just a story...

When I came here I loved reading stories from people as I could look at from a different perspective and without emotions involved and take things from it and learn. Now, I finally have a story spanning over 3 years that hopefully newer members can read it and take their own notes from. Sorry if it's a bit long lads.


Anyway, it starts around 3 years ago. I had just left school and was at my peak of coolness. I had many plates and me and my mate used to actually see multiple girls a day. I had a choice of who I wanted and I could have had any of them and I knew it. This gave me unbelievable confidence. One of these girls I met through a friend as he was trying to get into her mate. She was extremely shy and quiet and as the total opposite I kind of liked this. She seemed sweet and different to my previous girlfriend who was a total nutcase. Anyway we got chatting and met a few times and I got to know she was still a virgin and a devout Catholic, although I could probably tell anyway. After about a week she came over to mine for a family BBQ. My Mum instantly liked her and we became an exclusive couple.

Things were brilliant for a few months and she was the perfect girlfriend. Literally, nothing bad I could actually say about her. I was still getting attention from other girls but I would shrug it off. I ran into my psycho ex and one thing led to another and we ended up having sex in a field up the road from my girlfriends house. There was just so much lust between us it was a magnetic force, something I didn't get with my squeaky clean Catholic girlfriend. It was like best of both worlds. I felt like a man again. From then I ended up cheating on her more times with different girls after nights on the piss with my mates. It was the excitement I craved even though I had an amazing girlfriend. I always felt guilty but I kind of enjoyed the power.

Naturally I started to give less attention to my girlfriend. Never wanted to have sex with her, never did nice things for me. I could tell she craved my love and attention and would randomly break down telling me how much she loved me. I ignored this. My conscience had gone dead. She was everything any decent lad would want yet it wasn't enough for me. I always wanted more. I could tell she started to tell people about the breakdown as her friends and parents started to act different towards me. We eventually split up the day after our first anniversary. For it she was expecting me to take her out and make her feel like I was happy with her and loved her. For one day just treat her as she deserved. Instead I ordered food in and even moaned about having to pay for hers too. She broke down in tears and asked why I didn't understand how much I loved her and why I couldn't treat her as well as she did me. No emotion at all from me. Next day she split up with me.

Well at first it felt great. Out with my mates all the time trying to pull birds. But as time went on I started to miss her and the stability that I had. We met up a few times and even had sex again. It was clear she still loved me. She had told her parents and friends about our time together and they all forbid her to see me again so we had to keep it quiet. I started to come to my senses and realise what a total ****head I had been to treat this lovely girl the way I did when all she did was love me. I neglected her and even cheated on her multiple times. I felt horrible. The guilt was unreal. I felt physically sick everytime I thought about it.

In the end I told her. I still remember the sound of her breaking down. That was the final nail in the coffin. I had totally broken her heart. A quiet little Catholic girl who would never do anything bad to anybody. From then she blocked and deleted me on facebook. I needed to apologise to her and show her how sorry I was. I felt I owed her that. This is where I felt I went totally wrong. Instead of just giving her space for a while I went to her house to try speak to her. Her Mum told me she wasn't in even though it was obvious she was. I heard a few days later she was at a friends house so I went there to speak to her. Again her friend came to the door and said she wasn't in. I felt awful. Later I bumped into her at the end of her road, a geniune coincedence. I said I was sorry but she said she hated me and never wanted to see me again. Over the next few weeks I tried everything to speak to her. I needed to make things better and get rid of my guilt.

She then genuinely started to lose interest. I was not the cool desireable lad she loved. I was just a desperate loser. She probably started to laugh at me with all her friends at how much of an "AFC" I was. One even sent me a message saying what a fat weirdo I was (i'd started to gain weight the previous 6 months). Well that was my self esteem totally crushed. It took everything out of me. I felt so ****ty about myself. I then spent months eating more and gaining more weight. Feeling so low. Then I started to hear bitter rumours that my ex had made up about me that weren't true. She was trying to ruin every bit of respect I had from people. People were stopping me and asking if these weird things were true. In fact I've still been getting asked recently, 2 years after we broke up! She still obviously cares if she's willing to still make up rumours when I couldn't give a fcuk about her, but still. I started to hear about all the things that she was doing. People close to her and former friends of hers were telling me all the things she was getting up to and what a slut she was. This crushed me and I blamed myself. I had caused the nicest girl i'd ever met to turn into a monster.

Anyway I'd had enough, I didn't have the confidence to speak to girls anymore, I was overweight and feeling depressed. Her and her friends had crushed me. So I started to lose weight and found this site. The weight flew off and I re-learnt everything I previously knew (THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT HELPED) and made me desireable to females. I very slowly managed to turn back into my former self and it now feels great. I have an amazing girlfriend and i'm in decent shape. I still hear about my ex being a total slut and still hear the occasional rumour.

NOW HERE IS THE WEIRD BIT - The other night I was in a club with my friends and girlfriend and I see my ex and her friends. I avoid eye contact as I don't want to cause a scene. I can feel them all staring at me and even hear my name. They found seats just behind where we were stood but I carried on drinking and acting normal because I genuinely didn't care. 2 years had gone by since we split and about 18 months since we last properly spoke. She still hated my guts, i'd seen her friends before and they'd shouted abuse at me about how I ruined her life. Next I see my ex sitting on a lads knee, looking over to see if i'm watching then kisses him. Okkkk... bit weird, i'm here with my girlfriend and don't care. She does this a few times then walks past us a few times in the next 10 minutes to make sure we see her. Weird behaviour. I just carry on as normal. Then she goes to the dancefloor and starts "dirty dancing" with another guy, looking in our direction. Starting to get a bit creepy. Then, she proceeds to cry on the dancefloor. Yes, crying on the dancefloor. Most girls run to the toilet but she just cries then and there, 10 yards away from us. I feel awkard as **** here. I start to leave but my girlfriend tells me not to let it bother me. I was well creeped out. My mate is behind us trying to get into some whale for an easy lay and my ex storms past us and upto my mate, pulls him away and starts going mad at him saying what a ****head I am, when I can blatantly hear her. I turn around and ask her what the problem is and she storms off. Very weird.

Taking a girl's cherry is the biggest deal in her life for a long time.
To be the first man she allowed to fvck her gives you higher status than pretty much anyone else, ever.
That's why she's acting out. She gave you her treasured gift and you spurned it. Understandable but in no way acceptable for her to carry on like a psyho.

I'm guessing you set a high standard during the first six months of your relationship with her. She's been looking for that ever since and hasn't been able to find it. So maybe she is or isn't over you personally after all this time, but you still represent the best relationship she ever had.

In her mind, I'm sure she's frustrated that she lost such a great thing, and I can only imagine some of the dating horror stories she has experienced over the past two years... Probably several of them involving the very club where you just saw her!

The Gambler

Definitely agree with you lot. I'm always hearing still to this day that she's such a *****, always going off with anyone that's willing. It's a shame because she was nothing like that when I knew her. I sometimes still feel bad that it's probably all my fault she's turned out like this for breaking her heart although I shouldn't after the problems she's tried causing me the last couple of years.