotten that, she doesn't need anything else and will give him the cold shoulder like the little beta b!tch that he is.

If there was a disagreement, nothing less than peaceful discourse or an apology from either side will be the right path.

Other than that, she is using sex as manipulative tool to make him squirm and beg.

Why do you have to be such a little *****?

Just admit that this 'scenario' is you and your girlfriend and stop trying to protect a reputation that none of us care about.

Now that's out of the way and we all know you are ASKING for our advice but too ***** to say the words.

Here's my advice. If she is teasing you and then not having sex there are a number of reasons for her denying the sex:

-It could be that she has a low sex drive and doesn't want to sleep with you very often.

-It could be that she is ****ing another guy behind your back who is hotter or more successful than you are or just more alpha for whatever reason, finds him more attractive and is therefore less attracted to you. This is probably as common with women as it is for men sleeping behind their girlfriends back. Guys hate to believe it though.

-Could be she just doesn't find you as attractive these days.

It's unlikely to be low sex drive but you can ask her about it. If it's any of the other reasons then break off the relationship and explain she isn't sexually satisfying you. From your next conversation onwards frame and control ALL interaction from the perspective that as the man in the relationship it is your right to get sex at least everyday or every other day. If she has a low sex drive then make her agree to sex at least every other day. If it's any of the other reasons just tell her you are leaving because she isn't sexually exciting enough, don't actually say because you aren't getting sex as that sounds needy.

Honestly if she is teasing you and then not giving you sex she sounds like a control freak and you can either persist with her and try and frame interactions showing you as boss not letting her take control or just move on because she sounds like more work than most girls would be.

The teasing wouldn't be a problem if he was getting enough sex, it's clear she is with holding sex from him which is the real problem. But the teasing is her way of using your attraction to her to control the relationship and win arguments.

PairPlusRoyalFlush said:

C) Exception, dump your low il GF man

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saberu said:

Why do you have to be such a little *****?

Just admit that this 'scenario' is you and your girlfriend and stop trying to protect a reputation that none of us care about.

Now that's out of the way and we all know you are ASKING for our advice but too ***** to say the words.

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Lol.....some people think they are smarter than they really are. Typical of the "modern sosuave" and frankly....boring.

El Payaso said:

B is not her attempt at reconciliation.

B is her attempt at seeing if he will crawl and beg and feed her emotional validation. Once she has gotten that, she doesn't need anything else and will give him the cold shoulder like the little beta b!tch that he is.

If there was a disagreement, nothing less than peaceful discourse or an apology from either side will be the right path.

Other than that, she is using sex as manipulative tool to make him squirm and beg.

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Interesting take. I find it best when you really ignore and do not validate her actions.....they eventually crawl back. I personally dont even need an apology. It's almost apologizing without actually saying words when a woman crawls back.

I would try to have sex, then when she rejects me and stops me from having sex, I'd ask her "what are you still doing here?"
She might ask 'what do you mean?' or something of the sort to which I reply, 'Don't try to tease me like that. You need to leave right now.' or if we live in the same home, 'you're not sleeping in this room tonight.' (she's sleeping on the couch lol) At that point everything would be her fault. Either she bends to my will or she can blame me for which I will break off the relationship with her since that means that she was not fitting for my requirements. If she begs and says sorry and that she will have sex and whatnot, then she can sleep on the same bed, but no sex cuz I will tell her the famous quote I learned here that goes "B!tch, your pvssy ain't golden!". I will not have my pride taken away by some used up expired fvcking canoe that women call a 'vagina'. This will make her feel bad and sets a boundary.

And I wake up the next day, go about my merry way as if nothing ever happened, and when 12 AM hits the next day, that's when I bring out the whips and chains baby......

TheException said:

Lol.....some people think they are smarter than they really are. Typical of the "modern sosuave" and frankly....boring.

Interesting take. I find it best when you really ignore and do not validate her actions.....they eventually crawl back. I personally dont even need an apology. It's almost apologizing without actually saying words when a woman crawls back.

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Yeah, ignoring is what any man should do. Yeah, the apology doesn't have to be in the form of words every time. Sometimes, it needs to be though. It all depends.

The disagreement might not always be the woman's fault though. A man should also be able to realize when he is the cause of the disagreement and apologize swiftly ONCE before it gets out of hand.

El Payaso said:

The disagreement might not always be the woman's fault though. A man should also be able to realize when he is the cause of the disagreement and apologize swiftly ONCE before it gets out of hand.

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Ignoring it may not necessarily lead her to come crawling back depending on her personality. If it was that easy it wouldn't really be thread worthy and I'm sure he could have worked it out on his own.

Disagreements are to be expected in a relationship

Option A is only acceptable if it leads to hot makeup sex. it diffuses the tension and often leads to sincere apologies afterwords. Both of you are less defensive and can try to meet each other half way.. sounds like a natural healthy relationship.

i'm not sure what your GF is trying to do with her version of Option A.. sounds like BS.

Option B. is less preferable for me because i have to play some childish game of ignoring her. But yeah if Option A = Rejection. i'm choosing option B. and start to look for another chick. Life is too short to be playing games with manipulative women

Agreed with Star, disagreements are to be expected in a relationship. With my ex/wf we didn't have a lot of heated angry arguements.

It's was usually Option A/C with her occasionally apologizing for being too emotional or me for being a selfish a**hole and she rarely put up a wall or rejected me.

C) Kiss her passionately and then go to bed.

Everyone sort of wins and looses with that option.

If you can't turn her on enough to want to have sex with you then surely you're doing something wrong, no?

El Payaso said:

The disagreement might not always be the woman's fault though.

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Although common sense....this is not "common sosuave sense". Many deny any wrong doing in their relationship. A lot of men drop the ball when it is in fact their fault.

Starwolf said:

Disagreements are to be expected in a relationship

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hockeyfreak79 said:

Agreed with Star, disagreements are to be expected in a relationship. With my ex/wf we didn't have a lot of heated angry arguements.

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I think this is a very under discussed topic on these boards. Too much flatulence about "boundary setting" and "laying down the law" when in the end, relationships are in fact a two person system.

With that being said....selecting the right person to enter into a relationship with, is the most important part.

sylvester the cat said:

If you can't turn her on enough to want to have sex with you then surely you're doing something wrong, no?

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I agree with this in most instances. It's the basis of attraction.

But women's attraction levels are not at a set level. They are in constant flux. For instance when my girlfriend and I go to the gym.....her levels skyrocket. When she's p1ssed off.....they plummet.

Although sex is a major indicator of a healthy relationship....it is not accurate in all scenarios.

Danger said:

You are a smart guy Exception.

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But not as smart as you Danger

Quit always trying to force feed your advice about my relationship in which you know nothing about. You now have even gone so far, as taken an imaginative discussion topic used to generate debate as some event taking place in my own life lol.

I actually want to address your points though instead of the usual Danger treatment (ignore;dismiss) because I think you bring up some good points.

Exception, this is your problem right here. You accept the reality of being in a relationship where SHE sets the level of sexual contact. That is YOUR job and YOUR decision. If she doesn't meet it, then you leave and find it somewhere else.

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Yes and no. Unfortunately we live in the world where a woman actually does get to decide how often a penis goes into her vagina. You don't get to just "set the level"....that is not your decision. It is "their decision" if anything.

Screening takes care of this though. I don't know why a guy would ever settle for a chick who doles out sex less than he wants it.

When you are concerned about the level of sex you get, you are operating from a scarcity mindset. This is the foundation of your fear regarding boundaries.

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Point on boundaries is irrelevant to the discussion about sex.

And worrying about how much sex one gets does not trigger a scarcity mindset. If he stays because he FEARS lack of vag1na......that is scarcity mindset.

TheException said:

You're a man with a girlfriend/wife. Very happy in the relationship. Could use a bit more sex.....but who couldn't right? Both of you seem on the "up and up" and both are excelling in your respective careers.

The woman is an attractive woman but also a caring one. There are women you have banged before (and even dated) but none compare to how compassionate and kind this current woman is. She puts your interests and hobbies into hers, because she seeks to support you in all your dealings.

One night you get into a disagreement and you are left angry at each other.

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Come on bro, if she's so compassionate and kind and there are no other woman like her, why are you getting into a disagreement with her?

The woman subconsciously understands that the main source of value to the man is her sexual presence. So she often appeals to that when things go awry. So before bed, she proceeds to undress and call your attention to her...

"Whoops....my clothes fell off".

Now in the past this woman will display sexual advances such as this, but rarely if ever actually sleeps with you. In essence it is a tease. Its purpose is to smooth over the tension. So.....what is a man to do?

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In essence if she teased once or maximum twice, I would tell her where to go and get sex elsewhere.

Once the girl starts negotiating her strongest bargaining chip and doesn't follow through, you got to move on. Who wants to deal with a girl like that?

Don't say things like "I'd just smash her and show her who is boss". Use that noggin of yours. Looking forward to a bunch of spirited answers for once. This should be interesting.

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Bro you can't ask for advice and then say "don't give me this advice.". You are picking and choosing what you want to hear.

Pull back. Become aloof to her entirely. Ignore her contact while you aren't home. Go out with your buds. Make her wonder what's up with you. If she tries to talk to you just say "oh I'm good just got a lot going on at work". Eventually she will start initiating sex. Turn her down. Then tell her you are bored with sex and just haven't been in the mood. The hamster wheel will spin so hard that it pulls the pants right off and she will practically rape you.

Let me tell you guys a little tid bit of personal info. I love sex as much as anyone but I have a low sex drive. Serously once every 2 weeks and I'm good to go. When you can get to a state where you don't have to have it that is when you'll be able to establish control and then be able to get it whenever you want it. If your drive is not like mine fake it temporaroly. Trust me on this, it works.

Lack of sex is lowering interest. Aloof will be no help with fading interest.

Trump said:

Come on bro, if she's so compassionate and kind and there are no other woman like her, why are you getting into a disagreement with her?

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Well this is asinine quote.

So you never disagree with any plate, girlfriend, or wife? Disagreements/Arguments are common place and usually a tough spot for men. Most have zero idea what to do.

In essence if she teased once or maximum twice, I would tell her where to go and get sex elsewhere.

Once the girl starts negotiating her strongest bargaining chip and doesn't follow through, you got to move on. Who wants to deal with a girl like that?

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Good logic. I think the majority seem to be in the dumping camp. Most lack the balls and confidence to do it however.

Bro you can't ask for advice and then say "don't give me this advice.". You are picking and choosing what you want to hear.

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I'm not asking for advice....

logicallefty said:

Let me tell you guys a little tid bit of personal info. I love sex as much as anyone but I have a low sex drive. Serously once every 2 weeks and I'm good to go. When you can get to a state where you don't have to have it that is when you'll be able to establish control and then be able to get it whenever you want it. If your drive is not like mine fake it temporaroly. Trust me on this, it works.

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This is great insight. While most men desperately try to get as much sex as possible.....they usually come off as needy and pathetic. Often times when you are a strong male, women naturally seek to have sex often with you.

The sex drive thing I believe is also a blessing in disguise.

1) You are immune to women wielding their sexuality as a weapon to control you

2) Napoleon Hill wrote about using sex as productive energy. He states that most men waste this source of energy in the form of just plain sex. Most men never discover this energy until their 40s and 50s when their own sex drive/sex life has downhill spiraled. Then they achieve career success because they use this energy to propel their business.

logicallefty said:

Pull back. Become aloof to her entirely. Ignore her contact while you aren't home. Go out with your buds. Make her wonder what's up with you. If she tries to talk to you just say "oh I'm good just got a lot going on at work". Eventually she will start initiating sex. Turn her down. Then tell her you are bored with sex and just haven't been in the mood. The hamster wheel will spin so hard that it pulls the pants right off and she will practically rape you.

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I don't know about that bro. How can rejecting her turn her on? Rather than wanting to rape you, she'll think she is worthless and get angry and reject you. You make it difficult once or twice she'll look elsewhere.

Let me tell you guys a little tid bit of personal info. I love sex as much as anyone but I have a low sex drive. Serously once every 2 weeks and I'm good to go. When you can get to a state where you don't have to have it that is when you'll be able to establish control and then be able to get it whenever you want it. If your drive is not like mine fake it temporaroly. Trust me on this, it works.

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Damn that's impressive. If I don't get it everyday I'm climbing the damn walls, and my sex drive is alot lower now than it was in my 20s.