Thorninmyside said:
Recently I had a LDR end when my SO went back to a previous LDR. Huge surprise as IL was extreme, but it occurred to me that I've been the one investing most in the relationship. Total chump move on my part.
It occurred to me today that the the edge that the other dude had was investment. Hers. They have history, so if IL was equal when this douche started sniffing around again and made his move, I can easily see the girl saying to herself "we have so much history together". Plus, he always made her travel to him, not the other way around. Smart move I must say.
This happens in any relationship. Doesn't mater how far away it is. The more you put in, the less you get. The harder you work, the more you invest. The more you are doing, shows you are not in control. The person doing the least amount is the one in charge. Betas always put in more effort than a woman ever does. It's more likely that he dumped her and she went back to him. You will fail every time when you try to make a chick invest more into a relationship. Her feelings and attraction is not there. She should be investing more into it on her own. Even more so for an LDR. You should be putting in less than a chick. You can't have an LDR with a chick who has low IL. You won't get laid. You won't get what you want out of it. It won't work.
How far of an LDR are we talking about here?
Thorninmyside said:
So, for my education if I end up in another LDR, I want to know what specific things you can do in a LDR (exclusive or not), to build investment. It's obviously quite different to the things you can do in an everyday face to face relationship.
Some guys say to stay away from LDR's. I say that's lame.
If you know what you're doing, it works out very well. When you can get some good pvssy out of it, it's all worth it. :yes:
LDR's should be strictly used for fvck buddy relationships. Nothing else. Never invest too heavily into an LDR because it will bite you in the ass. Always put in the minimal effort. Make the chick come to see you as much as you can. She should be willing to come to you a lot early in the relationship. Chicks interest in LDR's will fade depending on the dude or what other dudes she has nearby. So, get the most out of it in the first few months.
LDR's are good because you can mix them in with your other plates. Sex is a given and you can use her for the whole weekend if you want. You need to be in contact more than a chick that lives close by. Don't go days without talking because she will have other dudes hitting her up. If you're silent, she will have those dudes to keep her company. Communication is important in an LDR so talk or text just about everyday or other day.
.
Don't let your LDR be your only chick. You're asking for trouble when you do that. Always have other chicks to date and bang besides her. Chicks in LDR's can easily lie and cheat on you. You're not around to know what's really going on. That's why you use her as much as you can in the beginning. The show is over if you get excuses, her refusing to come, or can sense low IL. You need to dump. That means she's found another dude close by. She's just waiting for the right time to dump you. You will have had your fun with her, but you will have other chicks to keep you occupied.
I've done a couple of LDR's and got over a year max with both. The chicks were cool and I was always doing less. I used them for weekends (or whenever) and just used them as long distance plates. Worked well for me and I got what I wanted out of it.
My friend had a relationship turn into an LDR. He had to move for work but it worked out for him. His girlfriend is great and they made it work. They are getting married in December. Knew a couple of other guys who had them. The chicks ended up cheating on both. They fvcked up because they were doing more and was the only chick they had. They invested in it too much. Which is why they both failed.
I had a chick come over last night who lives an hour away. We fvcked for a few hours and she ended up spending the night. She even made me an awesome breakfast this morning. I didn't have to pay one dime. She did all the driving and used up her gas.
Just don't invest too much into it and you should do good. I really wouldn't seek out an LTR because there are plenty of chicks close by. But when you're getting pvssy on command, then who cares how far it's coming. Right?
