Konada said:
Well in the past I always thought it was my shyness that held me back from being social but now I have come up out my shell and have no inhibitions to speak to other people. However, I realise that many people apparently prefer talking about nonsensical stuff like 'I bought 10 Marlboro packs today.' and I find that I cannot stoop to this level of stupidity. I do really well about getting to know about the other person but I find that this inability of mine has made me come off as a person that isn't 'normal' which in this case is getting off solely on garbage conversation.
I feel its hurting my chances to be social since I am prsctically unable to participate in such conversations and eventually I come off as the creepy guy that listens but doesn't talk.
Is there anything I can do about this? Or is it a lost cause for me?
I had this problem too... where I used to look down on "small talk" and "garbage conversation".
You have to realize most people talk to just socialize, relax and have fun. They don't talk to learn, or gain deep philosophical insights about life. Sure intellectual talks are fun once in a while...but if you try to make every single conversation with every single person you meet a deep conversation its a fvcking turn off. They will think you are a boring POS and move on.
A lot of these people DO talk about deep and insightful things...when you become closer friends with them. You can't just be acquaintances or meet them several times a week and somehow always expect intellectually stimulating conversations. Not going to happen.
You have to realize what you call stupidity and garbage conversation is actually a gauge:
Usually people you have met, or have known for a short period of time (or even a long period of time but not really close at all, more like acquaintances) make small talk BECAUSE YOU TWO HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON. You do not know about interests, and he/she does not know about yours. You do small talk so you can understand what type of person you are interacting with and if the person is a type of guy you would like to hang out with in the future.
Obviously the Marlboro guy is not your cup of tea. You call it a level of stupidity, while to another person this conversation might have happened:
"I bought 10 Marlboro packs today."
"Holy crap that's a lot. I prefer Newports though so much better."
"Rofl I had Newports in high school"
"Dude let's go for a smoke tomorrow after your last class. Come over after you're done"
"Alright catch you later"
^in which case the conversation was a precursor for a possible deeper relationship.
It is unrealistic to expect super deep conversations all the time. Like Social_Leper said people are more intellectual than you give them credit for. You wouldn't stop a stranger in the street and start talking about the works of Socrates would you?
