Couldn't f-close. What did I do wrong?

Long Story short.

I met a 30 some year old HB at dance class last Sunday. It turns out we have a mutual friend and he is conveniently enough, my wing. She tells him as soon as she walked in the room, she was taken aback by my presence and when I looked over at her and made eye contact, she felt like my eyes were staring in to her soul.

I've been working on my social image a lot. And I've been hearing things like that.

I motioned for her to come over with my eyes, and she did and immediately started flirting, but in a really retarded way. She was acting like I was a rock star and she was a little girl from middle school.

I negged her a few times, gave her one compliment I felt like she deserved, and walked away. I ignored her for most of class. She was bugging my wing the entire time trying to figure stuff out about me. I danced the last dance with her. She told my wing to set up something where we could all go to lunch together. We did.

I don't really remember what happened at lunch.

I got her # the next day at salsa. Made sure I was seen walking in with another girl. My wing said this made the HB totally jealous and she was ready to next me. But as soon as I walked up to her, I made sure to get really close and invade her personal space and look directly in her eyes. I didn't use a line, I just asked her for her number. And she gave it to me and started acting all middle schoolish again.

I called the next day and set up a date for Saturday.

I'm coming home from school Friday and called her to nail down specifically what we were gonna do Sat. She said she was near where I was, so we met for some coffee. She invites me over to her house for a dance lesson. We go over to her house and dance. I kiss close her.

Later that night she texts me and asks me to meet her at a bar in another city. I say no. I have to study. She's insistent I come. I tell her I have to study and if she wants to see me, she needs to come to a bar in my city. She does. And she buys all of my drinks. We bounce to a place in another city she's good friends with the owner at, and this is probably where I made my first mistake. I got totally sh$tfaced drunk. For free, and off of good liquor. But I was trashed. I met a fellow PUA while I was out and he said my game on dynamite, and even though I was wasted, he said I wasn't stumbling and my game wasn't hurting. I later found out she was trying to get me drunk. She told the bar tender to use overproof whiskey for my manhattans and they were basically just pure alcohol anyways (which I could taste. I guess I knew what I was doing).

She drove me back to my car back by the first bar and didn't act like she wanted to leave yet, so I told her to follow me to a park. We got to the park and she motioned for me to come by her car to "listen to some music". I got in and we started making out. I got her shirt and bra off, but then she started getting nervous and told me that "I was way too good at this" and that freaked her out. So I backed off some and we talked a little, and I started kissing her again, and she gave me some more resistance. I was following the 2-steps forward, 1-step backwards thing. And it was not working. I told her there was a lake and she wanted to go see it. I have a blanket in my trunk (coincidence?).

We laid down next to the blanket and resumed. I got on top of her and started grinding on her through her clothes while we were making out and I could tell she was getting freakishly turned on. But I still couldn't get any further with the girl, no matter what I did. I even did a freeze out and it didn't work.

I got home about 5 AM. I had a date with another girl Sat morning and I was too tired to go so I made up a bogus reason and rescheduled. She likes me enough that I can do that.

Our date yesterday - I thought for sure I was gonna get laid. And I didn't! We started making out again and she told me she usually doesn't fool around with guys until she has a relationship with them. I know this is 100% bogus because my wing told me so. He made it sound like this would be the easiest lay of my life. She keeps telling me how attractive I am to her, how sexy I am, how much she likes me so quickly, this connection she feels, how she can't even notice anyone else. And normally, when girls say things like that I smile at them and give them a kiss while I'm thinking in the back of my head that these are lines as illegitimate as the ones I use. She's also told me some pretty freakishly personal stuff about her too.

So since we didn't f-close, I played some music on the piano for a while and she listened very intently. She was mesmerized by whatever I was making up. I poured some wine. She made me some tea. We had a bon fire in the back. And she said I was the most fun date she's had in years, and she hasn't felt like I make her feel in years. But she won't give it up.

I can think of a few reasons why this may have not worked.

1. While I did convey plenty of sexual essence and interest, it's also obvious to any smart girl who has an encounter with her that I would be amazing "boyfriend material". That's just who I am.

She's told me she's scared to death if she sleeps with me, she'll just be another notch on my belt and will never see me again. And I'm good with words, but there was nothing I could say to convince her otherwise. She kept using words like, let's wait and make it special, blah blah blah. This girl has a freakishly amazing body. I want it yesterday.

2. My wing told me (and she told me yesterday) she had an issue with cluster headaches and they got so bad she made a suicide attempt a Dr. (who is no longer practicing because of this) assisted her with. She was lucky enough to walk away with no permanent damage. My wing said this totally made her in to a different person when she woke up and realized she was still alive.

He said she used to be an easy girl and even slept with a married country music celebrity. He's trying to tell me she's changed. She's cheated before. She's assisted cheating. And I don't believe people who do those things really ever change. Which is one of the reasons why I'm so confused here.

My wing tells me she's being straight with me, but I don't trust girls, especially when they have a long history.

So what do you guys think is going on here and what would you do or have done differently?

and that's the short version?

Rubato, I read through this a few times and it sounds like you did a good job and I can't really find anything you could have done differently. Maybe someone else can though.

Rubato said:

While I did convey plenty of sexual essence and interest, it's also obvious to any smart girl who has an encounter with her that I would be amazing "boyfriend material". That's just who I am.

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Perhaps this has something to do with it? Maybe you were coming across as 'too' much of a potential bf and not enough of a 'alpha' shagger.

Also, how trustworthy is your 'wing'? Has he tapped her beforehand?

But really, I'm clutching at straws a bit here, perhaps she just takes slightly longer than other girls.

when women see you as relationship material they tend to withhold sex

Quit overanalyzing, You did good. You just gotta get her more comfortable with you. Sometimes it takes multiple dates for a girl to completely be comfortable with you.

DonJuan_DeRosco said:

Rubato, I read through this a few times and it sounds like you did a good job and I can't really find anything you could have done differently. Maybe someone else can though.

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Meh. I don't really think he did anything wrong.

We're dealing with people. So all these rules we make up about "game" are never 100% certainties.

What's it been? Like 2 dates? It's not a total disaster to go for 2 dates with a girl and get no sex out of it. What's important is that there's sexual escalation. In the past, I've been out with a girl 3 or 4 times, and every date was the same make-out session. And obviously, you gotta NEXT that kind of girl.

But this girl...sounds like she's just trying to establish that she doesn't want to just be a f**k buddy. She's playing her cards. You're playing your cards. She'll break by the next date, I think. As long as you're getting signs that she'll let you get into her pants, you have nothing to fear. If this continues, then obviously she's just stringing you along.

I agree with Iceberg. I'd give this a little more time. If you really want to hit it, another date or two is probably worth. Just don't let her string you along too long.

Thanks guy, I appreciate your thoughtful responses

The biggest thing I've been worried about is becoming some guy this girl is stringing along given her history. I think I said this up there, but while it's theoretically possible people can change, it's also theoretically possible according to quantum physics that you can pass your hand through a solid object as if it were not a solid. And that's a little bit of hyperbole there. But I'm very skeptical that the basal portion of a person changes. Once a cheater, always a cheater 99% of the time.

All I'm after is sex right now. As a consequence, she will be spending time with me and has the opportunity to show me if there is more to her than an A+ body. I don't think there is. I tend not to trust women.

Congrats! It seems you did everything well...

Of course girls have a much easier time, specially good looking ones. All they have to do is to withhold sex. And you see how quickly that messes up with the head of the good players.

I've started to get worried here:

Rubato said:

He's trying to tell me she's changed. She's cheated before. She's assisted cheating. And I don't believe people who do those things really ever change. Which is one of the reasons why I'm so confused here.

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How the heck is this relevant if all you want is sex right now? KEEP YOUR MIND IN THE GAME.

All that is irrelevant. As you stated you want sex and not a relationship.

So just hope she's not changed and you can get easy sex.

Good luck.

the only flaw in your game right now is that you are only looking for sex. she is reading this from you. you said it yourself she's afraid that she will just be another notch in your belt. to sleep with this girl you are gonna have to show her you dont just want her for sex. if thats all you want, you'll have to fake it. hang out with her, keep your hands to yourself, but tease her. look deeply into her eyes, go in slowly for the kiss, and just give her a quick peck. you are also gonna have to make an emotional connection with her, talk about something serious, like hopes and dreams, family, crap like that. if you have one more date where you are not persuing sex with her, she will jump your bones next time you hang out.

It seems like you do your game very very well, and she is struggling to not be fooled by you. And you wonder what YOU did wrong?

The thing is, you did everything so right that she is falling in love with you, and she don't want to get hurt. And as you say, you are only after sex, so apparently she is doing the right thing =)

If you really just want sex, it seems to me you have to make more mistakes so the girl don't fall completely on you and let you be a FB

You will have this girl any way you want but you need to earn her trust, you can do that, fvck her and then break her heart - or marry her if you prefer =p Looks like you have the choice. Stop worry about what you do wrong... you should let yourself do some mistakes or you will just freak out...

Another thing, it's good you respect your wing and listen to him, but don't treat him as a bible, and let him get too much into your head. Do your own thing and don't be afraid to not do what he tells you to do sometimes. (talking from own experience ^^)

DonJuan_DeRosco said:

Also, how trustworthy is your 'wing'? Has he tapped her beforehand?

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^^^bingo she is ****ing his wing and likes him wants to be with him .. its very clear from early on in the story.. she is a ho and would F both but she really like the wing and does not want him to kno that the Fed the OP..