Got the "I'll let you know" response. Ideas?

TitanSS · Mar 28, 2012

Hi, I'm new to the forum, but I've been reading the articles everyday for about a week. Yesterday, I called to ask her out on a second date next saturday.. she mulled it over in her head for a second, repeated "next saturday" a couple times and then said "I'll let you know". I replied "I'm not really a big fan of that answer" and she said "I'll let you know, I may have an FFA thing next saturday". We ended the phonecall. About 5 minutes after that I sent her a text saying "I'm actually pretty busy this week and out of town next weekend. I'll give you a call next week and we'll figure it out".. Wishing I would have said that to end the phonecall.

Any experiences with the "I'll let you know" response? What it commonly means? What I should have said? And how should I play it from here on?

A little background about the situation.. She is about 5 years younger than me, senior in highschool, with prom coming up this weekend. Last Saturday we went to a concert, there was a lot of flirting, some kino, and when I took her home i closed with a kiss. Until yesterday hadn't talked to her since that kiss.

Am I just looking way too much into it?

PapiChulo · Mar 28, 2012

It means she is most likely gonna let you know by not calling you or contacting you any other way.

ezio · Mar 28, 2012

PapiChulo said:
It means she is most likely gonna let you know by not calling you or contacting you any other way.

this

Krueg · Mar 28, 2012

From my experience, they never let me know.

bigneil · Mar 28, 2012

We already know. By the title of this thread. From experience, unfortunately.

Poonani Maker · Mar 28, 2012

W0manese for "no matter what you say/do, I'll never respect you, you're nothing to me, I wouldn't care if you died...now, if your dog died I might care." Women know what they can do Saturday, unless there's nothing to be gained from going with you instead of ___ blank. She could flake too if she agrees with Saturday, usually when another dude has already presented a better case for going with him than you. Then there's having fun with her gfs, then she may need to rest and be alone to herself (but at her age, not that likely).

nismo-4 · Mar 28, 2012

Simple ass case.

I'll let you know is virtually a dressed up rejection, which is used to string a needy guy along. She already let you know that she's not interested in you.

Case dismissed. :yawn:

TitanSS · Mar 28, 2012

I'll next. Thanks!

yuppaz · Mar 28, 2012

Not trying to be a d1ck, just trying to show you how the sub communication of this all went down for you to learn from. I'm being harsh so you will remember this in the future.

Here is a translation to what happened (in her head):

You: Hey (no small talk, no warming her up...((just guessing on this)) wanna go out again next Saturday?

Her: (hmm he didn't talk to me for a while or get me excited to want to see him, so I'll say no, but in a nice way) - Hmmm I may have plans

You: I don't like hearing no, it makes me pouty and sad

Her: (ohhh crap, he seems weak and dependent on me to be happy...I'll let him down even easier, give him a more explicit excuse) - I might have a ABC thing to do

You: ok, bye

You (text): Well I'm not gonna be rejected, I'm gonna pretend that I can't make it so that SHE is the one that is rejected, even though I already told her I was available, I made plans in those 5 minutes since we talked...hehe I'll show her!

Her (in her mind) - ya I turned you down so you are acting like a child and trying to GET BACK at me or something...laime never going to talk to him again

TitanSS · Mar 28, 2012

^ I did warm her up for a bit, but i'm not great with smalltalk. And the plans were for next weekend i said i was busy this weekend, but you're right.

LMFAO · Jan 1, 2015

I got the I'll let you know line with two different girls in two days. The first one never got back to me, surprise surprise b!tch, I gave the second one a time limit and that her window is ticking to go out with a hot guy with a smily.

Best to confront it instead of playing dumb or appearing to think she's going to let you know. The best response is probably something like "ok, you have until x time or you have 60 seconds". It worked for me in the past but even this will rarely work as she is flaking from low interest. At the least by confronting her you go away from it with a smile on your face at the nonsense she throws at you.

salinechow · Jan 1, 2015

This is a good deconstruction as usual by the DJs above.

If I had the guts, I think I would have just said "ok cool" and hung up. Get the hamster spinning. However, what is the point. We all have had girls that for whatever reason, just don’t want to see us again. No big deal really.
I am reminded of another SS philosophy that real helps zoom in on reality for us. It obvious in this case.

If you are Channing Tatum do you think she says "Ill let you know" ?

If a girl is interested in you she’ll either make it work or reschedule. Otherwise, you are toast.

Also, just to help you out in the future. I think you bored her to death. I know you think you suck at small talk but you need to just risk it man. I don’t think there is anything worse than being boring. Be corny, sweet, an a$$hole, mysterious, chatty, funny, sexy, crazy... Just be anything other than unmemorablely boring.

RangerMIke · Jan 1, 2015

All good advice above. If this is the first time this has happened to you, count yourself fortunate, but this will not be the last time it happens to you. I call this the "backup date". She has other plans and you are the second choice...if the first thing does not pan out.... or a soft rejection.

Best way to handle is not to accept it. In the future just tell her up front that it sounds like she's really busy, and take the offer back. She'll do one of three things:

(1) Agree to go out (indication of interest)
(2) Say okay and offer another time (another indicator of interest)
(3) Say okay and that' it. (low interest - likely soft rejection)

If it's (3) wait a week or two and call her again, offer another date, but this time give her a range of dates, say something "When are you free for dinner next week?" If she makes excuses delete her contact info on your cell and move on. If she makes a date the game continues.

Another piece of advice is concerts are not good first dates. My guess is that she has low interest and it would have been impossible for you to determine this at a concert. She may have just gone out with you because she wanted to go to the concert.

A good first date is where you can talk and read her body language... it's like a interview. Dinner, drinks, coffee, heck anything where you can talk. Anything active is good too, bowling, golf, pool.

Harry Wilmington · Jan 1, 2015

And actually, that wasn't even the true indicator of the "no." The REAL indicator was when she said "I may have..." as in "I may have something else coming up." Most people have factual knowledge of their plans involving whatever organization they're in; however, if a girl is saying "I may have" something to do, it means she's trying to lie to you about being available but hasn't fully fleshed out the excuse yet. Like, if she really had something to go to she would have said "I'd love to, but I already have this FFA thing coming up that day." Instead, she said "I MAY have," which translates to "I'm planning to use this as my future excuse for flaking, so I'm putting it out there now so when I flake you'll think back to this reason I'm giving you now as to why I couldn't go." But in the end, you can tell it's a lie 'cause she didn't counter-offer with an alternative date.

And lastly, guy: stop taking new girls on Friday or Saturday dates. Those are date nights reserved for couples; when you ask for these nights, she's reading it as you already being uber-serious about her, which can be off-putting for a girl in the beginning. Stick to Sundays thru Thursdays if you can and you should see your results improve. Hope this helps!

Bingo-Player · Jan 1, 2015

Poonani Maker said:
W0manese for "no matter what you say/do, I'll never respect you, you're nothing to me, I wouldn't care if you died...now, if your dog died I might care." Women know what they can do Saturday, unless there's nothing to be gained from going with you instead of ___ blank. She could flake too if she agrees with Saturday, usually when another dude has already presented a better case for going with him than you. Then there's having fun with her gfs, then she may need to rest and be alone to herself (but at her age, not that likely).

i concur

VladPatton · Jan 1, 2015

It's a soft-chewy outside with a hard, poisonous center type of rejection. Erase and replace, nothing nere for you now or in the future.

Yorkex · Jan 1, 2015

It means you are back up. Don't let these broads fool you !

There is this girl I have been trying to get and she kept flaking but on new years she didn't have any plans and I had an abundance of plans.

I kept leading her on and she said come over and spend time but after looking at my other options I simply told her I will let her know.

In her words " I will let you know means , no or she is back up"

LOOOL lil sluut

EvilSpirit22 · Jan 1, 2015

The best way to tackle I'll let you know is :

You : If given a chance, Where would you take me out for a date?

Her: blah blah

You: I'll let you know if I am free on saturday if yes you can take me out but yeah i'll let you know.

Her: Ok

Flip the mother****ing spotlight. You are the Prize!

I just got a date by using the above line. And she said ok let me know if you're free on that day we'll go out on a dinner date.

LMFAO · Jan 1, 2015

The fact that this thread has over 4,000 views tells you how common this is. It's a shame many women are incapable of saying no.

The situation can be retrieved in some case. Two other possibilities are agree and exaggerate (e.g. say something relating to washing your own hair and how you agree it can take time and even the whole night) and misinterpret it to mean for example that she's too shy to go out with you and she may be too much for her to handle.

devilkingx2 · Jan 1, 2015

with women, anything that isn't a yes is a no. and if you aren't going/doing it it's not a yes.

there are two schools of thoughts on the no's that women give,

either save your pride and dignity by only asking her out once or twice without getting a yes;

or the school of thought "10 nos and a yes is still a yes";

personally I lean VERY strongly towards the former, you should probably forget about this girl, atleast you got a kiss, some don't even get that far.

Got the "I'll let you know" response. Ideas?

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