Need a crystal ball

I have been kinda rocky with my girlfriend the last month we officially got back together last night. We began dating after she got out of an abusive relationship with a guy 9 years older than her for a year. We have been together for 6months. Her family hates him, and they will disown her for talking to him. He has stretched ears and tattoos. Im what you would call a typical nice guy but im trying to change and win this one. He lives in a different state but would come visit her. When she started to get weird and needed space she got a tattoo and some piercings. It made me kind of wary of her talking to him. She changed her number to get away from him. When we got back together she left her email open at my house.... He emailed her a picture and told her he did rehab. It had been two months since they talked he made that clear. he is a huge drunk. He sent it the day before she got her tattoo. In the next two days her best friend was friends with him on facebook. She posted some pictures of herself through her friends facebook she dosent have one. Anyhow I got the full transcript of the emails and after two months not talking to that abusive guy she hated and she emailed him a picture of herself back, and said she has a tattoo now and she pierced her nipples.... She waited two weeks to write him back. I think she got the tattoo to impress him. She then gives him her number and tells him to call from his friends phone cause she had his number blocked and sorry. Then emails stop for a few days and she is flat out rejecting him when they start back up and she finally told him about me. Then he sent two more mails begging for her back. She ignored them and the day she got the last one is the night we got officially back together, so why did she take me back if she loves him? He is begging for her back. Why is she back with me, if all signs point to her still having feelings for him?What do you think will happen??? What should I do? She is my girlfriend as of right now. Things went really good last night and she seems to have rejected him. Was it just a road bump and things will get better now? (SORRY SO LONG)

I would say the odds are against you on this one.

While it is POSSIBLE that she is done with this guy and into you, I wouldn't get attached to this girl.

1. Girls don't just lose their appetite for bad boys overnight. It can take years, if it even happens at all.

2. This guy will continue to try to contact her. It takes a very strong female to go completely no contact with a psycho ex and not let herself get sucked back into his web.

3. She still has some feelings for him, especially since she got a tattoo and nipple piercings for him. So I doubt she's strong enough for #2.

Don't get attached and be prepared to walk (or run).

That is kinda how I feel, and im distancing myself. Can I do anything to win her over? Why did she get back with me? I feel like she got back with me in response to him begging for her, so he still is in control of her....... Im kinda shocked about it. He just moved a lot closer and his band is doing well. He was 8 hours away now he 3. He got a free house from his grandmother... I feel kinda screwed. I should be dead in the water, but why didnt she take him back? She went that far with him and then left him hanging and came back. That is what I dont get. We have a great relationship besides this ex. He always ruins her life. He is a drunk 29 year old dating a 20 year old girl. Im 21. Her family loves me and our relationship is normal. Do you think she will write him back after getting back with me?

after her tattoo makeover she is starting to look like him even............

nomoreniceguy12 said:

I have been kinda rocky with my girlfriend the last month we officially got back together last night. We began dating after she got out of an abusive relationship with a guy 9 years older than her for a year. We have been together for 6months. Her family hates him, and they will disown her for talking to him. He has stretched ears and tattoos. Im what you would call a typical nice guy but im trying to change and win this one. He lives in a different state but would come visit her. When she started to get weird and needed space she got a tattoo and some piercings. It made me kind of wary of her talking to him. She changed her number to get away from him.

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This, my friend, is what we call "dumpster diving".

I'm sure she's a nice kid and all, but let's be real - your girlfriend has more issues than an episode of Jerry Springer. Why sign yourself up for this? Are the pickins that slim?

Even if she does truly like you, just the fact that I knew that a girlfriend's previous boyfriend was some drug abusing, alcoholic, verbally-abusive, tattooed-up weirdo....I'd be thinking to myself, "Wait that piece of garbage was banging you for a year...and now I'm dating you?"

Why is she back with me, if all signs point to her still having feelings for him?

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Because she's a woman. And from the sounds of it, one of the crazier types of woman. So whether she's serious about you or not, there's no way she's going to allow herself to be single. Girls like this collect boyfriends like pokemon cards. Then, they trade up once something better comes available. It's called branch-swinging....look it up.

What do you think will happen??? What should I do? She is my girlfriend as of right now. Things went really good last night and she seems to have rejected him. Was it just a road bump and things will get better now?

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It might just be a bump in the road...but don't kid yourself, there are more coming. This isn't the type of girl you settle down with. Abusive ex bf. Spontaneous piercings. Drama. She sounds like a rebellious 14 year old from an alcoholic family. And look at yourself, and what you've turned into...resorting to snooping through her emails to see where your relationship stands. That's no way to live your life.

Maybe you're young and lovesick or whatever, but I'd never advise someone to stay with this type of girl. There's just too much baggage here. I've never met either of you, but I can see it from here.

(SORRY SO LONG)

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It's not that long, but it would REALLY help if you broke this up into paragraphs. It's just a wall of letters right now. Hard to read.

Thanks man. Sorry, about the grammar. hard day to face facts. We are still together but I feel like she will cave in and go back to him. She seems to just use me as an emotional tampon. Will she go back to him?

This one's over brah. Why is she choosing you over him right now? Well, he lives too far away, she can get her attention met from you (physically and emotionally) easily, and her family hates him. If he moved to the area I'd be willing to bet this is a different story. There is a clear schism in her romantic interests. YOU are the nice guy. HE is the a$$hole. You're established as such, as is he. Even though he grovels for a little while, she knows he isn't really like that and will always be a d!ck. Even though you try and up your alpha game, she knows you are still beta and can have you around her finger.

She gets tattoos for this dude, sends him pictures of her nipples (?), and emails/tells him to continue to try and reach out to her. You stay with her....why? If you want to cement yourself in her mind as an alpha, walk away from her. NOW. Never turn back. Let her be with the tatted up dude who is a carefree loser with an alcohol dependency. If you can't see you are better than this guy then you need to start with your own self improvement.

This chick honestly sounds like a spoiled princess rebelling against her parents just for getting more attention, negative or positive. People will attribute this to women just simply being women, but there comes a point when returning and keeping in touch with an abusive ex is no longer just being a woman, but actually being psychotic. It's best to free yourself from this chick before she drags you in any deeper to her web of psychotic lies.

nomoreniceguy12 said:

Thanks man. Sorry, about the grammar. hard day to face facts. We are still together but I feel like she will cave in and go back to him. She seems to just use me as an emotional tampon. No strategy to make this work? Should I even still date her?

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I could never recommend dating her.

Here's the thing about dating. ALL dating. It's supposed to be fun. If you gotta stress about it....if you gotta read her emails...if you gotta think about some ex bf...it's not fun.

The type of effort you've put into this...I could understand it if we're talking about a six-figure salary job. Or political power. Or family. Or your own business. You know...stuff that matters. But just some girl? Some crazy girl with terrible taste in men? Why? 5 years from now you're not even gonna remember her name.

There's nothing she's adding to your life that can't be replaced by a girl with less baggage. Hell, even if she is turning the corner and trying to fix her life...I'm not wasting my time "fixing" girls. I'm only dating fully-put-together women. They're hard enough to deal with. You're getting in the middle of a mess. And for what?

It was a sexy picture but no nudity she just told him about them. This is it minus the pic...
"started my sleeve. i have a grand total of 11 piercings... including my nipples.
i tried to text you a bit ago and realized you blocked my number and added aziza
on face****. im glad you're doing well but you did it all without me. good job
dude, high five"

by the last email he is begging pretty pathetically and she is turning him down like the Ice Queen, and she asked me to be official again. After telling him no and she had a boyfriend.

nomoreniceguy12 said:

by the last email he is begging pretty pathetically and she is turning him down like the Ice Queen, and she asked me to be official again. After telling him no and she had a boyfriend.

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Do what you gotta do, buddy. You're your own man. But keep your eyes open.

I just dont want to toss 6 months. It was so good besides this.he is still 3 hours away you know. I fear what might happen to her if she falls back to him. He wants her to move to his new house. He is really abusive and has been to jail a few times.

just read all of this again. Im a fool hahaha. Guess its just that shock. Thanks for helping me guys. Im 2nd best and he will always be number one dirt bag or not. He just lives out of area. She will end up caving in and ill be screwed. Im going to try and sleep with her and dump her. Bet she wont she that coming.

nomoreniceguy12 said:

just read all of this again. Im a fool hahaha. Guess its just that shock. Thanks for helping me guys. Im 2nd best and he will always be number one dirt bag or not. He just lives out of area. She will end up caving in and ill be screwed. Im going to try and sleep with her and dump her. Bet she wont she that coming.

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Whoa. Wait. Does this mean you haven't slept with her?

Iceberg said:

Whoa. Wait. Does this mean you haven't slept with her?

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Hope not. That would be epic.

nomoreniceguy12 said:

I just dont want to toss 6 months. It was so good besides this.he is still 3 hours away you know. I fear what might happen to her if she falls back to him. He wants her to move to his new house. He is really abusive and has been to jail a few times.

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What about YOUR safety, in case he starts threatening you too?

I havent she said he raped her and we have been waiting....... She says she was molested by a neighbor aslo her dad is a drunk to ............................ can I get any of myself back here.

Or the first time they did it she only did it cause she thought he would rape her is what she said... here is the last email he sent her the 3rd one she didnt write back to.

"I spent the last few months in rehab centers, studios, and gyms(as of today dropping 30 damn pounds). None of it was close to easy. I did it all to show that I love you. Know one is as caring or loving as you.I worked so ****ing hard. I went and started our dream life without you and it makes me sick. I got us a 5 bedroom house in one of the most popular cities in the country(only 2.5 hours from Vegas) moved my band all to try and make you happy. To prove I love you. Left my old self behind for a chance just to get you back. I did all this so I could come to you sober and share all my hard work with the person I love the most.YOU. I really meant every word I ever told you. You mean the ****ing world to me. I have never come close to loving another person the way I do you. I feel so lost without you. This is the lowest point of my life. I have never begged anyone for anything. Please give me another chance to prove myself. I will not let you down this time. Here is some pictures of the house. I thought maybe you would want to see it. I got it for you, and I have my Durango back. My Mom is kinda really wealthy she let me get the house early. when we were planning your summer visit I told her I wanted it. It was going to be a surprise when you came for vacation. im so depressed. I dont let anyone talk to my mom. That is why its such a big deal. ................. Im not ****ing joking around I really did all this stuff, and I did it for you. If that isnt love I dont really know what more I can do. I love you infinity. Love isnt a choice and my heart wants you."

Can I do anything to help her and get my life back? I also lied about our ages. We are 18 and he is 29. I didnt want it in the High school section. He was sleeping with her when she was 17. Her parents have tried to have him arrested, but its legal here. He dumped her and cheated on her and thats when I took her to prom in May. Now he is back.

Judge nismo is very disappointed. You need a crystal ball thrown at your empty head!

Iceberg said:

Because she's a woman. And from the sounds of it, one of the crazier types of woman. So whether she's serious about you or not, there's no way she's going to allow herself to be single. Girls like this collect boyfriends like pokemon cards. Then, they trade up once something better comes available. It's called branch-swinging....look it up.

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This b**ch had a 1st edition mint condition Holographic Charizard and you're just a common Fire type energy card. She can get a booster pack and there might be 2 in there. Not the Charizard. Charizard is fly, he makes women hot, and can kick your ass.

Stop wanting to be captain save-a-ho. She rejected you a long time ago. She's just now telling you that the ex is still in the picture. What women say and do are lightyears apart. Love IS a choice. She's not choosing you. Women don't give a f**k about your feelings. Your princess is CLEARLY in another castle. You shoulda been badass yourself. To women, bad boys who get convicted of violent crimes are sexy.

You are guilty of failure to maintain the frame, being pu$$y whipped, failure to have options, failure to understand that women's options are damn infinite, impersonating captain save-a-ho, illegal use of a love letter, showing you have few options, failure to maintain attraction, unauthorized use of a pedestal, failure to read signs, failure to f**k, email stalking, and putting your needs on the backburner.

Women never stay single by choice. Move on RIGHT THE F**K NOW! That's the best thing that is for you. It's over. Salvaging this is a snowball's chance in hell and more trouble than it's worth. Run away and never return. If you already did, I commend you.

Case closed. Get out of my court.

Do you really think its that bad? She is my girlfriend of a half a damn year. He texted her from a texting program like 20 times yesterday begging and she told him go away and she is taken. He lives 3 hours away used to be 8. Do you really think she will leave her family and me for a crazy stalker?? Thanks for all the honesty. I know im not a bad boy, but she could have him if she wanted.