New Years EVE LR. What an insane night! LONG READ

6 number closes ,9 kiss closes, getting breast fed at the bar by a milf and a blow job on the beach. The start of 2012 was as good as it gets. Beethoven should've been behind me playing an epic sound track everywhere i went.

I wake up Saturday morning hung over as ****, with my room smelling like sex and ***** from the night before. Clothes, condoms, beer bottles and a pair of pink lace underwear across the floor haha. This is the type of **** i want to wake up to everyday haha

Me and a few boys down to the beach and spend the day just surfing and sunbathing.. normally i'm brown (Dot Indian) but after this intense tanning session i came out the other side looking like a piece of burnt toast. SEXY!
Walking down the street i walk across hb5 from last night (LR: New years EVE EVE. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1875685#post1875685) and i give her my widest- most cheesiest **** eating grin ever haha and she is way to embarrassed to look at me even though i should be the one embarrassed and she quickly scuttles away. I'm at a cafe and the girl working behind the counter is kinda familiar from last night so i chat her up a little and ask her if shes coming out tonight. She is. BING!! I ask for her number by telling her i'll pick her up in a Limo out the front of her place but if that doesn't happen i still want to see her fat ass at the bar! BING!! By the way, new years eve is HUGE in this town. EVERYONE is going to be there and last year the streets were flooded with people. underages overages SENIORS.. PACKED.

Walk over to the liquor store to get some Booze and there are 4 people at the counter. THe place is PACKED and they are busy as **** but two of them are cuties. So i get what i want and time it so the cute ones serve me.. I ask her if i get some free **** and she offers me a pair of beer goggles.. i tell her i don't need these to make her look good.. cause she already is ( HAHA CHEESY AS **** I KNOW ) and she blushed and looked down haha. I tell her i want her number so that i have someone to perve on tonight but she rejects me with the "i just met you.. i can't" line.. its all good. I smile and say i'll catch you tonight and leave.. Just as im a few meters down the road she runs up behind me and says she couldn't give me her number cause of the cameras and supervisors or some **** like that and hands me her number written on a piece of paper. BING!! I felt like cash money after that haha. My boy who i was with could not believe that just happened haha

A little more beach time and i head back home.. i see some HOT AS **** jail bait girls and i'm faced with a moral dilemma.. my **** and my conscience. What do? what do? My **** wins.. like always. But i was to slow, and my boy approaches them before me. We get closer and jesus christ these girls were hotter close up. My boy has first pick on target cause he opened, and ofc he takes the ones with the big tits, blonde and blue eyes. I talk to the second hottest one.. who is still pretty dam hot. We opened with a direction opener.. basic, but still cash. I talk to my target about her age and how i feel like a cradle snatcher just talking to her and she should stop being so adorable or i may have to report myself to the cops to keep myself off her haha. She was kinda creeped out at first but at the end i had her laughing.. my boy wasn't doing to well with his target. She kept looking at me and my target for some reason. I get my jailbaits number and decide to wing my boy with him being a fireman but its too late.. he has ****ed up so we leave.

Get back home, get on the drinks, turn up the music and just chill out till dark.
Its night and dark at around 9.30pm and we all get a lift to town. The place is ridiculous.. ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS!! I get out of the car and a single tear rolls down my eye.. i've died and gone to Pick up heaven. HOT tang everywhere.. everywhere i look girls are around.. never seen so much talent in one place since never haha and the best thing about all this? ALL OF THEM ARE DRUNK! yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah buddy!

Immediately i get my game face on and open the first group of girls i see... a 3 set. Two of them are horrible.. acne everywhere, but the third one is ****ing sexy. Something about her has tickled my fancy.. i go caveman on that ass and just flat out tell her how dam cute she is, and has something in her look that makes me go jelly. She loves it, her friends are giggling and she's calling me sweet and sexy. I say i want to kiss her and she obliges. BING!! I grab that ass like a dodgeball, HARD! and i feel her wince in pain hahahahha! Not even been in town 2 minutes and i've already gotten a kiss. I take her number down for perhaps something down the road and leave. Me and my boys catch up with Kirkys friends, who i don't know at all. One of those guys tells me that i'm going to have a rough time getting girls cause "no offence.. your black" I laugh at him and tell him hes a gimp. I kid you not, i see this kid at the end of the night sulking at the gutter almost in tears cause some girl he kissed vomited all over him HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!! You mad brah?

Anyways i ditch these guys and its just me and kirky heading to the pub. We get rushed by some cute girls who open Kirky.. he's probably one of the best looking guys i know. he's got the skater/bmx bandit bad boy look going on that ALL the girls crave. Only thing is he lacks game.. but i guess you don't need a whole lotta game when girls rub their ***** on his face in broad daylight haha. But thats another story I talk to some of these girls and it's like they are worshipping me and kirky, like we own them or something it was really strange haha. I tell them that me and kirky have been called the best kissers by the girls we've kissed ... so i tell them all that we're going to play the age game. If each one can guess our age correctly, they earn a kiss from the best kissers in town.. 2 of them guess my age correctly and the other 2 guess kirkys age correctly, so they both got some tongues down their throats. It was so bizarre, i felt like i could do anything i wanted with these girls... kinda felt unfair. Like i could violate the **** out of her in public and she would still want me.. anyone ever felt like this with any girls? Like you completely own them? Anyways, i didn't want to **** any of them as the night was young so we keep moving.

We get to the pub and i know the bouncer. Theres a line of like 40 people waiting who have to pay $30 entry, but me and my group of 8 get let in for free immediately. PLAYAAAA!! Walk in and the place is PACKED. Girls everywhere, guys everywhere, everyone having fun!
I walk to the toilet and theres a massive line for the womens. I chat up some milf hb6.5 who had GIGANTIC titties.. and i just couldn't help it.. it was like it had me hypnotized. I stared at them and asked her if she was lactating haha?? She looks at me and says she may give me some milk if i asked nicely. WHAT?! I do not believe it.. did she just say that? that line could not have worked!! i am so ****ing shocked that i start stuttering and am like "umm....ahhh.... can i please...ahhh.. have some milk?" She grabs my hand and takes me to this real dark corner of the pub where there are cubicles ... there's people around but its kind of concealed. I start making out with her and she pulls down her dress and her right titty flops out. like literally jump out like they wanted some air. I suck on those melons like a new born.. i don't give a **** if anyone is watching, i love my boobs. She stops me after what felt like an eternity, but was probably 30 seconds haha i ask her how this all happened and how i got so lucky and she said she has a serious fetish for dreadlocks and would do almost anything for a guy with one. BING!! I love my hair During all of this her tit is stilL out lol but I couldn't really see them properly cause of the darkness so i get my phone out and shine some light on it just to get a better look. I think she thought i was trying to take a picture or something and slapped the phone out of hand and yelled at me calling me a sick **** She pushes me out of the cubicle on my ass and im left searching for my phone while the future mother of my children storms of. ****!! All of my rage.. alcohol makes you do stupid things. Whatever **** it.

I find my boys and tell them what happened and they go crazy! None of them believe what happened haha can you blame them? until one of the guys whose a local said that there is a milf around town who has a fetish for dreads with big tits. Now they kinda believe me. Carry on now.

I feel like a god right about now.. i just picked up a few girls outside the bar, and sucked on a good pair of tits in the bar. I am Giacomo Cassanova. Arrogance is oozing out of my skin haha!

Walk onto the d-floor and just let loose with the beats. We're all having fun, my boys have been kissing girls as well and we're having a good time! A random girl knocks me in the arm and asks if i've seen her friend and i say no.. but you're cute. give me your number. She gives it to me. BING!! (Later the next night i drunk dial her and troll the **** out of her saying some **** about jizzing on her tampon and mouth ****ing her parrot haha) Brofists and props everywhere. Start dancing a little more and i see the Liquor store girl who gave me her number nearby.. i go upto her and dance with her a little, a bit of hard grinding and kissing before she has to go and "find her friends". Okay then. Dance with my boys again and a blonde comes out of nowhere and starts dancing right next to me. I take this as que for me to rub my hands all over her body from behind and dirty dance the **** out of her. I mean why else would she dance right next to me out of all places?! She turns around and she has got the most beautiful eyes i've ever seen.. AMAZING. She kisses me and i gladly kiss back. We make out for a little while and i feel her hand on my ass and her finger pushing up my ass, WTF? i gently grab her hand to move it away and i feel thick hair. WTF NUMBER 2?? I turn around and its my boy Michael shoving his finger up my ass hahaha creepy mother****er hahah i push him off and in the mean time she scuttles away. I laugh it off and head to the bar when i see the Milk shake parlour girl whose number i got earlier today.. i talk to her for a bit and i get a gentle peck on the lips but nothing more .. i tell her that at midnight I will be kissing her and she agrees. There's about 10 minutes till midnight and i'm set. Time comes and the blonde with blue eyes is back and dancing on me.. i quickly look around and scan the d-floor for Milkshake parlour girl but i can't see her.. The dj is counting down and its at 5-4-3-2-1-0. and i say ****it and just kiss blondie.. was a ****ing good kiss to! We make out for another 5 minutes and for the second time tonight i get the "has to find her friends" excuse (**** this excuse haha). I see milk shake parlour looking at me and i feel really bad.. i go upto her and say im sorry and she doesn't say a word and storms off.. ahh man i'm a jerk! she was really really sweet and had such a nice smile.. oh well!

I see one of the girls who i was dancing with earlier but was kinda teasing me, but she was ****ing hot hb8. I talk to her.. she is really arrogant acting like an alpha male , real ****y and isn't giving me much at all and is also swearing alot so i ask her "do you kiss your mother with that filthy mouth, you dirty *****" and i don't know what happened but right after i called her a ***** she did a 180 on me and became real receptive.. her body language opened up, and she started smiling more.. so i thought if swearing worked, why not continue with it haha so i started dropping the f-bomb in convo and called her a slut and i think at one stage i called her a *** rag.. the rag they use to wipe *** of pornstars faces hahahaha and she just burst out laughing. I proceeded to kiss her right after that.. weird as ***** haha.. hot though.

Soon after the place is shutting down and we all head out.. theres still a whole lot of traffic around town cause no one wants to go home yet. The only place in town's licence allows it to only be open till 1.30 am.. which is bull**** but that just means the town is packed. I see a hb9 i ****ed and had oneites for a while back with her friend sitting by themselves and i go up and start talking to them.. her friend is just as hot if not hotter but my girl has a bf now and is not very receptive to me. I see a little group a few meters next to us so i go up and start talking to them, its about 4 guys and 3 girls. One of them is TOTALLY my type, beautiful smile, amazing eyes, blonde, bubbley and a total babe. hb8 for sure! I start talking to her for a bit when my boy Michael comes in out of nowhere and points at me and tells her im black and have aids. WHAT THE **** MAN?! HAHAHAHAHHAHA! i find it so dam random and retarded and start laughing my ass off.. i don't quite remmber what she said but i think it didn't affect her that much. Michael had pointed her out before to me, so i let him talk to her for a bit as i talk to the guys. As im talking to the guys about some mutual friends, i over hear michael go to the hb8 'i seem to have lost my number... ummm... can i ..ahhh.. have yours?" lol dude for real? You used THAT line? really?! haha i just burst out laughing and she goes "sorry i don't give my number to strangers" Unlucky. Michael walks away with his tail tucked under his legs haha and i follow him laughing at his pathetic attempt haha he tells me shes a really nice girl and isn't the type of girl who would kiss random strangers and i'm like okay pal haha . I'm back with my former oneits hb9 and im talking to her when she starts smoking.. she had told me she doesn't smoke and is a good girl, but she acts all trashy by asking everyone she sees for a light. Turned me off big time so i get angry and start abusing her.. i think it was just pent up anger of her having sex with me and leading me on for a relationship and the next week having a boyfriend that made ee be real mean to her, but im no shrink haha. I felt really bad next morning but oh well.

I leave angry and go back to the hb8's group.. she's sitting down on the pavement. ATTENTION: THIS PICKUP RIGHT HERE HAS GOT TO BE ONE OF MY PROUDEST MOMENTS. Shes sitting on the pavement and i crouch in front of her and start talking to her, shes not real receptive at all and is kinda of down. She isn't really replying to much of conversation and her body language is all closed.. no smiles no laughs and i'm just about to call it quits. I ask her if she has had a good new years and she replies with no and that its actually been quite ****. I take her hands into mine and stand up and pull her up with me and she asks what im doing? I tell her im going to try to make her new years a little bit better by teaching her how to do a bit of salsa haha. She's a bit hesitant at first. I place her hands on my wasit and grab her other hand straight and place my hand on her waist and start doing 1-2step movements. I tell her "i have never ever done salsa in my life.. i have no ****ing clue what im doing haha I'm just taking steps " and she just bursts out laughing haha. I continue the steps a few more times and do the classic PUA twirls. I let her twirl me a few times and i twirl her a few times and we do the 1-2 step again and she is having a blast, just laughing and laughing haha. The whole randomness of salsa at 3 in the morning, with no music by someone who has no clue what he's doing is funny haha. By this time i have her real close to me, holding her tightly.. i can feel her tits on my chest and my hand is pretty much on her ass.. i can feel her breathing, i do one more twirl and she ends up with her back to me and i hold her there. I kiss her neck and i hear moan and feel her tremble and i twirl her again and this time she's facing me, my hand is pretty much on her ass and i'm looking real deep into her eyes and i kiss her. We kiss for a good 5 minutes.. i can feel all her friends looking at me and i see my former oneitis looking at me.. feelgood.jpg After the kiss she looks at me and says that i just made her new years so much better and that she'll never forgive me.. BING!! So i decide i'm going to go over to her place.. my boys are all ladyless so they all go home and the sober one tells me to give him a ring when i want to get picked up. I'm walking up the street with her and her friends when she stops and just looks at me.. i know whats up, i'm not getting any tonight haha. I say thats fair enough and leave, i try for a kiss but don't even get that.. i don't know where i ****ed up for that to happen, i think her friends being there could've been a big factor but oh well..

I go and sit down at a bench and give my buddy a call to come pick me up. As i'm waiting, these three girls come and sit a bit away from me and start talking amongst themselves about random **** about how Laura is such a slut and how Amy's father has a disgusting beard. what the **** haha? i interrupt and say "what's wrong with a beard? You can put your keys in one if its long enough!" That gets them laughing.. i hear one of them whisper "omg does he have dreads?" I tell them to come sit next to me and they all oblige. The fat ugly one of the group asks me if those are dreads and i say yes. She whispering to her friend about how hot i am and tells me i'm beautiful.. all of the girls are giggling. I look at the hottest one of the group and she has jet black dyed hair.. which i like alot! She's probably a hb6 but that hair makes her a 7 for me haha. I talk to her for a bit and then turn away from the group with my back to the table and tell hb7 to come sit in front of me. She obliges like she's my slave and i'm King Xerxes. I talk to her about some **** again but i forget.. halfway through conversation i turn to the group and say " i really want to kiss someone right now" and like a ****ing student hb7 puts her hand up and is like "do you want to kiss me?" like she was pleading.. so im like okay why not and i kiss her. Something about the kiss made me take a second look at her, and she looked really young.. like suspiciously young.. so i ask her how old she was and she was ****ing 15... AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! The **** about Amy's dads beard and the constant giggling should've had alarm bells ringing and the hand shooting up and pleading for a kiss should have made me realize!! I was like "You're 15?!?! ****" and i just get up and get the **** out of there haha..


A few minutes down the road, the traumatizing underage incident and horrors of getting butt-raped by a fat albert named big daddy were slowly disappearing. I look at my phone and i have a text from hbGroup from the Friday night asking where i was so i call her.. turns out she's with a few friends just down the road at the beach from where i am .. i tell her i'm coming to see her. Just then my boy Mitch comes to pick me up, i tell him to park the car here and to come with me cause we're about to get some. He is down.. we walk down the road to the beach and catch up with them. HbGroup introduces me and mitch to the group.. one of the girls there is FINE as ****! and i am so tempted, but i know i have a sure thing here with hbGroup. We're all talking and everyone enjoying mine and mitches company, Mitch is telling a story about our time in Thailand. As this story is going on me and hbGroup are having a little secret party of her own.. she's been rubbing my ass all along and ive been rubbing hers, but i start dry-fingering her. I push my middle and index finger from behind and under into her ***** if that makes sense. If anyone has seen the Inbetweeners movie, i was feeding the pony I could feel her moaning and breathing heavier ,i move my hand to her waist and put my hands down her shorts and start rubbing her ass, and start rubbing her *******, and push lower and start rubbing the end of her *****, she is really really wet. It was real dark and the group is big and everyones attention was on Mitch so no one knew what was going on here. My girl is soaking wet and takes me out of there down the beach to a little secluded spot. She pushes me up against a tree and we start heavily making out and i take her top off and start sucking on her tits as im fingering her.. I make her suck the fingers i put in her ***** and it gets her even hornier lol she takes mny pants off and starts sucking me off.. shes down there a solid 5-10 minutes doing her job like a boss. The sun is slowly coming up and the sky is all orange and purple and **** and all i could think of was "**** YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The new year begins with me getting my **** sucked while watching the sunrise. I felt kind of bad for HbGroup cause she had to see my dirty black **** and nuts bouncing on her chin while i got to see this glorious view. oh well haha .

Soon enough her friends come looking for her, and we had to quickly get dressed. It was getting quite late and they all had to go home so i hug my girl good bye. She tried to kiss me, but no ****ing way im kissing her so i settle for a small peck!


So there you have it guys, my new years. Was a ****ing insane two nights and that much ridiculous **** happened, i could tell you alot of other **** that happened that didn't involve girls if anyone wanted to know, includes stealing **** and cops and condoms. I had SO MUCH FUN! and the everyone could just feed off my energy. I'm not a real high energy guy, but what i do have, MY MAIN WEAPON is that i am funny. I come up with just random **** that makes girls laugh, plus i back it up with being confident and sexual. Plus i think i am reasonably good looking.
Tell me what you guys think. Thanks


PS. I ended up calling every number i got the next day and just trolled them all. Told a few of them that i'd jizz on their tampons and fart on their pillows or I'd swap their toothpaste for *** or my favorite of how i grew up in a circus as a child and my dad used to make the elephants **** me with their trunks. hahah i'm twisted..
I saw one of these girls while i was grocery shopping and i just had the biggest grin on my face when she saw me hahaha she looked down and slowly turned the other way and walked off. ahhh AWKWARD!

any feedback would be awesome guys. Thanks

I got 2 makeouts and one kiss from different girls. I thought I had a good night lol.

SamTheHobit, this was a crazy weekend all up man haha. Check out my other LR too

Sorry for all the censorship. The original forum where i posted this on doesn't have a censor.. i cant really be ****ed fixing it here

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