Do you guys give advice on friendships? Could use some help

I just want some advice and want to get it off my chest.

Background: Known this girl for 12 years, since elementary school. We hung out a lot during the end of high school (2010) and up until now with my other best friend, a male. We (my friend and the girl) starting hanging out less because of college and she has some fairy ass boyfriend now. (Ive never said this about him in real life, just here lol)

Anyway, my best friend and I have been hanging out a lot like we usually do and we haven't spoken to the girl in a little under a month. She hits him up today and asks if she can hang with him, they hang out and my friend tells me a few things she said about me.

This seems to have came out of the blue, but she claims I'm a bad friend and I "twist her words and I'm nosy" and started talking some **** about me, she then tells my best friend to just wait and see how bad of a friend I am and she doesnt want to hang with me anymore (I've been friends with my best friend for 6 years, I think I'm a great friend.) He disagrees and has my back, obviously.

Anyway, I'm a little shocked at this because I honestly cant remember anything I've done that would make me a "bad" friend. Yes I've annoyed her and gotten her mad a couple times with my jokes and sarcastic personality and stuff, but thats how I am! Doesnt seem like that would make me a ****ty friend. Honestly the amount of times ive shown her a good time, made her laugh her ass off and was generally cool severely outweighs the one or two times ive gotten her mad/annoyed. And this is the first time anyone has ever told me im a bad friend in my entire life. Nobody else complains, I'm generally liked by people.

So a part of me wants to fix things because I used to like her, still kinda do a little bit but its fading away. Shes fun to chill with and stuff. But a part of me wants to say "**** you" and if you don't want to be my friend then I'll stop talking to you, that's what she wanted right? Another note, she doesn't know that I know she said these things, my best friend being my bro, told me what she said.

So what do guys? Im kinda mad that she thinks this about me, but its also a weird feeling going from hanging out with this person for a long time to them straight up not liking you anymore

What would you do if you were me?

Ignore the hoe. My guess is she had a crush on you, but now has a boyfriend who she needs to believe is 'the one' so her little hamster spins and she rationalizes that you are a horrible person and she never liked you really. It's all to preserve her ego. Ignore. Next!

Make sense?

Girls are funny arent they!? I understand how you may feel when a "friend" says your not a good friend. I would ignore her and her false comments, shows her true colors!

Purefilth said:

Ignore the hoe. My guess is she had a crush on you, but now has a boyfriend who she needs to believe is 'the one' so her little hamster spins and she rationalizes that you are a horrible person and she never liked you really. It's all to preserve her ego. Ignore. Next!

Make sense?

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Haha you're good. She was infatuated with me at one point and I never, not once reciprocated the feelings because she was clingy and annoying.

Thanks for the reply, makes me feel a whole lot better. Part of the problem is I put a lot of value on her because of the length of time I've known her and the fact that shes pretty. Bad thing to do, thanks again bud.

Krueg said:

Girls are funny arent they!? I understand how you may feel when a "friend" says your not a good friend. I would ignore her and her false comments, shows her true colors!

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Yeah! Shes being a two faced person right now. Over the course of our friendship she had a lot of positive things to say about me, she says she "loves me" in a best friend type of way (Im ok with being in the friend zone here, not a big deal) and suddenly im a bad friend who she never wants to see again?

Im going to ignore her for now and see what happens. I know shes going to miss me, I've showed her a good time so many times in the past and now all she has is her sappy boyfriend who leaves her love notes and tells her he loves her after one month of dating. We'll see how that turns out..lol

SLSAMG said:

Haha you're good. She was infatuated with me at one point and I never, not once reciprocated the feelings because she was clingy and annoying.

Thanks for the reply, makes me feel a whole lot better. Part of the problem is I put a lot of value on her because of the length of time I've known her and the fact that shes pretty. Bad thing to do, thanks again bud.

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lol female AFC!

Imagine a girl has friendzoned you - you say oh well, Next! and carry on, get a new girl and forget the friend one.
You friendzone the chick - she cant handle that the fella she has isn't you, so she twists the world around so that you were never the catch, and she was never rejected - you're horrible, worst friend ever.

This is why you cant reason, argue, or even try to properly analyse the thoughts/actions of a female.:crackup:

Glad to clear that up for you.

SLSAMG said:

Yeah! Shes being a two faced person right now. Over the course of our friendship she had a lot of positive things to say about me, she says she "loves me" in a best friend type of way (Im ok with being in the friend zone here, not a big deal) and suddenly im a bad friend who she never wants to see again?

Im going to ignore her for now and see what happens. I know shes going to miss me, I've showed her a good time so many times in the past and now all she has is her sappy boyfriend who leaves her love notes and tells her he loves her after one month of dating. We'll see how that turns out..lol.

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It wont last. she'll get bored because he's no challenge, and he will chase her with tears, wondering what went wrong.

Remember - YOU ARE THE PRIZE.

Yeah man, thanks for clearing it up, you made things so much easier and got a ton off my mind. The way you explained her rationalizing the fact that I havent spoken to her or tried to become her boyfriend makes perfect sense.

What should my move from here on out? Remember, she doesnt know I know what she said. I mean, does she really think shes going to gossip to my best friend and hes not going to tell me??

My goal depends on whether or not what she said was true or just a bluff/woman logic.

If she was just mad/jealous/rationalizing the situation then she probably didnt mean it and im down to be cool with her again. I was always cool with her, her little rant to my best friend just came out of nowhere.

If she really did mean what she said, which based on the replies given here, I doubt, then I guess if she wants to end the friendship then so be it. I know she'll come running back anyway. Shes very pretty and popular but actually only hangs out with a handful of people, me being one of them. She'll eventually get bored of the same people and her beta boyfriend.

Thanks again, the posts in here make so much sense

Purefilth said:

lol female AFC!

Imagine a girl has friendzoned you - you say oh well, Next! and carry on, get a new girl and forget the friend one.
You friendzone the chick - she cant handle that the fella she has isn't you, so she twists the world around so that you were never the catch, and she was never rejected - you're horrible, worst friend ever.

This is why you cant reason, argue, or even try to properly analyse the thoughts/actions of a female.:crackup:

Glad to clear that up for you.




It wont last. she'll get bored because he's no challenge, and he will chase her with tears, wondering what went wrong.

Remember - YOU ARE THE PRIZE.

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Wow that is a mind ****! I love this forum I get so many laughs with the responses and comments here.

QUOTE: lol female AFC!

LMAO nice....made my day

SLSAMG said:

Yeah man, thanks for clearing it up, you made things so much easier and got a ton off my mind. The way you explained her rationalizing the fact that I havent spoken to her or tried to become her boyfriend makes perfect sense.

What should my move from here on out? Remember, she doesnt know I know what she said. I mean, does she really think shes going to gossip to my best friend and hes not going to tell me??

My goal depends on whether or not what she said was true or just a bluff/woman logic.

If she was just mad/jealous/rationalizing the situation then she probably didnt mean it and im down to be cool with her again. I was always cool with her, her little rant to my best friend just came out of nowhere.

If she really did mean what she said, which based on the replies given here, I doubt, then I guess if she wants to end the friendship then so be it. I know she'll come running back anyway. Shes very pretty and popular but actually only hangs out with a handful of people, me being one of them. She'll eventually get bored of the same people and her beta boyfriend.

Thanks again, the posts in here make so much sense

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Just be you. Do what you normally do, enjoy your life - if she comes back wanting to be friends then she does - if she doesnt, its no great loss really now is it!

Purefilth said:

lol female AFC!

Imagine a girl has friendzoned you - you say oh well, Next! and carry on, get a new girl and forget the friend one.
You friendzone the chick - she cant handle that the fella she has isn't you, so she twists the world around so that you were never the catch, and she was never rejected - you're horrible, worst friend ever.

This is why you cant reason, argue, or even try to properly analyse the thoughts/actions of a female.:crackup:

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Funny how when it happens to a guy, he generally takes it and just gets a bit down on himself. When it happens to a girl, it is always someone ELSE'S fault and she is the victim!

Just goes to show you how vindictive and superficial girls can be. They think because of childbirth, they are the stronger sex. Couldn't be farther from the truth though in general. They can't take the same amount of BS that guys put up with on a daily basis without venting out at the world and pointing fingers.

She's a spiteful person, drop her completely.

Lol thanks for the help guys, its been off my mind for today, I'll see how it goes in the near future

Hey, just a quick bump. I have a few questions:

1. Do you think it'd be a good idea to contact her, or should I ignore her for talking sh*t behind my back?

2. Do you think shes rationalizing this because she still likes me/ignoring her made her interest spike a little?

3. Do you think she isnt rationalizing this and actually means what she said?

Thanks again

You should treat her like any other woman, meaning that you only talk to her if you are going to try to fvck her. Men and women can't be "friends." Just give up on that idea.

Bible_Belt said:

You should treat her like any other woman, meaning that you only talk to her if you are going to try to fvck her. Men and women can't be "friends." Just give up on that idea.

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Ehh I disagree with this, I've been friends with women throughout my whole life with absolutely no problems, not sure where this mentality of only talking to them if you want to fuk them comes from.

The only reason I made a thread about this girl is because she was one of my closest friends and I actually cared about her, otherwise I wouldn't give 2 sh*ts

SLSAMG said:

Ehh I disagree with this, I've been friends with women throughout my whole life with absolutely no problems, not sure where this mentality of only talking to them if you want to fuk them comes from.

The only reason I made a thread about this girl is because she was one of my closest friends and I actually cared about her, otherwise I wouldn't give 2 sh*ts

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I'm of the impression that mostly, boys and girls aren't friends unless one wants to f u c k the other.
Just as a guideline - there are of course exceptions - i.e. wives and girlfriends of my buddies - but they're not my friends by choice, they're friends by default.

She was your closest friend because she wanted you. As soon as she has a replacement... (see previous answers)

I wouldn't bother with her. If she was a he, then how would you react?

Just forget about it, life doesn't need these people to complicate it.