Hi guys,
From my experience in being dumped over the years from LTR's, for various reason's ranging from "I love you, but i'm not in love with you any more" to "It's not you, it's me", Cheating, and loads of other BS reasons in between. I wanted to create a simple post from all my experience in how to deal with breakups.
I hope this helps you guys who are going through pain at the moment. By applying these guidelines, they will help you get over your heartbreak much faster, and also help you grow as a man.
The core principles of being a DJ can never be forgotten, and I always refer to the DJ bible in times of heartbreak or guidance. I have made mistakes from LTR's, and the journey to where I'm now hasn't been easy. You live, you learn.
Some people learn the hard way, I know I have. But that doesn't mean one should quit. Now this is YOUR time. Be selfish, and start learning to love YOURSELF!
I hope this helps.
HBK's Guidelines for getting over a Breakup.
1. Firstly acceptance.
yes: That means she's gone dude! and Odd's are shes not coming back! Even if she wants to come back in the future, and says she made a huge mistake, the odds are she hasn't changed. It will never be the same. Trust is very hard to earn back. By then, you won't want her anyway, and will have moved on to bigger and better things. It's time to take her off her pedestal. She has dumped you once, and she will not hesitate to do it again. I have learned this lesson the hard way. Trust me on this. I don't do friendship with my Ex's, but that's my choice. Friendship is possible, if you desire it. But it will not be until a long long time has passed, where both peoples emotions have died, and both have moved on with their lives. Looking back now, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.)
2. No Contact.
(This is very Important.That means no calls, FB stalking, texting, emails, anything! You are too emotional now, and not thinking with your head. Delete her off FB, and her number , email etc. It's hard, but it needs to be done to save your sanity. If you have mutual friends on FB, remove their updates. Your ex is now single, or has moved on to some other guy, and will soon is already sleeping with other guys, and will date etc. You don't need to know what she is up to! If she contacts you, it will be mostly out of guilt, to check in, and she doesn't want you to hate her. This is a female trick where they want to have their cake and eat it at the same time. Women don't like to think they are hated. Show her indifference. Don't give her the satisfaction of soothing her ego by replying, just to let her know she still has you by the balls and can have you whenever she wants. For the love of God, do not tell her "i will always be there for you". If you see her on the street or a night out, just smile and walk on. Come to the site if you have any questions. There is great guidelines on this site to No Contact. So just Ignore her.)
3. Spend more time with my family and friends.
(Now is a great time to improve relationships with family members and mates, that you may have cut contact with during the relationship. Talk to your family and friends, and listen to them. They will be honest with you, and help you. Come to Sosuave and share your thoughts etc. We will always help and advise.)
4. Hit the gym full on!!!!
(Very important. You need to get out of the house. Not only does working out make you feel good about yourself it is a good way to let off a little steam and regaining confidence. Not to mention you may see your ex again someday, let her see what she has lost. Hit the weights, plenty of great material on this site about improving your health and fitness. Now, If going to the gym isn't your thing, NO EXCUSES!!!! get running, cycling, walking, swimming. You need to be active. Getting up and going to work, coming home, making dinner and spending your evening's alone in your room playing PS3 Xbox is not the way to recovery.)
5. Make small goals for yourself, and complete them.
( It's time to build your confidence and self esteem again. Focus on Career goals, Read a book, learn a new language, learn to play an Instrument, new hobbies, DIY, Gym, volunteer work, doing up your Car/Motorbike etc)
6. Get out again and start meeting new people.
(Very important. Now it's time to turn off your Laptop, get out of your room and start having fun. Try to avoid Alcohol and drugs and cigarettes. These are all depressants, so drinking alone in a bar, will make your emotions and coping skills much worse. With dating, Start slow and don't jump in head first. Make sure these new women live up to your standards, don't just settle for second best. Rebounding is not an option, so don't drag some poor somebody into a relationship, when your not ready. NB: Do not talk about your Ex with other women! They don't want to hear this, unless their just friends. Attraction level will be instantly gone. Be single, embrace it! This is the best time of your life. 100% Freedom to do what you want. It's time to be a DJ again, but this time a sexier and most important a wiser one.)
7. listen to your gut and be honest in self reflection
(This is what your doing right now. As time will go by, and your emotions calm down, you will begin to think clearly, and look at the relationship from a neutral point of view. It wasn't ALL her fault ok! Look at yourself and ask, have you self esteem issues, are you co-dependant, was i clingy and needy... what have i learnt from this, how can i prevent making the same mistake again????? Read the DJ Bible section on relationships. Turn this negative into a positive, and try to learn from your mistakes)
8. Read new books and appreciate new idea's
(Self improvement books, not just PUA material. There is nothing like a good book to take a persons mind off other things going on. I would recommend "The way of the superior man by David Deida". It's an excellent read about Adult male maturity. It's important to give up a way of thinking or an outdated moral that hasn't served you well in the past. Quit your stubbornness for once and for all, and let go of your fears. It's time to man up.)
9. Travel
(Anywhere, just get away for a while. Do things you have always postponed or made excuses. Now is a great chance to explore the world, or maybe your just own country. Is there a mountain you always wanted to climb, a sea you always wanted to surf, a place you always wanted to fish, a city you wanted to visit.??? DO IT!!! Ask a friend if you don't want to go alone. It's a great way to meet new people, and build confidence.)
10. When going through hell, keep going!!!
(If you make mistakes, it's ok. You are human. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keeping going. There is light at the end of the tunnel. By applying these guidelines, I now have the life I desired. I'm happy and wiser and have met somebody new and wonderful. I hope these help you, and best of luck in the future.)
From my experience in being dumped over the years from LTR's, for various reason's ranging from "I love you, but i'm not in love with you any more" to "It's not you, it's me", Cheating, and loads of other BS reasons in between. I wanted to create a simple post from all my experience in how to deal with breakups.
I hope this helps you guys who are going through pain at the moment. By applying these guidelines, they will help you get over your heartbreak much faster, and also help you grow as a man.
The core principles of being a DJ can never be forgotten, and I always refer to the DJ bible in times of heartbreak or guidance. I have made mistakes from LTR's, and the journey to where I'm now hasn't been easy. You live, you learn.
Some people learn the hard way, I know I have. But that doesn't mean one should quit. Now this is YOUR time. Be selfish, and start learning to love YOURSELF!
I hope this helps.
HBK's Guidelines for getting over a Breakup.
1. Firstly acceptance.
yes: That means she's gone dude! and Odd's are shes not coming back! Even if she wants to come back in the future, and says she made a huge mistake, the odds are she hasn't changed. It will never be the same. Trust is very hard to earn back. By then, you won't want her anyway, and will have moved on to bigger and better things. It's time to take her off her pedestal. She has dumped you once, and she will not hesitate to do it again. I have learned this lesson the hard way. Trust me on this. I don't do friendship with my Ex's, but that's my choice. Friendship is possible, if you desire it. But it will not be until a long long time has passed, where both peoples emotions have died, and both have moved on with their lives. Looking back now, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.)2. No Contact.
(This is very Important.That means no calls, FB stalking, texting, emails, anything! You are too emotional now, and not thinking with your head. Delete her off FB, and her number , email etc. It's hard, but it needs to be done to save your sanity. If you have mutual friends on FB, remove their updates. Your ex is now single, or has moved on to some other guy, and will soon is already sleeping with other guys, and will date etc. You don't need to know what she is up to! If she contacts you, it will be mostly out of guilt, to check in, and she doesn't want you to hate her. This is a female trick where they want to have their cake and eat it at the same time. Women don't like to think they are hated. Show her indifference. Don't give her the satisfaction of soothing her ego by replying, just to let her know she still has you by the balls and can have you whenever she wants. For the love of God, do not tell her "i will always be there for you". If you see her on the street or a night out, just smile and walk on. Come to the site if you have any questions. There is great guidelines on this site to No Contact. So just Ignore her.)
3. Spend more time with my family and friends.
(Now is a great time to improve relationships with family members and mates, that you may have cut contact with during the relationship. Talk to your family and friends, and listen to them. They will be honest with you, and help you. Come to Sosuave and share your thoughts etc. We will always help and advise.)
4. Hit the gym full on!!!!
(Very important. You need to get out of the house. Not only does working out make you feel good about yourself it is a good way to let off a little steam and regaining confidence. Not to mention you may see your ex again someday, let her see what she has lost. Hit the weights, plenty of great material on this site about improving your health and fitness. Now, If going to the gym isn't your thing, NO EXCUSES!!!! get running, cycling, walking, swimming. You need to be active. Getting up and going to work, coming home, making dinner and spending your evening's alone in your room playing PS3 Xbox is not the way to recovery.)
5. Make small goals for yourself, and complete them.
( It's time to build your confidence and self esteem again. Focus on Career goals, Read a book, learn a new language, learn to play an Instrument, new hobbies, DIY, Gym, volunteer work, doing up your Car/Motorbike etc)
6. Get out again and start meeting new people.
(Very important. Now it's time to turn off your Laptop, get out of your room and start having fun. Try to avoid Alcohol and drugs and cigarettes. These are all depressants, so drinking alone in a bar, will make your emotions and coping skills much worse. With dating, Start slow and don't jump in head first. Make sure these new women live up to your standards, don't just settle for second best. Rebounding is not an option, so don't drag some poor somebody into a relationship, when your not ready. NB: Do not talk about your Ex with other women! They don't want to hear this, unless their just friends. Attraction level will be instantly gone. Be single, embrace it! This is the best time of your life. 100% Freedom to do what you want. It's time to be a DJ again, but this time a sexier and most important a wiser one.)
7. listen to your gut and be honest in self reflection
(This is what your doing right now. As time will go by, and your emotions calm down, you will begin to think clearly, and look at the relationship from a neutral point of view. It wasn't ALL her fault ok! Look at yourself and ask, have you self esteem issues, are you co-dependant, was i clingy and needy... what have i learnt from this, how can i prevent making the same mistake again????? Read the DJ Bible section on relationships. Turn this negative into a positive, and try to learn from your mistakes
)8. Read new books and appreciate new idea's
(Self improvement books, not just PUA material. There is nothing like a good book to take a persons mind off other things going on. I would recommend "The way of the superior man by David Deida". It's an excellent read about Adult male maturity. It's important to give up a way of thinking or an outdated moral that hasn't served you well in the past. Quit your stubbornness for once and for all, and let go of your fears. It's time to man up.)
9. Travel
(Anywhere, just get away for a while. Do things you have always postponed or made excuses. Now is a great chance to explore the world, or maybe your just own country. Is there a mountain you always wanted to climb, a sea you always wanted to surf, a place you always wanted to fish, a city you wanted to visit.??? DO IT!!! Ask a friend if you don't want to go alone. It's a great way to meet new people, and build confidence.)
10. When going through hell, keep going!!!
(If you make mistakes, it's ok. You are human. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keeping going. There is light at the end of the tunnel. By applying these guidelines, I now have the life I desired. I'm happy and wiser and have met somebody new and wonderful. I hope these help you, and best of luck in the future.)
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