Ok, what the hell am I doing wrong

Usually when I go to a club and don't pull (which is every time I've been) I don't care cos its nothing new and I've had fun anyway but its just worn out now.

On Friday night I went to a club with a friend and this is someone who all through school could not get girls and everyone looked down on.

We were drinking along and trying to dance our way into the groups and he at one point danced up to a girl and kissed her within seconds and then she promptly left.

Later on he dances into a group of girls, just dancing no talking (too loud for that) and within a minute goes in for a kiss and is then practically eating her face off for the rest of the night. I mean WTF?? He didn't even say anything he just danced up behind her got her attention and eventually she turned and snogged his face off.

HOW?!? The last time I kissed a girl was 2009

There are couples kissing all over this club and its like all these guys know some secret trick.

I sat down at this point and this guy came over and tried to get me back on the floor again (don't know why) then turns and goes up to a group of 4 girls starts grinding up against one and puts his hands on her waist, she turns and looks, carries on dancing, he kind of grabs her arm and starts daning with her and then kisses her and she kisses back.

all in under 30 seconds WHAT ARE THESE GUYS DOING?!?!

I just thought I'd copy his technique to the letter for the hell of it, soon as my hands are on this girls waist she looks like she's being raped and her friend throws this fvck off glare at me and they dissapear.

Usually I wouldn't care but this just depressed me and its just getting ridicolous, so what the hell are these people doing to be able to make out with some girl they havent spoken too in roughly 60 seconds???

He either knows better than you which girls to pick (he gets signs of interest or his radar show drunk girls) or he is simply very good looking, I cant name a single guy who can make out with a girl in less than 30 secs.

I often make out with girls at the club on the sofas but it takes 30 minutes not 30 seconds and only after running good games and kino on them.

Regarding girls turned off from you, you are either ugly or you do it in a nervous way which make the girl nervous herself.

So its either a look thing or a screening one.

Eternal_water said:

Usually I wouldn't care but this just depressed me and its just getting ridicolous, so what the hell are these people doing to be able to make out with some girl they havent spoken too in roughly 60 seconds???

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Haha, this sounds like great way to get herpes. Why are you so concerned with kissing random girls? Would James Bond ever complain that he couldn't get kisses from random girls in a club? You had it right the first time. Go out to the and just have fun. Keep your ego and emotions in check and start learning to talk banter with women. That's your best bet. Leave the cheesy dance pickup thing to the Chachis.

Whatever he has been doing since high school increased his confidence.
He is just confident enough to go for it, which 9.5 out of 10 guys won't do.
You need to stop focusing so much on theory and focus on developing unshakeable confidence.

It has little to do with his looks.

This is (sadly) my area of specialty ; reputation firmly in place amongst anyone who knows me. I have gone from initiating, to hooking up, than getting head in a back room all within minutes on multiple occasions. Most times its exactly as you described to a tee.

First of all if I had to guess, you have to be physically appealing enough to get women to want to do this. Sorry to say to the proponents of strict game, this is where some level of good looks come to play. Don't bother if your a fat slob or anything like that. Ive never seen ugly or short people pull this off. I am not saying I am america's next top model or anything, but this is where the divergence between how you perceive yourself and reality.

The biggest thing is the non verbal body language...by FAR. Men initiate in a conversational sense, but women 99% of the time initiate non verbally. Most of the time, men miss it. I do not. Eye contact, a smile, and looking away and I go in and it works a good number of times. Start dancing, but keeping her away is akin to building non verbal rapport, and eventually she will move in an invade your personal space. At this point she will be smiling and making a move in, but keep her away for a little bit until she practically has to force you to make out with her. When this point happens, she's lost all control and will do so all without even saying one word.

Haha, this sounds like great way to get herpes. Why are you so concerned with kissing random girls? Would James Bond ever complain that he couldn't get kisses from random girls in a club? You had it right the first time. Go out to the and just have fun. Keep your ego and emotions in check and start learning to talk banter with women. That's your best bet. Leave the cheesy dance pickup thing to the Chachis.

This doesn't just apply to a dance floor - god knows I don't do that too often anymore these days. Its a similar process if you are talking to a chick, but the game is stretched out a little longer. Making out with a rando at a club gets you a few high fives, but overall doesn't matter and doesn't necessarily mean your getting laid. The overall goal is to have fun, but its also fun knowing that a chick somewhere in the venue wants to play

I cant name a single guy who can make out with a girl in less than 30 secs.

I broke this record at least several times: one time at a nightclub in Cambridge MA, and another this past weekend ( okay that was probably like 45 seconds). The chick in the first case just went straight for it almost to the point where I was scared, and we basically ended up almost banging on the sofa. Would have been a fun night me thinks , but I had to find my friend since he didn't know the area at all...

I'm 6ft and the exact opposite of fat, a bit too skinny for my liking. Trying to bulk up. Solid square jawline as well but I can't really comment on ugliness but I wouldn't say so. Just not Brad Pitt.

Gets a bit depressing after several years though.

Eternal_water said:

I'm 6ft and the exact opposite of fat, a bit too skinny for my liking. Trying to bulk up. Solid square jawline as well but I can't really comment on ugliness but I wouldn't say so. Just not Brad Pitt.

Gets a bit depressing after several years though.

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Think of it this way, how you look is one of a few hurdles. Once you clear that, the real game begins. If your in shape, I don't see the first obstacle being too difficult to overcome..

The second one, being able to spot signals seems to be more difficult , but is a bigger part of the whole game. Be able to do this and you will be shocked and in awe of how easy it is. To that end, I am surprised that more people dont know this or use it to their advantage. Its like a cheat code...and this coming from a guy who does NOT believe in quick/ easy solutions to lifes problems.

synergy1 said:

The second one, being able to spot signals seems to be more difficult , but is a bigger part of the whole game. Be able to do this and you will be shocked and in awe of how easy it is. To that end, I am surprised that more people dont know this or use it to their advantage. Its like a cheat code...and this coming from a guy who does NOT believe in quick/ easy solutions to lifes problems.

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Yeah, it's actually not that hard to spot signals but it does take practice/experience. I didn't really figure it out until I got into my 30s. Still most guys don't seem to understand it. A lot of them will just kamikaze their way in and get blown up.

They're called club sluts. Making out with a club slut is nothing special and certainly not an accomplishment. I witness something similar. Except the guy wasn't even dancing. He was standing against a rail and SHE walked up to him. They said a few words and made out.

Alcohol+physical attraction+club slut = make out. Big whoop.

TillTheEndOfTime said:

They're called club sluts. Making out with a club slut is nothing special and certainly not an accomplishment.

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2009, It would be a hell of an acomplishment for me

So how do you spot these signals in a club scenario then?

Eternal_water said:

So how do you spot these signals in a club scenario then?

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Yeah what are the signals?

youngmack said:

Yeah what are the signals?

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Club pickup isn't my strength at all. I like to talk to girls and it's really hard in that environment. That's why I stick to bars. But I have done it before successfully and do know when a girl is at least somewhat interested. You just look for signs like eye contact, a smile, any kind of positive attention towards you is a green light to at least approach. When I approach a girl I need at least something to work with. Some kind of sign that she is interested. Otherwise you're just straight forcing your way in and that's never worked for me. If a girl never notices or looks at you she's probably doing it on purpose and is likely not interested. Just my personal take based on experience.

youngmack said:

Yeah what are the signals?

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You guys can't say you haven't ever seen the signals before. Especially those who go on this site, you should all definitely have at least an idea of what they are.
Strong eye contact - You have to be a man and maintain eye contact, if you look away immediately, thats a **** test and you just failed.
If she looks away and you notice her look back at you. BOOM go and talk to her right now, just think of her mental process that she had to be thinking to do that, look at a guy, look away then look back? Your not going to talk to her after that?

Eye contact + Smile - ....Do I really need to explain this one?

Dancing within close proximity to you - ....Dont think that girls dont pay attention to where they're dancing and who's around. They're not idiots.

Talking loudly with there friends, loud enough so that you over hear the conversation - Again, quite obvious. Although they could be drunk and blabbering, but at this point she's even easier.

Still guys, there are tons of signs, I understand club game is hard. I find it hard myself. The thing thats hard about it is choosing the girls YOU want to talk to but in the club girls are choosing you constantly and if you guys aren't aware of this i'm shocked.

Club game is caveman. Your intelligence doesnt matter here and if you act too smart/talk about the wrong topics when you do talk ( ones that require brains ) girls might even find that a turn off.
Some girls go to clubs to pick up and some go to just be with there friends but its not hard to see the line. I can't think of any girl thats expecting to meet her next husband or boyfriend at a club, so keep that in mind.

OP when you said you tried following what your friend did I'm assuming A) you werent looking for any of the signs above before moving into a girl.
B) approaching from behind a girl is extremely bad.
C) your body might have been moving close to her, but your body language must not have had the confidence or the aura of fun around it that you friend had. You cant go up to a set sweating and thinking "this **** isnt going to work, what am I doing" Or "Here goes nothing.."
You have to go in there and your body has to sell what you're doing.

Club game is hard, I knowguys that are JUST good at club game but completely botch when they have to talk, and guys on this site, most of them are the opposite.
But I do believe that a DJ must know both sides, because once you know club game you have complete control over your body language, do you know how powerful that is?

Op have a look here:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=194786

It took me months of suffering and rejection but after dozens and dozens of attempts I usually get numbers 8 nights out of 10, make out sessions the same night half the times and one night stands with a different girl once a month.
Im no model(probably a 6.5 in look) so what works for me would work for normal guys either.

Ok yeah, I thought there were some more subtle signs you guys were on about, the problem is you have to get the IOI's in the first place.

If none of them are giving you the signs then your kinda stuck.

Eternal_water said:

If none of them are giving you the signs then your kinda stuck.

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It gets even harder if the girls are way outnumbered which is very common to see at clubs. Also you need to know how to dance without looking stupid. This stuff aint easy!

I live in a college town , and the club around here is pretty dead for now until the fall semester starts up again , so the last few nights have been pretty pointless , ive been turned down before they even look at me , so im taking a break from it for a bit , but what ive learned is this , smiles , eye contact , and how closely they move to you , eveyr woman is very aware what part of her body touches you as she walks past , accidental tit or ass brushes are rare

Ratio wise it was actually in my favour. At a guess I'd say 45% guys 55% girls. So that wasn't an issue. Just no IOI's no openings.

Will have to read up a load of club material and try again.

Eternal_water said:

...the problem is you have to get the IOI's in the first place. If none of them are giving you the signs then your kinda stuck.

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Is it really that none of them are giving you positive IOIs, or are you just ignoring the women most likely to give them to you?

While we would all love to walk into a night club and snag the hottest b*tches in there, it's just not possible for everyone. In the club scene especially, you have to be realistic with yourself and your looks. It's a shallow scene. If you consider yourself a 7, those are the types of women you should be targeting, not so much exclusively, but certainly most often.

Not all women get the IOIs they want either. All of the girls in the house would love to catch the eye of the best looking guy in the place, but those guys are ignoring most of these women because they're focused on the hottest hotties prancing around.

Be honest with yourself, focus on the women in your league, and then build on that success as you improve yourself. Other than that, if you're just not getting IOIs at all, from any women at all, then you're pretty much out of your league in a night club atmosphere. There's nothing wrong with that. It just means clubs aren't your thing and you'd be better off elsewhere. I know quite a few good looking guys who usually fared well but failed in the night clubs because it just wasn't their strong suit.