how to make normal men approach me ?

ive · Feb 17, 2013

Hi there guys.

After reading a bit in this forum i do have more appreciation and sympathy for everything guys have to go through in life. However am even more puzzled about my situation. I have not had a boyfriend in a long time and really really need to start dating again, however i NEVER get approached by men in my daily life.

im 28 and would love to date people around my age or slightly older and with some level of maturity (my last two boyfriends were younger and while it had its plus side i definitely need a change of scenery).
I do live in a male environment and have mostly male friends, so I cannot go out with them to meet guys, I need to go out alone, but am nervous about going to a bar alone.

Any suggestions would be highly appreciated !

Darth · Feb 17, 2013

Game for women:

1. Be thin. If you are not then go to the gym.
2. Dress really really nicely. If you do not then buy nice clothes.
3. Be feminine, approachable, and nice. Smile a lot. Act natural.

You're welcome

ive · Feb 17, 2013

Well I do all those things...I started to think i dress too nicely tbh (i am from eastern europe and am very conscious of not looking "slutty" but i do try to keep my looks proper and elegant). If someone would approach me i would smile the crap out of myself and be the most approachable person there is, however i cant smile at random ppl walking on the street for no reason. i can but it wouldnt seem natural.

Darth · Feb 17, 2013

ive said:
Well I do all those things...I started to think i dress too nicely tbh (i am from eastern europe and am very conscious of not looking "slutty" but i do try to keep my looks proper and elegant). If someone would approach me i would smile the crap out of myself and be the most approachable person there is, however i cant smile at random ppl walking on the street for no reason. i can but it wouldnt seem natural.

First of all, don't use words like "crap", it's not ladylike.

Secondly, I LOVE women from Eastern Europe! You should have no problem attracting men. If you can't get a date send me a private message sweetheart, I can certainly take care of you

Edit: If you would like more help, perhaps you could post your picture and some of the older guys on here can give you tips on what you could improve with regards to your appearance

PlayHer Man · Feb 17, 2013

Why don't you date any of your male friends?

You realize that 99% of heterosexual males are only friends with women they want to date or f*ck right?

Watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_lh5fR4DMA

If you have all these male friends, then meeting men is obviously not your issue. Your issue is most likely unrealistic standards or a lack of willingness to "play the game" and just expecting everything to fall in your lap.

Darth is spot on. Be attractive and you will meet men. However, if you're waiting for Bradly Cooper, you'll be waiting a long time. Ain't gonna happen.

ive · Feb 17, 2013

Can you define "play the game" in a bit more detail ? thanx for your responses !
i am eager to play any game, change myself etc, however dont know in which direction. it is hard for me to judge my own attractiveness, since every woman considers herself attractive.
However i am definitely at normal weight.
P.S. I am NOT looking for a movie star, all the guys i have had relationships with have been good looking attractive but normal guys. It is not that i am approached only by men i find unattractive - i am not approached AT ALL by strangers.

Mike32ct · Feb 17, 2013

If we see a woman at a bar alone, we usually think "one night stand."

One way to avoid that is to go earlier. If you want a relationship, don't go to the bar at 10pm on Saturday night or worse 1am Sunday morning lol. Try 5pm or 6pm during the week to meet a professional guy after work.

Or take a dance class.

Ruleit · Feb 17, 2013

Mike32ct said:
If we see a woman at a bar alone, we usually think "one night stand."

100% agree.

Let's play 20 questions:

Q: How to make normal men approach me?
A: Be approachable.

Q: How can I be approachable?
A: Drop the Eastern European beech attitude. Be friendly and pleasant company.

Q: How do I do that?
A: Read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie and follow the advice therein.

Most E. Europeans I've met have an aura of arrogance and aloofness. It is so ingrained in them that it is subconscious.

I suggest you post a picture of yourself here and be prepared for an honest critique -- most women overrate their attractiveness.

PlayHer Man · Feb 17, 2013

ive said:
Can you define "play the game" in a bit more detail ? thanx for your responses !
i am eager to play any game, change myself etc, however dont know in which direction. it is hard for me to judge my own attractiveness, since every woman considers herself attractive.
However i am definitely at normal weight.
P.S. I am NOT looking for a movie star, all the guys i have had relationships with have been good looking attractive but normal guys. It is not that i am approached only by men i find unattractive - i am not approached AT ALL by strangers.

Get some hobbies. Preferably hobbies that men enjoy. Sports, cycling, rock climbing, the gym, etc.

Just get out of the house and do things. Men are everywhere on the hunt. Any woman who isn't an anti-social coach potato will meet men if she gets out. If you get involved in these activities and men still don't approach you.. then you are probably deformed in some way.. either over-weight, cross eyed or bad teeth, body odor.. or something.

This should help you out... rate yourself from 5 to 10 (anything below a 5 is invisible to most men)

5 = http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/wennpic/lena-dunham-premiere-girls-01.jpg

10 = http://www1.pictures.stylebistro.com/gi/Minka+Kelly+Updos+Loose+Bun+Jm0rN5TTteVl.jpg

ive · Feb 18, 2013

ok, so no bar alone, but more like classes and courses kind of thing, if a bar then early. dont look arrogant.

hard to say with the ratings

thanx will try.

Ruleit · Feb 18, 2013

If you're looking for a quality guy and a LRT I'd stay away from bars, night clubs and other "meat market" venues.

PHM's suggestion of hobbies is good. Find new things you'd be interested in doing that would put you in contact with men.

The last suggestion would be to use your existing friendship circle and ask them if they have any single male friends.

VladPatton · Feb 18, 2013

Out of curiosity, what country in Eastern Europe are you from?

ive · Feb 18, 2013

Balkans

VladPatton · Feb 18, 2013

Ah...ok

taiyuu_otoko · Feb 18, 2013

Ruleit said:
Q: How do I do that?
A: Read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie and follow the advice therein.

This one piece of advice can easily catapult ANYBODY's social skills to the top one percent.

Problem is folks are looking for all the answers to their problems inside of a few easily readable posts on internet forums.

Or they're pretending to look for answers, when in reality they're just complaining about how unfair life is.

Hey OP, this'll sound trite as hell, but you want to make more friends? Be a friend.

You want to be approached? Start approaching.

Treat others how you'd like to be treated, and BAM!

Money.

ive · Feb 18, 2013

Hey thanks for ur response. Actually i was thinking about approaching a guy,who is my type and i find very attractive, but am afraid of frightening him. plus maybe he is not single...
And will read the book; u cant have too many friends

Greasy Pig · Feb 18, 2013

You should definitely put up a photo of yourself, OP. You'll have more chance of getting the answers which will serve you best.

yyc12 · Feb 18, 2013

ive said:
Well I do all those things...I started to think i dress too nicely tbh (i am from eastern europe and am very conscious of not looking "slutty" but i do try to keep my looks proper and elegant). If someone would approach me i would smile the crap out of myself and be the most approachable person there is, however i cant smile at random ppl walking on the street for no reason. i can but it wouldnt seem natural.

Don't think anyone said anything about smiling at random people. Why not just smile and maintain eye contact with someone you'd like to have approach you? Most typical men have approach anxiety and would probably love some kind of indication that it's "safe" to approach. Otherwise what's going to make him approach you over the other 50 hot women he saw that day?

Desdinova · Feb 18, 2013

Greasy Pig said:
You should definitely put up a photo of yourself, OP. You'll have more chance of getting the answers which will serve you best.

Agreed 100% with you posting pics. The guys here will be brutally honest. If you're attractive, beware of the men here who will try to pick you up. Some of them haven't graduated from the school of Sosuave yet

Men are driven by a woman's appearance. If you want to have men approach you, you need to bring out your best physical features.

It's likely that men are not approaching you due to one of two things:

1) You are not attractive enough. You need to bring out your best physical features by wearing clothing and makeup that shows those parts of your body off.

2) You are extremely attractive and men are intimidated by your looks.

The fact that you have a high number of male friends gives us the impression that you may in fact be attractive. A man will generally befriend a woman who is not interested in him, hoping that she eventually WILL be interested.

Again, pics would help. Front, side, and back profiles.

Married Buried · Feb 18, 2013

Sorry, we cannot give accurate advice without a pic.

how to make normal men approach me ?

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