Real dates vs. non-dates

So one of the big things I've garnered from this stuff is that you should ask women on non-dates. Meaning low-pressure meetups you were going to anyway and she should "tag-along" or something like that.

However, I have heard advice that you should ask women on an actual date. I've heard it on here and in real life, from both women and men. This way she knows your intentions and doesn't automatically place you in the friend zone.

For instance, you could ask a girl on a tennis date since you find out you both play tennis. You both can have fun, you can tease her, whatever. But since it's a non-date, a woman just perceives this as friends having fun or hanging out. In other words, she's more likely to meet up with you, but less likely to perceive you romantically.

What's the verdict on this?

To be honest, I like just meeting up for drinks the first couple meet ups. It's low pressure and you can apply kino, etc.

Friday and Saturday evenings are always perceived to be 'dating' commodity time zones.

It is more defined by the day of the week and day/night in determining the seriousness of the meeting.

When a woman gives up a Saturday night for you, that is serious precious commodity she is giving away to you.

Exodus

I think this is one of those things that shouldn't be a hard and fast rule. It should depend on a number of factors: What your intentions are, how well you know her, your interest levels, how serious you are, etc.

GotED? said:

Friday and Saturday evenings are always perceived to be 'dating' commodity time zones.

It is more defined by the day of the week and day/night in determining the seriousness of the meeting.

When a woman gives up a Saturday night for you, that is serious precious commodity she is giving away to you.

Exodus

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But see I've gone for drinks one-on-one with women on these days who were just looking for company because their boyfriends were away (in my AFC past). This is actually what made me snap because I realized they assumed I had nothing else to do on these days except to give them "company".

teddy said:

But see I've gone for drinks one-on-one with women on these days who were just looking for company because their boyfriends were away (in my AFC past). This is actually what made me snap because I realized they assumed I had nothing else to do on these days except to give them "company".

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Well you said it was your AFC past, right??

Hopefully now you have learned to QUALIFY women that you spend your energy on and are only 100% interested in you.

You are the prize. Show interest, but never chase.

Be well.

Exodus

Pandering is for faggots. How many times have I said this?

Look.. a man should do whatever the f*ck he wants. If the woman is attracted she will go along with it.

If you are already trying to mold yourself for a woman you haven't even been out with.. then you've already lost the game. Her interest should always be higher than yours. ALWAYS.

You should be spinning plates and cherry picking the women worthy of your time. Not groveling and scraping to "impress" ONE dumb wh0re. :crackup:

PlayHer Man said:

Pandering is for faggots. How many times have I said this?

Look.. a man should do whatever the f*ck he wants. If the woman is attracted she will go along with it.

If you are already trying to mold yourself for a woman you haven't even been out with.. then you've already lost the game. Her interest should always be higher than yours. ALWAYS.

You should be spinning plates and cherry picking the women worthy of your time. Not groveling and scraping to "impress" ONE dumb wh0re. :crackup:

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Unfortunately most guys on here aren't good looking enough to be choosy. They might get one number in three months. So they have to pursue it or else they really won't have a chance. I think you are underestimating how hard it is to attract women if you aren't at least a 7 in looks.

You make sure it's a date. You are correct about cute little meet ups that to her is only a fun little thing to do with you, then she goes and gets railed by her fückbuddy that was sleeping on the couch and drinking Pepsi all afternoon.

Make sure it is a date. Doing friendly things will make you her girlfriend with a penis. Don't FriendZone yourself.

Be bold and tell her to go out with you on a Saturday night for a few drinks. Worse thing she says no, and you move along. That's a better situation than being confused and frustrated. That's how you grow a mangina, son!

VladPatton said:

You make sure it's a date. You are correct about cute little meet ups that to her is only a fun little thing to do with you, then she goes and gets railed by her fückbuddy that was sleeping on the couch and drinking Pepsi all afternoon.

Make sure it is a date. Doing friendly things will make you her girlfriend with a penis. Don't FriendZone yourself.

Be bold and tell her to go out with you on a Saturday night for a few drinks. Worse thing she says no, and you move along. That's a better situation than being confused and frustrated. That's how you grow a mangina, son!

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But the key here is....do you call it a date?

Again, I've done this before, but sometimes women will just say "well, I always get drinks with my guy friends" or something like that. They can still perceive it as a friendly meet up, even if it is drinks Saturday night. The reason I'm so persistent about this is because this has happened to me before.

The reason you go right to a specific date for a specific time is that you don't have the time to sit around "hanging out" with women. Oh... you -do- have the time? Then work on that first until you don't have so much free time. This will also clear up their "is it a date or not?" BS. Of course it's a date, that's what adult men do, ask adult women out for a specific plan. And they know full well when a man is asking them out, they just exercise their prerogative to play their prissy rationalization s-test games that would get a man's ass kicked. Don't play their game, give them complete clarity and scarcity in a definite way. If you ask them the right way, they will never have any doubt that they are being asked out.

I always ask them out for Mon-Wed night for the first several dates, hotter they are the earlier and once I ask one out for a particular night, she's that night every week. They aren't getting my precious weekend time and this always works out IME because they think that I am dating others on the weekends and I may be or may not be. Flips their "competition with other women knob" well and good. Nothing like watching a 9-10 fold up like a lawnchair with psychic angst upon being asked out for... Tuesday... every week by a guy they are dating and sleeping with. It causes complete cognitive dissonance in them in a good way for you. Once you experience this effect, you will never lead with weekend dates again until they really earn your weekend time. Plus on weeknights, you can still f-ck but can break free much easier afterwards (rough day tomorrow LOL) which you should always be doing no matter how much they beg and whine until they are flooded with oxytocin and you have complete upper hand. Even then don't hang around too long after sex, never ever for those interminable Sunday "spend the day together" mankillers (yeah I've made that mistake many times in the past together with every other mistake you can imagine).

One other thing, women today are easier to f on early weeknights because they are 1. lonely from the weekend (attention wh0re deficit disorder AWDD) already and most of them incapable of existing alone without boiling over into neurosis; 2. trying to get whatever bad decisions they made on the weekend out of their system, and unlike those bad decisions you are at least taking them out on a date, so can be rationalized into the "quasi bF that absolves away all recent sexual sins with his quasi BF d-ck." It's a strange sounding dynamic but I swear it works, has for me for a long time; and 3. weekend level guard is not up.

Maybe she wants to get laid - you are just too naive.

Remember it is a woman's action that counts, not what she spouts off having a boyfriend in your face.

I personally wouldn't mess with b!tvhes disloyal to their man.

You just failed to escalate or have no clue how to read a woman's intentions (which takes a lifetime of DJing)

Be well

Exodus

GotED? said:

Maybe she wants to get laid - you are just too naive.

Remember it is a woman's action that counts, not what she spouts off having a boyfriend in your face.

I personally wouldn't mess with b!tvhes disloyal to their man.

You just failed to escalate or have no clue how to read a woman's intentions (which takes a lifetime of DJing)

Be well

Exodus

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Maybe, but for a guy that's starting out it's far easier to be confident you're reading a woman's signals correctly when she's single than when you know she's in a LTR, especially with all the stuff I've read about Surrogate Boyfriends.

skinnyguy said:

Unfortunately most guys on here aren't good looking enough to be choosy. They might get one number in three months. So they have to pursue it or else they really won't have a chance. I think you are underestimating how hard it is to attract women if you aren't at least a 7 in looks.

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No Skinny!

You were in such a good way! It seemed that you were slowly absorbing the bitter red pill.

This proves you haven't yet! You are still thinking about looks, when your looks only affect how you view yourself. And how you view yourself is how you present yourself to the world!

If you are not the most beautiful piece of art, improve other areas. Hit the f*king gym, study and work a lot so you can have a better social life. If you keep blaming your genetics you will never be able to take the next step!

Some dude who consider himself ugly, is only getting one number per 3 months, because he is falling short of actually crash and burn SEVERAL times until he 'gets it'

I know a dude who is really short, almost a dwarf. He is 1,53m. I don't know how short that is in feet, but that is short! And to top that, he is not good looking at all!

Besides all that, he is the guy that f*cks more women that I have ever met. Because what he don't have in looks or size, he makes up with great sense of humour, like those guys it is amazing to be around, and he is f*cking Jacked!

Last time I saw him we were at a college street party, we said hello to each other, he then vanished, came back 15 minutes later and told me, I've just spent this last 15 minutes f*cking that chick (HB8,5 5'7)

Anyway, I hope that with a little more time, you also get this!

Cheers!

Lotus Effect said:

No Skinny!

You were in such a good way! It seemed that you were slowly absorbing the bitter red pill.

This proves you haven't yet! You are still thinking about looks, when your looks only affect how you view yourself. And how you view yourself is how you present yourself to the world!

If you are not the most beautiful piece of art, improve other areas. Hit the f*king gym, study and work a lot so you can have a better social life. If you keep blaming your genetics you will never be able to take the next step!

Some dude who consider himself ugly, is only getting one number per 3 months, because he is falling short of actually crash and burn SEVERAL times until he 'gets it'

I know a dude who is really short, almost a dwarf. He is 1,53m. I don't know how short that is in feet, but that is short! And to top that, he is not good looking at all!

Besides all that, he is the guy that f*cks more women that I have ever met. Because what he don't have in looks or size, he makes up with great sense of humour, like those guys it is amazing to be around, and he is f*cking Jacked!

Last time I saw him we were at a college street party, we said hello to each other, he then vanished, came back 15 minutes later and told me, I've just spent this last 15 minutes f*cking that chick (HB8,5 5'7)

Anyway, I hope that with a little more time, you also get this!

Cheers!

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If you respond with something about "some guy" you know who is short and gets laid, that doesn't disprove my point because for the majority of guys I'm still correct. I'm not going to swallow the "Red pill" because I'm not a conformist. Only guys who can't think for themselves do that.

skinnyguy said:

If you respond with something about "some guy" you know who is short and gets laid, that doesn't disprove my point because for the majority of guys I'm still correct. I'm not going to swallow the "Red pill" because I'm not a conformist. Only guys who can't think for themselves do that.

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Don't be stubborn mate!

Anyway, I know myself!

I was terrible with women through my whole life, then I met game in 2009, I got fairly good, but not as good as I am now, and not even nearly as good as I know I will become.

Then I had drug problems, unlearned everything, got out of it, and got a girlfriend shortly afterwards. Complete AFCdom.

Got ditched a year a half later, and landed here! Now six months from that, I'm becoming really good at gaming women. And it is not because I'm older, or wiser. Or even good looking. It is because I changed my mentality from negative to positive. I decided that the time for me being a whiny self loathing chump was over. Joined gym, started meditating... you know the drill!

So I am fairly short 5'7, I am ok on a looks scale. And I am doing pretty well right now. Something around 6 plates spinning. All above HB8, and one HB10!

It is what you do with what you have that counts. Not what you think or say!

The majority of the guys are still getting one number out of three months because they believe things will magically happen to them. That the world owes them something. As I've said on another post. Nobody is going to give you squat! There is no hot chick waiting for you on a Silver Platter. And if you believe that, as the vast majority of guys, then you are the conformist!

So no, I'm not a conformist mate. I am a Positivist!

skinnyguy said:

If you respond with something about "some guy" you know who is short and gets laid, that doesn't disprove my point because for the majority of guys I'm still correct. I'm not going to swallow the "Red pill" because I'm not a conformist. Only guys who can't think for themselves do that.

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So why are you on a site that preaches ideas and values you don't believe in or support? Why are you here?

If you're not here to teach and you're not here to learn.. then you're just here to b!tch, complain and be a pain in the ass.

Talk about a skinny hijacked thread

teddy said:

But the key here is....do you call it a date?

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Generally speaking, yes you do call it a date. Go after what you want. Are you afraid she wont like you unless you can somehow fool her into going? Is she really THAT important?


The problem is the word date conjures up a lot of stressful ideas and expectations. Even I would feel stressed if a girl I liked said excitedly "hey, lets go on a date!". Already sounds like a relationship to me..

I follow a slightly different format that gets the point across more clearly.

"Hey your cute" OR "Are you single?"

<positive response>

"lets go out to such and such, when are you free? "

<organise yourselves somewhat, get the number, get out and set up specific details later>


Your interest IN HER should be clear, not that you are looking to be serious right now. I think this is a minor point though, if your tonality and energy is obviously causal than you can ask directly for a date or whatever. A lot of this comes down to HOW you said it and not WHAT words you used.

Girls dont 'tag along' with me. This is setting yourself up for more **** tests, anxious confusion on her part, friend zone and possible friend shields tagging along. Dont pander and play games life is too short.