This Forum

Lots of rancor around here these last couple of days. Just wanted to post some things people may not be thinking clearly about. Do you know how easy it is for a site to be labelled a "hate site" "hate group" "hate this or that" these days? Now let's say you happened to own an internet forum where slurs of whatever kind are tossed around and allowed over time. Next thing you know, YOUR site is on some SPLC list of "hatemonger" sites right there with kiddy porn, militias and conspiracy sites... making YOU look like some kind of freak at least and a criminal at most, you are then under federal scrutiny in every aspect of your life. Could get put out on AP, picked up by news outlets, and the next thing you know your site is mentioned on national news coverage or talk shows. Want that? Good for business? Of course it isn't. I sure don't want the member list of this forum being subpoenaed and my real name gets put on some FBI "hate group" list somewhere because there are slurs allowed on the board.

Is allowing people to post slurs worth that? I would advise clients to instaban anyone using any kinds of slurs or even implications of them against any group. Luckily the powers that be around here are more tolerant than I am (or their lawyers aren't as good ROFL).

As much as I agree with the advice given by certain posters and their posts, that slur stuff needs to go yesterday. It's only common sense in 2014. Be more considerate of the people who own this forum and the mods who volunteer time and don't force their hands when it's entirely unnecessary to use the slurs to make your point.

In comparison to other forums like LS and many gynocentric net spaces that are real brownshirt anonymous biased mod types of places, this forum is a real breath of fresh air. Appreciate that privilege here and keep things smooth. I understand if this gets deleted and even if I get infracted, but just wanted to get this out there because I think some members who have gotten bent out of shape aren't seeing the forest for the trees on this.

EDIT: Some may think this post is contradictory of my sh-t eating dog post, but if you think about it, it's really not. You can still scare the dog out of eating sh-t plenty well without causing problems with slurs and othe questionable kinds of speech.

dasein said:

Lots of rancor around here these last couple of days. Just wanted to post some things people may not be thinking clearly about. Do you know how easy it is for a site to be labelled a "hate site" "hate group" "hate this or that" these days? Now let's say you happened to own an internet forum where slurs of whatever kind are tossed around and allowed over time. Next thing you know, YOUR site is on some SPLC list of "hatemonger" sites right there with kiddy porn, militias and conspiracy sites... making YOU look like some kind of freak at least and a criminal at most, you are then under federal scrutiny in every aspect of your life. Could get put out on AP, picked up by news outlets, and the next thing you know your site is mentioned on national news coverage or talk shows. Want that? Good for business? Of course it isn't. I sure don't want the member list of this forum being subpoenaed and my real name gets put on some FBI "hate group" list somewhere because there are slurs allowed on the board.

Is allowing people to post slurs worth that? I would advise clients to instaban anyone using any kinds of slurs or even implications of them against any group. Luckily the powers that be around here are more tolerant than I am (or their lawyers aren't as good ROFL).

As much as I agree with the advice given by certain posters and their posts, that slur stuff needs to go yesterday. It's only common sense in 2014. Be more considerate of the people who own this forum and the mods who volunteer time and don't force their hands when it's entirely unnecessary to use the slurs to make your point.

In comparison to other forums like LS and many gynocentric net spaces that are real brownshirt anonymous biased mod types of places, this forum is a real breath of fresh air. Appreciate that privilege here and keep things smooth. I understand if this gets deleted and even if I get infracted, but just wanted to get this out there because I think some members who have gotten bent out of shape aren't seeing the forest for the trees on this.

EDIT: Some may think this post is contradictory of my sh-t eating dog post, but if you think about it, it's really not. You can still scare the dog out of eating sh-t plenty well without causing problems with slurs and othe questionable kinds of speech.

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I post on much worse forums than this. They talk about drugs, how to blow up things, stuff like that. It's not illegal to discuss things and there is nothing illegal with this site and there is nothing illegal about posting IP addresses. It's only illegal if you start saying "I'm going to do this, I'm going to to that". It's also illegal to allow drug trading in open forums but you can discuss whatever you want.

You give up your IP address when you register, some sites post everyone's IP address right under their avatar.

It's not illegal...

I think you're right about that. But there is a big difference between an actual arrest, versus just placing someone under electronic surveillance. They seem to be tracking just about everyone now, because it's so easy to do. I am sure Dasein is right about there being a lot of lists that no one wants to be on.

And none of that touches on civil liability. People sue each other over stupid sh!t all the time. A lot of the suits end in an "undisclosed settlement," so no one really knows the result.

Malice said:

It's only illegal if you start saying "I'm going to do this, I'm going to to that". It's also illegal to allow drug trading in open forums but you can discuss whatever you want.

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Illegality is not the point, how could you have misread my post so badly?

I agree with your post, but it's still disappointing to lose such valued members; political correctness be damned.

I think this recent PlayHer Man saga is just another example of what happens to all things, societies, etc. They start out good, grow, get diverse, then collapse. Most gangs even start out with good intentions, ie to protect each other. Then they turn into organized criminal enterprises, and eventually they all die. Always somebody bigger and better around the corner.

With some of the new trends and moderators I'm seeing around here......well, I just don't know. I will say this....this site, at some point, transformed from men improving themselves to bunch of anger, towards all things....politics, women, etc.

Who knows.

speed dawg said:

I think this recent PlayHer Man saga is just another example of what happens to all things, societies, etc. They start out good, grow, get diverse, then collapse. Most gangs even start out with good intentions, ie to protect each other. Then they turn into organized criminal enterprises, and eventually they all die. Always somebody bigger and better around the corner.

With some of the new trends and moderators I'm seeing around here......well, I just don't know. I will say this....this site, at some point, transformed from men improving themselves to bunch of anger, towards all things....politics, women, etc.

Who knows.

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You're right, but many times the anger is understandable and even justified. Sometimes, we can't vent our frustrations with our family, friends or co-workers. We need a place to go put it all down on paper, so to speak.

This forum is a great place for men to do that. It just so happens that this site is also about getting laid. Whoa, just got de ja vu. For real. That sh1t is always weird haha.

Many of the posters on this website don't listen to good advice. PHM, like burroughs before him, were great at getting through to people. Sure, they had a coarse way of doing it, but it worked. They changed many lives, I'm sure. I agreed with most of what they said, but I could never convey it in such a captivating manner.

Not singling you out, Speed, just using your post as an opportunty to vent.

Bible_Belt said:

It's not illegal...

I think you're right about that. But there is a big difference between an actual arrest, versus just placing someone under electronic surveillance. They seem to be tracking just about everyone now, because it's so easy to do. I am sure Dasein is right about there being a lot of lists that no one wants to be on.

And none of that touches on civil liability. People sue each other over stupid sh!t all the time. A lot of the suits end in an "undisclosed settlement," so no one really knows the result.

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I'm sure my site is under surveillance. In the drug forum there are always at least a hundred guests. I imagine they are the cops. Site has been there since 2009.

Guys, we mods are regular dudes who volunteer our time to moderate this forum. We don't have an agenda, we don't conspire and assemble all these covert machinations to oust one member or another. We all have lives and spend most of our time on our jobs, our women, and hobbies.

You're right, SoSuave HAS changed since the "good ol' days" when most of the content was about self-improvement and game advice. This is more a reflection of the forum population and internet game culture than the administration here. The rules, however, have not changed and we still have to keep the peace.

A men's forum is naturally going to attract dissenters, cynics, PUA haters, and all sorts of angry dudes who got dealt a short hand with women. This SHOULD be a safe place to vent and speak your mind. We have to intervene when guys start insulting other members, starting race/religion/political debates, or become a general nuisance that detracts from all the other positive advice given here.

Everyone has their opinions on the profanity ban, but it is the Admin's policy and all I can tell you is that it isn't changing anytime soon, so best to let it go. Dasein had a good point that in 2014 it isn't a bad idea to keep homophobic or racial slurs off a public website. We cant police everything but when we have a repeat offender who basically flips us the bird and refuses to tone down the slurs and insults, we have to give him the boot.

This forum is going to be what the members make it. If a bunch of whiny beta noobs gather around everyday and complain about this rule or that rule rather than go out and improve their game, the forum is going to take a general tone of loserness.

At the end of the day this is a small men's community where we discuss game, women, and life. You don't have to confine yourselves to just SoSuave, in fact I encourage you to branch out and visit other forums and read new material. Then come back and tell us what worked and what didn't. This forum needs more positive leaders, not angry laptop jockeys.

Colossus said:

You're right, SoSuave HAS changed since the "good ol' days" when most of the content was about self-improvement and game advice. This is more a reflection of the forum population and internet game culture than the administration here. The rules, however, have not changed and we still have to keep the peace.

This forum needs more positive leaders, not angry laptop jockeys.

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Agreed.

Positive Masculine Behavior > Negative Masculine Behavior

Let me ask you this Colossus:

Why do some of the moderators here feel it's necessary to lock and/or delete threads that have not broken any rules?

Then that said moderator is condescending to poster and orders him how he needs to think or feel about a certain situation.

The guys that will follow those orders without question are the beta sheep that you speak of. Not the other way around.

One of the problems you guys are running into is that, as of late, some of the moderators on here have not been showing respect to it's members.

Social_Leper said:

You can frame this however you want. Everyone who's been here long enough knows that most of the mods do have an agenda.

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Do you truly believe its "having an agenda" for simply following the duties of a moderator? Obviously certain members that break rules and disregard instructions to cease their actions that violate said rules, are going to be "phased out" and eliminated. If you disregard "warnings" then you get exactly whats coming to you. Its not rocket science. This is not "our forum". Someone lets us come here for free....and exchange ideas and have the opportunity to aid other men. I respect his right (and those who enforce it) to make whatever rules he wants. Quit being butthurt....and heres a suggestion. Maybe you could take over for PHM and continue his work of droning on about how sh1tty women are. There are quite a couple of drones who would gladly follow your every word and take it as truth on a whim.

Peaks&Valleys said:

Why do some of the moderators here feel it's necessary to lock and/or delete threads that have not broken any rules?

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Its in the rules. Reread them. They reserve the write to ban any member or delete message/threads. Why would you want 10s of threads talking about something so irrelevant? There was one thread that had several pages. The issue was addressed. Just because some drones dont like what happened...doesnt mean the rest of us have to listen and see multiple threads with men whining like chumps. Forget about it. Either members can get over it and continue to contribute and/or browse....or they can get lost.

TheException said:

Its in the rules. Reread them. They reserve the write to ban any member or delete message/threads. Why would you want 10s of threads talking about something so irrelevant? There was one thread that had several pages. The issue was addressed. Just because some drones dont like what happened...doesnt mean the rest of us have to listen and see multiple threads with men whining like chumps. Forget about it. Either members can get over it and continue to contribute and/or browse....or they can get lost.

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I'm not speaking of one particular incident, I'm speaking of a few of them. Irrelevant to you, relevant to some. That's the point. Just because you don't care, doesn't mean other posters feel the same way you do. We are not drones here.

Besides, maybe you should take a look at one of the situations I'm referring to. I'd post the other few, but the threads were erased, one of them being a respectful thread written on my part, paying tribute to a recently banned long standing member of this community.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=212472

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=2122008&postcount=6

This site is made for men. If you can't take an insult, how the fvck are you going to take rejection? We don't need men to save other men from hurt feelings. betheman was right, white knight dollars yall. If you're butthurt by letters, then maybe it's time to GTFO.

Peaks&Valleys said:

I'm not speaking of one particular incident, I'm speaking of a few of them. Irrelevant to you, relevant to some. That's the point. Just because you don't care, doesn't mean other posters feel the same way you do. We are not drones here.

Besides, maybe you should take a look at one of the situations I'm referring to. I'd post the other few, but the threads were erased, one of them being a respectful thread written on my part, paying tribute to a recently banned long standing member of this community.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=212472

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=2122008&postcount=6

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I was all for that incident and I even replied in that thread. The mods have since done a good job of answering those concerns.

samspade said:

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.

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You're getting it all wrong Sam. You respect me, I respect you. That's the point I'm trying to make. If Mods want to complain about posters, maybe they should look at there own attitudes towards posters lately.

Not allowing posters to discuss a banned member is on the same lines as a dictatorship.

And if some of the mods think that's going to fly, with some of the members we have on this site, then they have their head jammed securely up their a$$.

With all of the changes to the standard lately, what's the rules on banned members? Can we mention them in posts? Are we allowed to quote them? Comment in their old threads? Can we even mention their name???

Or are these all bannable offenses and/or immediate thread closure and/or thread erasure?

I'm with Samsade


think about this for a second. Jophil DIED as a member of this forum and there were not as many threads started about him as there have been in the last 5 days about PHM.


And PHM could not hold Jophil's jock-strap in virtually any facet of gaming.


(RIP Jophil ).

PHM has moved on. it's life. **** happens. Quite frankly if you care that much about another dude on a forum you need to reevaluate your priorities for being here.


The mod's were 100% correct, they just won't come out and say what they really want to say becuase it would cause an "uprising" lol. The site was losing it's way, it's message. The site stopped being about how to get better with women and started being too much about what's wrong with women and how men are better than women.

That's not the message of the site. Guys come here becuase they want to be successful with the opposite sex, not to spite the opposite sex, not to hate the opposite sex, not to be bitter against the opposite sex. Guys come here to add more enjoyment to their lives, not to add bitterness to it, not to add anger to it, not even to really understand "the world for the way it "really" is"

This site, has a very clear objective. I want to learn how to date hot women lol. I want to learn how to have sex with hot women. Not why do hot women suck. Not why the world favors hot women. Not why hot women aren't worth it. Not why the court systems favor hot women lol.

And in true 48 laws of power (Strike the Shepherd and the sheep will scatter),. banning PHM has pretty much set the lemmings that eat that type of stuff up right behind him, well on the way to cleaning the site up.



Having sex with hot women is very possible. and we are here, to talk about that. To show you what you have to do to be able to do this. To show you how to deal with them once you have sex with them. To show you how to even manage more than one of them!

Guys talk **** about me, guess what, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN lol. i'm not here to impress you. i'm here to help guys have sex with hot women. that is the only thing i care about in regards to this forum, helping guys bang hot women. you can keep all the other ****, all the other drama, all the other games. all of the other stuff takes a back seat to helping guys have sex with hot women.

And guess what, being able to have a conversation with another person you disagree with and not calling them a faggot, is a pretty important requirement to being mature enough to handle hot women.


Field Reports, dealing with real life situations with real life girls, sellf improvement, finances / gym, that is the type of stuff we should be talking about.

TheException said:

Do you truly believe its "having an agenda" for simply following the duties of a moderator? Obviously certain members that break rules and disregard instructions to cease their actions that violate said rules, are going to be "phased out" and eliminated. If you disregard "warnings" then you get exactly whats coming to you. Its not rocket science. This is not "our forum". Someone lets us come here for free....and exchange ideas and have the opportunity to aid other men. I respect his right (and those who enforce it) to make whatever rules he wants. Quit being butthurt....and heres a suggestion. Maybe you could take over for PHM and continue his work of droning on about how sh1tty women are. There are quite a couple of drones who would gladly follow your every word and take it as truth on a whim.

Its in the rules. Reread them. They reserve the write to ban any member or delete message/threads. Why would you want 10s of threads talking about something so irrelevant? There was one thread that had several pages. The issue was addressed. Just because some drones dont like what happened...doesnt mean the rest of us have to listen and see multiple threads with men whining like chumps. Forget about it. Either members can get over it and continue to contribute and/or browse....or they can get lost.

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This.

QFT.

Peaks&Valleys said:

I'm not speaking of one particular incident, I'm speaking of a few of them. Irrelevant to you, relevant to some. That's the point. Just because you don't care, doesn't mean other posters feel the same way you do. We are not drones here.

Besides, maybe you should take a look at one of the situations I'm referring to. I'd post the other few, but the threads were erased, one of them being a respectful thread written on my part, paying tribute to a recently banned long standing member of this community.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=212472

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=2122008&postcount=6

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I thought you said you were going to refrain from posting here any longer? lol

Anyways, I think it was explained quite clearly why Rex's threads were being closed at the time. Its because the topic he was trying to discuss was merely turning into a flame war between him and another poster on this board. It was quite obvious.

I dont see how anyone missed that. People seem incapable of respecting the ongoing effort to clean up the unnecessary flaming on this board.

BeDJ said:

This site is made for men. If you can't take an insult, how the fvck are you going to take rejection? We don't need men to save other men from hurt feelings. betheman was right, white knight dollars yall. If you're butthurt by letters, then maybe it's time to GTFO.

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I keep saying this, whats with the double standard regarding insults? I see dudes whining about the need to ban certain posters when they "shame" and insult others...yet its ok when certain posters do the same thing?

How about we behave like grown men and leave that crap to the children.

The threads kept getting locked. That's why new ones kept popping up.

The mods were dictating what we could talk about. And telling us how to react to it.

I don't see why that's so difficult to understand.

I never thought that's what this website was about.

Peaks&Valleys said:

The threads kept getting locked. That's why new ones kept popping up.

The mods were dictating what we could talk about. And telling us how to react to it.

I don't see why that's so difficult to understand.

I never thought that's what this website was about.

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New threads were being created even after there was a main thread discussing PHMs ban. Why does there need to be multiple threads on the topic?

And part of the reason that main thread was closed was because people starting behaving in the flaming way that got PHM banned in the first place. Nevermind the fact that sock accounts were being created to open new threads or flame members and mods.

Did everyone miss all of that? The mods let people talk for several pages, but the disrespect was getting out of hand. Dont blame them because people cant discuss things like mature adults. I long ago voiced my displeasure with how I felt some mods behaved at that time in the past, yet I was ridiculed and insulted for what I said.

But now the same people who trolled me about my opinions, are complaining about the same thing. Except this time everyone is in a tizzy over a legitimate banning and closure of disruptive or repetitive threads. Really?