I've been reading Rollo and Roosh and their links since June but haven't yet posted here.
Hopefully some men here can give constructive input toward how to go forward from here. Last night we had a relatively large $hit test in my house. When I got home from work everything was fine and nobody was upset. We live in a one-bathroom house and as I was using the bathroom, she opened the latched door and asked me to get out, twice, since she wanted the room. I told her calmly, after giving the bemused stare, that I'd leave when I was done.
She stewed for an hour or so and I stayed out of her way, doing other things around the house. Then she started yelling at our 4-year old daughter because she thought the level of roughhousing play with our 19 month old son was excessive. I have been making concerted efforts to reduce yelling in our house so I separated my wife and daughter, telling my wife that this was not an appropriate reason for people to yell in the house.
Now she's really mad. In the kitchen and living room, she starts telling me things such as: the two of us are simply business partners, raising two kids, we'll be divorcing, and that I'll never have her heart. (She tried that line four times with different inflection each time, to see if it would set me off).
I held her arm firmly but not in an attacking manner and told her that she would stop. Gave the dismissive stare again. When she verbally escalated further, I told her to get her keys and get in the car and go. I decided this because some space was necessary until things cooled off, and I didn't need to leave since I didn't start or escalate the event.
See - earlier in the year when she would $hit test like this I would lose my calm and hit things or fall to her level of retaliatory conversation. I've taken some classes since then and also found more internal stability. So even at the time these events were happening, I could see them for what they were - attention / "will you protect me" plays. So I did my best to not concede frame.
So she goes. I assume that she will use the opportunity to go to Starbucks or the grocery store or do something to decompress. But 40min later there are two policemen on my front porch. I let them in and set my kids up with a movie so they don't ask too many questions. They start off by telling me that they're here because my wife went to the firestation across the street and told them that she was kicked out of the house with nowhere to go. At that time a 911 call was made at the station and these two officers took it from there.
They wanted first to know my side of the story. I reported it like I did above. They made it clear that the details were the same as her story except she thought I kicked her out.
I'm sure there is more to type. I may add more later. Input other than "shouldn't have married her" would be great.
Hopefully some men here can give constructive input toward how to go forward from here. Last night we had a relatively large $hit test in my house. When I got home from work everything was fine and nobody was upset. We live in a one-bathroom house and as I was using the bathroom, she opened the latched door and asked me to get out, twice, since she wanted the room. I told her calmly, after giving the bemused stare, that I'd leave when I was done.
She stewed for an hour or so and I stayed out of her way, doing other things around the house. Then she started yelling at our 4-year old daughter because she thought the level of roughhousing play with our 19 month old son was excessive. I have been making concerted efforts to reduce yelling in our house so I separated my wife and daughter, telling my wife that this was not an appropriate reason for people to yell in the house.
Now she's really mad. In the kitchen and living room, she starts telling me things such as: the two of us are simply business partners, raising two kids, we'll be divorcing, and that I'll never have her heart. (She tried that line four times with different inflection each time, to see if it would set me off).
I held her arm firmly but not in an attacking manner and told her that she would stop. Gave the dismissive stare again. When she verbally escalated further, I told her to get her keys and get in the car and go. I decided this because some space was necessary until things cooled off, and I didn't need to leave since I didn't start or escalate the event.
See - earlier in the year when she would $hit test like this I would lose my calm and hit things or fall to her level of retaliatory conversation. I've taken some classes since then and also found more internal stability. So even at the time these events were happening, I could see them for what they were - attention / "will you protect me" plays. So I did my best to not concede frame.
So she goes. I assume that she will use the opportunity to go to Starbucks or the grocery store or do something to decompress. But 40min later there are two policemen on my front porch. I let them in and set my kids up with a movie so they don't ask too many questions. They start off by telling me that they're here because my wife went to the firestation across the street and told them that she was kicked out of the house with nowhere to go. At that time a 911 call was made at the station and these two officers took it from there.
They wanted first to know my side of the story. I reported it like I did above. They made it clear that the details were the same as her story except she thought I kicked her out.
I'm sure there is more to type. I may add more later. Input other than "shouldn't have married her" would be great.
