Sort of a field report.
I went into the town of my hot ex-BPD for a gig and I met with her. She didn’t really know what to expect of me so when I saw her I grabbed her ass, hugged her, frenched her and then said.”Hey, baby”. Needless to say she was thrilled beyond repair, all happy and into me. I walked with her a bit around the town just to get a feel if she’s seeing somebody or is trying to make anybody jealous, etc. She was ok with going anywhere with my hand on her ass, etc. She wasn’t seeing anybody and kept saying how happy she is that I’m there.
We went somewhere to have a few beers, she was gauging for our status, I kept missinterpreted everything with a grin on my face. At some point she told me “you know what you told me when you broke it off, so don’t push it too much”. Well, I kept escalating, never answered her question, she got more and more turned on. Hours passed, sexual tension was thick, I kept my frame at all times. She was asking all sorts of questions she wanted to know more about me. My answers were vague. She kept rubbing my d1ck through the jeans.
I decided to take her to a park (around 3 am) for a quickie, but her sister kept ringing her to meet with her and go home. Which happened. No biggie.
Next day we went to the zoo. She was all a smile and genuinely happy. Wanted to add a bit of positive reinforcement so I told her “you’re cute when you’re happy” She told me good things don’t come to her as often as they come to me. I switched to some other subject. Figured there’s also a forest near by where we could screw. What I didn’t know is that the forrest is not very thick and has bicycle lanes. She took my **** out while I was doing stuff with her **** (standing, because on top of that, there was a bit of rain and it was muddy). She freaks out a bit when some people understand what we are doing, the next minute she’s all red with embarassmet, yet still turned on. Said to me “It was very hard for me not to **** you last night.” Weirdness starts, sh1t tested me hinting she’s a virgin to which I laughed saying I helped other girls with the same issue. She backpedaled on virginity thing, switched to “I used to believe sex happeneds in relationships only but I have to adjust because it sucks without sex and I don’t want a relationship because relationship always end bad.” Mind you this was unprovoked, she already knew that I don’t want a relationship. Yet, she told me she want to visit my home town, was really happy when I hinted (aka sh1t testing like the bastard that I am) that I might decide to spend a few months in her town.
Later on we landed to a cool watering hole, had some beers with the mates I came with, she was a bit clingy, kept saying “I’m so happy you’re here, I would’ve stayed in the whole weekend if not for you” She is a loner, I mean, not even once on the streets did she said Hi to anybody. Weird. She wanted to know more about me, we played a bit of a guessing game with colors, I tould her I think green looks good on you. Next day she was dressed in green, green nails, the works. And hotter. Landed in the park I wanted to take her the other night, but we didn’t screw. I was quite aware she was trying to manipulate me sexualy, so I told her I’m not in the mood. She told me if you were dressed like yesterday, I would have wanted you more. I brushed it off with a joke as I knew what she was doing.
Last day there the wierd got much more weird. Wanted to see me earlier, but I was spending time with my mates, so I postpone the meeting with her. We met in some bar, had a few drinks, she asked about my FB from my home town, I told her I’m in an open relationship with her still, Then told her let’s go back to my hotel room, I want to give you something because she seemed more and more turned on, toching my d1ck from under the table (actually I started it with her planting her hand on it and let her do whatever)
My “gift” for her was a public transport ticket from my hometown, she was deliriously happy. Thought a bit of validation canot hurt. But I was wrong. We fooled around a bit, she kept going for my d1ck, eventually I opened the zipper and belt and let her enjoy. She seemed quite unexperienced... She starts raving about what we’re doing is relationship stuff and we don’t have a relationship. I joke a bit telling her “Baby, you shouldn’t care so much about me” And then...
She does an 180 degrees turn. Stars saying (being all over me and rubbing my d1ck again) “I don’t love you, you’re just a piece of meat to me. I am just attracted to you and I want to fvck you but you always manage to ruin the mood”. Becomes quite repetitive. I told her she should go at some point, but she finds reasons to stay more. She needs to tell me that we all men are alike, that I only want to fvck her and nothing else. I told her (I’m proud of myself for this one) - Honey, I want to own your body, your mind and your soul. I want to make you my slave. She shuts up, then remembers my FWB and decides to make me jealous saying sucked some dude’s d1ck and it was the best thing that happened to her lately and now she’s thinking about his d1ck. I just shugged it off with an I’m happy for you. Eventually she backpadled on that too, admitting, on her own, that she didn’t dated anybody since I dumped her. At htis point I just wanted her out of my place, she kept trying to undress me but it was all just too weird for my taste to let it go on. She told me she once loved somebody who hurt her, the guy before me. After that, she went on with “I don’t love you and I’m just attracted to you, I don’t want a relationship because they always end bad.” She went balistic when I told her that I think that she loves me. I thought she was trying to get me into some sort of relationship so I was honest with her, telling her that she's way too unstable for me to think about a relationship with her.
And now for the wierdest part. I told her I have to go meet my mates, she grabbed the shirt I had while visiting the zoo, hugged it and said in a weird soft voice “Look, it’s you at the zoo”. I was like wtf? Then she holds on my coat and again hugs it, looking at me. I tell her to stop doing this. She takes my hair brush and starts brushing her hair, then takes my perfume, applies it liberally and then tells me “I want to smell like you tonight. I will go home and masturbate in front of the mirror thinking about you.” I told her fine. Let’s go, i’m late. Take the ticket if you want. she said "what for" in a hostile tone, and leaves a leaf she picked up at the zoo. it was packed in a little bag. Weird. she manages to "take" the elastic I use for my hair. Also, bites the leather stips of my scottish ghillie shirt in a sexual way. She hugs me long and hard and leaves after I tell her that we shouldn’t contact eachother for some time. She had tears in her eyes. I didn’t like that, but I wasn’t willing to do anything about it. She, the next day, sends a message around the time my train would leave saying “These few days were beautiful. Thanks. Have a safe trip.” I never replied.
The way I see it, I din’t lose frame, didn’t cave or get angry, but I did, however, entertained drama. As in right now, I do think she’s still infatuated with me, didn’t really expect that. She’s damaged. I expected that. Not sure if she’s a BPD, the rage never showed up. There are certian traits, neediness, instant attachement, mood swings, etc, but not extreme though. Still, definitelly lots of baggage.
Learned a few lessons, I feel fine, SS is indeed a great place for knowledge.
I went into the town of my hot ex-BPD for a gig and I met with her. She didn’t really know what to expect of me so when I saw her I grabbed her ass, hugged her, frenched her and then said.”Hey, baby”. Needless to say she was thrilled beyond repair, all happy and into me. I walked with her a bit around the town just to get a feel if she’s seeing somebody or is trying to make anybody jealous, etc. She was ok with going anywhere with my hand on her ass, etc. She wasn’t seeing anybody and kept saying how happy she is that I’m there.
We went somewhere to have a few beers, she was gauging for our status, I kept missinterpreted everything with a grin on my face. At some point she told me “you know what you told me when you broke it off, so don’t push it too much”. Well, I kept escalating, never answered her question, she got more and more turned on. Hours passed, sexual tension was thick, I kept my frame at all times. She was asking all sorts of questions she wanted to know more about me. My answers were vague. She kept rubbing my d1ck through the jeans.
I decided to take her to a park (around 3 am) for a quickie, but her sister kept ringing her to meet with her and go home. Which happened. No biggie.
Next day we went to the zoo. She was all a smile and genuinely happy. Wanted to add a bit of positive reinforcement so I told her “you’re cute when you’re happy” She told me good things don’t come to her as often as they come to me. I switched to some other subject. Figured there’s also a forest near by where we could screw. What I didn’t know is that the forrest is not very thick and has bicycle lanes. She took my **** out while I was doing stuff with her **** (standing, because on top of that, there was a bit of rain and it was muddy). She freaks out a bit when some people understand what we are doing, the next minute she’s all red with embarassmet, yet still turned on. Said to me “It was very hard for me not to **** you last night.” Weirdness starts, sh1t tested me hinting she’s a virgin to which I laughed saying I helped other girls with the same issue. She backpedaled on virginity thing, switched to “I used to believe sex happeneds in relationships only but I have to adjust because it sucks without sex and I don’t want a relationship because relationship always end bad.” Mind you this was unprovoked, she already knew that I don’t want a relationship. Yet, she told me she want to visit my home town, was really happy when I hinted (aka sh1t testing like the bastard that I am) that I might decide to spend a few months in her town.
Later on we landed to a cool watering hole, had some beers with the mates I came with, she was a bit clingy, kept saying “I’m so happy you’re here, I would’ve stayed in the whole weekend if not for you” She is a loner, I mean, not even once on the streets did she said Hi to anybody. Weird. She wanted to know more about me, we played a bit of a guessing game with colors, I tould her I think green looks good on you. Next day she was dressed in green, green nails, the works. And hotter. Landed in the park I wanted to take her the other night, but we didn’t screw. I was quite aware she was trying to manipulate me sexualy, so I told her I’m not in the mood. She told me if you were dressed like yesterday, I would have wanted you more. I brushed it off with a joke as I knew what she was doing.
Last day there the wierd got much more weird. Wanted to see me earlier, but I was spending time with my mates, so I postpone the meeting with her. We met in some bar, had a few drinks, she asked about my FB from my home town, I told her I’m in an open relationship with her still, Then told her let’s go back to my hotel room, I want to give you something because she seemed more and more turned on, toching my d1ck from under the table (actually I started it with her planting her hand on it and let her do whatever)
My “gift” for her was a public transport ticket from my hometown, she was deliriously happy. Thought a bit of validation canot hurt. But I was wrong. We fooled around a bit, she kept going for my d1ck, eventually I opened the zipper and belt and let her enjoy. She seemed quite unexperienced... She starts raving about what we’re doing is relationship stuff and we don’t have a relationship. I joke a bit telling her “Baby, you shouldn’t care so much about me” And then...
She does an 180 degrees turn. Stars saying (being all over me and rubbing my d1ck again) “I don’t love you, you’re just a piece of meat to me. I am just attracted to you and I want to fvck you but you always manage to ruin the mood”. Becomes quite repetitive. I told her she should go at some point, but she finds reasons to stay more. She needs to tell me that we all men are alike, that I only want to fvck her and nothing else. I told her (I’m proud of myself for this one) - Honey, I want to own your body, your mind and your soul. I want to make you my slave. She shuts up, then remembers my FWB and decides to make me jealous saying sucked some dude’s d1ck and it was the best thing that happened to her lately and now she’s thinking about his d1ck. I just shugged it off with an I’m happy for you. Eventually she backpadled on that too, admitting, on her own, that she didn’t dated anybody since I dumped her. At htis point I just wanted her out of my place, she kept trying to undress me but it was all just too weird for my taste to let it go on. She told me she once loved somebody who hurt her, the guy before me. After that, she went on with “I don’t love you and I’m just attracted to you, I don’t want a relationship because they always end bad.” She went balistic when I told her that I think that she loves me. I thought she was trying to get me into some sort of relationship so I was honest with her, telling her that she's way too unstable for me to think about a relationship with her.
And now for the wierdest part. I told her I have to go meet my mates, she grabbed the shirt I had while visiting the zoo, hugged it and said in a weird soft voice “Look, it’s you at the zoo”. I was like wtf? Then she holds on my coat and again hugs it, looking at me. I tell her to stop doing this. She takes my hair brush and starts brushing her hair, then takes my perfume, applies it liberally and then tells me “I want to smell like you tonight. I will go home and masturbate in front of the mirror thinking about you.” I told her fine. Let’s go, i’m late. Take the ticket if you want. she said "what for" in a hostile tone, and leaves a leaf she picked up at the zoo. it was packed in a little bag. Weird. she manages to "take" the elastic I use for my hair. Also, bites the leather stips of my scottish ghillie shirt in a sexual way. She hugs me long and hard and leaves after I tell her that we shouldn’t contact eachother for some time. She had tears in her eyes. I didn’t like that, but I wasn’t willing to do anything about it. She, the next day, sends a message around the time my train would leave saying “These few days were beautiful. Thanks. Have a safe trip.” I never replied.
The way I see it, I din’t lose frame, didn’t cave or get angry, but I did, however, entertained drama. As in right now, I do think she’s still infatuated with me, didn’t really expect that. She’s damaged. I expected that. Not sure if she’s a BPD, the rage never showed up. There are certian traits, neediness, instant attachement, mood swings, etc, but not extreme though. Still, definitelly lots of baggage.
Learned a few lessons, I feel fine, SS is indeed a great place for knowledge.
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sorry i only read the title and made accusations. Either way messing with a BPD is never a good idea. I say fvck it, see where it goes, just keep your heart protected is all.
