Lazying Screening is your main problem

Before I went to the races today I had been dealing with this client. a new client who i spoke with last night, he wants a project that is exactly what we do best. so I put together a proposal for the guy, and this guy puts together this document explaining what he wants and in it you can kinda get the sense that he's been burned/lied to so i kinda felt bad for the guy.

anyway, long story short, i put all sixths **** together for the guy.. the guy calls me and says he wants to see a mockup.. we don't do mockups normally, the **** never ever works out for one reason or the other, but anyway i was going tom ake an execution and do one for the guy because again, i can tell he's been burned a few times, but i asked did you have any questions or concerns about the proposal that i sent you, and the guy says yeah i didn't read it i just want to see a mockhup, i don't have time to read that


i hung up the phone. yeah, i could have talked to him and talked him into reading the document, i could have done a mockup and ****, i have 2 kick ass designers, i know he would have liked what we came up wtih. I just have done this enough to where I know that this job with A plus B plus C there was no way this was going to end well for us. Clients who are so cavalier as to not go over a proposal for a 6 thousand dollar job are not good clients.


the guy, is example of what is wrong with american men. what i mean is he wants everyone else to look out for his best interest because he's too lazy / ignorant to do so.

this mother****er wants a fashion line website where users can have a 3d model on the site and turn and twist the clothes and **** and the only thing he cares about is the ****ing mockup design? and you wonder why you have been ****ing ripped off 5 times lol? **** you can go ****ing tempa,lte for 60 dollars.. **** a good one at template monster, **** the design.

and we've done something like that and i gave him admin access to the tool he wants basically and the guy is too lazy to look at it.

and then , when someone else tells him exactly what he wants to hear and he gets his money taken gain, he will be even more bitter and be even more difficult to deal with. he doesn't realize that he is the problem

It's no one's job to look out for you but you. You have to thoroughly make sure that people are always on the up and up with you, to screen **** out of women, people, everyone i your life.


screen, screen, screen, screen, screen, screen, screen. screen the **** uot of the women you meet. wait. ask questions. give tests. verify. guys see a woman and do exactly what this dude did, she says a few of the right things and he's all too happy tos kip over the screening process beucase he's getting some or he has a real chance to get some, then he gets burned, then he cries to everyone how ****ed up everyone else is. when in reality, the only person you really need to be mad at is you for not screening.

you know what? you're 100% right. period.

backbreaker said:

It's no one's job to look out for you but you. You have to thoroughly make sure that people are always on the up and up with you, to screen **** out of women, people, everyone i your life.

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Correct. But I'll go a bit further. In order to screen properly, you MUST be able to MASTER the following:

1) You've got to know EXACTLY what you want. You can't screen if anything will do.

2) In order to know EXACTLY what you want, you've got have a bit of experience to know what's out there.

3) In order to filter what you want from what you don't want, you've got to be able to identify what you don't want. Not only that, but you've got to identify it as early and as painlessly as possible.

4) You've got to have confidence not in the world, but in YOUR OWN ability to sort through the world to find what you want.


Now, when it comes to women, most men don't have a frikkin clue what they want. They only have a vague idea of what they DON'T want.

In the vague recesses of their partially developed man-boy minds, they kind of want a girl that reminds them of mommy, but they definitely DON'T want a woman like that horrible bytche that just dissed them in front of their friends.

Try sorting through anything with THOSE criteria!

YIKES!

Taiyuu man that is great stuff.

We need to compile a new DJ Bible from our best gems here... someone needs to separate the wheat from the chaff. I love the original one but I feel like experience would be a nice counter to the aspirational but not always realistic messages in it.

There are smart guys on this forum but its torturous to read through all the frustration/confusion/cries for help that dominate this place.

What kind of azzh0le bothers a race fan the night before the Breeders' Cup?

Down Low said:

What kind of azzh0le bothers a race fan the night before the Breeders' Cup?

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this is the type of client that has no qualms bout expecting work to be done over thanksgiving and **** like that. **** that i'm out.

Correct. But I'll go a bit further. In order to screen properly, you MUST be able to MASTER the following:

1) You've got to know EXACTLY what you want. You can't screen if anything will do.

2) In order to know EXACTLY what you want, you've got have a bit of experience to know what's out there.

3) In order to filter what you want from what you don't want, you've got to be able to identify what you don't want. Not only that, but you've got to identify it as early and as painlessly as possible.

4) You've got to have confidence not in the world, but in YOUR OWN ability to sort through the world to find what you want.


Now, when it comes to women, most men don't have a frikkin clue what they want. They only have a vague idea of what they DON'T want.

In the vague recesses of their partially developed man-boy minds, they kind of want a girl that reminds them of mommy, but they definitely DON'T want a woman like that horrible bytche that just dissed them in front of their friends.

Try sorting through anything with THOSE criteria!

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while this is true to a great extent, it doesn't take all the experience on earth to know i don't like drug users or drug heads. I don't like girls who cheat on every guy they ever dated i dont' care how speical she says i am and what chemistry she says her and I have. lol you really are going to date a girl who gives you a ******* within 1 hour of meeting you lol? you think your game is that ****ing tight where you just brought it out of her?

even in my AFC hall of fame days, I knew my oneitis was a black hole; she just sucked the life out of every guy she has ever been around but she is so hot you put up with it. she just has this over concusming need to have drama with her family. today **** that ****.

i mean, yeah, as i got older and more experienced it got fine tuned. with business and with women. it took me a year or two to realize that clients who don't want to pay a deposit, aren't sold on you and you need to move on. took me a while to realize that guy who keeps firing "bad programmers" is the bad client.. we are good but all our competition isn't that bad. but even when i first started, i knew i didnt' want to deal with clients who were just pricks for no other reason than they are paying for a project, **** thati don't need your money.

it took me a while to realize i need a very non clingy inpdenant woman who can find **** to do on her one beucase i hve too much s**** going on to baby a girl 24 7. it took a while to realize i had to have a woman with very high self esteem and thick skin beucase i like to throw jabs alot when i am in a good mood and low self esteem girls take it the wrong way. but it didn't take az long time to realize that you know.. the girl that cheats on every guy she has been with.. that ***** just might cheat on me. the girl that brags about "partying" every weekend.. you know.. she juust might be a slut.

some guys are walking through the world with eye patches on and are claiming they are blind.

"some guys are walking through the world with eye patches on and are claiming they are blind."

Or maybe they're just pirates! Arrrrrr matey!!!! Arrrrrrrrrrr!!! Geeeeeyaaaaarrrhhhh!!!!!

All silly joking aside. Men have subconscious standards. They choose to ignore the warning signs. The "red flags". But in their GUT they know something doesn't feel right. They choose to ignore these instincts. Gut feelings are reliable in the case where we observe behaviors and the behavior gives us a sick feeling.

The only causes for confusion are either choosing to ignore these feelings or letting false beliefs and imaginary scenarios hijack your otherwise reliable gut reactions.

Example. Cheating is bad. If a woman cheats, the man gets a terrible gut feeling. He also gets the same gut feeling if he falsely IMAGINES that she cheats. The gut reaction is the same to things that are visually perceived and to things that are visually imagined. That's how people get butterflies BEFORE actually being in a physically nerve-wracking situation. They visualize it and the gut reacts. If your gut is reacting to REALITY, then your gut instict is reliable. If it is reacting to paranoid imaginings, the gut reaction will be the same even if what you imagined is the biggest lie in the world.

I have a client right now who will not give me details on what he wants on his website. he just wants me to give a ballpark quote and get started. If you don't know what you want, we will end up in revision/add on hell. The cost will go up, you will blame me, the deal will fall apart. I do not start on anything anymore until I have everything and writing and I know exactly what I am expected to do. Scope creep is real. How does that relate to women? Fvck if I know. But I do know this, I have to keep my house in order or I end up losing money. I'm pretty desperate for cash, but I've decided screw being desperate. I rather starve than enter a bad deal again. Every time I betrayed myself for a little income it's blown up in my face.

I guess the same applies to women. Every time I let my standards slip a little bit and watched to many red flags go by, it's blown up in my face. I can't afford it anymore.

Lazying Screening is your main problem

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With the level of selfishness, complexity, and MALEVOLENCE in today's dating minefield, there's only so much screening a man can really do. Even the wisest and most careful of men won't be able to vet every woman he meets 100% of the time.

However, due to this reality, as has been previously touched on, the best defense a man has in scenarios like this is KNOWING who he is, KNOWING what he wants, and KNOWING when it's time to make a bold stand to REMAIN true to who he is and what he wants.

Although I shouldn't be----I find myself still somewhat surprised at how gutless some men are when it comes to standing up for their own benevolent best interest.

My random, "unscientific" surveys lead me to believe that this is because the guys themselves are HOLLOW----like empty suits with no man inside.

Many men don't properly screen (or "vet") women because these guys themselves know deep down inside that THEY have no "real" value------just puffed up pride, manufactured machismo, and no perceived purpose in life BEYOND chasing the next random chick that crosses their field of vision.


V.U.

Warrior74 said:

I have a client right now who will not give me details on what he wants on his website. he just wants me to give a ballpark quote and get started. If you don't know what you want, we will end up in revision/add on hell. The cost will go up, you will blame me, the deal will fall apart. I do not start on anything anymore until I have everything and writing and I know exactly what I am expected to do. Scope creep is real. How does that relate to women? Fvck if I know. But I do know this, I have to keep my house in order or I end up losing money. I'm pretty desperate for cash, but I've decided screw being desperate. I rather starve than enter a bad deal again. Every time I betrayed myself for a little income it's blown up in my face.

I guess the same applies to women. Every time I let my standards slip a little bit and watched to many red flags go by, it's blown up in my face. I can't afford it anymore.

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been there. you will also learn that, when you take that hard of a stance, the people you do business with are 1000% sold on you and price isn't a real issue more times than not, you can charge what you think it's worth beucase they are sold on you.

when you cut out the ****ty clients you realize that it was just really the ****ty clients that kept you price gouging all the time

Many men don't properly screen (or "vet") women because these guys themselves know deep down inside that they have no "real" value------just puffed up pride, manufactured machismo, and no perceived purpose in life BEYOND chasing the next random chick that crosses their field of vision.

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really good ****

Victory Unlimited said:

Many men don't properly screen (or "vet") women because these guys themselves know deep down inside that THEY have no "real" value------just puffed up pride, manufactured machismo, and no perceived purpose in life BEYOND chasing the next random chick that crosses their field of vision.

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Maybe the reasons of men not screening aren't so deep. Maybe they are just dying to get some and they overlook and don't screen.

I don't buy this "value" talk when I am sweating on a dance floor trying to close the hot chick.

It's simpler than that. Warrior's example fits better, you need cash, you expect the deal. You want to get some and you get it from anyone you can.

Boilermaker said:

Maybe the reasons of men not screening aren't so deep. Maybe they are just dying to get some and they overlook and don't screen.

I don't buy this "value" talk when I am sweating on a dance floor trying to close the hot chick.

It's simpler than that. Warrior's example fits better, you need cash, you expect the deal. You want to get some and you get it from anyone you can.

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I strongly suspect that most guys, myself included, categorize women, either consciously or unconsciously into two categories:

1) Short term fun

2) Long term prospects

I believe the problem is twofold. One is that guys don't bother taking the time to do much screening with #2.

Another is that girls that start out as #1 end up as #2, thereby skipping any screening process altogether.

Obviously, if guys could screen their #2 girls / partners as effectively as successful entrepreneurs have learned to screen their customers (like Backbreaker and Warrior) there's be a lot fewer problems.