did i make a mistake being too cheap?

i tried picking up this girl in a sandwich shop on Sat evening, she was waiting for her friend.. we had a nice convo but it only lasted 5mins.. her friend came by but she goes 'let me give you my number..' so clearly she was interested. i contacted her yesterday making a date arrangement for today, i told her to meet me for a hot chocolate in the center of town.

our text convo:

me: hey HB, it was lovely meeting you in that sandwich shop in x place on Sat. let's get together this week. i need to go into town so let's get a hot choc together. im out tonight bu how's tomorrow or weds at 8pm? x

her:Hi! nice to hear from you! Sure we can meet up for a cafe! let me when you be in town x

me: tomorrow. meet me outside the french chocolate dessert place at 8pm tomorrow ok? see u then. x

her: what about 7pm?
her: tomorrow or weds it ok for me

me: sure, see you tomorrow at 7. x
her: x

fast forward today at 5.30pm her tone suddenly changes..

her: Hi there could we meet near to my place there is on pub could the reindeer pub, because i do not have time and i want to be next to my place ok?

i was thinking wtf.. she seems like being difficult now, i thought maybe she had other plans after or double booked a date who knows.

me: that's by the station isn't it. yeah ok but if it's too busy we'll go to a cafe next to the station. same time at 7. shall i meet u outside the pub? what time do u have to leave? x

her: we meet around 7 outside the pub
me: ok see u then.
her: let meet in cafe next to the bar ok? in side
me: ok, i dont know where that is but i'll find it. shall we meet 6.45? im getting changed now about to leave soon.
her: just 1 second from the pub it new yes let meet up at 6.45
me: ok see u 6.45

i couldn't understand why from yesterday her IL dropped, she didn't put kisses at end of her texts, i was just a bit confused.

we meet outside.. she isn't even dressed up, she's wearing juicy couture velour sweat suit with ugg boots and a low v neck cut top showing her boobs.

i greet her and she seems relatively happy. i asked her where she had to be she said nowhere, so i was thinking so why dont u have time.. wtf.. i get us a drink then we talk, but her body language is completely negative.. arms crossed, in a bad mood yawning. she looked nice and smelt nice but was dressed like a tramp. i commented on what she was wearing saying she's not dressed up. blah blah. i noticed she zipped up her sweatsuit as to not show me her boobs and had her arms crossed.. i said 'are u cold? you're sitting like this (mimicing her cross arms)' she says 'no' i kept negging her and teasing her but she seemed somewhat not interested. i tried all my best moves, kino, negs.. disqualifying but it just felt too try hard.. i leant in too much i think. maybe she thought i was leering at her. she said she was laughing when i suggested the hot choc idea.. and that got me thinking maybe the reason she lost interest is cos i didnt' offer the typical dinner drinks deal she's used to? i was testing her.. i said to her.. 'where i live the women there always try to get u to take them for dinner and drinks.. im not attracted to women like that..' so she said 'so u were testing me..?' i said 'no but u passed anyway '

at points she was complaing about her ex bf blah blah.. i just switched off and looked away waiting for her to finish her rant. i guess maybe she's still hung up on her ex.

she just didn't seem interested.. yes shes a rich girl used to expensive places etc and she's foreign so maybe she thought my cafe idea was bit cheap but she seemed excited about it at 1st and offered me her number (the big mistake i made was not bringing that up in the date i was going to but forgot) at the point of her yawning i decided to call it a quits..

when i said goodbye i made the mistake about talking about the next date saying she shoudl come down to visit me and i said we'l go to the chocolatier.. she looked at me annoyed cos i just seem to gravitate towards places with chocolate haha.. then i kissed her cheeks bye but she seemed like not interested.

what the hell went wrong?

you were testing her, she failed. She has a price on her pvssy. NEXT!

Purefilth said:

you were testing her, she failed. She has a price on her pvssy. NEXT!

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but the point is why wasn't she interested?

she offered her number to me.. clearly that's an interested girl (or was). i promised nothing during our initial convo.. she didn't ask me my job or where i lived. so i thought she was genuine. yes i was dressed well but nothing to indicate i attract gold diggers.. she's rich herself.

Why are you taking her for hot chocolate instead of for adult beverages anyway?

ARrocket said:

Why are you taking her for hot chocolate instead of for adult beverages anyway?

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cos there aren't any decent bars nearby, and she isn't one of those types of girls who goes to the sh1tty pub for drinks even though she suggested it. she goes to expensive places so i'll look cheap if i go to the crappy bar next to the station. drinks usually for 2nd or 3rd dates.

big weezy said:

cos there aren't any decent bars nearby, and she isn't one of those types of girls who goes to the sh1tty pub for drinks even though she suggested it. she goes to expensive places so i'll look cheap if i go to the crappy bar next to the station. drinks usually for 2nd or 3rd dates.

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Then she's not gonna go for sh!tty hot chocolate either! Either play her game (ie someplace nice and buy her pvssy), or put it on your terms and see what she does.

You did the latter, and she wasn't down for it.

She probably only showed up to try to justify to herself that she's not a gold digging wh0re.

You gonna contact her again?

She wanted to have drinks with you near her place...hmmmmm I wonder how that could have turned out well for you??? Think she wanted to make it easy to hook up then you came across as a church going boyscout who wanted a hot chocolate. I think she is more loose and was dtf but you were the nice guy type. It's ok to be that guy ifthat's you, she just wasn't your kind of girl (she's a party girl)

ARrocket said:

Then she's not gonna go for sh!tty hot chocolate either! Either play her game (ie someplace nice and buy her pvssy), or put it on your terms and see what she does.

You did the latter, and she wasn't down for it.

She probably only showed up to try to justify to herself that she's not a gold digging wh0re.

You gonna contact her again?

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but the hot chocolate place is a posh nice little dessert place in a nice part of town. very classy.

i do want to contact her again, she's quite sporty she said so i'll prob do an action date like tennis or something.

the question is WHY did she give me her number in the first place if she wasn't attracted to me?

i didn't give any indicator i was rich nor going to spoil her or anything. she didnt' know what i did for work nor where i lived.

Dude. She wanted to have drinks near her place. In my mind, she was hoping you were the cool dude that would get her loose, maybe a little liquored up, walk her home, find a way to up to her place (can I use your bathroom before I dip?) make a move on her and fvck her till she comes. OH MY GOD! You're waaaay to nice my friend.

My rule of thumb, when a girl offers me her number unsolicited? She's DOWN TO FVCK!

yuppaz said:

She wanted to have drinks with you near her place...hmmmmm I wonder how that could have turned out well for you??? Think she wanted to make it easy to hook up then you came across as a church going boyscout who wanted a hot chocolate. I think she is more loose and was dtf but you were the nice guy type. It's ok to be that guy ifthat's you, she just wasn't your kind of girl (she's a party girl)

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she only suggested the pub cos she wanted to be close where she lived.. down to pure laziness and spoilt princess syndrome.. definitely not dtf at all.. i wish!

she only suggested the pub cos she thought i drank and she wasn't sure what to do etc.. she wasn't dressed up.. it was her general demeanour that told me she suddenly lost interest from yesterday till today. i think it's because she is used to guys askign her out to expensive dinners and drinks etc and i didnt so she thought i was cheap (maybe). all i know is she did say she laughed when i suggested hot chocolate originally.

i guess it was a good thing when she asked me if i was testing her. cos then at least she knows im wary of money grabbing girls

Young Juan said:

Dude. She wanted to have drinks near her place. In my mind, she was hoping you were the cool dude that would get her loose, maybe a little liquored up, walk her home, find a way to up to her place (can I use your bathroom before I dip?) make a move on her and fvck her till she comes. OH MY GOD! You're waaaay to nice my friend.

My rule of thumb, when a girl offers me her number unsolicited? She's DOWN TO FVCK!

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no no no.. you guys got it all wrong! this wasn't a solicited offer to get drinks and pound.. 100% not at all. just cos she suggested a pub by where she lives doesn't mean she wanted to get liquored up.. that was wishful thinking. she just wanted to go somewhere right next to where lived cos she was too god damn lazy to get changed and meet me 10mins walk down the road.

Even if she wasn't trying to fvck that night, why are you moving so slow? Tennis? wtf I play tennis with my little brother, that's not a date sure as hell not a second date.

ARrocket said:

Even if she wasn't trying to fvck that night, why are you moving so slow? Tennis? wtf I play tennis with my little brother, that's not a date sure as hell not a second date.

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they said do 2nd dates action dates where you can kino i.e. teach her feel her up etc.. 1st date coffee or drinks 2nd action date.. 3rd dinner at her place.

Instead of looking at it like you didnt impress her, look at it vice versa. Women give their number out all the time

Dude....girls are subtle and have planned this out much more than you'll ever be able to comprehend.

Yes or no: Did she ever explicitly state to you she was lazy and didn't want to go somewhere else? From what you wrote, she said she didn't have time. Girls take time to get dressed and stuff. That's probably why she was in a velour sweat suit too. I mean, who gets dressed up to go to a cafe? I wouldn't expect that.

By having it close to her place, it gives her an easy out if she gets the creeper vibe from you (worst case) as well as the option to go back and pound if she gets the tingly sensation (best case).

From experience, princess girls don't like to date princes as much as you believe. Once again, I'm speaking from experience. All that texting back and forth made you look kind of weak in my opinion, especially with all the questions and long windedness of the texts. You always have the option to meet up at the pub and then venue change to something more active on the first date. Look for opportunities to take the lead, make a decision, and give her an experience she will remember. That's what girls like. They want to something fun so they can go home and tell their girlfriends good things about you. Give her a story.

I've dated an actual rich girl, like this girl had a driver and everything. I mean, her family came from Nigerian oil money. Gucci and Louis everything. She was super down to earth though and a freak in the bedroom. On our first date I took her to the movies and then back to my place. I don't remember the movie, but I remember her mentioning that weed made her horny. Of course we went back to my place and smoked weed before I proceeded to smash the stuffin out that muffin!

What I also didn't see from you is you being the leader. Girls want to do whatever you want to do for the most part. If you wanted to get the pvssy, was a leader, and had been smooth about it, you probably could've at least got a makeout. I can tell from the tone of your writing you don't have a positive expect the best attitude and have some limiting beliefs. As long as those things are in play, you will get the results you expect, not the results you want/desire.

Have a can do/will do attitude and not a wish I could/want to attitude.

omega05 said:

Instead of looking at it like you didnt impress her, look at it vice versa. Women give their number out all the time

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but i never asked for her number in the first place.. that's what is so strange.. it's like she was enjoying our initial convo, her friend came she had to go.. didn't want to not risk not hearing from me again so offered her number to me. surely that is someone who has high IL..

then she turns out to be a stroppy moody cow on our supposed date.. maybe she was on her period.. i dont know. it's such a 180 from how she sounded the day before.. like i didnt' do anything or say anything to cause this.. she was all kisses the day before and suddenly today she's all stroppy.. like she couldn't be bothered to make an effort.

big weezy said:

but i never asked for her number in the first place.. that's what is so strange.. it's like she was enjoying our initial convo, her friend came she had to go.. didn't want to not risk not hearing from me again so offered her number to me. surely that is someone who has high IL..

then she turns out to be a stroppy moody cow on our supposed date.. maybe she was on her period.. i dont know. it's such a 180 from how she sounded the day before.. like i didnt' do anything or say anything to cause this.. she was all kisses the day before and suddenly today she's all stroppy.. like she couldn't be bothered to make an effort.

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YOU are supposed to be the leader. YOU are supposed to be happy go lucky and give her no option other than to have fun! I would made fun of her for being so negative, in a light way of course, and then told she needs some coffee or something to brighten her mood.

Young Juan said:

Dude....girls are subtle and have planned this out much more than you'll ever be able to comprehend.

Yes or no: Did she ever explicitly state to you she was lazy and didn't want to go somewhere else? From what you wrote, she said she didn't have time. Girls take time to get dressed and stuff. That's probably why she was in a velour sweat suit too. I mean, who gets dressed up to go to a cafe? I wouldn't expect that.

By having it close to her place, it gives her an easy out if she gets the creeper vibe from you (worst case) as well as the option to go back and pound if she gets the tingly sensation (best case).

From experience, princess girls don't like to date princes as much as you believe. Once again, I'm speaking from experience. All that texting back and forth made you look kind of weak in my opinion, especially with all the questions and long windedness of the texts. You always have the option to meet up at the pub and then venue change to something more active on the first date. Look for opportunities to take the lead, make a decision, and give her an experience she will remember. That's what girls like. They want to something fun so they can go home and tell their girlfriends good things about you. Give her a story.

I've dated an actual rich girl, like this girl had a driver and everything. I mean, her family came from Nigerian oil money. Gucci and Louis everything. She was super down to earth though and a freak in the bedroom. On our first date I took her to the movies and then back to my place. I don't remember the movie, but I remember her mentioning that weed made her horny. Of course we went back to my place and smoked weed before I proceeded to smash the stuffin out that muffin!

What I also didn't see from you is you being the leader. Girls want to do whatever you want to do for the most part. If you wanted to get the pvssy, was a leader, and had been smooth about it, you probably could've at least got a makeout. I can tell from the tone of your writing you don't have a positive expect the best attitude and have some limiting beliefs. As long as those things are in play, you will get the results you expect, not the results you want/desire.

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i hear what you're saying man.. but i just got a bad vibe from her.. i mean her initial text today to change venue etc kind of stole the frame.. she wanted to be near her place cos she couldnt' be jacked to go far and was just wearing whatever she was wearing at home.. surely she would want to impress me if she thougt it was a date.. (this is before the long windness of todays texts i agree..) she goes on about not wanting to cancel and she's flexible doesn't make plans blah blah.. i really didn;t know what she was on about apart from her pre meditating saying she's flakey so i should expect it in future.

it's like she was put off the second she saw me today.. i was dressed well smelt nice, i looked good. she saw me saturday so surely she remembers what i look like.

tbh i was arrogant the whole time.. c+f to the core.. i didn't want to give off a weak frame.. the only thing bad i think was cos i couldn't understand her i leaned in over the table to talk.. when really i should have leant back.

i kino'd loads.. made suggestions for us to get together.. she said 'oh so you're going to cook me italian food?' i said 'i dont do italian' i shoudl have said somethign else. i made her qualify herself by saying 'so what sets you apart from other girls in this town?' she thought i said 'what sex u apart' so i negged her for having sex on her brain and that wasn't appropriate talk for a first date in a very flirty flirtatious way.

i told her we'd play tennis high stakes and that if i won she'd give me a kiss. she agreed and we should on it, then jokingly i pinky sweared with her. she told me i was funny.

i dotn know if she was put off by my arrogance but i was funny with it.

i think shes hung up on her ex who was playing her and she mentioned he contacted her today to meet up blah blah. f knows.

before we left i made fun of her for looking like barney the dinosaur cos her juicy couture sweatsuit was purple she didnt' know who barney was so hadn't a clue what i was on about.. then i touched her a$$ to say 'normally it says juicy on the butt' she didn't hear me so i did it again.. she didn't flinch or looked disgusted.

The chick was DTF and was like wtf is wrong with this dude...

Young Juan said:

YOU are supposed to be the leader. YOU are supposed to be happy go lucky and give her no option other than to have fun! I would made fun of her for being so negative, in a light way of course, and then told she needs some coffee or something to brighten her mood.

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i did make fun of her.. for her negative mood. saying her bod language was negative (crossed arms) then i mimiced her.. then said she was like an upset little child not getting what they want.. in a jokingly funny way. she felt self conscious and stopped crossing her arms.. but she zipped up her top to hide her boobs.. i dont remember leering at her.. but she must have felt it.. surelt if she has her tits out like this she would want me to look at them. i guess maybe cos i was staring the whole time she didn't want to give me that impression.

man.. these women are f'd in the head. 1 day they're into you, the next day day they're not. i was exactly how i was on saturday.. better even. c0ckier, funnier, charming. arrogant. everything it says u need to be.. the only negative was i didn't disqualify her enough.

@marmel75 i dont know why u and the others kept saying she was dtf.. she was sooooo not down to f at all.. moody cow the whole time.

you're taking what i've said the basic facts and assuming that just cos she suggested the pub (next to her place) as a come on for sex.. no it wasn't. she was just being a lazy cow not willing to go 10mins down the road like our intial idea. she agreed to coffee in the first place if u remember and sounded quite positive with a kiss at the end of her message.

i know what a dtf chick is like and this one certainly was not.