Harry Wilmington
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2012
- Messages
- 1,201
- Reaction score
- 204
Hey fellas:
Welp, it's been a while since I dropped some new knowledge on you guys, so I figured I'd drop a fancy jewel for y'all to read!
Back in my AFC days, I would go on first dates with girls and have a hard time reading her interest level. Sure, she agreed to the date, and sure, she may have touched my arm one or two times, but I needed a better way of gauging their interest to see if they weren't just going out with me for the free food.
In time, I learned that the quickest way to do this was the easiest, yet at the same time hardest, thing to do: give the girl a kiss at the end of the first date.
Initially, I held off from doing this for a few reasons. One, I was still in the "don't-want-girls-to-think-I'm-just-in-this-for-the-sex" phase of my life, and thought waiting til' the 3rd or 4th date to make a move would prove this point. (It didn't.) Two, I had a HUGE fear of rejection, and felt I'd be mortified if I went in for her lips and she turned her cheek or backed away from me. (At best, it just created awkwardness for a couple of seconds). And three, going for the kiss was, for me, as big of a step as it would have been asking her for sex. (Nowadays it's not.)
And so, my "first date kiss" thing back in the day was very sporadic and, more often than not, not happening. I'd take girls out and want to kiss them on that first date, but wait a few dates before trying it... only to have the rejected, and never see them again.
BUT... and here's where the change started to take place...
What I ALSO noticed is that the girls whom I DID try kissing on first dates were, more often than not, likely to (a) kiss me back, and (b) go out with me for a longer period of time (and were also more likely to have sex with me by the 2nd or 3rd date).
This started to get my brain thinking: why is it that the girls I took out 2 or 3 times before trying to kiss them were more likely not to, whereas the girls I tried kissing at the end of (or, sometimes, during) the first date were more likely to keep seeing me? And that's when something clicked in my head:
The reason the girls I kissed on the first date were more likely to keep seeing me... is because they already liked me!
You see, it wasn't necessarily the fact that I waited 2 or 3 dates to kiss these other girls that turned them off. It was the fact that the girls I kissed on the first dates already had a high interest in me, and the kiss was the thing that allowed me to confirm it.
Of course, I had to test this theory, so I did some dating experiments. At this point in my life I'm a pro at online dating, so a couple years ago I got me sum profiles on POF and OKCupid and went to town experimenting. I'd take some girls out and wait to kiss them on the 2nd or 3rd date, while others I'd take out and be kissing by the end of the first date. (Note: Hopefully this isn't making me sound like a male slvt of some kind; this experiment was over the span of a few months, not days or weeks, lol.)
So, what were the results? Well:
*All the girls I kissed on the first date, I ended up having sex with by the 2nd or 3rd date
*The majority of the girls I waited to kiss on the 3rd date ended up giving me the cheek, or kissing me reluctantly
*There were a couple of girls that I took out 2 or 3 times before I kissed them, and we had other dates afterwards... and they also lead to sex
Now, what should you gather from these results? Ultimately, it doesn't technically matter when you kiss a girl. Why? BECAUSE IF SHE LIKES YOU, SHE'S GOING TO BE FEELING THAT WAY ABOUT YOU FROM DAY ONE.
And that should be a relief to you. All these things you've heard girls say that's akin to "Oh, I have to get to know a guy before I kiss him or do anything physical" are LIES. A girl knows from day one if she's ready to jump you or not; therefore, if she goes on a date with you and finds you physically attractive, makes a connection with you and/or likes your company, she's ready to kiss you.
Unfortunately, there ARE some girls who will continue dating you after the first date even if they're not feeling you. They may just like the fact that you're footing the bill for stuff, or being able to tell her girlfriends that some chump is taking you out. Girls are very good at faking like they like a guy just to get free stuff or boost her ego.
BUT...
The one thing she has a very, VERY hard time faking is physical intimacy. And no, I'm not talking about faking an orgasm. I'm talking about being able to fake being excited about kissing a guy she's not into. It's a jerk reaction: if she's not feeling you and you go in for the kiss, her immediate response is to either turn her cheek or move her head back as if to physically say "Hey, what are you doing? I don't like you like that!"
And THAT, my friends, is why you need to always go for the kiss on the first date: to see if it's worth your time continuing to spend money on someone that, deep down, may not have those feelings for you. A girl that genuinely likes you for you will be more than happy when you press your lips against hers; a girl that's just iffy on you or isn't feeling you at all will not kiss you. It's really that simple.
Now, I'm sure someone's gonna read this and say: "But Harry, what about girls who say they're really shy, or who don't really like moving that fast and want to take it slow?" Again, don't believe the lies. A shy girl wants to be kissed just as much as a fast and loose girl... but ONLY IF SHE LIKES THE GUY. I've dated my fair share of shy girls, outgoing girls, girls with attitudes, religious girls, etc. And all of them had one thing in common: when I kissed them on the first date, if they liked me they reciprocated, and if the didn't it didn't matter what numbered date I kissed them on, they were going to reject me. Far better for that rejection to come on the first date so I can stop spending my cash, then getting rejected on the 10th date when I'm out of hundreds of dollars I spent on a girl that didn't really want to ever get physical with me in the first place.
Hope this helps!
- Harry Wilmington
Welp, it's been a while since I dropped some new knowledge on you guys, so I figured I'd drop a fancy jewel for y'all to read!
Back in my AFC days, I would go on first dates with girls and have a hard time reading her interest level. Sure, she agreed to the date, and sure, she may have touched my arm one or two times, but I needed a better way of gauging their interest to see if they weren't just going out with me for the free food.
In time, I learned that the quickest way to do this was the easiest, yet at the same time hardest, thing to do: give the girl a kiss at the end of the first date.
Initially, I held off from doing this for a few reasons. One, I was still in the "don't-want-girls-to-think-I'm-just-in-this-for-the-sex" phase of my life, and thought waiting til' the 3rd or 4th date to make a move would prove this point. (It didn't.) Two, I had a HUGE fear of rejection, and felt I'd be mortified if I went in for her lips and she turned her cheek or backed away from me. (At best, it just created awkwardness for a couple of seconds). And three, going for the kiss was, for me, as big of a step as it would have been asking her for sex. (Nowadays it's not.)
And so, my "first date kiss" thing back in the day was very sporadic and, more often than not, not happening. I'd take girls out and want to kiss them on that first date, but wait a few dates before trying it... only to have the rejected, and never see them again.
BUT... and here's where the change started to take place...
What I ALSO noticed is that the girls whom I DID try kissing on first dates were, more often than not, likely to (a) kiss me back, and (b) go out with me for a longer period of time (and were also more likely to have sex with me by the 2nd or 3rd date).
This started to get my brain thinking: why is it that the girls I took out 2 or 3 times before trying to kiss them were more likely not to, whereas the girls I tried kissing at the end of (or, sometimes, during) the first date were more likely to keep seeing me? And that's when something clicked in my head:
The reason the girls I kissed on the first date were more likely to keep seeing me... is because they already liked me!
You see, it wasn't necessarily the fact that I waited 2 or 3 dates to kiss these other girls that turned them off. It was the fact that the girls I kissed on the first dates already had a high interest in me, and the kiss was the thing that allowed me to confirm it.
Of course, I had to test this theory, so I did some dating experiments. At this point in my life I'm a pro at online dating, so a couple years ago I got me sum profiles on POF and OKCupid and went to town experimenting. I'd take some girls out and wait to kiss them on the 2nd or 3rd date, while others I'd take out and be kissing by the end of the first date. (Note: Hopefully this isn't making me sound like a male slvt of some kind; this experiment was over the span of a few months, not days or weeks, lol.)
So, what were the results? Well:
*All the girls I kissed on the first date, I ended up having sex with by the 2nd or 3rd date
*The majority of the girls I waited to kiss on the 3rd date ended up giving me the cheek, or kissing me reluctantly
*There were a couple of girls that I took out 2 or 3 times before I kissed them, and we had other dates afterwards... and they also lead to sex
Now, what should you gather from these results? Ultimately, it doesn't technically matter when you kiss a girl. Why? BECAUSE IF SHE LIKES YOU, SHE'S GOING TO BE FEELING THAT WAY ABOUT YOU FROM DAY ONE.
And that should be a relief to you. All these things you've heard girls say that's akin to "Oh, I have to get to know a guy before I kiss him or do anything physical" are LIES. A girl knows from day one if she's ready to jump you or not; therefore, if she goes on a date with you and finds you physically attractive, makes a connection with you and/or likes your company, she's ready to kiss you.
Unfortunately, there ARE some girls who will continue dating you after the first date even if they're not feeling you. They may just like the fact that you're footing the bill for stuff, or being able to tell her girlfriends that some chump is taking you out. Girls are very good at faking like they like a guy just to get free stuff or boost her ego.
BUT...
The one thing she has a very, VERY hard time faking is physical intimacy. And no, I'm not talking about faking an orgasm. I'm talking about being able to fake being excited about kissing a guy she's not into. It's a jerk reaction: if she's not feeling you and you go in for the kiss, her immediate response is to either turn her cheek or move her head back as if to physically say "Hey, what are you doing? I don't like you like that!"
And THAT, my friends, is why you need to always go for the kiss on the first date: to see if it's worth your time continuing to spend money on someone that, deep down, may not have those feelings for you. A girl that genuinely likes you for you will be more than happy when you press your lips against hers; a girl that's just iffy on you or isn't feeling you at all will not kiss you. It's really that simple.
Now, I'm sure someone's gonna read this and say: "But Harry, what about girls who say they're really shy, or who don't really like moving that fast and want to take it slow?" Again, don't believe the lies. A shy girl wants to be kissed just as much as a fast and loose girl... but ONLY IF SHE LIKES THE GUY. I've dated my fair share of shy girls, outgoing girls, girls with attitudes, religious girls, etc. And all of them had one thing in common: when I kissed them on the first date, if they liked me they reciprocated, and if the didn't it didn't matter what numbered date I kissed them on, they were going to reject me. Far better for that rejection to come on the first date so I can stop spending my cash, then getting rejected on the 10th date when I'm out of hundreds of dollars I spent on a girl that didn't really want to ever get physical with me in the first place.
Hope this helps!
- Harry Wilmington