Asking SoSuave to gauge IL on plate

TheCWord · Oct 31, 2013

Plate #1, who I am thinking of demoting, is awesome. She's hot, cool, low maintenance. She'd probably be the example I would use for how true DJ stuff works, because my frame has never been stronger and she responded in kind by being subservient - I pick a date and time, she's there. She's always DTF. No Drama Obama.

My nagging issue is that she acts like the perfect woman, yet I never hear from her between dates. I usually text her to setup a date about a week after our previous one. That works out to seeing her every 1.5 weeks. This has been going on for three months.

I'm not actually interested in an LTR right now, but I do enjoy the reminders of interest I get from girls when they contact me between dates - I'd equate it to how some people get a better night's sleep with white noise in the background.

I'm seeing a couple other girls at the moment, who are great in different ways, but are not as fun as Plate 1... but they text me a lot, they can't seem to go a full week without hearing from me.

So, what's going on with Plate 1? My hypothesis: she just wants a casual relationship. She stays the night and hangs out the next day and does girlfriend-y things like that - but I think the fact that she just waits for me to contact her for a date and goes radio silence otherwise indicates someone who doesn't take me too seriously...

And it's the not being taken seriously that's a bit off-putting. I guess it's a bit backwards... I don't want an LTR, but I want HER to want an LTR... when she doesn't, it seems to indicate low interest. And what do we do with low-interest girls? We next them.

Do I next her? Go ghost for a while? Or just keep doing this every-other-week fcking until she finds someone she desires an LTR with and cuts bait with me?

_sideways_ · Oct 31, 2013

spin plates??

JoeMarron · Oct 31, 2013

She maybe acting like a model woman but you're still pursuing her. I'd say an example of the ultimate interest level is where you don't even have to hit the chick up for anything. She's so interested that she'll break the normal relationship rules and do all the pursuing instead. Think about it this way. Who's the better DJ; the man who spins plates and puts in the effort to call one of his plates anytime he wants sex or the man who just lives his life and has multiple woman inviting him over for sex multiple times during the week

user name · Oct 31, 2013

next time you see her. Knock her up. that ought to keep her on the scene if that's what you want.

TheCWord · Oct 31, 2013

Espi said:
I would stop contacting her just to see if/how she reacts.

You risk losing the plate but I find that to be part of the "game."

Thanks, Espi.

JoshSway · Oct 31, 2013

TheCWord said:
Plate #1, who I am thinking of demoting, is awesome. She's hot, cool, low maintenance. She'd probably be the example I would use for how true DJ stuff works, because my frame has never been stronger and she responded in kind by being subservient - I pick a date and time, she's there. She's always DTF. No Drama Obama.

My nagging issue is that she acts like the perfect woman, yet I never hear from her between dates. I usually text her to setup a date about a week after our previous one. That works out to seeing her every 1.5 weeks. This has been going on for three months.

I'm not actually interested in an LTR right now, but I do enjoy the reminders of interest I get from girls when they contact me between dates - I'd equate it to how some people get a better night's sleep with white noise in the background.

I'm seeing a couple other girls at the moment, who are great in different ways, but are not as fun as Plate 1... but they text me a lot, they can't seem to go a full week without hearing from me.

So, what's going on with Plate 1? My hypothesis: she just wants a casual relationship. She stays the night and hangs out the next day and does girlfriend-y things like that - but I think the fact that she just waits for me to contact her for a date and goes radio silence otherwise indicates someone who doesn't take me too seriously...

And it's the not being taken seriously that's a bit off-putting. I guess it's a bit backwards... I don't want an LTR, but I want HER to want an LTR... when she doesn't, it seems to indicate low interest. And what do we do with low-interest girls? We next them.

Do I next her? Go ghost for a while? Or just keep doing this every-other-week fcking until she finds someone she desires an LTR with and cuts bait with me?

Well, you say you don't want an LTR but you are unhappy she doesn't play text grab ass with you in between when you hang out? This sounds ideal if you don't want an LTR. If she sleeps with you, then she is interested in you. What more validation do you need?

user name · Oct 31, 2013

Espi said:
I would stop contacting her just to see if/how she reacts.

You risk losing the plate but I find that to be part of the "game."

1) going radio silence means she spinning plates of her own of which OP is just one of many.

2) going radio silence is her way of determining where OP is coming from, in which case giving radio silence might lead to stalemate.

3) keep things as they are. if you don't want LTR then i don't see what the problem is.

4) if OP thinks this is a 'keeper', then knock her up before someone beats you to it (see option 1 and 2).

Wolfgang D · Oct 31, 2013

TheCWord said:
I pick a date and time, she's there. She's always DTF. No Drama Obama.

Let me get this straight. When you think of having sex with the girl you are the most attracted to, you think of Barack Obama.

About your problem, it could be worse. And there is little you can do about it. So ... just let it be.

betheman · Oct 31, 2013

TheCWord said:
Plate #1, who I am thinking of demoting, is awesome. She's hot, cool, low maintenance. She'd probably be the example I would use for how true DJ stuff works, because my frame has never been stronger and she responded in kind by being subservient - I pick a date and time, she's there. She's always DTF. No Drama Obama.

My nagging issue is that she acts like the perfect woman, yet I never hear from her between dates. I usually text her to setup a date about a week after our previous one. That works out to seeing her every 1.5 weeks. This has been going on for three months.

I'm not actually interested in an LTR right now, but I do enjoy the reminders of interest I get from girls when they contact me between dates - I'd equate it to how some people get a better night's sleep with white noise in the background.

I'm seeing a couple other girls at the moment, who are great in different ways, but are not as fun as Plate 1... but they text me a lot, they can't seem to go a full week without hearing from me.

So, what's going on with Plate 1? My hypothesis: she just wants a casual relationship. She stays the night and hangs out the next day and does girlfriend-y things like that - but I think the fact that she just waits for me to contact her for a date and goes radio silence otherwise indicates someone who doesn't take me too seriously...

And it's the not being taken seriously that's a bit off-putting. I guess it's a bit backwards... I don't want an LTR, but I want HER to want an LTR... when she doesn't, it seems to indicate low interest. And what do we do with low-interest girls? We next them.

Do I next her? Go ghost for a while? Or just keep doing this every-other-week fcking until she finds someone she desires an LTR with and cuts bait with me?

why demote her? you want her to come running after you as well? so she doesnt contact you 'in between', why not try a little of that yourself and test the water? maybe she doesnt want to rock the boat and spoil what you have or feels that she darent? not really enough info to go on here on what is a subtle conundrum

TheCWord · Oct 31, 2013

Espi said:
:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

Could be worse you know--at least he's not thinking about Hillary Clinton. She's an instant erection killer in my mind.

Speak for yourself :cheer:

JoshSway · Oct 31, 2013

Espi said:
I'll speak from my own personal experience on this.

FVUCKING a woman is great, but when they go NC on me, I lose interest and will reciprocate going NC on them.

Sex is not enough for me. I want the whole package--great sex, great companionship, laughter, romance, etc.--and I personally REFUSE to settle for anything less in a woman.

I don't have to be married or even in a committed relationship to expect quality companionship. Society has programmed men to think otherwise. I don't agree.

Many of today's "modern" women think the same way--they want it all--career, marriage, etc. My approach is, if they can have it all, so can I.

That's fair, but it seems like the OP's main concern is some sort of validation she likes him, not that he wants an LTR or LTR like relationship you describe. I also care about more than just sex (if I like the woman

but I do not need more than sex in terms of validation.

TheCWord · Oct 31, 2013

It is an interesting phenomenon, isn't it? Acts high interest in person and low interest away from base.

For those following along, I'm going to back off for a while to see what happens. Might take her a bit to notice. Will update.

iamnobody · Nov 1, 2013

OP, try this: make sure she sees you with another plate. Plausible deniability applies, of course. That will make her hamster burn the wheel.
This is what I did a few months back with a low maintenance hottie. She behaved very much like yours and it worked flawlessly.

denverfan110 · Nov 1, 2013

iamnobody said:
OP, try this: make sure she sees you with another plate. Plausible deniability applies, of course. That will make her hamster burn the wheel.
This is what I did a few months back with a low maintenance hottie. She behaved very much like yours and it worked flawlessly.

Concur.

Had this girl in the palm of my hand but went for an extended period of time without seeing her (due to traveling on my end). Started to miss her and slipped very gently into the AFC realm via staying in touch with her online. Could visibly see she was starting to lose interest and would no longer initiate (though she would still be fairly receptive when I did it), which was miles away from what she used to do when we met.

NCd for a little and hit the clubs. Had a fair bit of success and a couple of the lays ended up adding me on Facebook + adding pictures of us out together.

After that it was it was back to square 1 with the other chick. Complete role-reversal, would text/snapchat initiate all the time. Next time we chatted she even brought up the pictures in conversation in a joking way that it seemed like I was having quite a bit of fun.

TheCWord · Dec 13, 2013

UPDATE (12/13): This is still going on. Super receptive to plans, comes over and f*cks like a champ, spends the night and we'll usually do an excursion out in the city during the day (her hanging off me the entire time). Otherwise she's a ghost. Never initiates. We've been seeing each other since August.

I personally do not like to do all the pursuing... I put up with this for a while because she always accepts dates and is a perfect girl in person, but after all these months you have got to ask yourself why she isn't trying to lock it down. I pulled back for a while, didn't contact her for over a week, and finally got a text from her today - but it was just chit chat. Perhaps the intent was to bait me into making plans, but I just kept it short and would've gone along with anything she proposed but no date was made.

As the winter gets colder (seriously, it's frickin freezing here) and I've spun plates all year, I wouldn't mind settling in with a HIGH INTEREST girl.

Can we confirm this girl is low interest?

TitanSS · Dec 13, 2013

I'd stop asking her out. If she's interested she will start initiating.

Probably familiar with your game and has other options so she doesn't feel the need to worry or compete for you.

If she's not competing for you; she's not high interest.

TheCWord · Dec 13, 2013

TitanSS said:
I'd stop asking her out. If she's interested she will start initiating.

Probably familiar with your game and has other options so she doesn't feel the need to worry or compete for you.

If she's not competing for you; she's not high interest.

Werd.

Here's a question: How do we tell the difference between low-maintenance and low-interest?

fastlife · Dec 23, 2015

I think you're overthinking things OP (and so are a lot of the other guys itt). To me this kind of behavior from a girl is the ultimate show of submissiveness--she views you as so high value that she won't even impose on your personal time or make any personal demands. If she was low interest, she wouldn't be willing to drop everything to hangout with you. If she was spinning plates, then there'd be flakiness.

She's basically given you the wheel and you're complaining about having the power to move the relationship in the direction you want it to move without any emotional resistance or expectations. Enjoy it. Call the shots, be the man.

Of course, there are plenty of 'high interest' girls that are insecure and need you for validation and will chase you and exploit your ego and eventually wreck your ass, because they're desperate for a guy, any guy, and you'll be fun game for a while--maybe you should go for them.

Glumix · Dec 23, 2015

fastlife said:
I think you're overthinking things OP (and so are a lot of the other guys itt). To me this kind of behavior from a girl is the ultimate show of submissiveness--she views you as so high value that she won't even impose on your personal time or make any personal demands. If she was low interest, she wouldn't be willing to drop everything to hangout with you. If she was spinning plates, then there'd be flakiness.

She's basically given you the wheel and you're complaining about having the power to move the relationship in the direction you want it to move without any emotional resistance or expectations. Enjoy it. Call the shots, be the man.

Of course, there are plenty of 'high interest' girls that are insecure and need you for validation and will chase you and exploit your ego and eventually wreck your ass, because they're desperate for a guy, any guy, and you'll be fun game for a while--maybe you should go for them.

This is a very interesting point of view. I have a plate who act pretty much the same. Barely initiate contact but always accept my propositions and enjoy the time together. Will have to overthink about that.

grayclif · Dec 23, 2015

fastlife said:
I think you're overthinking things OP (and so are a lot of the other guys itt). To me this kind of behavior from a girl is the ultimate show of submissiveness--she views you as so high value that she won't even impose on your personal time or make any personal demands. If she was low interest, she wouldn't be willing to drop everything to hangout with you. If she was spinning plates, then there'd be flakiness.

She's basically given you the wheel and you're complaining about having the power to move the relationship in the direction you want it to move without any emotional resistance or expectations. Enjoy it. Call the shots, be the man.

Of course, there are plenty of 'high interest' girls that are insecure and need you for validation and will chase you and exploit your ego and eventually wreck your ass, because they're desperate for a guy, any guy, and you'll be fun game for a while--maybe you should go for them.

This is exactly how I see it. The Female Yin to the DJ Yan. It's perfect. She avoids the stalemate by dropping everything to be with you at your request. You avoid the stalemate by asking for her to be with you.

Asking SoSuave to gauge IL on plate

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