If a girl mentions her boyfriend, does that mean she wants you to back off?

skinnyguy · Sep 5, 2013

Just approached this girl at the gym. She's about a 8 with a nice body. I asked her if she was new to her apartment building and she said she's been here about a month. We started conversating and then she said something like "my boyfriend and I came from Chicago..." and that's when I started thinking maybe she doesn't want to talk to me.

Do you guys think that if she was interested, she wouldn't mention that she had a boyfriend? I see that many girls talk about their boyfriends with strangers, yet guys rarely if ever mention their girlfriends if they talk with strangers.

VikingKing · Sep 5, 2013

It means she wants you to back off, or she could be interested and by telling you she has a boyfriend she can rationalize it as not being her fault if anything was to happen. Or shes letting you know she has no problem keeping you as a beta orbitor.

Uncharted · Sep 5, 2013

She mentioned her boyfriend before you asked her out. That means she is pre-empting you to know that she is taken. She's not interested.

Zarky · Sep 5, 2013

It generally means one of two things:

95% of the time it means she's taken and/or isn't interested.
05% of the time it means she's taken and wants you to know it so that if you two end up f*cking then you understand it's just a fling and nothing more.

You'll know if it's the 5% because she'll likely be grinding on your c*ck or something, or already in your bed.

nismo-4 · Sep 5, 2013

Your princess is telling you she's in another castle.

It's usually another way of saying "I'm not interested in you unless you're a friend or an orbiter." If she were really into you, she wouldn't bring up a bf. Or a husband. I've had married women tell me this after I've destroyed their vaginal walls.

Above all, this is an uphill battle. This is another reason why you need to spin more plates, always.

Case closed.

pinkfl · Sep 5, 2013

Uncharted said:
She mentioned her boyfriend before you asked her out. That means she is pre-empting you to know that she is taken. She's not interested.

This is absolutely the case.
A girl that is dedicated to her boyfriend is going to make it clear from the beginning.

If they are in a casual, no strings attached relationship, he won't get mentioned at all. Or if he does, she will say something along the lines of "yeah, I'm seeing someone but it's nothing serious"

Tomo · Sep 5, 2013

Yep and if there is any link with her to a guy that you find out, she will make a big explanation etc so you KNOW she is single. She showed me her phone, saw a picture of her and another guy. She instantly explained it was her brother and went on a long winding story.

They will not bring up the significant other unless forced to if they are really attracted to you.

skinnyguy · Sep 5, 2013

Uncharted said:
She mentioned her boyfriend before you asked her out. That means she is pre-empting you to know that she is taken. She's not interested.

I suppose. Although if I walked in the gym tomorrow with another girl on my arm, she'd be jealous as fvck. Women are simple and predictable like that.

CrimsonPanther · Sep 6, 2013

my experience shows there is no 100% correlation between a girl telling she is in relationship and sleeping with you.
i mean i have had girls telling me that, and my reaction was basically that i ignored it. i didn't say ok, or not, i completely ignored that she told me. in many cases i still got her into my bed.
if you can manage to to escalate with these girls without creating guilt, you are good.
they key is to ignore totally her boyfriend stories. change subject, and overall act assertive. women are wired for submission, if you do it properly, you get the girl.
remember: women never know what they really want. example, one case, when i had a first date and she decided not to come to my house afterwards, because she had "stuff to do at home". i didn't say anything, just offered my hand and looked at her. after a couple of awkward seconds she held my hand and came with me.
so if you want take these advises about no contact or whatever, but if you know what you want and are nonchalantly persistent, you will usually get it.

and yes: SPIN MORE PLATES = not needing only one girl = not depending from one girl's responses = not giving a fk = less stress, and more women

devilkingx2 · Sep 6, 2013

it either means she has a boyfriend or that she doesn't like you

in the former, unless you want to be a bad person, get your ass kicked(depending on the boyfriend) and be in the aforementioned boyfriend's shoes a couple months down the line(if you're stupid enough to be in a relationship with her) then leave her alone

in the latter, leave her alone because the effort it would take to convince her(with actions not words) that you're a guy she likes and should give a chance would be better spent on any number of other things(and/or girls)

El Payaso · Jan 18, 2014

CrimsonPanther said:
my experience shows there is no 100% correlation between a girl telling she is in relationship and sleeping with you.
i mean i have had girls telling me that, and my reaction was basically that i ignored it. i didn't say ok, or not, i completely ignored that she told me. in many cases i still got her into my bed.
if you can manage to to escalate with these girls without creating guilt, you are good.
they key is to ignore totally her boyfriend stories. change subject, and overall act assertive. women are wired for submission, if you do it properly, you get the girl.
remember: women never know what they really want. example, one case, when i had a first date and she decided not to come to my house afterwards, because she had "stuff to do at home". i didn't say anything, just offered my hand and looked at her. after a couple of awkward seconds she held my hand and came with me.
so if you want take these advises about no contact or whatever, but if you know what you want and are nonchalantly persistent, you will usually get it.

and yes: SPIN MORE PLATES = not needing only one girl = not depending from one girl's responses = not giving a fk = less stress, and more women

Crimson is spot on. It really doesn't mean schit if you don't make it out to be schit.

Poop1337 · Jan 18, 2014

I wouldn't pay attention to it and just push forward. Heck if they give me the I have a bf line when I ask for the number I still act like so what and try to get the number. Assume the sale. Plow through. Understand that some times they just want the cheating responsibility to be on you in their chick logic. Many times it's there way of telling you to go away as the bf might not be real. Many times it is real I mean most chicks have some guy in their life can't let that stop you. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take so might as well pull the trigger.

Turuwal · Jan 18, 2014

When I was in my early twenties it got so ridiculous that when a girl told me she had a boyfriend I knew I'd be pashing her within the next five minutes. I was a lot more aggressive back then though, and now I hardly ever hear it.

It all depends on context. The only real way of knowing is to escalate escalate escalate.

teddy · Jan 18, 2014

CrimsonPanther said:
my experience shows there is no 100% correlation between a girl telling she is in relationship and sleeping with you.
i mean i have had girls telling me that, and my reaction was basically that i ignored it. i didn't say ok, or not, i completely ignored that she told me. in many cases i still got her into my bed.
if you can manage to to escalate with these girls without creating guilt, you are good.
they key is to ignore totally her boyfriend stories. change subject, and overall act assertive. women are wired for submission, if you do it properly, you get the girl.
remember: women never know what they really want. example, one case, when i had a first date and she decided not to come to my house afterwards, because she had "stuff to do at home". i didn't say anything, just offered my hand and looked at her. after a couple of awkward seconds she held my hand and came with me.
so if you want take these advises about no contact or whatever, but if you know what you want and are nonchalantly persistent, you will usually get it.

and yes: SPIN MORE PLATES = not needing only one girl = not depending from one girl's responses = not giving a fk = less stress, and more women

Depends on your experience. If you're an experienced DJ, you can pull this off no problem. If you're a beginner, like me, and just learning, it's better to stick with single women or women in casual relationships. Otherwise you're going to end up too invested for too little a return.

Ids · Jan 18, 2014

I agree with uncharted, if she tells you during the conversation the she has a boyfriend from my experience it's nice way for her to make clear that she's taken, different from when you're asking her phone number.

marmel75 · Jan 18, 2014

Stop trying to pick up women at the gym, its a business trip, focus on what you are there for

But if you must, next time a woman says that give her a devilish smile and tell her "Oh, its cool...I'm not the jealous type"...they will usually giggle or smile and then just keep going at her...

Don_Dom · Jan 18, 2014

Zarky said:
It generally means one of two things:

95% of the time it means she's taken and/or isn't interested.
05% of the time it means she's taken and wants you to know it so that if you two end up f*cking then you understand it's just a fling and nothing more.

You'll know if it's the 5% because she'll likely be grinding on your c*ck or something, or already in your bed.

Pretty much this.

If she isn't throwing you crazy mixed signals chances are overwhelmingly likely she's trying to politely tell you she's not interested. Even if she is, who needs to deal with complications from the get go? There are plenty of women on the planet who will be interested in you and won't be taken and/or complicating your life.

Mention of boyfriend when first meeting a woman = eject, in my book.

Milage may vary depending on age group, though.

DragonBlood · Jan 18, 2014

"Appreciate the effort but Im taken/not interested"

I usually push for number anyway regardless but the result is the same. I actually dont mind this kind of rejection as she held a civil conversation and protected both parties from embarrassment... unlike some! SG you could always try keeping things friendly and asking if she has any single friends... especially around this time of year!

Its a neg to her ego as you are pretty much saying your not an orbiter and MAYBE you were never interested but also, more girls! It really depends on rapport though or if it was a brush off.

Maximus Rex · Jan 18, 2014

Which One of These Applies to You

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=18373

The following is an excerpt from "The Mystery Method," By Mystery page 36

Nine times out of ten, when a woman says, "I have a boyfriend," what this translates to is, "You just telegraphed too much interest."

It has nothing to do with whether she actually has a boyfriend. In fact if she is attracted to you, she will often deliberately hide the boyfriend from you until after you have had sex with her.

Whether she mentions him or not in no way proves that he actually exists-only that she had a motive to mention him.

1) Though she doesn't have a boyfriend, she's not attracted to you or you miscalibrated your escalation.

2) She DOES have a boyfriend and, given her current options, she has chosen to stick with that relationship.

3) She DOES have a boyfriend and is willing to sleep with you but wants to make sure that you understand her situation first. She wants DISCRETION and understanding. And though she might be available to you for sex, she NOT immediately available for more of a commitment.

4) She DOES have a boyfriend and she IS willing to cheat on him (they often are if your game is tight,) but she doesn't want to feel guilty about it. This is her RATIONALIZATION process at work. As long as she mentions the boyfriend BEFORE sleeping with you, she can rationalize to herself that it was YOUR FAULT. Sure, she might regret it later, but that won't necessarily stop her from cheating.

5) She DOESN'T have a boyfriend and she IS attracted to you; she just doesn't want to look like a loser who can't get a man. Most hot women have orbiters anyway: nice guys who pose as their friends but secretly want to sleep with them. Since the word "boyfriend," can have so many different meanings, she is thinking of one of her orbitors as a "place keeper."

THE BOTTOM LINE IS, DON'T ASK ABOUT HER BOYFRIEND AND DON'T APPEAR FAZED IF SHE MENTIONS HIM. HE MAY NOT EVEN EXIST. JUST TAKE AS AN INSTANCE OF LACK OF INTEREST CAUSED BY YOU TELEGRAPHING TOO MUCH INTEREST FAR TOO SOON

MrNiceGuy23 · Jan 19, 2014

I agree with all those who say it means nothing.

I've had several girls tell me they had boyfriends, at the time I was spinning plates and ignored it, just continued seeing the girl and escalating little by little each time. The girl eventually started getting attached and then I just pulled the trigger to seal the deal. I've even had a friend with a boyfriend tell me she had a boyfriend and that she wasn't interested and couldn't do that to the boyfriend, but again escalation proved she was a liar.

If you know what you are doing, you can get any girl to cheat, you just have to make sure you're spinning plates so it's easier to ignore her and come off as indifferent which makes her want you more. Women love being teased and if you're a high quality DJ then she'll start to wonder about you and will stray from the boyfriend to find out what your secret is.

If a girl mentions her boyfriend, does that mean she wants you to back off?

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