Losing my virginity with hookers to get over sexual hang-ups

Yo guys,

The thread title may startle you, but let me tell you what kind of position I'm coming from.

I'm 21 years old. I've never had a girlfriend. I've never had sex, and never kissed a girl. I asked girls out back when I was in school, I tried hitting on girls in bars/clubs etc and I have been rejected 100% of the time. No girl has accepted my advances, said yes to a date etc. Some girls have shown interest in me before, but I blew my chances through being AFC/naive. I went from being AFC and not knowing to realising my AFC ways, learning and understanding the Don Juan principles but never being able to put them into practice due to fear of rejection.

Because I've never been intimate with a woman, my head gets messed up whenever I'm near one/talking to one. I get mega nervous around them, and I think it may be due to the sexual element: I watch a lot of porn and have a massive sex-drive making me jerk off at least twice a every day and the sexuality of a woman/the idea of sex dominates my thoughts to the point where I'm not caring about what a girl is saying as I'm too busy thinking about boning her.

I'm a student in London, and university life hasn't been so good recently, it's cramping my style and I'm feeling trapped...so I've taken a couple of days off to go to Amsterdam in Holland. I'm going to visit the coffee shops and the red light district to get hookers...I'm planning on a threesome LOL.

I leave tomorrow morning and come back to London on Wednesday night, so I have pretty much a whole day and night in Amsterdam.

My question is - has anyone here (or anyone you know) lost their virginities to hookers? If so, how was it?

And is it a good idea for me? I'm young, single, and want to get over my sexual hang-ups without facing rejection after rejection. I feel that once I've experienced it, I won't be so anxious around girls...it won't be a big deal for me anymore and my own self-confidence will increase. Plus not many dudes have threesomes, if I've done that, then picking up a girl in a club won't be so scary for me after all!!

I see this as a 1st step in my self-improvement... I'm starting a workout routine to build muscle, lose fat, look better as well as reading the DJ Bible, self-help books etc so I'm trying to improve in other areas but my low confidence and self-esteem is holding me back. Stupid as it may sound, I think a threesome with hookers will help me improve my life.

What are your thoughts/experiences on the matter?

Do you think shoting a cartridge will make you a good sniper?
Getting good with women is not like a switch that once turned its done, it requires time and experience.

Its gradual, what you need is a base to start and the tools to improve, you dont need someone to write you a book, you need to learn how to write and slowly writing books till you get good.

So stop watching that damn porn that makes you lazy and demotivated, hit the gym better yet with a friend who knows what he is doing or at least ask help from a serious trainer.

Trust me, you confidence and drive grows esponentially once you are able to lift your own weight, you will realize that women are no reason to be ansious.

Also you're 21, what you are now is the product of your family and school system, you cant tell whos a winner and whos a loser when the players in not free to play without limitations.

Most of all, do you want to remember for your entire life that your entrance in the pvssy club has been due to money instead of your success?
Better lie to a girl or pretend you're someone else, no matter what as long as its you doing a plan and succeed.
It's not a matter of women its a matter of yourself, so I advise you to avoid that and avoid drugs as well, you're lazy enough due to spankey the monkey twice a day.

Strelok said:

Do you think shoting a cartridge will make you a good sniper?

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Nope, but it'll get you over your fear of pulling the trigger.

Strelok said:

Trust me, you confidence and drive grows esponentially once you are able to lift your own weight, you will realize that women are no reason to be ansious.

It's not a matter of women its a matter of yourself, so I advise you to avoid that and avoid drugs as well, you're lazy enough due to spankey the monkey twice a day.

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I agree that this is more about myself, not women. My self-confidence has recently taken a battering. As I've mentioned before, all my life I was never good with girls, and in addition to that my social skills weren't great, I also sucked at sport, my family environment sucked growing up but the one thing that I held on to was that I did well academically. That was the one thing that gave me confidence.

Over the past few years, my academic achievement slipped too, leaving me as a loser who is crap at everything. As a result I'm in a place I don't want to be, with people I don't want to be with, imprisoned by a university course, a timetable and a lifestyle of obligations, responsibility and restriction that gives me no freedom. You can imagine how that's destroyed what little confidence I had.

This little trip to Amsterdam tomorrow is partly sticking a middle finger up at everything and everyone holding me back so I'm going purely on my own impulse.

I'm sexually liberating myself. Yes, I might look back on my first time as being in a seedy brothel f*cking 2 hookers whilst snorting coke off their boobs but I'll look back on it happy that I did something for myself. Plus it'll be my little secret, no one else will ever know what my first time was like. Heck, I won't even count it as my first time in my head, I'll still tell people I'm a virgin BUT I won't be so anxious about women anymore.

Doing something crazy will make me feel free and alive again after so many years.

JonJaper said:

I'm sexually liberating myself. Yes, I might look back on my first time as being in a seedy brothel f*cking 2 hookers whilst snorting coke off their boobs

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Trolling seems to be at an all time high these days...

I read about a guy who did the same thing the OP is advocating in Neil Strauss's The Game. I can understand where the OP is coming from because before I lost my virginity, I had seriously considered visiting a hooker in order to lose mine.

Strelok is right when he said "Do you think shoting a cartridge will make you a good sniper?" It wont'.

The Op is also somewhat right when he said "Nope, but it'll get you over your fear of pulling the trigger."

There is also a chance it will magnify your fear. If we're going to use a gun analogy, have you ever shot a .22 caliber gun? That's not a big deal. Have you ever shot an assault rifle, like an AK47? Or really, any high power rife/pistol? There's a big difference. I would say the .22 caliber is like making out with a girl. There's a small explosion, but it's really not that big of a deal and there's virtually no kick.

Sex however is more like the AK47. The sound will deafen you and the kick will hurt your shoulder if you don't have the gun positioned right (and sometimes, even if you do). Have you considered that firing off a round for the h$ll of it might just frighten you even more than you already are? You've never heard the roar of a high powered rifle before, felt it punch you in the shoulder, and noticed the power you wield as you watch a literal explosion of dirt fly from the ground behind your target.

And you've never had sex before. This does 2 things for you... it artificially inflates the value of sex in a way you cannot appreciate until you have it. And it places you in a position where you are unable to appreciate it's power. It's a dichotomy.

OP, I would strongly suggest you do not sacrifice your virginity on the alter of a hooker. This will likely do more harm than good for you and quite possibly make it harder for you to get laid because you will be taking action that will reinforce to your mind that prostitution is the only venue available to you for sex. For the love of God, read this thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=153414

The Dbot was straight up asking girls (attractive girls) for sex and some where interested!!!!

If you can acknowledge Strelok is correct about your problem being a problem with yourself, it doesn't make any sense that visiting a hooker will solve the problem. That's not fixing yourself. It's feeding the patterns that brought you to where you are.

tafakna said:

Trolling seems to be at an all time high these days...

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Not trolling. It sounds weird I know I'm being dead serious. It took a lot of rejection and pain to get to this level of desperation where I need to fly out to Amsterdam to get some. I'm at SoSuave because I want to improve, I see getting over my sexual hang-up as the first step in that improvement.

Rubato said:

I read about a guy who did the same thing the OP is advocating in Neil Strauss's The Game. I can understand where the OP is coming from because before I lost my virginity, I had seriously considered visiting a hooker in order to lose mine.

Strelok is right when he said "Do you think shoting a cartridge will make you a good sniper?" It wont'.

The Op is also somewhat right when he said "Nope, but it'll get you over your fear of pulling the trigger."

There is also a chance it will magnify your fear. If we're going to use a gun analogy, have you ever shot a .22 caliber gun? That's not a big deal. Have you ever shot an assault rifle, like an AK47? Or really, any high power rife/pistol? There's a big difference. I would say the .22 caliber is like making out with a girl. There's a small explosion, but it's really not that big of a deal and there's virtually no kick.

Sex however is more like the AK47. The sound will deafen you and the kick will hurt your shoulder if you don't have the gun positioned right (and sometimes, even if you do). Have you considered that firing off a round for the h$ll of it might just frighten you even more than you already are? You've never heard the roar of a high powered rifle before, felt it punch you in the shoulder, and noticed the power you wield as you watch a literal explosion of dirt fly from the ground behind your target.

And you've never had sex before. This does 2 things for you... it artificially inflates the value of sex in a way you cannot appreciate until you have it. And it places you in a position where you are unable to appreciate it's power. It's a dichotomy.

OP, I would strongly suggest you do not sacrifice your virginity on the alter of a hooker. This will likely do more harm than good for you and quite possibly make it harder for you to get laid because you will be taking action that will reinforce to your mind that prostitution is the only venue available to you for sex. For the love of God, read this thread:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=153414

The Dbot was straight up asking girls (attractive girls) for sex and some where interested!!!!

If you can acknowledge Strelok is correct about your problem being a problem with yourself, it doesn't make any sense that visiting a hooker will solve the problem. That's not fixing yourself. It's feeding the patterns that brought you to where you are.

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With regard to Dbot's thread... it wouldn't work for me, I suck at approaches and have major approach anxiety due to my 100% rejection rate. My approaches have always been met with a negative response (anger, irritation, annoyance, derision etc). Plus in London (and other parts of the UK) girls aren't so open and friendly as in the States, cold approaches are automatically labelled as creepy to them.

I can't begin to think about putting myself out there until I feel good about myself, and not put women on a pedestal. If I devalue women by cheapening the act of sex, I won't think of it as such a big deal. It won't bother me anymore. Neither will women. I'll think that I've seen a woman at her trashiest, so I have nothing to be anxious about.


Basically if I think about it in the right way, it shouldn't be a problem, should it?

Go for it!

Personally, I say go for it. I've been with hookers although I didn't lose my virginity to one.


Some of them were actually a lot of fun and I had a great time. It was always when I was on vacation and most of them were just trying to make some money in their impoverished life. Some of them were the hottest girls I'd ever encountered.


Some are also pretty cool. Explain to her what you're doing and why you are doing it and she'll probably help you get comfortable.


Good luck.

DonGorgon said:

99% of hookers are cold and non caring .. do not loose you V to one of them you need a special service that will cost more but is called GFE (girl friend experience) it wil cost more but will be much less cold and business like..

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Screw the GFE LOL.

I honestly don't mind if it's businesslike... I think it would be cool to cut out the emotional aspect out of sex completely, saves a lot of trouble. We're not girls that we need our first time to be "with that special someone" or whatever. We don't need sex to have an emotional component. I want to get in touch with my raw masculine side and just f*ck without caring about the girls I'm sticking my d*ck into.

It sounds bad but I'm not afraid to admit it.

JonJaper said:

With regard to Dbot's thread... it wouldn't work for me, I suck at approaches and have major approach anxiety due to my 100% rejection rate. My approaches have always been met with a negative response (anger, irritation, annoyance, derision etc). Plus in London (and other parts of the UK) girls aren't so open and friendly as in the States, cold approaches are automatically labelled as creepy to them.

I can't begin to think about putting myself out there until I feel good about myself, and not put women on a pedestal. If I devalue women by cheapening the act of sex, I won't think of it as such a big deal. It won't bother me anymore. Neither will women. I'll think that I've seen a woman at her trashiest, so I have nothing to be anxious about.


Basically if I think about it in the right way, it shouldn't be a problem, should it?

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What's your point? Jariel (sorry for using your name here) is from the UK and is pretty much doing fine with the ladies. I bet if I threw you into the US you'd still say the same thing about yourself being labelled creepy. Time to man up boy and stop blaming women for your flaws.

Nothing is a 100% fail rate, you miss every shot you don't take. From your tone here I probably can tell you give off the desperate vibe when you talk to girls. Work on your self esteem first, you're totally lacking in it. And as Rubato said, a hooker is not a good way to lose your virginity, probably feel worse than before that you have to pay to get sex.

Konada said:

What's your point? Jariel (sorry for using your name here) is from the UK and is pretty much doing fine with the ladies. I bet if I threw you into the US you'd still say the same thing about yourself being labelled creepy. Time to man up boy and stop blaming women for your flaws.

Nothing is a 100% fail rate, you miss every shot you don't take. From your tone here I probably can tell you give off the desperate vibe when you talk to girls. Work on your self esteem first, you're totally lacking in it. And as Rubato said, a hooker is not a good way to lose your virginity, probably feel worse than before that you have to pay to get sex.

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I agree with the self-esteem and desperate vibe thing you have mentioned. But I feel that getting rid of that desperation involves having a crazy sexual experience that you wouldn't normally have (don't tell me that threesomes with HBs is usual) because once I have had a crazy sexual experience, then approaching girls, asking them out on dates, hitting on them in clubs etc won't be such a big deal anymore. Desperation over! I won't be putting women on pedestals no longer.

Once I have been there, done that, then I can move on with other things in my life, and keep up my workout routine, focus on my studies, feel at peace with myself and improve myself.

JonJaper said:

I can't begin to think about putting myself out there until I feel good about myself, and not put women on a pedestal. If I devalue women by cheapening the act of sex, I won't think of it as such a big deal. It won't bother me anymore. Neither will women. I'll think that I've seen a woman at her trashiest, so I have nothing to be anxious about.


Basically if I think about it in the right way, it shouldn't be a problem, should it?

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If you want to see cheapened sex, find a free pornography website.

You have already seen devalued women brother.... think back about your experiences you've already described with how they've treated you. Let me be clear - as Pook said in his landmark book, in your issue, YOU have the problem. But that doens't mean you haven't also been exposed to low value women.

Having sex with a hooker will not allow you to experience a woman at her trashiest, unless maybe she's in the middle of a herpes outbreak, hasn't showered in a while, and is very overweight. If you'll have sex with that, there may not be anything we can do to help you.

Try as hard as you can to disconnect yourself from the way you feel and how horny you are after a girl right now.

I'll try and break this down for you, because I was where you are at one point and needed help:

1. You have the problem. You are not the problem. There's a difference. If you were the problem, there would be nothing you could do about it because the problem would be inherent in who you are. If you have the problem, that's a different story, because all you have to do to not have something is to get rid of it.

Easier said then do though, right?

2. There's a part of me that wants to accuse you of being a troll becuase I can't imagine that if you're legitimately consistently going out after having read something like the DJ Bible, Pook's book, Deangelo's book or something worthwhile, that you have a 100% rejection rate. I can only think of a few reasonable explanations for this:

- You have not actually read the DJ Bible, the book of Pook or anything else worthwhile. These are free. READ THEM!!!! If you want to pay for something, I would suggest David Deangelo's Double Your Dating ebook, Vin DiCarlo's The Rules of Attraction, or Adam Lyons Principles of Attraction.

Read the freaking books!!!!

- If you have read, you are not applying what you have read. If you actually read something, find someone to go out with you and watch you do what you do. I'm sure you have a guy friend. Buy him drinks, pay him, whatever, to have him come out for one night and watch what you're doing and give you his honest impressions.

- The final possibility is that you are not actually going out, or you went out and got rejected once or twice and quit. You can't stop!! You have to keep going out. Honestly look at and evaluate what you're doing and figure out what is working and what isn't. Change what isn't working. Try new things. Don't be afraid to experiment... we do call this The Game after all... why not actually treat it as a game??

3. If the problem lies with you, an external will not fix it. This means a prostitute will not help you. I am convinced it will probably make things worse for you. What you need to do is look inward. The problem stems from within, and only an honest evaluation and work with what is inside will fix it.

4. Focus on yourself. Again easier said than done.

Really, I don't have time to type anymore. I need to get to school. If you are interested in anything else I had to say (there was more), let me know and I'll finish when I get home.

I would also strongly suggest you start reading the Book of Pook right now. In fact, don't come back to this website until you have read it, thought about it, and have begun to understand it and apply it.

romangod said:

Personally, I say go for it. I've been with hookers although I didn't lose my virginity to one.


Some of them were actually a lot of fun and I had a great time. It was always when I was on vacation and most of them were just trying to make some money in their impoverished life. Some of them were the hottest girls I'd ever encountered.


Some are also pretty cool. Explain to her what you're doing and why you are doing it and she'll probably help you get comfortable.


Good luck.

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LOL thanks! You only live once, may as well make it count and live life to the full, experience the craziest sh*t and be free!

I'm definitely going to approach this as a fun, crazy experience that will help me get over my hang-ups . It's the first step in becoming a new and improved man. I can get my confidence back because it will reduce my anxiety around girls and I'll take life less seriously and stop overanalysing things.

Rubato said:

2. There's a part of me that wants to accuse you of being a troll becuase I can't imagine that if you're legitimately consistently going out after having read something like the DJ Bible, Pook's book, Deangelo's book or something worthwhile, that you have a 100% rejection rate. I can only think of a few reasonable explanations for this:

- You have not actually read the DJ Bible, the book of Pook or anything else worthwhile. These are free. READ THEM!!!! If you want to pay for something, I would suggest David Deangelo's Double Your Dating ebook, Vin DiCarlo's The Rules of Attraction, or Adam Lyons Principles of Attraction.

Read the freaking books!!!!

- If you have read, you are not applying what you have read. If you actually read something, find someone to go out with you and watch you do what you do. I'm sure you have a guy friend. Buy him drinks, pay him, whatever, to have him come out for one night and watch what you're doing and give you his honest impressions.

- The final possibility is that you are not actually going out, or you went out and got rejected once or twice and quit. You can't stop!! You have to keep going out. Honestly look at and evaluate what you're doing and figure out what is working and what isn't. Change what isn't working. Try new things. Don't be afraid to experiment... we do call this The Game after all... why not actually treat it as a game??

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The bold bits apply to me. Believe me, I've got the book of Pook, downloaded the DJ Bible, read DiCarlo and DeAngelo (although it's been a long time, I've forgotten a lot so I should read through them again). But the bigger problem is that I haven't really applied what was in the reading material because of approach anxiety.

Also, I did go out, got rejected 100% of the time and yeah I admit I took that sh*t personally. I thought I got rejected because I was short (I'm 5'6), skinny, not that good looking (I've been described as a 6/10 by women and men alike). Basically I feel that I'm not good enough, so yeah after many rejections I've kinda given up a bit. I think I've gotta build muscle, look better, dress better, get good grades etc to become good enough for women.

But not anymore lol. I'll improve myself not because of women, but for me! I'll build muscle because I want to take pride in my appearance because I care about myself, not primarily because I care about what women think.

Rubato said:

If the problem lies with you, an external will not fix it. This means a prostitute will not help you. I am convinced it will probably make things worse for you. What you need to do is look inward. The problem stems from within, and only an honest evaluation and work with what is inside will fix it.

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I hear you when you say that I have the problem, and I totally agree with it. For me, this is less about the hooker and more about me feeling that I've lived a mediocre, boring, miserable life and I miss the excitement and fun. I'm looking for thrills, something crazy and I personally think drugs and threesomes with hookers = pretty wild and crazy. The wild and fun times do involve losing my virginity, which is an added bonus.

I get that the external action itself isn't important, but what it represents is so much more important to me. It represents me living my life to the max. It's me doing something for myself, taking an impulse decision, sticking my finger up at the restrictions in my life that are tying me down and not giving me freedom.

There's a certain exhilaration about saying "screw you!" to the establishment, and chasing your impulsive desire. Wouldn't it be great to experience that kind of freedom in your life?




EDIT: Just to clarify guys, I'm going to Amsterdam, where it's legal and regulated. The girls are checked for STDs regularly, and are probably cleaner than your average club bimbo.

I've booked my tickets to Amsterdam. It's been done, there's no turning back now. This is not mental masturbation or some fantasy, this is really happening. I've actually booked the tickets and the hotel and I am going to the red light district to do drugs and have threesomes with prostitutes. My flight is tomorrow, I'm spending all of Tuesday there and coming back on Wednesday. When I'm back I'll let you guys know how it went.

I'm going there as a virgin but I'm not coming back as one. Wish me luck troops!

-walk off cliff in shame -_-

It's risky business because if it isn't a success story you'll be even more reluctant.

When trying to have sex it's important to be comfortable with the girl. The best is to get to know her and when you end up in bed together your penis will tell you whether to go in or not.

When you immediately jump into situations like that without proper foreplay you might not be able to perform. It's happened to me.

You are not the first virgin to consider going to a hooker and you won't be the last. And like all of them that consider it, you will 99% not go through with it.

You say that you have a crippling fear of rejection, but tell me:

How come you don't have a crippling fear of paying enormous sums of money to a random person to fvck you all while breaking the law and throwing away what little sense of pride and dignity you have of yourself ?

Tell you what, if you truly believe it will help you, then go for it. But like 99% of people who consider it, you are going to make a really long thread debating the pros and cons and then end up not doing it anyways. If you're going to do it, then do it and then make a thread about how you felt about it. You're just mentally masturbating the what if's and you're not really going to go through with anything.

JonJaper said:

There's a certain exhilaration about saying "screw you!" to the establishment, and chasing your impulsive desire. Wouldn't it be great to experience that kind of freedom in your life?

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That's a straw man argument.

You are insinuating that what you are doing will increase the franchise of your freedom, and that does not necessarily follow.

Is there anything special about bucking the establishment? Sometimes. But not in your case.

If the establishment were a group of men in a bar and you could say "screw you!" by going home with the hottest women there, yes, that would be exhilarating.

But, one thing I've always been mindful to notice in life is that GENERALLY, when you start saying everyone is wrong and you're the only one who is right, you're probably wrong, especially when experience is the speaker. That's not always true in the business world, but bucking trends of experience is a dangerous idea.... if the actions that generated the experience DIDN'T work, the experience would be different!

You have to look at your decision and determine whether its bringing you closer to your goals or further away from them. This will not bring you closer to your goals. There is nothing special about giving the middle finger to the establishment for the simple sake of rebellion. That is illusionary freedom. You think you are free because you went "against the grain", but why did you do that? Because you are bound by something invisible that's producing the symptoms of the problem you complain about. But just because you can't see it doesn't mean it isn't there.

So no. Cutting off your nose to spite your face is not cool, exhilarating, or anything else. It's very lame and AFC. It does not increase the enfranchisement of your freedom. And you're deluding yourself if you think this is going to bring you any closer to your goals.

You however have made up your mind sir. And unfortunately when that happens, there is little anyone can do to help you. I'm doubtful if you are as insecure as you say that you'll actually hook up a prostitute. This will cause you to leave feeling even more miserable because you will have failed to have sex under circumstances that are virtually guaranteed!!

There is nothing more to say.

Here in the Netherlands it's legal and I actually enjoy going to the red light district.

Somehow I have more respect for some prostitutes than I do for certain women who try to get you to jump through a million hoops before you get sex.

Some prostitutes are dignified people who just happen to be very sexual and want to make some money out of it. It's nice to make a simple transaction and then leave the rest of the world behind for a while to have some good anonymous sex. The only thing I ever care to ask them generally is what country they're from.

I've come across girls at the club that were ugly but had a nice body, and I did want to **** them but didn't want to kiss them. I actually wished I could pay her like a prostitute to **** her without making out. She was trying to make out with me, I rejected her and she hooked up with another dude.

Then there's other girls who I want to get for free, but they all make it extra hard for you. It's never easy to get the girls you want.

People should consider all possibilities.

But referring to the OP...
I actually wouldn't advise you to do it if it was illegal. Because they might try and hook you for your cash, or try some crazy ****.
In Amsterdam everything is done really professionally. And that's the way it should be done.