Calling all true DJs. The ultimate resurrection! Help it continue.

So I had the most amazing Fri. Night with a girl that I met in an amazing way back in November on a train. Please read here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=222005

Then this happened: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=223271

It is very important to the present situation with her. I know this can be time consuming but this one is pretty important for me to hear from you guys on. Please take the time to help out. I have been pouring as much of my time into reading and commenting around here as I can and I hope I can get a reciprocated effort.

VERY Attractive, normal girl, who lives close by. Would love for this to turn out well. Yes, Ill walk away if I have to, just don’t want to have to, you know. Yet right now things are good Id like to keep it that way. She is definitely a top plate and the story is sort of unreal and continues to be.
So here goes.

After I thought this situation with this girl was dead in the water. She texts me out of the blue 5 days after flaking our confirmed meeting for Mon. Apologizes for not getting back to me about what happened to her and asks me if I want to have an adventure with her. (We have this flirty thing when we text about how after our original meeting being an adventure everything is kind of based around that. New years eve she actually reached out to me unsolicited and I tried to rope her in. Then she got cold feet and I blew her off) I tell her I would be down for an adventure but it better be pretty good for me to bump my fri night plans. Well, it was pretty ****ing good. Backstage VIP all access to a famous DJ performance in Manhattan. We book it and I pick her up.

After not seeing her for almost 2 months, only meeting her that one time before, and not really talking much in between.( I still have never spoken to her on the phone.) We hit it off again right away. Warm, and not nervous on either part. Almost like old friends( uh o).

The drive in we are talking everything is going well. I gave her some sh!t for flaking and she was squirming and apologetic.(Didn’t act but hurt about it. Yet, I did scold her for disrespecting someone’s time) Told her the only reason she was worth a second chance was because of our amazing first meeting. We grab a bite to eat and finish the drive into the city.

When we get there she comments on how lucky we always are together and how everything always goes right when we meet up(found a perfect parking in 1 min) We hit the first bar we see. Have a nice time and bounce. (She doesn’t drink beer but she did there) Hit the next bar. Now this is where things start to get interesting.

When I first resurrected this girl the first time after 7 weeks.(Saw her at my gym. Texted her a warm and playful greeting) she responded with friend zone chatter. I wont get into here but I managed to make that a no fly zone with her. Let her initiate all further contact after that.

So we are at this bar and I begin to start PU with other girls. Telling her she is great bait.( I actually brought this up with her in the car for a sec to) Obviously she is a bit put off and tells me that that is not how girls really work and it won’t work. So, In 45 min. I get two other girls #s! She is in shock and admits I know what Im talking about. Especially after one of the girls interrupts us and rubs my ear and head and reminds me to text her tomorrow. Now, my train girl is on notice. I am beaming inside.I am going to make LJBF is going to sting after you say it to me.

I start to talk to her about my study of body language and like everybody always she is super interested. We have ****tails and analyze people. Then I start to deconstruct her. She asks about my findings and I challenge her. “I know you think I am a player. But in the hrs that we have spent together, no matter how great out first meeting and how well we get along, I just know you are not into me. Your body language has never once demonstrated that to me, so I figure if I am going to hang out with a gorgeous girl like you, I am going to use it to my advantage. But its kind of nice being with you because with you I don’t have to run any game. I can just be myself.” FTW!! ( I know that sh!t sounds AFC but just trust me)

She blushes and begins to protest about how I couldn’t know that because she might be into me. And what do I mean she never demonstrates that she is into me. HAHA. Trying to convince me that she is.

Anyway, we go to the venue. More drinks while we wait for VIP. While walking through the crowds I open my arm and she slides right in to hang onto me. And she starts her KINO. WE find a spot and chat well. Warming. More KINO.

Upstairs VIP we hang and enjoy ourselves some more. Taking pictures good vibes dancing. KINO getting heavier now. Skin. Yum.

She put her neck openly right near my lips. And again. Second time I tell her real close to her ear. “HB9, if you do that again we are no longer going to be just friends” She turns to me and for the first time I know that this girl is pretty seriously into me. Long gaze, moving her hips, head tilt, blushing and just looking at me with plain sexiness. She turned on her “woman” act.
( She is a young 26 and can be very innocent, cute, and pretty ditzy at times)

A song comes on and she starts complaining. She hates it and wishes it would end. Reminds her of an ex. I tell her to enjoy it for the new moment happening now. She says she still might have some unresolved feelings. I tell her I am so glad she brought that up. I tell her about my onities(We have spoken about this with each other before, the first night we met) and that I was supposed to call her today but instead you HB9 called and it kept me from going down that road.

So I tell her. We are going to make new memories for you for this song. I tell her. “Now HB9, I want you to kiss me” She leans in and complies. Its an ok kiss actually. Now, my turn, this time, I get some passion out of her. Next song, some more kissing but no real fireworks( Could be nerves and PDA stuff) I tell her to loosen up. Its ok. Its just some kissing. Doesnt have to mean to much(trying to get her comfortable and gauge whats going on). Lets just enjoy it for what it is in the moments. We kiss. Then she backs off. Tells me she is unsure about all this. She says "You keep telling me to live in the moments but that is the GUY point of view. I am a girl. We get more attached then that. You are not the only one who has had there heart broken Salinechow."

So I say "HB9. Why is everything always a marrge proposal with you. Just shut up and keep kissing me. Then when you dont want to anymore dont. Not everything is outcome based. Just enjoy "us" "here" "Now"."

We kiss again.

I mean f^ck though. At least im hooking up with her finally. One more kiss. “We are going to make everyone jealous” “ Yes we are”

The night itself was incredible. Backstage and hob knobbing with all the VIPS. Had a great time. She was beaming. She of course gets flirted with by everyone but like I said she is pretty physically stiff so that usually handles itself. Hot guys get put off by the ice and her nervousness and uglier AFC types ( who she is actually a little friendlier with still cant handle her much) And, after enough time, she would always scan the crowd for me. I made sure not to hover and kinda did my own thing. One guy though was actually drunk grabbing at her on my way out. I let it go on for a while and she can handle herself mostly, but after a few seconds. I told him to beat it and kick rocks. I am only 5’8 but I defiantly a pretty imposing character. Almost everyone I meet guesses Law Enforcement. Especially now that I’m in the gym 6 days a week. I really think she enjoys this about me. I don’t meander through crowds, I make way. Im not a d!ck or an instigator but I am solid and people always apologize to me and move. I just have that look. I mention this because she does. Later on that night I ran across the street without her. She was in shock. She said “That was the first time you left me. You protected me all night and I never expected you’d go without me.” She said this very sweetly like. I just told her to keep up.

It was so f^cking freezing out but I took a lot of photos of her. I like this move. Keeps them humble because they are always concerned how they will ook in photos of your possession but also flatters them at the same time.
Also gives you a way to instruct them around and get used to hearing you tell them what to do. You guys will like this one. At one point I told her to sit of a barrel outside the first bar we went to and I said to her, “HB9, don’t take this the wrong way, but I want you to listen to me. You are always so stiff looking in your photos. Your body language comes of stiff. I want you to spread your legs this time while you are sitting and don’t look at the camera.” She ate this sh!t up. Did what I said. The photo came out great and she loved it.

<Cont below> PLEASE KEEP READING you charming bastards

cont.

The ride home was nice. I asked her if she wanted to hold hands to warm up in the car. She was more responsive to this than anybody ever. She was like ”That is so nice. I really would like that” Then, she did something I have never seen. She took of all her rings and jewelry to hold my hand. It was actually really sweet and nice.
Held her hand (comfortably so) for like 20 min. Rub her legs a bit too. Tried to get the pinky swiped through p^uss but I got to say though, this girl is stiff. She always sits in the car in a very guarded way. I did catch her looking at me a few times, gazing actually. Different than before. At one point I told her” Now I want to kiss you again” because of the looks. Took of my seatbelt and leaned over and almost crashed the car while kissing. Then again. Still, no fireworks, just kisses. Short, shallow ones.

(Im scrathing my head. Is she just all around a physically stiff girl or is she really just not that into me and kissing is safe enough that there is no investment to it with her.)

Dropped her of about 6am. She hugged me on the way out of the car and thanked me. ( sort of nervous goodbye) Yet, when she caught my eye we kissed again. 4 times. Same as before. Shallow short ones.

I just cant tell if its me or her.

Next day, she texts me first thing in the morning. Asks if I have whatapp to share the photos. I wait about 2hrs and send her one photo of the the DJ booth. She sasses me and asks for more. I break her shoes a bit and she laughs about it with me. We go back and for intermittently through the day. We speak only of the pictures. That’s how I left it.

I went out again in the city last night with the boys. I knew I was defiantly way to into this chick already and needed to find more plates asap. I literally did 10 cold approaches and did quite well in fact. No pulls though and no #s. Wingmen where absolut sh!t c)ckblocks. I almost beat some guy up too but I am too old for that sh!t and just moved on.

So here is my ultimate question. Everybody thinks this girl is defiantly into me. Everyone says to just do whatever I want and be myself with her. I think this is horrible advice. If I let my guard down like that again I am going to end up sending her songs and sweet texts and playful banter and dinner dates and I just don’t think that is a good idea. I have come to far.
Actually, from what I get from this girl, it actually might work. She likes that stuff it seems, but I don’t want to find out if Im wrong. She actually said one reason she flaked for our first date, was because I told her to meet me there. She didn’t feel obligated because I didn’t offer to pick her up. She defiantly likes the gentleman side of me. The protection and the firmness. I don’t stumble over myself to open doors and walk on the danger sides of the street but I know she likes it when I do.

Do I turn up the sweet with this girl. Text her a bit today and flirt a little? Do I keep up the “adventure” dates? Or can I start to book more low key get together, like normal dinner and drinks? Do I disappear on her and wait for her to pursue? I cant imagine she wouldn’t. Even if it takes a month. I am 90 percent sure she wants to hang with me again. She has absolutely no reason not to. She was praising me all night how I was better company than anybody else would have been. She was glad I was there over even her best friends and sisters.

Unless…. The kissing was just for that night and she regrets it and is weird to hang and NOT kiss and doesn’t know how to tell me? Do you guys think she kissed me just because she is to shy to say no in the moment?

OK. Boys. I don’t trust my inner sanctum and what they are advising. I hardly trust myself when I cant like this about a girl. I do however know the advice I am about to get here will be what I should do.

P.S What an amazing resurrection huh! This things was dead TWICE. Now… (whistles) The best looking and coolest of all the plates is spinning strong. I actually found out from her that the accidental pocket dial VM I left was empty and she also said to me"She loves texting with me becasue she always actually laughs out loud and Im always interesting. She gets excited when its me. Who knew. I f^cking hate texting.

I absolutley want to sleep with this girl. Goes without saying. I have chicks for that though. I am really more interested in LTR with this girl. Lives close, is smoking hot(pics on request) and is cool as hell and sweet. Also, loves fitness. haha. She used to be a fat chick! I think this one trumps my nitis:

Thanks guys, really, I need you on this one.

Before I read your story, I'm going to be perfectly straightforward with you salinechow - that is waaaay too much backstory for one girl, meaning you're probably overthinking this one far too much, meaning...meaning??? Come on, you know what I'm going to say next.....meaning, you probably care too much, and far too soon to boot.

I so appreciate the feedback. You are so right. I get that. Yet, it is me. Who I am. Some things dont change overnight. I like the anaylyzation. The chess of all of this. I like the different viewpoints so I offer alot of info. I am always thinking if one great DJ sees just one line of it that gets their jucies flowing and post about it. Somewhere down the line another newb will read it and it will help them.

I know we are not supposed to care so much as to overthink. You will laugh though.My mind works like this for everything I do. Not just this one chick. It exhausting actually, but like I said, it is me. AND, for alot of reasons, its a huge advantage. In previous professions lets say, these calculations were very valuable.

I hope its not rude to the forum. Again, I try and always post with other in mind as well.

I post long for others as well. In hopes that the deatail is helpful.

Thanks for even looking in, Between the lines. HAHA see what I did there.

Serious though. Thanks. I get it.

I think PHM or PPRF said this but, girls love a player who is overtly affectionate(beta) to her but not afraid to walk away at the same time. But she has to know that you're a player/willing to walk away. She is definitely interested in you and KNOWS what you're capable of. I'm not gonna lie, you pulled some smooth moves back there as well. The dates and gestures don't matter at this point because she's already interested in you. If you go ghost on her she WILL contact you at this point and when she does, ask her out and escalate. Show her a little more of that affectionate smooth side that she saw that night. In the rare chance that she doesn't contact you after about a week, contact her instead. If you want a LTR you have to go a bit slower or it will crash just as fast as it started. You need to have sex with her, when you do she will be in your hands so long as you keep this behavior up and or do your own thing.

And what happened the first 2 times?

Just remember, the mysterious-smooth-GENTLEMEN is what she is clearly digging. Oh yeah, pm me pics!

Well played but I'm not sure you really needed to go through all that complication. I would usually only invite a girl to that sort of thing post sex not before, it's too much effort but hopefully you enjoyed it.

Was this your second date and you haven't fvcked her yet? Dropping her off was your chance. I'm not a big fan of lots of kissing and then ending up home with a d1ck in your hand.

At this point I would do either of two things: go to a local bar, have a drink and walk back home with her, or invite her straight to your place. I would just invite her to yours as a bootycall. "What are you doing tonight?" sort of text she responds with not much and you say "Let's hang out". If she's interested enough, which she appears to be then it should be as simple as that. You could seed it beforehand by telling her "I'll need to show you those pictures sometime".

If you don't have sex next time you see her it's over.

After reading your story, I still maintain that your hopes and desires for this one to work out is too high. It's alright to be overanalytical - I'm very much like that myself, many times to my own detriment (paralysis by analysis..take note) - but try to avoid using that high powered perception on women you are dating, especially ones you have a strong interest in. Where you see "the chess of it all", I simply see a rapidly developing skyscraper of oneitis in the making - sorry to break it to you. You're going into exquisite detail about how long you held her hand, the types of kisses you guys shared - I mean, halfway through your story I'm expecting you to provide a minute-by-minute playback, what happened at 2:03 A.M., where exactly your hands were on her legs at 2:17 A.M., if you guys shared "a look" at one another at 2:55 lol - and then you go on to cap it off by saying that you "absolutely want to sleep with this girl". Dude, where is the Salinechow that schooled that guy the other day suffering from what you are ironically setting yourself up to get chewed up and spit out by? Looks like you got the theory down, but you still have yet to really internalize this stuff. That's alright, you'll get there.

I think telling you exactly what (I think) you ought to do will be more hurtful to you than giving you more free reign and allowing you to figure it out on your own. I think you should play it cool, definitely either keep trying to acquire more plates and/or focus much more intently on some other aspect of your life, and drive this situation of yours to the edge already - sex or nada.

Between The Lines:

Again, absolutely correct. I have it down pat and can write somewhat well, so I share. However, you are right, when a certain type comes along, I have trouble internalizing the philosophies for myself. I try and always be honest about this in my posts and when I see it of value to not omit my own struggles.

I am just not there yet with girls of a "certain caliber"( the way I see it) Makes me want to reach out to you guys. Again, I feel the more info I share the more chance I have of getting a gem from one of you. I am doing the work I preach as well. Gym 6 days a week. Trying to grow my business. I am a volley at a local ambulance core. I go out alone one night a week to make connections and find plates. I pursue fun weekends for the same. I have serval online profiles as well to find plates and connections.

I am not really DTF as much as you guys because I just plainly don’t enjoy it. Having said that, I still actually keep trying that as well when I can, to make sure. I kind of like relationship sex much better. So the philosophies here of pump and dump or next without sex on a timeline do not really resonate with me. However, I do agree that AFCing for a girl without sex is just stupid.

LJBF is also only for a select few that I dont see myself ever really wanting anyway or girls that can offer me something in return. Wingirls. Willing to pay. Add fun times or venues and pursue the friendship back.

In fact, just tonight a girl I have been talking with and had lunch with wanted to cry on my shoulder through text. I allowed it, I gave her advice. I know she wants to F me but she has a BF. So to put her to the test after she said "So when will I get to see you again" I told her "Sorry, you got your PG visit with me already. First ones free." She took a while and said "Ok text me this week if you want to hang" I of course will not. I of course never do. And now she is on notice. She asks to hang out and she is getting escalation. She wants to reject me and she'll never hear from me again. I can do some parts of this whole thing better then I ever thought I would have imagined.

Yet, like I said, certain girls, typically 8.5s or better and cool balanced girls get me to lose frame a bit. At least internally. So I come here to purge and gain advice , encouragement and perspective.

Seriously. Next a HB9 in two interactions if she doesn’t sleep with me. Isn’t there more to it than that? I mean I slept with 2 girls in one date already. I kind of hated it. One I slept with a few more times just to be sure. It was fine, but, I would rather wait with this girl if it is going to be worth it. I sense that being the Alpha man role of pushing sex on her will send her packing. Yet, I sense that if I wait, and slowly escalate, ( At least at this point we kissed) I could be rewarded. If you feel different still I would like to hear it. Yet, isn’t different styles necessary for different girls? So long as you are not an as$ kissing orbiter of AFC? Plus, I do have other plates spinning, I just like this one best. Don’t all of you like one of your plates best? Wanting and waiting and playing, for it to be more? Or am I missing something completely.

salinechow said:

So here is my ultimate question. Everybody thinks this girl is defiantly into me. Everyone says to just do whatever I want and be myself with her. I think this is horrible advice. If I let my guard down like that again I am going to end up sending her songs and sweet texts and playful banter and dinner dates and I just don’t think that is a good idea. I have come to far.

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Trust your instincts. You are correct and your friends are wrong. Just be yourself this early on is bad advice. Keep doing what you are doing so far you are going AWESOME.

I freaking loved the bit about her being 'bait', I've done this before and it works great. When she said that doesn't work on women... LOL!!! that is the EXACT response I always get. First it shows that women really don't know what they respond to, and you should NEVER take advice about women from women, because when they offer advice, they offer it from a logical perspective, BUT the respond emotionally. They can not be objective about attraction because thier minds don;t work that way. Second, any time a woman offers you advice about how picking up women won't work or that you shouldn't date 'her', it means she is interested in YOU. It is a stong IOA.

salinechow said:

She actually said one reason she flaked for our first date, was because I told her to meet me there. She didn’t feel obligated because I didn’t offer to pick her up. She defiantly likes the gentleman side of me. The protection and the firmness. I don’t stumble over myself to open doors and walk on the danger sides of the street but I know she likes it when I do.

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She is right. That's why I always recommend that you offer to pick her up. Let her tell you if she wants to meet you there. This is a TEST YOU CAN GIVE. If she says that you can pick her up, her interest level is pretty good. If she meets up with you, well there is interest, but you are going to have to work harder to get her.

When you offer to pick her up, you are sending out 'it's a date' vibe. Women really don't like not knowing where you stand and you should ALWAYS be putting out the vibe that you want to fvck her.... which include A DATE... IN THE EVENING. Nothing happens at lunch dates. It confirms you are interested in her.

salinechow said:

Do I turn up the sweet with this girl. Text her a bit today and flirt a little? Do I keep up the “adventure” dates? Or can I start to book more low key get together, like normal dinner and drinks? Do I disappear on her and wait for her to pursue? I cant imagine she wouldn’t. Even if it takes a month. I am 90 percent sure she wants to hang with me again. She has absolutely no reason not to. She was praising me all night how I was better company than anybody else would have been. She was glad I was there over even her best friends and sisters.

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Call her, make another date and get off the phone. This next date you need to step up your game a bit and go from there, sounds like you are good at reading body language, if things go as well as your first date. ASK HER BACK TO YOUR PLACE. If she says not, well not problem try it again on your next date. This does a couple of things for you. It lets her know that you definately want to fvck her. When a guy asks a girl to his place that is what they are thinking. If she goes back with you great... be advised that you must be patient... try to move things forward, but if yu get any resistance BACK OFF, then when she give you the green light, you can go back in, this time push a litlle bit harder to make things happen. Heck you might get back to your place and she's tearing off your clothes when you walk in the door... AWESOME if this happens, but don't expect it. Expect you're going to have to take two steps forward, one step back... and do this dance for awhile try to enjoy it and don't let it frustrate you.

salinechow said:

Unless…. The kissing was just for that night and she regrets it and is weird to hang and NOT kiss and doesn’t know how to tell me? Do you guys think she kissed me just because she is to shy to say no in the moment?

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It's part of the escalation process, holding hand, kissing, heavy petting, then sex. Making out with you is a good sign, it means she like you enough to at least want to move forward. But you won't really know until you try and make another date... if you get resistance or she flakes, just give her some space, try again in a week and if she won't go out, then back off and wait for her to contact you. But based on what you are telling me this is not going to happen.

But you are right to be concerned about eh 'moment' aspects of women. Your job as a man is to re-create that moment. Do not expect that you are going to pick her up again and start back up where you left off.

salinechow said:

P.S What an amazing resurrection huh! This things was dead TWICE. Now… (whistles) The best looking and coolest of all the plates is spinning strong. I actually found out from her that the accidental pocket dial VM I left was empty and she also said to me"She loves texting with me becasue she always actually laughs out loud and Im always interesting. She gets excited when its me. Who knew. I f^cking hate texting.

I absolutley want to sleep with this girl. Goes without saying. I have chicks for that though. I am really more interested in LTR with this girl. Lives close, is smoking hot(pics on request) and is cool as hell and sweet. Also, loves fitness. haha. She used to be a fat chick! I think this one trumps my nitis:
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I don't like texting either. I won't do it. I had a women that was like this. What I did was told her. "I don't like texting because I want to hear your voice." Works like a charm. From that moment on she would only text me "Do you want to talk?" and I would call her. This is another TEST YOU CAN GIVE HER, it's a compliance test, will she do what you ask. If she does, its an indicator of high interest.

You are doing great. But be warned your interest level is too high, be careful. This happens to me occasionally and it always helps me to remember to think count-intuitively, everything you THINK might work from a logical perspective doesn't. Attraction is emotional, ANY kind of emotion, if she get's ticked off because you didn't text her... well that's good, it's emotional and if she didn't care she wouldn't be mad. What goes on in their minds is "Why am I so mad? I must be in love with him." If she didn't experience negative emotions with you then she would be indifferent. The opposite of love is indifference.