Desdinova said:
When a man cheats, it's usually to fulfill a physical need. She's not giving him sex, so he's going to find it somewhere else. I believe a man can still love his wife, but get laid by someone else. If the man is required to cease interactions with the second party, he can do so and still see his wife as his long-life partner.
When a woman cheats, it's usually to fulfill an emotional need. The man isn't giving her enough attention, isn't touching her, and isn't adding any kind of excitement to her life. So she meets another man who she finds exciting. She receives emotional stimulation from her interactions with him, and believes that he is the one she needs to fulfill her emotional needs. Then she fvcks him and feels an emotional connection. If she is required to cease interactions with the second party, she cannot see her husband as her life long partner. She has developed an emotional connection with the other guy, and not being able to spend time with him is only going to make her desire his company even more.
Not 100% of cases are like this, but I believe this is how the majority of them work.
When I had my mistress, I knew it was only to fulfill a need. I was planning on leaving my wife anyway, and this girl was available to spend time with me, to chat with me, and to be sexual with me. I didn't want her as a life-long partner, I wanted her to keep me company and to give me sexual pleasure. When her fiancee started to suspect that we were fvcking, I ended the affair.
A few months later, my ex-wife decided to cheat on me as well. I found all the proof in her email account. It wasn't really the affair itself that bothered me. The things that bothered me were that: 1) it was her best friend's husband and 2) she was talking about their future together and how much our child adored him. The fact that she was trying to groom him to become a step-father to MY child upset me more than anything.
She was telling everyone that she was leaving me (although she played the victim when I ended it.) I had quit giving her any emotional excitement over the past year. I had no respect for this woman, and I thought she was a disgrace to the family we had created. (I could state all the reasons, but that's a long post in itself.)
Women can go through relationships without sex quite easily. It's the emotional fluctuation they require to remain in a relationship. This is why women will stay with abusive men or start arguments and drama and be completely emotionally satisfied, even if the sex has dried up.
Well, didn't you cheat on her first? What sort of trend is that setting for the relationship and how can you expect someone not to turn on you after that? After all, you hurt someone deeply doing that.
I understand your premis, and maybe many men, or most a-typical alpha males desire simple sexual pleasure. But clearly many men look beyond that also. There certainly are some men who 'emotionally' cheat as well as 'physically' cheat. Look at the OP in this thread. He's doing both--emotionally and physically cheating--his pursuit of sex also is a pursuit of emotional comfort in this woman. That goes against the basic notion of 'men cheat for sex', 'women cheat for security'. I just don't think that's true in all cases. There are too plenty of women whom have a healthy sexual appetite and want nothing more in their cheater than sex. This could be more rare, but men and women are NOT that different in all circumstances. Some women are driven to cheat as their home-lives are falling apart, or they find comfort in someone else. Men cheat because of this too--finding comfort in someone else.
Most of what we hear about in the news are cheating politicians or actors who have a few plates on the side. Maybe they don't get seriously emotionally involved.
But I don't think that's how all people work by any means.
It's not cool to tout anti-cheat philosophy towards women but not be able to uphold this ourselves. I don't buy that argument at all--that's a very selfish viewpoint. If you want to be spinning lots of plates, DON'T GET EXCLUSIVE -- and even worse, DON'T GET MARRIED.
The OP and the testosterone-loving ex-house-DJ are one of the same molds. These are weak men who committed and CHOSE to create a FAMILY, CHOSE to take on a COMMITMENT, but then suddenly they FLAKE OUT because suddenly they LOST 20lbs, or they GAINED SOME MUSCLE. WEAK! That's some WEAK-@SS sh1t. Especially when these women have treated them WELL, take care of their family, and haven't given up on life.
It would be a TOTALLY different story if she's put on 100lbs, threw away all of her hobbies and has become a nagging wh0re. And meanwhile you've been getting jacked.
These situations are not that. These are men who have poor self control and who are utterly selfish and care not how even their CHILDREN are affected. These are scvmmy weak men.
The unfortunate thing is they do not know how FAST LIFE CAN CHANGE.
They might have big muscles and a 6-pack now...and sabotage their marriage and scar people emotionally and mentally (women and children)...but their muscles or 6 packs may not last forever...they might get hit by a car and lose their legs...where would these macho men be then? Wifey left them long ago through their selfishness. Who would want to stick by and help these fools when they experience real struggle?
Have some fvcking class.
And we blame women for being 'evil'. This forum is so biased and male-slanted, demonizing all women but rewarding and praising cheating men. Catch-22? Hypicrosy?
hell yes. :yes:
Then we wonder why there aren't any good women...
maybe it's because they trusted a man and had their baby and the fvcker cheated in a calculated and cold manner foresaking even their children.
This ain't a war of men vs. women. This is a war of a man being true to himself. These men are not true to themselves. They made commitments, and rather than
man up and end that commitment they take the weakest shallowest way out...and come here asking for advice...to show off their accomplishments...what a joke.
A real man doesn't actively and pre-meditatively hurt and destroy the people he claims he 'loves' and those women who claim to 'love' him. These men are a joke and a disrespect to all men and all women who seek trusting relationships. They don't deserve respect NOR trust.
Like I said, you want to play, don't get married. That's your ACTIVE CHOICE and DECISION.
