Confused about a woman

Hello everyone. I need some advice.
I'm a late bloomer and I am very inexperienced. It' snot that I'm ugly or anything, it's just that, to make a long story short, I barely have any experience with women which makes me insecure around them.

Anyway, I met a girl who is my age. She's pretty and nice to be around with. At first, we just saw each other to do casual stuff like having a drink, going to the theaters, go to a restaurant together, etc.
I started feeling more for her after a few dates and just told her how I felt: I told her I started to get more feelings for her.
She said she didn't feel that way. At least not yet. She told me she had the feeling we were too different to each other and wasn't sure of it yet herself. She did say she was picky about what man would become her boyfriend but she didn't really completely rejected me neither. It's hard to describe but it left me with a feeling of "she said no, but she didn't totally close the door neither"

Anyway, we continued seeing each other. Just last week, I asked if she would like to spend an afternoon wandering in another city. You know, just some local city-sighting. She said ye and we planned it on last Saturday, but since the weather was really terrible last week she asked if it was ok we would simply go drink a hot chocolate milk together in our hometown.
We did that and it was fun. We spoke and laughed and chatted.

We started talking about the movie Skyfall which she wanted to see. We planned to see it in the theaters one night, but it was already fully booked so we ended up watching another movie.
She said last weekend that she still wanted to see Skyfall.

So a few days ago, I sent her a message asking her if she'd like to come and see Skyfall over at my place since I was planning to acquire it as soon as it would be released on Bluray.
She replied "of course! I still haven't seen it! it's a good idea". I told her I'd let her know as soon as I got the movie but that we'd probably see each other before that anyway. We're still planning to go do some local city-sighting.

Now I'm confused. I'm terrible at interpreting signals from women. A few months ago she kinda said "no" when I told her about my feelings, but didn't really completely shut the door.
And now this... all my friends say she's probably into me and simply wants to get to know me better before eventually starting a relationship. And they say that if she said "no" last time, it's probably because she felt it was too early and we didn't know each other well enough yet.

You, from an objective point of view, how would you interpret this? Is this totally innocent and nothing's going on, or do you think she might actually be into me or at least try to find out who I really am to see if a relationship is possible?

She's 30? That's like . . . 70 in dog years. Seriously, she's way too old and experienced for you. Why not go after girls who are nearer the beginning of their adult fertility, rather than the end?

I would make a move a see where it leads. Either you will get some sex, lay the groundwork to get some soon, or she rejects you and you can be done with her and quit obsessing over this chick. Truthfully, she is probably wondering why the hell you haven't made a move on her yet. Never a good idea to discuss the "what if's" and objectives of a potential relationship too early on. I try to put that stuff off as long as possible until the woman invariably brings it up.

You should be dating women 18 to 21 years old. 23 at MOST... christ man, what the hell.

sandman007 said:

I would make a move a see where it leads. Either you will get some sex, lay the groundwork to get some soon, or she rejects you and you can be done with her and quit obsessing over this chick. Truthfully, she is probably wondering why the hell you haven't made a move on her yet. Never a good idea to discuss the "what if's" and objectives of a potential relationship too early on. I try to put that stuff off as long as possible until the woman invariably brings it up.

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^This.

sandman got it,

I'd treat it like a suicide mission lol, you have nothing to lose! You are all over this chick, just reading your post made me feel sick, do you do anything else that she isnt invovled in?? Women can tell when a man has no life, especially if your 30!!! Try to fuvk her, if she denies you at the rim, THEN I'D 86 HER! (that nyc slang for cutting her off lol). Just tell her politely, uhh this isnt working out for me, I know your cool and all but i want more and you dont, which is cool.. but i have other things i could be doing now....need cab fare??

She'll either be:

completely disgusted and leave (win)
Drop to her knees and blow you cuz you just showed her you actually have a dik (win)
Try to break your frame and get you to think like she wants you to, which is what your doing now (fail)

Or try to understand what your saying, which is workable, cause this is your chance to rebuild your frame, just tell her you wanna **** her cuz you attracted to her, without sounding like a whiney beyotch...

This is a prime example of a guy willing to live in limbo rather than entertain the possibility of resolution and either getting the girl or losing her.

Men often do this because they are terrified of the "loss" and sense of failure. The fact is that it's not a loss at all. You can't lose that which you don't even have.

Currently you are her girlfriend. Nothing more. You verbalized your feeling for her which was a big mistake. A man should never verbalize his feelings about a women in these initial stages. A woman who is waiting for you to make a move is NOT looking for verbal vomit; rather, she is looking to be TAKEN. SHe is looking for action.

It's time to man up and make a move in no uncertain terms. Your challenge is that you've already established over-familiarity (you're her girlfriend) and her nervous energy is not there. Therefore the shock of your making a move will be more severe. If she is actually waiting to make your move, she will jump at the chance to change the status of the relationship. If she totally has you in the girlfriend zone in her mind then you still win because you have achieved RESOLUTION.

Resolution is a man's best friend. Girls love to wonder and speculate about relationships... It is fuel for them. Men are the exact opposite. Being in limbo about relationships is a huge drain. It saps away a man's happiness and verve for life. It is the direct opposite of fuel.

Therefore, all men should strive toward resolution and concreteness. Make your move UNAPOLOGETICALLY, do not feel shame about it. You're a man, and you have business to take care of regardless of how she feels. Your business is to establish resolution and stop being her girlfriend. If you lose her, be assured that you never had her in the first place. Get out of limbo-land.

Let us know how it turns out.

Atom Smasher said:

This is a prime example of a guy willing to live in limbo rather than entertain the possibility of resolution and either getting the girl or losing her.

Men often do this because they are terrified of the "loss" and sense of failure. The fact is that it's not a loss at all. You can't lose that which you don't even have.

Currently you are her girlfriend. Nothing more. You verbalized your feeling for her which was a big mistake. A man should never verbalize his feelings about a women in these initial stages. A woman who is waiting for you to make a move is NOT looking for verbal vomit; rather, she is looking to be TAKEN. SHe is looking for action.

It's time to man up and make a move in no uncertain terms. Your challenge is that you've already established over-familiarity (you're her girlfriend) and her nervous energy is not there. Therefore the shock of your making a move will be more severe. If she is actually waiting to make your move, she will jump at the chance to change the status of the relationship. If she totally has you in the girlfriend zone in her mind then you still win because you have achieved RESOLUTION.

Resolution is a man's best friend. Girls love to wonder and speculate about relationships... It is fuel for them. Men are the exact opposite. Being in limbo about relationships is a huge drain. It saps away a man's happiness and verve for life. It is the direct opposite of fuel.

Therefore, all men should strive toward resolution and concreteness. Make your move UNAPOLOGETICALLY, do not feel shame about it. You're a man, and you have business to take care of regardless of how she feels. Your business is to establish resolution and stop being her girlfriend. If you lose her, be assured that you never had her in the first place. Get out of limbo-land.

Let us know how it turns out.

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Great post and I agree with every word.

Icebat, I'm not going to be redundant but I will say as you gain more experience with women you will not let things pvssyfoot around for so long. What I mean by that is it is normal for you at this stage to be uncomfortable around women and wait for them to give you direct blunt indicators that they want to move forward. Well, as you'll learn, they rarely do this. If you want something you have to TAKE it. Not by force, but you need to be confident about your intentions and not waste time for fear you'll make her uncomfortable. It's kind of an art.

Like Atom Smasher said, either way you get resolution. Nothing worse than sitting around all day thinking about whether a woman is into you or not.

And this is a matter of opinion, but don't write off all 30+ year olds as some have suggested. You need experience with a wide range of ages. I think it's fine to put the cap around your own age, however.

At first, we just saw each other to do casual stuff like having a drink, going to the theaters, go to a restaurant together, etc.

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During this period, you need to break the sexual barrier with a woman. You need to use kino to show her that you're not afraid to be sexual with her. You failed to do this.

I started feeling more for her after a few dates and just told her how I felt:

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NEVER tell a woman how you feel. Show her how you feel with touch.

I told her I started to get more feelings for her.
She said she didn't feel that way.

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Because you failed to break the sexual barrier and use kino, you've wound up in the friend zone.

You, from an objective point of view, how would you interpret this? Is this totally innocent and nothing's going on, or do you think she might actually be into me or at least try to find out who I really am to see if a relationship is possible?

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If you're deeply infatuated with her, get rid of her. But if you have no problem keeping her as a friend, then keep her as one. Then, start dating other women and tell her about them.