Fellas,Quit playing games.

Lolapo said:

important background info
She's used to getting attention, there's plenty of guys wanting to get to her.
She lets them orbit around her but doesn't do anything with them.

Don't really know her, never talked to her bc I wasn't that interested.
Were at the same dance a week ago and caught her looking in my direction alot and making eye contact. She then came over to me and asked me some stuff, i was aloof as fck. We took a picture and then I left.

Present day
She started talking to me on FB, saying, look our picture! This was about 3days ago. Didn't really conversate as I know texting, fb etc can fck things up.
So we haven't really talked yet but I was sure she's sexually interested in me so I just initiated today and said:
ME: Hey you, we're going to grab a drink together this week
whaaat???? :crackup:
HER: oh, whats happening now?
ME: k then we won't
Whaaaaaat???? You had her??
HER: I do have class every day so during the week it's pretty hard, but I would like to go have a drink with you
ME: Doesn't have to be late in the week, but ok, lemme know when you're free, boring person
Whaaaaaaaaat????:crackup: :crackup:

She didn't respond anymore.
I'm 100% sure she's sexually attracted to me and I have alot of confidence so I wanted her to see this through FB as this is not real life. My guts say she's very intrigued after this even though she doesn't really come over as available. I wanted to stand out bc she has hundreds of guys hanging around her.

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Wolfjay said:

Hi everyone, haven't checked in for a while now, but lemme get to the point fast and quick, there's this girl I've been going out with, hanging around, and on top of it all sleeping with her, she's one I'm really into, you know the one I'm having a crush on, but I know she slept around with a few others I know, but that didn't bother me, were very close, but nothing brothered me. Until she called me telling me she's going to that bar with her 'girlfriends'... Ok, I came in there like half hr later, and see her dancing with some random guy
.. I went over to say hi and expected her to come with me, but apparently she started dancing with that guy for like an hour or so, I was very hurt, not to mention that I felt like everything we had on bed or whatever was just for 'HER' fun, so what should I do here? Tell her about it? Break up my connection with her? Keep on like nothing has happened? Again, she's not my 'GIRLFRIEND'.... we just didn't go the extra mile... Pls help me out here... My heart is breaking!! TIA

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Wolfjay said:

We're very very close, yes, we slept, kissed for hours, and much more.... But I specifically told her a few times that we're not commited to each other.... Would anybody here do the same? Would anybody hurt the way I did? Would u consider it disrespectful or not loyal? Or would u just take it as like it's totally normal?? I don't know where to start.... How can I MAKE her for my girlfriend and not come off needy or desperate especially after all that happened? Can I trust her? Pls help me out here... I'm really confused here! TIA

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GirlChase.com said:

A few months ago I discovered a book called The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins. Essentially, it’s a book from a few decades ago that explains why people act the way they do based on how genes behave. Before this book came out, scientists generally thought that men and women wanted to naturally cooperate with each other after conceiving a child and becoming parents.

But this book demonstrated those scientists were wrong. What it instead asserted was:

When a male and female come together, each partner is trying to exploit the other. Basically each parent wants to stick around long enough to make sure that the other one will raise the child, and then abandon their partner so they can produce more children with more partners.

Furthermore:

The exploitation method is easier for males. Long before the existence of humans, basic organisms had two types of reproductive cells, called gametes. One type was “big” and the other was “small.” The “big” gametes were nutrient rich and could feed a new “child” organism for a long time. These “big” gametes were very desirable, and so “small” gametes evolved to be fast, nimble and numerous in order to impregnate “big” gametes first. This was the evolutionary blueprint of eggs and sperm. The “small” gametes were numerous and expendable – and didn’t have to contribute anything to feeding a child” organism. The “big” gametes were slower and had the responsibility of feeding the developing organism. Which is why…
Women have to invest much more at conception. Since female eggs are the “big” gametes, women have the ability to provide ample nutrients for the fetus. A woman’s also saddled with the baby itself as it develops. Additionally, women have a limited number of eggs. On the other hand, men produce millions and millions of expendable sperm every day, and have to invest little to nothing to create a baby. And obviously have no role in the fetus development.

So:

Females needed a way to even the genetic playing field. This is true not only for humans, but for females in all of the animal kingdom.

Therefore:

Females learned methods to make males invest more before conception. Basically, females in all of the animal kingdom learned how to delay copulation until males proved themselves. Or in other words…

*Females refused to have sex until men proved they would stick around*. For birds, that meant males would have to build a nest to house the chicks before the female would have sex. For other animals… it was expressed as feeding the female as an investment in the male’s willingness to feed the fetus. And it’s now the same for humans (dinner date, anyone)?

Thus, if women make men put in a large investment before having sex with them:

The man is forced to compensate to some degree for the massive investment from the woman after conception.

The man is discouraged from leaving the woman because he knows how much effort he is going to need to put in to get a new partner.

And on a basic genetic level, that’s exactly why girls play games. If they have sex with you right away, they’ve played their trump card. And they stand to lose a lot if you get them pregnant. But if they make you go through a long, drawn out, high-investment courting process – and you show them you’re persistent – they know that you’ll stick around and raise a healthy family. So they then reward you with sex.

This is exactly why we have child support in modern society: to prevent genetic exploitation when these natural methods fail. We are naturally wired to spread our seed as much as possible. And a bunch of fatherless children goes against the interest of a stable society.

In an ideal human world, every woman would be a coy woman who eventually rewards a persistent man with sex. And every man would be a persistent man who is willing to invest his time and energy into one woman.

But this isn’t an ideal world…

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JohnChops said:

tricks like taking longer to text her, faking unavailability, not being straight up and direct are all crap.

I hate girls that do this, and I hate myself when I start doing these things.

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TheMonkeyKing said:

A few examples:

1.Not texting back immediately - attempts to invoke independent mind set and reduce reliance.
2.Flaking when they flake - attempts to show oneself (and her) that you have standards and you will not be a doormat.
3.Unavailability - encourages you to have an existence outside of the relationship and demonstrates that you do.

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BraddH said:

The right ways:

1. You are busy with your life: you cant text back immediately.
2. You have self-respect so if she flakes you without a valid and believeable reason, you leave.
3. Rather than playing/pretending to be "Unavaiable," to encourages you to have an existence outside of the relationship and demonstrates that you do, you SHOULD authenticly be unavaiable and busy with your life.

If one follows your ways, what happens?
Deep down you do all those games and strategies just to get the woman, in other words the woman is still the goal. And it is obvious that when you make a woman your goal, you are bound to fail.

REMEMBER: once you play all those games in order to attract her, it already means that you are more attracted to her and that she already has the upper-hand, upper-power.

Thats why I preach authenticness and being oneself. Do not play and act anything you are not. Rather than acting those dumbs games that are self-destructive, go out and be authenticly busy, absent, interesting, mysterious. MOST IMPORTANTLY: DO THIS FOR YOURSELF. I have repeated this thing in this forum so many times. Dont try to become rich and have status just to get woman. They smell this. And no matter how rich you become, as long as she is the goal, she has the upper hand, she is more powerful than you.

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ImTheDoubleGreatest! said:

I noticed this myself. Many so-called 'Don Juans' and the ones who are looked up to don't have any inner game. I was reading a thread about texting that just absolutely disgusted me. Everyone was just saying the same thing over and over again in different ways. All new ideas are shot down. And they are helping each other out too much. This is great for the true afc who just swallowed the red pill, but the thing is, these training wheels will soon inhibit your own personal growth. And others don't seem to get that. They only want to have the green bars on the left side filled out as a form of validation to themselves or read how others 'approved' of their posts. A lot of the people have only changed in knowing the 'techniques' of the DJ, but are relatively still the same person. They haven't actually changed themselves. They haven't changed their mindset. They never let themselves actually fail. You do NOT consult this website after a 'confusing' text message or what to do when a girl who seemed interested in you flakes. It is trial and error. This is confident persistence. Many of the people forgot about that and just next others far too quickly to avoid hurting their ever so precious self esteem.

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LiveYourDream said:

Until men get this, they are subject to the randomness of how the wind blows, and never truly the captain of their own ship.

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BraddH said:

Thats exactly what i want to tell the forum. Unless one is completely beyond beta and jerk, or nice and jerk, will one become truly a Don Juan. And then will one become the true head of oneself. One can control oneself completely. All others are just thinking that one is the head of oneself. Just unconciously.

Jerk is simply the other side of being beta. The other side of the same coin. But both is still deep down the same coin. Unless one reaches beyond this, one will not become enlightened.

Most of the guys misses the point of the DJ Bible. They become jerks to attract the girls. But still deep down they are clingy and desperate to get the girls, thats why they uses these jerks moves and eventually becomes jerks themselves. And all those strategies, oh my god: playing busy, acting not to care. They will just backfire.

Being a jerk works to a certain extend. Because it makes the girl think that you are a high value man that doesn't put up with peoples svht. But when one becomes a complete idiot and arrogant then one has passed the line. When someone is arrogant, you can tell that his life is fvcked up. It simply shows through his face and eyes. Not a single person who has a good life is arrogant.

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LiveYourDream said:

Indeed, many do not see that confidence and arrogance are worlds apart.

While both arrogance and confidence may initially perk a woman's curiosity, over time, one definitely repels while the other actively builds attraction.

The results in a man's life and experience are night and day.

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JohnChops said:

tricks like taking longer to text her, faking unavailability, not being straight up and direct are all crap.

I hate girls that do this, and I hate myself when I start doing these things.

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skinnyguy said:

I'd like to add one more thing.

A lot of guys sadly use PUA gimmicks like C+F. This is because they are not confident with themselves. If you use PUA tactics, you're devaluing yourself.

Ultimately, when you do it, it puts women on a pedestal and makes you look and feel desperate. A confident man would just be himself and not change his persona to get in bed with a woman.

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