Why are you not using Tinder?

Seriously, this app is a gold mine! Tons of hot girls and guaranteed numbers with little effort. For the uninitiated, Tinder is a dating app for Android and iOS that uses your Facebook account to match you with other Tinder users. It's that simple. When you open the app, you get a series of pictures of "possible matches" and you either swipe left for "nope" or right for "like". It's a basic concept of hot or not. If you "like" a girl and she "likes" you back, you are then allowed to message each other.

I find Tinder to be better than OKCupid and POF because of several reasons:

1) You can't message a girl until you both "like" each other. Just like I mentioned earlier. So why is this an advantage? For one, it eliminates a high chance of rejection and time wasting because you're only going after girls that definitely or to some degree find you attractive. They have basically said "Hey, I'm interested in you. Talk to me". Unlike other dating sites whereby it's all a huge gamble of if she'll even respond to your message. If she even does, you're probably dealing with someone who's just being polite by responding, an attention wh0re, fake account or a possible flake. It doesn't mean that those don't exist on Tinder but in my time using it. I've only met ONE flake ever and that was because she traveled out of the country.

2) It eliminates the creep factor for many girls. Girls feel more comfortable using the app because only those they find attractive are able to talk to them. Therefore they are less likely to be bombarded by creeps, weirdos, shut ins, d!ck pics etc. I find that the girls here are more relaxed, comfortable and at ease rather than tense and alert. It leads on to my third reason.

3) There are more attractive girls. Due to girls feel comfortable using it, there are more regular and thus attractive girls using it compared to POF and OKC. Fewer mega land whales, baggage carriers, jaded ex-slvts etc. Again, I'm not saying that those don't exist on Tinder but the amount of really beautiful girls I've seen on here is ridiculous. One possible reason for this is in my next reason.

4) Barrier of entry is low. All you need is a Facebook account and an ounce of brain matter to write two sentences. That's it. For some people, the Facebook account feature might be a deal breaker. All I did was create a Facebook account just to be able to log in and uploaded about four pictures. I didn't bother with adding friends or any of that garbage. Some rumors I've heard is that Tinder finds new girls for you based on your mutual friends. I don't know how true this is but I've gotten matched with a lot of girls and it's not even a "proper" Facebook account so...

5) Because the barrier to entry is low, profiles are short and simple. This keeps the mystery for guys because she can't read all about you through the multiple quiz questions that OKCupid forces you to take or the lengthy profile and chemistry questions that POF encourages you to fill out or take. Girls are purely interested in you for your looks. That's about it. For the guys looking purely for sex, there are even a number of methods you can use to determine if the girl is DTF that very day or night.

Your mileage may vary based on these five reasons due to your location, age and of course how attractive you are. I live close to one of the biggest college campuses in the U.S. I'm in my early twenties and I'm not the hottest guy but I'm not the ugliest guy either. Whenever I'm free, I'll just open it up and swipe "like" on every picture without even looking just to get a few matches. From there I use a selection process on who I actually want to talk to. Since joining about a month ago, I've lost track of the numbers I've pulled but I'd say it's about twenty-something. Obviously, I can't date them all due to time constraints but so far, I've f-closed about eleven of them.

Seriously, Tinder is set up in such a way that you have to be extremely stupid or have really terrible game that girls who find you attractive get turned off. If I can do it, I'm sure a number of more attractive guys out there who are curious can definitely do it.

Whatever happened to growing a pair and cold approaching? Seems like many users on here use online crap as a crutch.

Vice said:

Whatever happened to growing a pair and cold approaching? Seems like many users on here use online crap as a crutch.

Click to expand...

This. These threads about why the girl didn't tinder text me back me f*ckin sick. Go to the bar with your buddies, join a club, team, group, volunteer, bang girls in your social circle and expand. A dude sitting on his computer or iphone trying to pull chicks using desperate apps is weak as f*ck.

Online dating is an augment to real life interactions. That is all.

HedoRick said:

Online dating is an augment to real life interactions. That is all.

Click to expand...

This CAN be true, but I've seen too many guys use it as their main source.

However, there ARE some factors that might make this an attractive option (busy lifestyle, transient lifestyle, small population area, etc.) but by no means should this be used frequently in an area with more than 100,000 people.

Besides, a month of cold approaching is equal to YEARS of online pandering.

No need to bite my head off, guys. I was just offering some tips for potential or existing Tinder users. If cold approach, day game, night game, online game, space game or whatever is your thing then more grease to your elbow.

next to it the girl will check your lulu profile, before she consider to answer you or not.

El Payaso said:

No need to bite my head off, guys. I was just offering some tips for potential or existing Tinder users. If cold approach, day game, night game, online game, space game or whatever is your thing then more grease to your elbow.

Click to expand...

How do you even pull on one of these sites? I decided to make an account just to get some extra action and I having no success. I'm by no means a bad looking guy but the only girl that hit me up on POF is a straight beluga whale. I like every girl's picture on Tinder and I didn't get any hits lol. I'm just going to stick to cold approaching.

TheCleanPleb said:

How do you even pull on one of these sites? I decided to make an account just to get some extra action and I having no success. I'm by no means a bad looking guy but the only girl that hit me up on POF is a straight beluga whale. I like every girl's picture on Tinder and I didn't get any hits lol. I'm just going to stick to cold approaching.

Click to expand...

You don't have to reveal your location to me but if you did, that would be helpful.

If you just set up an account, you might want to check your settings. Tinder finds girls based on your current location and by default, it is set to a 2 mile radius (if I remember correctly) which is incredibly limiting.

I set mine to a 30 mile radius and increased the age range to 18-30. By default, the max age is set to your own age.

So yeah, take a look at your settings and see if you can fix them.

I typically just swipe "like" on each girl that comes up. It doesn't matter what she looks like. When I start getting matches, I can then select who I want or don't want to message. Since you're new, give the system a few days to push your profile out to other phones. In a few days, you should be getting lots of matches.

I can't see tinder working to my advantage because I rely on my group dynamics skills rather than on my looks, which barely seem to matter now given the style of game I play. Plus I find it more efficient to get a group of people around me so that I can choose the best girl more easily.

I can see how it would work for good looking guys though. Each person should play the game to his best advantage.

I'll have to see if I can match the OP's extremely impressive rate of 11 girls in a month. My rate limiting step seems to be the 7+ hour comfort requirement for cute girls who are not just DTF, which effectively limits me to one girl every 3-5 days. If I went for DTF only I might be able to reduce this.

I'm decent looking ... And i get a ton of matches on there. I'm centered between Baltimore and Philadelphia though (not to mention 3-4 smallers cities in a 100 mile raduis) so I always have excess women to pick from on any dating site/app.

The problem for me is not matches - it's that women on there have very short conversations and then dissapear (many of these women OPEN ME after we get matched.) They seem to lack personality and flirting ability/desire.

I've had tons of great interactions on POF and OKC that led to same night bangs. I haven't had one good interaction yet on tinder; and after a week - still haven't met anyone.

It's a shame though. All these girls I'm matching with are young (18-23), childless, and (mostly) very hot. Like... They'd be among the top girls looks wise, and getting 200 messages a hour if they were on POF...

Vice said:

Whatever happened to growing a pair and cold approaching? Seems like many users on here use online crap as a crutch.

Click to expand...

It all depends why you're in it. If you're out to impress your male buddies and build your reputation on forums, then you're right, but if you're out to get laid, date and meet new women, it doesn't really matter how you meet them as long as it works.

Ive started using it, but no real results as of yet. I think part of it is my picture. I only have one up, and im an attractive guy, but i dont think it showcases me that well.

Any tips for openers and how to progress to meeting up? About how many messages do you send back and forth before asking for the number? and i read someone saying they just send "here txt me at ***-***-****, it's easier". Would you recommend giving them your number this way, or asking for theirs?

one opener i've found to work well (at least so far) is yelling their name. going "Allison!" or "Becky!" It's high energy, more interesting than the typical "hi" or "whats up", yet isnt try hard like some of those complicated cheesy openers people use. i'm going to try it out more and let you know the response rate. So far it's like 100% and they always yell back "Gravityeyelids!" or "Gravityeyelids! Whats up!"

bukowski_merit said:

I'm decent looking ... And i get a ton of matches on there. I'm centered between Baltimore and Philadelphia though (not to mention 3-4 smallers cities in a 100 mile raduis) so I always have excess women to pick from on any dating site/app.

The problem for me is not matches - it's that women on there have very short conversations and then dissapear (many of these women OPEN ME after we get matched.) They seem to lack personality and flirting ability/desire.

I've had tons of great interactions on POF and OKC that led to same night bangs. I haven't had one good interaction yet on tinder; and after a week - still haven't met anyone.

It's a shame though. All these girls I'm matching with are young (18-23), childless, and (mostly) very hot. Like... They'd be among the top girls looks wise, and getting 200 messages a hour if they were on POF...

Click to expand...

I think you might be reading too much into what tinder is for these girls. They probably don't lack personality and they probably know how to flirt and do have desires. But let's be honest, how much do you think they could POSSIBLY care about 100 random joe blows? They don't even have to put in any effort so half the time they're not going to unless their interest level is so high GENERALLY in finding something that they want(a quick bone, someone to pay for dinner, etc).

thatfeel said:

I think you might be reading too much into what tinder is for these girls. They probably don't lack personality and they probably know how to flirt and do have desires. But let's be honest, how much do you think they could POSSIBLY care about 100 random joe blows? They don't even have to put in any effort so half the time they're not going to unless their interest level is so high GENERALLY in finding something that they want(a quick bone, someone to pay for dinner, etc).

Click to expand...

Perhaps, but what's different from tinder girls getting hit on by 100 random joe blows? And a POF/OKC/Match girl getting hit on by 100 random joe blows? I'd guess the Tinder girl would be more welcoming to it since she's preselecting us.

I have no issues firing up POF or OKC tonight and finding women who are willing to talk and eventually meet up and bang. It's easy on there. But tinder; it's like im pulling teeth to get a conversation going.


Tinder reminds me a lot of Skout (where it's also hard to get a decent conversation going). Maybe it could be the use of chat over email? Skout is also chat based...

I like to know the girl I'm meeting and me already have some form of rapport; especially in flirting area. This makes same night bangs simple... And because of the way I do things - I have very few failed dates.

That's mostly because of my screening process.

If a woman won't participate in it - then we both aren't going to get anywhere. Not giving up on it though.

Any older guys in their 40s using Tinder yet? Or is mainly a teen early 20s thing???

Just wondering?

bukowski_merit said:

Perhaps, but what's different from tinder girls getting hit on by 100 random joe blows? And a POF/OKC/Match girl getting hit on by 100 random joe blows? I'd guess the Tinder girl would be more welcoming to it since she's preselecting us.

I have no issues firing up POF or OKC tonight and finding women who are willing to talk and eventually meet up and bang. It's easy on there. But tinder; it's like im pulling teeth to get a conversation going.


Tinder reminds me a lot of Skout (where it's also hard to get a decent conversation going). Maybe it could be the use of chat over email? Skout is also chat based...

I like to know the girl I'm meeting and me already have some form of rapport; especially in flirting area. This makes same night bangs simple... And because of the way I do things - I have very few failed dates.

That's mostly because of my screening process.

If a woman won't participate in it - then we both aren't going to get anywhere. Not giving up on it though.

Click to expand...

The good thing about tinder is that its much more socially acceptable than POF/OKC. I'm in college and people regard online dating as kind of pathetic and only girls that are unattractive go on there. On the other hand, all the sororities are on tinder, and while they do view it as kind of a joke (probably just to avoid being judged by other girls if they really do use tinder) to just get validation, you CAN find and meet up with some very decent girls. Theres not many 10's (at least that are willing to meet up), but there are TONS and TONS of solid 7's or 8's, at least on my college campus

Big Nuts said:

Any older guys in their 40s using Tinder yet? Or is mainly a teen early 20s thing???

Just wondering?

Click to expand...

There are a lot younger chicks. A lot. I set my age range to cast a wide net, 22 to 45. and about 20% are 22, seriously. Rarely any cougars...at all. maybe 1 out of 30 are over 40. It's pretty good. Unfortunatley though, like mentioned above, it's such an easy app to download and start using, virtually like 3 minutes, that I don't think a lot of the users on there are serious about it. One girl I was talking to signed up only because her and her friends were playing a drinking game that involved the app, whatever. I got her number and she semi-flaked on me.

to Bukowski, I had one on the hook last weekend, for a same day bang. She reminded me exactly like a POF chick. She messaged me first, she didn't look all that great in her profile pics so, after a few messages I asked if she had any more pics, she offered up her phone # and started sending unsolicited bra and underwear shots. Which, in all actuality, were really about 10 times better than her other pics (even her face looked a lot better). Of course after that, my interest level did a 180. I actually could have went to her place but logistics didn't work out. Plus, I was seriously concerned for my health and well being considering, not only was she acting like a sloot, she looked like one as well haha. But....she was sexy as all hell, so I was little torn

The good thing about tinder is that its much more socially acceptable than POF/OKC. I'm in college and people regard online dating as kind of pathetic and only girls that are unattractive go on there. On the other hand, all the sororities are on tinder, and while they do view it as kind of a joke (probably just to avoid being judged by other girls if they really do use tinder) to just get validation, you CAN find and meet up with some very decent girls. Theres not many 10's (at least that are willing to meet up), but there are TONS and TONS of solid 7's or 8's, at least on my college campus

Click to expand...

Yes, if you're comparing it to POF, it's like night and day if quality's concerned. My last dating site I had been on was POF, so my expectations weren't that high when I initially signed up, which is why I was pretty shocked at the talent that's on there.

bukowski_merit said:

I'm decent looking ... And i get a ton of matches on there. I'm centered between Baltimore and Philadelphia though (not to mention 3-4 smallers cities in a 100 mile raduis) so I always have excess women to pick from on any dating site/app.

The problem for me is not matches - it's that women on there have very short conversations and then dissapear (many of these women OPEN ME after we get matched.) They seem to lack personality and flirting ability/desire.

I've had tons of great interactions on POF and OKC that led to same night bangs. I haven't had one good interaction yet on tinder; and after a week - still haven't met anyone.

It's a shame though. All these girls I'm matching with are young (18-23), childless, and (mostly) very hot. Like... They'd be among the top girls looks wise, and getting 200 messages a hour if they were on POF...

Click to expand...

On POF and OKC, deeper longer conversation works well because those are proper dating sites and primarily based on desktop.

With Tinder, it's a mobile centric app. A hookup app at that. Tinder won't phrase it that way but it is. You want to keep your conversations short and simple. It's the Twitter equivalent for OLD. Fast exchanges.

gravityeyelids said:

Ive started using it, but no real results as of yet. I think part of it is my picture. I only have one up, and im an attractive guy, but i dont think it showcases me that well.

Any tips for openers and how to progress to meeting up? About how many messages do you send back and forth before asking for the number? and i read someone saying they just send "here txt me at ***-***-****, it's easier". Would you recommend giving them your number this way, or asking for theirs?

one opener i've found to work well (at least so far) is yelling their name. going "Allison!" or "Becky!" It's high energy, more interesting than the typical "hi" or "whats up", yet isnt try hard like some of those complicated cheesy openers people use. i'm going to try it out more and let you know the response rate. So far it's like 100% and they always yell back "Gravityeyelids!" or "Gravityeyelids! Whats up!"

Click to expand...

You want to put up at least four pictures. You can put three and get away with it but four is a good number.

The opener you posted is a good one. Any opener at all should work. They will respond to it. I'm not kidding. My opener is my name. That's it. I just say "Your profile caught my eye. I'm xxxxx btw. Nice to meet you".

I typically get a response back fairly quickly. They already find you attractive so any opener you use should work. Just don't try to be too funny or entertaining or act like you're trying to win their attention. You're not. You already have their attention. Just start out simple.

As for messages, hmm....I just counted my messages and I typically send about 15 to 19 messages per conversation. That might even be too many for some guys because I tend to be wordy sometimes. However, just let the conversation flow organically like you normally would. Don't bother about counting it. Gradually direct it to asking her out and then get her number.

This might be cheesy but I close the conversation by asking them if they're thirsty and whatever their answer is doesn't matter. I'll say "We should get a drink sometime" and they'll usually say yes. I'll ask for their number so I can hit them up sometime and they give it to me.

I encountered one girl who said she didn't feel comfortable giving me her number yet and asked if we could stick to Tinder for a while. I simply set the date on Tinder and ironically enough, we ended up having sex the night we met. When I asked her why she didn't give me her number, she said she had a bad experience once. Yet here she was sleeping in some guy's bed she just met that night. Strange.

I don't recommend asking for her number outright. Some girls might give it to you but I reckon a large percentage won't.