Met her in an amazing way, now what?

Ok. Every post I make is to long but I really need feedback and assistance, so here are the cliff notes.

Flirt with girl buying a train ticket. She is responsive.

Train breaks down. We happen upon each other again so I approach.

My opener is to ask her advice on a text I sent to another chick. This amazingly works by disarming her thinking I might be hitting on her.

Conductor advises people to catch a cab. She asks me if I want to share a cab. I tell her yes, but let me see if I can work something else out first.

I get a friend to get my car at the original train station and come pick us both up and drive us to Manhattan. She is amazed I have friends I can call that would do this. She thinks I am an amazing man of mystery and poise.

While we wait I ask her if she wants to get a drink. She responds with a resounding yes. I make her buy the first rounds. She is stunned.(thanks SS)

We have amazing conversation. I let her do most of the talking. I tease her she loves it. Talking is 70 percent her 30 percent me.

My friends shows up with my car about an hour later. We all drive into the city. She comments about how great my music is. Gets along with my friend as well. Holds eye contact all night and always looks away first. (maybe even a little to intense)

(My kino was perfect all night) (the only negative to the whole night was she never reciprocated Kino at all)

She is genuine, warm, laughing and enjoying all her time with me otherwise. She actually has no game what so ever and could not hide her blushing and smiling and laughter. I mentioned us dating again sometime once or twice in a half kidding way like. "next time I see you would should come back here for dinner: Things like that. She always responded with "Yes. Definitely" "Im down"

Once we get where we are going and decide to part ways she asks if I will text her later. Or if she might text me. We could meet up again and mix groups maybe. I say its up to you. Its up to you. Quiet and reserved during the goodbye. I hail her a cab. She leaves.

Never heard from her and I have not texted her either. That was Fri. Night. Today is Monday.

What is the next text I send?
Or, call.
Should I keep waiting and see if she reaches out to me? Should I text today and set up date for today or future?

Here are two Ideas I had for text:

So we had a fun adventure. Now, let’s see if we can have fun doing nothing together. You and I, cup of warm coffee, excellent music and a drive to nowhere. Let’s say about 6ish. Matt can’t make it.

Vegas is a bit much for a first date and Mohegan is closer. Or, we could just do coffee, excellent music and a drive. Your pick. Let’s say around 6ish. Matt can’t make it. (we talked about going to Vegas that night instead of the city)

Impotant facts to consider. Yes, I am sure she is single. She said happily single but then later on talked about the kind of BF she might be looking for. Also, this girl thinks I am a player for sure. She knows about me talking to other women. I also shared with her in very limited detail about a recent heartbreak. She was in a LTR for 6 years. She is 26. I am 33. Go!

Thanks men.

You have a good start.. girls love that fairy tale first meeting. BUT calibrate yourself. Those texts sound like you've put way too much thought into having this magical first date.. and what's up with the Matt can't make it? Leave that out.

Just keep it simple, text her for a drink.. no elaborate details of warm coffees and star lit nights. If her interest is that high, she will be eager for the date.. then mack until she's on her back.

I'd recommend text her now, one line only...

"When are you free to meet? Coffee or drinks?"

Great job!!! You game this girl smitten and she's like putty in your hands right now.

Don't send those texts. They are way too try-hard. You want to put in minimal effort like you've been doing.

Don't waste your time thinking about of she'll reach out to you. She's a woman so most women are too scared to initiate.

Do you want to go to a certain place? If the answer is yes, them just invite her along with you. Maybe it's a baseball game or bowling or whatever. Don't do coffee. You already did drinks.

An action date is much better. Just say "Hey, xxxx. We're going to this place at xxxx time."

Yes, say it that way. Direct and without her consent. If she answers, then good.

If she declines but counters, good.

If she declines and doesn't counter, say "Cool
No problem." And move on.

salinechow said:

Here are two Ideas I had for text:

So we had a fun adventure. Now, let’s see if we can have fun doing nothing together. You and I, cup of warm coffee, excellent music and a drive to nowhere. Let’s say about 6ish. Matt can’t make it.

Vegas is a bit much for a first date and Mohegan is closer. Or, we could just do coffee, excellent music and a drive. Your pick. Let’s say around 6ish. Matt can’t make it. (we talked about going to Vegas that night instead of the city)

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I twitched as I read these. You do not have to bring her a silver platter, and explain in detail what's on them and if she likes it! Keep it as short as possible, as vague as possible and not in a form of a question. Her IL seems high, so you can't do much wrong, but wrongs do add up and so do rights so keep the rights count high.

Your mindset is wrong. You must not care what happens, if she's gone she's gone, plenty where that came from. You're making her special in your mind, because you've met in such a neat way. But that does not matter. The more it matters to you, the closer the dagger will get to your back, believe me.

So in effect, you don't care, but you'd like to see her again. You don't care, but you want to kiss her. You don't care, but you want to have sex with her. If you've succeeded in not caring three times, you'll succeed in getting what you wanted three times.


Get her out of your head. Shoot her a text tomorrow, or maybe better, call her for a date on the weekend. Then forget her until then.

Coulda f*cked her that night by the sounds of it.

She's waiting for you to text, which traditionally, you should first. But you could wait a week and she will eventually. Bet a grand that she texts back within half hour of yours. Take her out for a proper date. Alcohol. Not coffee.

Sounds like a winner. Keep us updated. Be cool brother.

Ok. Here is the text I sent. "I had a great time laughing with and getting to know you on our adventure Fri. Night. Lets meet up again tonight. Drinks or coffee around 7ish"

TheMonkeyKing wins a $1000 bucks because she texted me back in 25min.

Her responce" Hey (used my name), I had a great time as well, awesome way to start off the weekend! I cant meet tonight but rain check?

I waited an hour and said. "Funny it is actually raining for your "rain check" When were you thinking would be a better night?

Thank gosh I got talked out of those other texts, by you guys and all my friends as well. However, I had to soften the original a little bit becasue this girl is wary of me and I know it. She is casutious to be just another one of my girls. Also, she is a real genuine type. Also, I found out she used to be a heavy girl and has only recently been a HB8.5. So... I figure a little softer would be ok. I dont think she is too jaded yet.

Great! Seeing you as a player, I imagined she would be wary of you too. That's why in this case, I thought it was best to let her choose drinks or coffee to start. Her choice would give you a gauge of her comfort level, so you can start there. No reason to rush it, make her feel uncomfortable and lose a great possibility. I imagine she is as excited as you are. WTG!

salinechow said:

Ok. Here is the text I sent. "I had a great time laughing with and getting to know you on our adventure Fri. Night. Lets meet up again tonight. Drinks or coffee around 7ish"

TheMonkeyKing wins a $1000 bucks because she texted me back in 25min.

Her responce" Hey (used my name), I had a great time as well, awesome way to start off the weekend! I cant meet tonight but rain check?

I waited an hour and said. "Funny it is actually raining for your "rain check" When were you thinking would be a better night?

Thank gosh I got talked out of those other texts, by you guys and all my friends as well. However, I had to soften the original a little bit becasue this girl is wary of me and I know it. She is casutious to be just another one of my girls. Also, she is a real genuine type. Also, I found out she used to be a heavy girl and has only recently been a HB8.5. So... I figure a little softer would be ok. I dont think she is too jaded yet.

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Could really do with that $1K right now!

Let her make the next suggestion. She declined so it's now her call.

This is why I usually much prefer to ask a girl what her plans are for the week.

Either way, if she's actually interested she'll bite, and make sure you don't pvssy around on the date. Invite her for drinks, minimum kiss maximum bang.

salinechow said:

Ok. Here is the text I sent. "I had a great time laughing with and getting to know you on our adventure Fri. Night. Lets meet up again tonight. Drinks or coffee around 7ish"

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The first sentence is redundant information. If you want to see her again, you must have had a great time. I personally prefer to call them in the beginning of the week to set a date for friday, because the likelihood of them having plans so far ahead is quite small and assuming she doesn't have plans seems natural. Assuming she doesn't have anything planned for today is really a shot in the dark.

"Funny it is actually raining for your "rain check" When were you thinking would be a better night?

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A "no, I can't" is funny to you? I have an uneasy feeling sending the ball to her court and waiting until she makes a move, because then you will be the one saying OK. You should always strive to lead.

salinechow said:

this girl is wary of me and I know it. She is casutious to be just another one of my girls.
Also, she is a real genuine type. .

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how do you know she is wary of you?

what is a 'real, genuine type' when it is at home? don't be fooled. there is no such thing.

she didn't make a counter offer which suggests her IL is low. act accordingly and forget about her.

Firstly, never ask a girl to meet you the same night you sent the text. It is highly likely she will say no even if she likes you. You ask on the Monday and set for a Thursday. I also still think the text you sent was too eager. Create all the energy and chemistry in person but keep things understated in texts. This is a form of push pull.. where she feels you could walk away at ease.

You: Hey, fancy a drink Thursday?

Her: Yes
or
Her: Rain Check

You: Cool, meet at (venue) for 7.
or
You: Cool

That's it. Either you get to meet her with high value frame that never displayed an ounce of eagerness or you just wait to see if she counter offers. Neither option compromised your frame.

Well being to eager I think ruined it for 2 reasons. I didn’t get to see all the good advice here before I texted back. And...She never responded.

As has been said before, If I was Johnny Depp, or she thought I was the next love of her life she would have rescheduled or made it happen.

It is a shame to waste such a unique meeting circumstance and end up failing (possibly) through text. (I fVuckin hate this texting BS, it ruins me, it is so impersonal and left up to the reader to interpret without voice inflection and smiling and charm and kino.)

Whatever, I have only been really dating in any real way again for 2 months. Im going to take away the positives here. I executed to near perfection that night. I convinced (actually got her to offer) a HB8 to get of a train, get drinks, hang out and give me her # for another meeting. If she doesn’t want a repeat of fun and connection she is entitled to that for whatever her reasons are. Just like I am entitled to believe that maybe she is not a quality chick because of her writing me off for a bad text, or the age difference or whatever. (if that ends of being the reasons)

I am a great dude. Lots of fun, gentlemanly, emotionally warm and in great shape. If she isnt interested...her loss. She wasted her fairytale meeting. Ill make it happen again with someone else. Or, Ill f^ck a girl on Tinder. Whichever.

OK boys.. Lastly, here is the plan:

If I dont hear from her I will text her after Thanksgiving weekend. I have a few ideas but I am sure they are sh!t. Let me know. I am hoping though to have another chick on the line by then, but I lost a lot of plates this week. My fault really, and a few my choice as well. Fresh start I guess. Ill tell you this though, 38 days NC on my oneitis is exponentially easier when you are worrying about this HB8 and that HB6. Even the plates that fail are another min, hr, day not spent in the tar pits of lost love. Even failure is your friend when you are training to protect your heart. Again, I am so grateful for our community.

salinechow said:

(I fVuckin hate this texting BS, it ruins me, it is so impersonal and left up to the reader to interpret without voice inflection and smiling and charm and kino.)



If I dont hear from her I will text her after Thanksgiving weekend. I have a few ideas but I am sure they are sh!t.

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If you hate texting, why do you do it then? Yes, the ideas you have are sh!it, I can tell. How? Because you have ideas of what you are going to text her. There should just be one idea. Short as if each letter costs you 5$ and to the point, so that it cannot be misunderstood. "Hi! I'd like to meet up with you (or, I'd like to take you out) this ****day evening". No question asked, no explanation offered. Since it's not a question it won't be perceived as an "attack" that calls for resistance, since there is no explanation it raises curiosity and women are curious.

Don't text her again. She failed to respond to a direct question about meeting this guy she thought was so cool.
No answer is actually a very clear answer.