Apparently I'm embarrassing women by going direct, is this normal?

Hello. I've been trying out some direct cold approaches on women, but they're not working well for me. For some reason, girls seem embarrassed when I direct approach them. I don't know if it's the Southern American culture here, or the fact that women virtually never get hit on during the daytime here. But it's not helping me. I'm wondering why this is happening?
I saw a girl walking by me in a grocery store a couple weeks back, and I told her "Hey, how are you doing?", and she smiled and seemed happy. Then, I told her "I think you're cute" and she ducked her head and walked away from me.
I was at a restaraunt getting food for my family today when I saw an attractive girl sitting with an older woman. I saw her and naturally went "Hey, how're you doing", and she kept giving me a blank expression the whole time. Then I said spontaneously "I know I don't know you, but I think you're cute" and she turned red and reacted weird. I talked to her briefly, but me hitting on her seemed like a shock to her system. I asked her to talk a second longer with me and she declined. Maybe it's a good thing I'm getting these extreme reactions out of women?
What am I doing wrong to freak these girls out going direct?
If I go indirect, they're more likely to walk away from me, so there's no proven method for me. I don't know, but I'm out in the field 4-5 days a week now doing Day Game in some form.

sounds like you are giving off a creepy vibe. Good work on trying hard though, thats how you get better. I like connecting before I say that they are attractive. I never worship beauty.. I again want to say good work going out and doing your best though.

maybe you shouldn't come on that strong by telling them their cute on the second line


Introduce, then chit chat for like 2 min, get her to laugh. during these 2 min it will tell you if the girl is interested or not.

example: does she respond positively with laughter OR smile or does she give 1 or 2 word replies clearly trying to brush you off...if she responds positively THAN you should move in with the your cute line.

How are you dressing? Also, how old are the women you are approaching? Keep in mind that women tend to prefer guys that appear to be a few years older than them...if you're dressing like a kid, you're going to be "typed out" right away.

Jeffst1980 said:

How are you dressing? Also, how old are the women you are approaching? Keep in mind that women tend to prefer guys that appear to be a few years older than them...if you're dressing like a kid, you're going to be "typed out" right away.

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Women ages 18-40 pretty much. When I go out I wear blue jeans with Nike Shox and either A. Form fitting gold and black Tapout shirt B. Form fitting Aeropostale shirt C. Form fitting blue American Eagle shirt. I wore the Tapout shirt today and the Aeropostale shirt when I approached the woman at the grocery store. Those girls I freaked out were young ones about my age. I approach women of all races as well, though more white women since they're the majority here. That and I like hot tanned blondes and brunettes.
It'll be getting cold here soon so I'll be buying more clothes.

As noted, your bravery is commended. You arent a soldier behind a desk, you're out in the field.

The previous posters are correct; your second line is a bit strong, but nothing you shouldn't say, just a matter of timing. In my experience, the eighteen audience should not be too setback by your blatant forwardedness, but marinated in the spices of vague or nonexistant familiarity with the opposite individual can garner undesirable results. Build comfort in your interactions, and it may help to render your second line in a joking manner; various forms you could attempt, like perhaps a cliche you both know is as old as the first neanderthal, but all in the graces of cracking a smile across her face.

If you are saying your second line with a face as serious as The Punisher, it could undoubtedly deliver a creepy vibe.

Might have to resort to plan B and just go indirect. I think the level of comfort around strangers varies by culture and this plays a great part in picking up women.

u will start to get better and getting your question answered after u reach 8k approaches

r0cky said:

Might have to resort to plan B and just go indirect. I think the level of comfort around strangers varies by culture and this plays a great part in picking up women.

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Yeah, I may just have to keep the direct approaches for the streets/walking women or very short time situations. People are so friendly here though that me saying "Hey,how're you doing" when passing an attractive women is probably not thought of as hitting on her. While when I was on vacation in Florida and told women this, they'd typically stop. For better or worse, it takes more than that to get them to stop here. I don't know if some of you on here come from my type of environment, but there's a few scenarios here where going direct could be the answer: Girl at a gas pump, in line, parking lot, and leaving a place. For the record, I've never had a number close from a direct approach, only indirect ones.
At esacaleroyal: I've probably done 500 or 600 cold approaches at most, so yes, I'm lacking behind a lot of people in terms of numbers. But my approach anxiety is much lower than it was 3 months ago. There used to be a feeling of death-like dread even before I went out in cold approach situations, now that feeling is almost non-existent.

if you want to try a direct approach, you must throw a mixed singnal single that shows that you're not desperate, and im not calling you desperate, but i have to agree with everyone else on this thread that. a direct approach on a girls looks can come across creepy or desperate. but back to whaty i was talking about, you must throw a take away, that also sends a mixed signal if ur gonna follow up with something about her looks. For example, "hey, how are you doing">>>>> "great, you know you're kinda cute (the kinda is KEY) but my question is are you actually friendly too?" what this does is it takes the objection off the table and will always get her talking because you're basically saying "yea you're cute but if u are beotch u can walk the other way cause im not interested then" but its also playful and i can 100% gaurentee u it will work without fail. give it a shot and report back

ThisIsYourWakeUpCall said:

if you want to try a direct approach, you must throw a mixed singnal single that shows that you're not desperate, and im not calling you desperate, but i have to agree with everyone else on this thread that. a direct approach on a girls looks can come across creepy or desperate. but back to whaty i was talking about, you must throw a take away, that also sends a mixed signal if ur gonna follow up with something about her looks. For example, "hey, how are you doing">>>>> "great, you know you're kinda cute (the kinda is KEY) but my question is are you actually friendly too?" what this does is it takes the objection off the table and will always get her talking because you're basically saying "yea you're cute but if u are beotch u can walk the other way cause im not interested then" but its also playful and i can 100% gaurentee u it will work without fail. give it a shot and report back

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Cool, thanks for the advice. I'm going to the city tomorrow to sarge, so I will try this line out. I'm trying to put qualifying into my game, though it's been a little difficult doing that.
Thanks for the input everyone.:yes:

great stuff guys. Thanks =)

I agree with what some of the other posters are saying. I think you can be both direct (with your body language) and indirect (with what you are discussing ....at first) and have some success. They should know by the way you are looking at them and speaking with them what your intentions are, but you will have more hits when you don't put EVERYTHING on the table upfront. One rule I follow here, if I can obviously tell she is feeling me, then I'll be direct with words, sometimes way too direct, sometimes just enough. Way too direct might be "Hey I know we just met but I think you have an amazing @ss and I wanna spank it" < rarely works.... but CAN depending on the girl.

That kind of direct sh!t works in a bar, club, swing party, etc. Somewhere they are already looking to hook up.

Out to pick up their laundry they are pretty much doing there own thing and not particularly interested in hearing that you want to fvck them. So you need to finesse them a little and show some personality.

Try using indirect then promptly changing to direct like you suddenly realize she is cute. Example in a supermarket in the dairy section:

You: Hey, which brand of yogurt is the best?
HB: Blah
You: Yeah, my friend just got into health food and working out and she is insisting I each yogurt every day for a week and she swears I'll feel so much different. I don't know about people that are super into health food though... I mean, you have to have variety. I think she is considering going vegan. Can vegans even eat yogurt?
Her: blah blah

By now she is either walking away or you have a fledgling convo going.

At some point soon, during this mini-convo, you just say:

"You know what, you're really cute. What's your name?"

You say it like it just dawned on you-- like you just realized she is hot and that the whole point of the conversation up to that point was really for yogurt advice.

Then you have now transitioned to direct and made your intentions known after having a soft, non-threatening opening.

Check out some of Paul Janka's free teaser videos to see this in action. Also Alex Coulson does this sometimes and he has free teaser videos.