Is this called woman flake?

keemojung · Jul 20, 2011

I called my girl on Tue and asked her out on Wed evening.

At first, she said she wasn't sure and said it depends.

I then said that i can't tolerate uncertainty, you gotta said yes or no

as this is the only day i am free for this week. She then asked

"Can she bring her friend along?".

I said "Well, i asked u out, not ur friend"

She replied "You are so mean!!"

I then put more pressure on her like im going to count to 10

and u gotta say the answer.

Finally, she then agreed to meet me on Wed evening.

However, on Wed afternoon, she texted me "I am busy, can't go with u"

and i didn't receive any text or call from her since then.

Is this called flake? Do i look needy or desperate?

What should i do with it and should i even mention about it?

I think im going to call her on Thu night to ask her out again on

this coming Fri.

What do u think?

I really have never been flaked before. This is like my fu(king first time.

So don't really know how to deal with it.

gaspipe · Jul 20, 2011

Is this a girl you just met? Seems to me that she has low interest. Theres a small chance that shes playing hard to get and is being coy. Id wait at least a week and then try again.

If a girl has any interest she will leave the door open somewhat to your advances. If she rejects you again, throw her number away and find someone else. Its always a good idea to never invest your time and effort in any one girl and to be always vigilant of new prospects so that if and when you do get rejected you will always have options.

crazyboy · Jul 20, 2011

keemojung said:
I called my girl on Tue and asked her out on Wed evening.

At first, she said she wasn't sure and said it depends.

I then said that i can't tolerate uncertainty, you gotta said yes or no

as this is the only day i am free for this week. She then asked

"Can she bring her friend along?".

I said "Well, i asked u out, not ur friend"

She replied "You are so mean!!"

I then put more pressure on her like im going to count to 10

and u gotta say the answer.

Finally, she then agreed to meet me on Wed evening.

However, on Wed afternoon, she texted me "I am busy, can't go with u"

and i didn't receive any text or call from her since then.

Is this called flake? Do i look needy or desperate?

What should i do with it and should i even mention about it?

I think im going to call her on Thu night to ask her out again on

this coming Fri.

What do u think?

I really have never been flaked before. This is like my fu(king first time.

So don't really know how to deal with it.

One you sounded needed and desperate. Two you gave her ultimatum in which women hate. Third since she wanted to bring a friend she didn't want to be you alone on a date. Fourth by the sound of what you written you sounded too serious. You call her don't mention her flaking.

keemojung · Jul 20, 2011

gaspipe said:
Is this a girl you just met? Seems to me that she has low interest. Theres a small chance that shes playing hard to get and is being coy. Id wait at least a week and then try again.

If a girl has any interest she will leave the door open somewhat to your advances. If she rejects you again, throw her number away and find someone else. Its always a good idea to never invest your time and effort in any one girl and to be always vigilant of new prospects so that if and when you do get rejected you will always have options.

I met her in a club last Thu. We made out and had a kiss in the club.

She even said we can't do it today as i had Menstruation.

(I didn't say anything about sex yet).

Since then we had casual contact, but there is one day, she

called me 4-5 times with her number and i picked up none of them.

She even used another 3 numbers of her friend to call me

to check why i didn't pick up her phone.

Well, I think that is indication of interest man!

Im thinkin abt closing the deal to bang her this Friday.

I think i gonna call her to ask her out again today. (Thu)

What do u think abt this man?

The_411 · Jul 20, 2011

1) You called on a Tuesday to set up on Wednesday. Unless you've been dating or are serious this won't fly unless you're confident and you know she's really into you. Women want to have time to prepare to get ready and be ready for you.

2) She said it depends at that point you should have said alright and and made plans for something else on Wednesday

3) Once she went to bring the friend along things are bad. Why? You're getting away from isolation and moving to hanging out in a group. It means she's not comfortable with you and/or will get bored

4) She bailed because you get her an ultimatum and put immense pressure on her. You can't strong arm women to date you. You want to charm them not intimidate them.

5) No don't call her because a) she won't answer b) you'll only be doing more damage to a situation that's already nearly if not broken.

Frankly I'd move on as I rather doubt she'll talk to you again.

keemojung · Jul 20, 2011

The_411 said:
1) You called on a Tuesday to set up on Wednesday. Unless you've been dating or are serious this won't fly unless you're confident and you know she's really into you. Women want to have time to prepare to get ready and be ready for you.

2) She said it depends at that point you should have said alright and and made plans for something else on Wednesday

3) Once she went to bring the friend along things are bad. Why? You're getting away from isolation and moving to hanging out in a group. It means she's not comfortable with you and/or will get bored

4) She bailed because you get her an ultimatum and put immense pressure on her. You can't strong arm women to date you. You want to charm them not intimidate them.

5) No don't call her because a) she won't answer b) you'll only be doing more damage to a situation that's already nearly if not broken.

Frankly I'd move on as I rather doubt she'll talk to you again.

1. Do u think it is such a short notice to do it that way?

I am quite confident that she is into me.

What do u think is the better way to offer the date, two days in advance?

2. If i said alright then made plan for sth else, should i call her

later to ask for her plan?

3. She even made out with me in her car when we first met.

So I think she feels ok to stay with me.

4. I know that i made a mistake on this point. Well, gotta admit and accept it and learn from it.

5. I think im gonna call her again today's night to offer the date

tomorrow's night and if she doesn't pick up the call

then i think i will act aloof like for 4-5 days before offering her

last chance to get a date with me.

Are there any ways to cure my current situation please?

PS i still spin plates with other 3 chicks but this one i like her the most

and i wanna bang her and close the deal and move on.

keemojung · Jul 21, 2011

crazyboy said:
One you sounded needed and desperate. Two you gave her ultimatum in which women hate. Third since she wanted to bring a friend she didn't want to be you alone on a date. Fourth by the sound of what you written you sounded too serious. You call her don't mention her flaking.

Is there any way i can do to remedy the situation right now?

gaspipe · Jul 21, 2011

keemojung said:
1. Do u think it is such a short notice to do it that way?

I am quite confident that she is into me.

What do u think is the better way to offer the date, two days in advance?

2. If i said alright then made plan for sth else, should i call her

later to ask for her plan?

3. She even made out with me in her car when we first met.

So I think she feels ok to stay with me.

4. I know that i made a mistake on this point. Well, gotta admit and accept it and learn from it.

5. I think im gonna call her again today's night to offer the date

tomorrow's night and if she doesn't pick up the call

then i think i will act aloof like for 4-5 days before offering her

last chance to get a date with me.

Are there any ways to cure my current situation please?

PS i still spin plates with other 3 chicks but this one i like her the most

and i wanna bang her and close the deal and move on.

Ive had a similar situation with a girl I also met at a club a while ago. She was a solid 8.5. banging body ok face. Constant hot and cold behavior

OK this is how you play it. Social proof and indifference is the key. What I mean, you have to show that she is not the only cat your banging. After all she is a club chick not LTR material. A girl you meet on the first night at a club and make out is not the girl you want to marry. Most likely shes played the same game with other dudes.

Notice how she was calling you 5 times when you didnt pick up. She probably thought you were with some other chick. Once you cave in and start giving her attention she will revert to being a bytch again. Thats just how it works with these types of women.

In my situation, I went no contact (NC) for two weeks. Finally the girl in question called me and I straight up told her I had no time to waste or games to play and that If she wanted to see me fine. If not, I didnt really care. She succumbed and I ended up banging her silly.

You simply have to man up and set some type of ultimatum.

keemojung · Jul 21, 2011

gaspipe said:
Ive had a similar situation with a girl I also met at a club a while ago. She was a solid 8.5. banging body ok face. Constant hot and cold behavior

OK this is how you play it. Social proof and indifference is the key. What I mean, you have to show that she is not the only cat your banging. After all she is a club chick not LTR material. A girl you meet on the first night at a club and make out is not the girl you want to marry. Most likely shes played the same game with other dudes.

Notice how she was calling you 5 times when you didnt pick up. She probably thought you were with some other chick. Once you cave in and start giving her attention she will revert to being a bytch again. Thats just how it works with these types of women.

In my situation, I went no contact (NC) for two weeks. Finally the girl in question called me and I straight up told her I had no time to waste or games to play and that If she wanted to see me fine. If not, I didnt really care. She succumbed and I ended up banging her silly.

You simply have to man up and set some type of ultimatum.

Isn't it ok to offer ultimatum to chicks?

What did u exactly say abt u dont wanna play game with her?

Can u give me the convo? im gonna use it as example to get the

feeling, but not copy yours.

The_411 · Jul 21, 2011

keemojung said:
1. Do u think it is such a short notice to do it that way?

I am quite confident that she is into me.

What do u think is the better way to offer the date, two days in advance?

2. If i said alright then made plan for sth else, should i call her

later to ask for her plan?

3. She even made out with me in her car when we first met.

So I think she feels ok to stay with me.

4. I know that i made a mistake on this point. Well, gotta admit and accept it and learn from it.

5. I think im gonna call her again today's night to offer the date

tomorrow's night and if she doesn't pick up the call

then i think i will act aloof like for 4-5 days before offering her

last chance to get a date with me.

Are there any ways to cure my current situation please?

PS i still spin plates with other 3 chicks but this one i like her the most

and i wanna bang her and close the deal and move on.

It's not wrong to set something up the next day it's just that your expectations should be low to non-existant.

You should always be ready to do something else. Once you base your level of enjoyment or plans on what a woman might do you're sunk.

Yes you may have had comfort when you met but it's clearly not there. Anytime woman asks to bring a friend along with a few select exceptions it denotes that she's not comfortable with you entirely.

You're at your own peril.

Ultimatums can only be given when you are the person in power but paradoxically if you are the person in power you rarely if ever should ever need to give an ultimatum.

Ultimatums are lose lose propositions.

keemojung · Jul 21, 2011

The_411 said:
It's not wrong to set something up the next day it's just that your expectations should be low to non-existant.

You should always be ready to do something else. Once you base your level of enjoyment or plans on what a woman might do you're sunk.

Yes you may have had comfort when you met but it's clearly not there. Anytime woman asks to bring a friend along with a few select exceptions it denotes that she's not comfortable with you entirely.

You're at your own peril.

Ultimatums can only be given when you are the person in power but paradoxically if you are the person in power you rarely if ever should ever need to give an ultimatum.

Ultimatums are lose lose propositions.

yesterday, i called her and asked

me: what r u doin this weekend

her: im goin out of town with one friend of mine

me: well where you gonna go

her: .....

me: well, interesting, i once think that i wanna go there.

We have a lil chitchat

me: ok, that's it for now, you should get back to your friend

her: ahh, i think you wanna come with us

me: well, i gotta check my schedule first and i will give you a call later

in the night

Finally, in the call later the night, i agree to go with her.

Do i look needy or desperate in this convo?

How can i make comfort with her so that she is willing to stay with me alone?

I think im starting go give her more attention than she has got before

but im doin this bcuz there will so many chances we will be close together

to create comfort even though her friend also tag along.

Moreover, during weekday, it is hard to ask her out as she always

stay with her friends. So, i think this is a good opportunity to score her.

The_411 · Jul 22, 2011

keemojung said:
yesterday, i called her and asked

me: what r u doin this weekend

her: im goin out of town with one friend of mine

me: well where you gonna go

her: .....

me: well, interesting, i once think that i wanna go there.

We have a lil chitchat

me: ok, that's it for now, you should get back to your friend

her: ahh, i think you wanna come with us

me: well, i gotta check my schedule first and i will give you a call later

in the night

Finally, in the call later the night, i agree to go with her.

Do i look needy or desperate in this convo?

How can i make comfort with her so that she is willing to stay with me alone?

I think im starting go give her more attention than she has got before

but im doin this bcuz there will so many chances we will be close together

to create comfort even though her friend also tag along.

Moreover, during weekday, it is hard to ask her out as she always

stay with her friends. So, i think this is a good opportunity to score her.

The issue here it that I get the feeling that you basically invited yourself. Now you're weren't obnoxious about it which is good but when a woman doesn't flat out invite you to begin with it's usually not a good sign.

Why? You initially wanted her to come out with you. Now you're going with her out to where she wants to go with her friend. She is now controlling the encounter.

You've gone from isolation and going somewhere you want to go to group and going somewhere she wants to go. She's leading and that's bad. It may go well this weekend but ultimately unless you regain leadership she'll LJBF you.

The other thing this does is make you available, which is the enemy of attraction.

She wasn't available for you but you were avaialble for her again not lethal on occasion but if it becomes a pattern you're toast.

keemojung · Jul 24, 2011

The_411 said:
The issue here it that I get the feeling that you basically invited yourself. Now you're weren't obnoxious about it which is good but when a woman doesn't flat out invite you to begin with it's usually not a good sign.

Why? You initially wanted her to come out with you. Now you're going with her out to where she wants to go with her friend. She is now controlling the encounter.

You've gone from isolation and going somewhere you want to go to group and going somewhere she wants to go. She's leading and that's bad. It may go well this weekend but ultimately unless you regain leadership she'll LJBF you.

The other thing this does is make you available, which is the enemy of attraction.

She wasn't available for you but you were avaialble for her again not lethal on occasion but if it becomes a pattern you're toast.

Ok I got your point bro

Thx for your suggestion.

I think that i won't call her too often maybe 1-2 days a call

and sometimes wont pick up her call and not return her missed call

, maybe, bcuz of im busy or just lazy to talk to her.

Is this good for attraction?

Tiguere · Jul 24, 2011

No because you just faking it. How about get busy with picking up other chicks at the club or with a hobby.

keemojung · Jul 24, 2011

Tiguere said:
No because you just faking it. How about get busy with picking up other chicks at the club or with a hobby.

Well, I do work out 3 days a week and play badminton with my friends during my free time.

I also spin plates with other 4 chicks. (I got their numbers from both

indirect and cold approach during daytime)

However, i think im still have a lot of free time. -*-

and that makes me feel quite needy and desperate sometimes.

Maybe it is because right now my school is closed

and it gonna open again in the next two weeks.

Then, during that time, i guess i will be a lot busier than the way i am right now.

keemojung · Jul 26, 2011

The_411 said:
The issue here it that I get the feeling that you basically invited yourself. Now you're weren't obnoxious about it which is good but when a woman doesn't flat out invite you to begin with it's usually not a good sign.

Why? You initially wanted her to come out with you. Now you're going with her out to where she wants to go with her friend. She is now controlling the encounter.

You've gone from isolation and going somewhere you want to go to group and going somewhere she wants to go. She's leading and that's bad. It may go well this weekend but ultimately unless you regain leadership she'll LJBF you.

The other thing this does is make you available, which is the enemy of attraction.

She wasn't available for you but you were avaialble for her again not lethal on occasion but if it becomes a pattern you're toast.

Ok the past weekend, i ended up going out of town with her and one friend of hers. I banged her and we had a very good time.

She and her friend sometime say like "After we got back to our town,

I might disappear" in a playful manner.

The thing is we came back to our town on Sunday evening, and right now

is Tuesday afternoon, and she still haven't contact me at all.

Im thinking i will go NC until Thursday night and i will give he a call to

ask her out and bang her silly again.

Im thinking that she is trying to control the game which i won't

allow her to do that.

What do u guy think about this situation?

Should i call her first or wait until she call me first?

Initiate the call first can indicate ur neediness, right?

I think right now she might be a little aware of my neediness

but im trying to keep things cool as much as possible.

Is she trying to control the power?

The_411 · Jul 26, 2011

Well first off congrats. The problem is that you're analyzing every move. That it of itself shows neediness. Try to get to a point where you're not over analyzing every situation. As for women they are alwys trying to get control so just assume that is the case..

keemojung · Jul 27, 2011

The_411 said:
Well first off congrats. The problem is that you're analyzing every move. That it of itself shows neediness. Try to get to a point where you're not over analyzing every situation. As for women they are alwys trying to get control so just assume that is the case..

So I would try to keep casual contact.

The thing is when i call her to ask her out. First we have a lil chitchat 1-2 min

then

me: what r u doing after work today?

her: im not sure

me: Which day do u free after ur office hour? These days

I have to do my business around your office. I wanna watch movie

so i call to ask u if u r in.

her: well, not sure, may be Thu or Fri (Today is Wed)

me: All right, (lil chitchat), then talk to u later then i gotta go

What do u think about this convo?

I try to keep it cool and ask her out and she always

say "not sure, may be" WTF??

I wanna ask her out and bang her silly man!

How would u respond in this case bro?

Allurre · Jul 27, 2011

If a woman ever wants to hang out with another man, she WILL make time available for him.

If you've selected a day where she isn't available, SHE will suggest another day to meet up.

keemojung · Jul 27, 2011

Allurre said:
If a woman ever wants to hang out with another man, she WILL make time available for him.

If you've selected a day where she isn't available, SHE will suggest another day to meet up.

I got ur point but how would u respond in my situation, the one above yours??

Is this called woman flake?

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