ELMER_GANTRY
Don Juan
I've read and responded to a couple of threads on here, where guys were talking about how they lost their girlfriends, due to lack of interest and affection. So, I thought I would write a thread about not letting your girlfriend disrespect you, or it will ruin your relationship, and you will eventually lose her. I think a lot of guys will benefit from this and hopefully they will realize what not to let your girlfriend do to you., which is disrespect you.
In both cases, the relationship was going along pretty well, and then the chick started to lose interest in the guy, the guy took notice of her lack of attention and affection, let it go for a while, then either questioned her about why she was acting that way, or tried to gain her affection back by being way too nice, needy, wimpy, and trying to prove himself and his love to her. He didn't address the critical issue at hand, the chick lost more interest in him, basically taking control of the entire relationship, she tells him she doesn't want to be with him anymore, he begs and pleads for another chance, that completly turns her off, and then the relationship goes up in flames never to be salvaged again. Does this sound familiar? The guy is confused, hurt, depressed, and wondering what the hell happened. But if he took in account of what was really going on, what he might of did wrong, and what event triggered the problem, it could of been fixed and possibly even be repaired.
It all boils down to respect. When your girlfriend respects you, she is in to you, she loves you, she thinks the world of you, will want to do anything and everything with you, nothing can change her mind about you. When she loses respect for you, what does she do? She distances herself from you, loses the affection, the love isn't there anymore, YOU become a problem, her problem. She finds you as more of an annoyance, she doesn't talk to you as much, text you as much, you are the one always calling her, she ignores you more and more, there are no "I Love You's", she picks fights with you, blames you for everything, all the things that you used to do that made her happy, don't make her happy anymore. In fact, she now finds them irritating, and doesn't want you to do them anymore. She will find other guys more interesting than you. That is all because she lost respect for you. Most guys go about it the wrong way, instead of fixing the problem at hand, they let her control the relationship, they turn over the reigns, let her lead, and let the wheels fall off the wagon. They think if they show her more love and affection, that she will suddenly start returning the love again, which she never does because that turns her off even more. They will also make the critical mistake of asking her what is wrong, when you should figure out what the problem is and fix it yourself.
The problem is that you let her take over and control the relationship. She is leading and you are following, which is always a recipe for disaster. She lost your respect and you are struggling to get it back, in which most of the time you never do.
How do you lose respect you might say? Well... it is very easy. Somewhere along the way there was an event that triggered the whole snowball effect of her disrespecting you that lead to your downfall. Now think back...there was something that she did to you that caused disrespect. What did you do that was so bad?
YOU LET HER GET AWAY WITH DISRESPECTING YOU.
Yes, that was it!! She disrespected you, and you said nothing about it to her. She got away with it. You let her get away with it, and you let her disrespect you. You were afraid to step up to the plate and be a man, and tell her that her disrespectful behavior wasn't right, and that you won't accept it. That is where you went wrong, and made your most critical mistake in your relationship. You wimped out, were afraid to be a controlling boyfriend, swept it under the rug, and she got away with disrespcting you. It might be even a minor thing, but as you should know, it's the minor things that turn into major things that always ruin a relationship. And as the old saying goes...If you give them an inch, they will take a mile.
So, the girlfriend disrespects you, which you let her do, and she looks at it from her point of view and says to herself...
"Wow... he let me treat him this way, he let me do this to him. He is afraid to be man, if he lets me do this thing to him, what else will he let me do? Will he protect me when I need him? Maybe not, if he is afraid to put me in my place. How can he protect me from another man when I need him? He is not the secure guy I thought. He looks weak to me. I can manipulate him now to do what I want him to do. I can get away with anything now. I can do what I want. I'm in control of things now. He is not. He will jump through my hoops. I can tell him what to do. How can I take him seriously anymore when he won't stand up to me? He is not a challenge, maybe I need to look for another guy. His insecure behavior really disgusts me. He is not a man that I need. I have to let him go. I need another guy. He is gone, we are over."
All of that is going through her head because you let her disrespect you. So don't ever let her do that to you. Ever!! When you let her do that, the relationship changes, and she becomes in control, and then you have to fight to get the control back which you never do. She does what she wants, she doesn't listen to you anymore. Then you wonder why she doesn't. She sees you as a weak and irrelevant man. You wimp out, then you want to talk it over with her, which never works because you can't reason with her. Her emotions are in control and her mind is made up, and the downward spiral continues. If you weren't afraid to put her in her place the first time, and show her that you are the man, and that she should never do that to you, then you wouldn't be in this predicament in the first place. So don't let her disrespect you, because you will lose control, her respect for you, and you will lose your girlfriend very soon.
Here is a example from a poster on here and what lead to his downfall in his relationship.
He knew his girfriend was playing a drinking game, he didn't like it, he was afraid to be a controlling boyfriend, so he let it go, and let her get away with it. She saw he didn't step up to the plate and be a man, she disrespected him. He let her do that to him. She lost respect for him. Then next time she played he got mad and they argued and fought about it. Instead of putting it into acton. If he would of put her in her place from the start, this would of never occured. She lost respect for him, told him that she would do what she wanted, and she will play the game, if he likes it or not, she didnt care what he said, his words were no good. She wouldnt listen to him. She lost respect for him, and he let her get away with it again for another time. She became in control of the relationship. See how quickly the tide can turn when she loses respect? She quickly became distant and the love wasn't there, the things he did that made her happy, didn't anymore. Those things he did now made her mad, she fought with him and accused him. He tried to talk and wimped out more with her. Trying to prove his love to her, and trying to gain back her affection when he didn't solve the problem at hand. Things got worse and she felt suffocated by his extra effort to show his love. She was still leading and he was following. She then told him they shouldn't see each other anymore, it wasn't working, he wasn't a challenge, and he tried to reason with her. It didn't work as you could imagine. She became more distant, he kept chasing her, calling her, texting her, when she never did. He was her problem, and with like most problems, you get rid of them, and that is what she did to him. She told him it was over, and he still begged and pleaded for her to come back, until he drove her away for good, and pushed the relationship into extinction.
This was all due to the fact that she disrespected him, he was afraid to step up and be a man, and put her in her place. She lost respect, took control of the relationship, he was following, while she was leading, lost her interest in him, became disgusted with him, and then he lost his girlfriend.
Don't let this happen to you, don't ever be afraid to be a man and control the relationship. Don't ever let your girlfriend disrespect you, or you will lose her respect, her love, and you will lose her. Then you will be wondering why she lost her love for you and where it all went wrong.
In both cases, the relationship was going along pretty well, and then the chick started to lose interest in the guy, the guy took notice of her lack of attention and affection, let it go for a while, then either questioned her about why she was acting that way, or tried to gain her affection back by being way too nice, needy, wimpy, and trying to prove himself and his love to her. He didn't address the critical issue at hand, the chick lost more interest in him, basically taking control of the entire relationship, she tells him she doesn't want to be with him anymore, he begs and pleads for another chance, that completly turns her off, and then the relationship goes up in flames never to be salvaged again. Does this sound familiar? The guy is confused, hurt, depressed, and wondering what the hell happened. But if he took in account of what was really going on, what he might of did wrong, and what event triggered the problem, it could of been fixed and possibly even be repaired.
It all boils down to respect. When your girlfriend respects you, she is in to you, she loves you, she thinks the world of you, will want to do anything and everything with you, nothing can change her mind about you. When she loses respect for you, what does she do? She distances herself from you, loses the affection, the love isn't there anymore, YOU become a problem, her problem. She finds you as more of an annoyance, she doesn't talk to you as much, text you as much, you are the one always calling her, she ignores you more and more, there are no "I Love You's", she picks fights with you, blames you for everything, all the things that you used to do that made her happy, don't make her happy anymore. In fact, she now finds them irritating, and doesn't want you to do them anymore. She will find other guys more interesting than you. That is all because she lost respect for you. Most guys go about it the wrong way, instead of fixing the problem at hand, they let her control the relationship, they turn over the reigns, let her lead, and let the wheels fall off the wagon. They think if they show her more love and affection, that she will suddenly start returning the love again, which she never does because that turns her off even more. They will also make the critical mistake of asking her what is wrong, when you should figure out what the problem is and fix it yourself.
The problem is that you let her take over and control the relationship. She is leading and you are following, which is always a recipe for disaster. She lost your respect and you are struggling to get it back, in which most of the time you never do.
How do you lose respect you might say? Well... it is very easy. Somewhere along the way there was an event that triggered the whole snowball effect of her disrespecting you that lead to your downfall. Now think back...there was something that she did to you that caused disrespect. What did you do that was so bad?
YOU LET HER GET AWAY WITH DISRESPECTING YOU.
Yes, that was it!! She disrespected you, and you said nothing about it to her. She got away with it. You let her get away with it, and you let her disrespect you. You were afraid to step up to the plate and be a man, and tell her that her disrespectful behavior wasn't right, and that you won't accept it. That is where you went wrong, and made your most critical mistake in your relationship. You wimped out, were afraid to be a controlling boyfriend, swept it under the rug, and she got away with disrespcting you. It might be even a minor thing, but as you should know, it's the minor things that turn into major things that always ruin a relationship. And as the old saying goes...If you give them an inch, they will take a mile.
So, the girlfriend disrespects you, which you let her do, and she looks at it from her point of view and says to herself...
"Wow... he let me treat him this way, he let me do this to him. He is afraid to be man, if he lets me do this thing to him, what else will he let me do? Will he protect me when I need him? Maybe not, if he is afraid to put me in my place. How can he protect me from another man when I need him? He is not the secure guy I thought. He looks weak to me. I can manipulate him now to do what I want him to do. I can get away with anything now. I can do what I want. I'm in control of things now. He is not. He will jump through my hoops. I can tell him what to do. How can I take him seriously anymore when he won't stand up to me? He is not a challenge, maybe I need to look for another guy. His insecure behavior really disgusts me. He is not a man that I need. I have to let him go. I need another guy. He is gone, we are over."
All of that is going through her head because you let her disrespect you. So don't ever let her do that to you. Ever!! When you let her do that, the relationship changes, and she becomes in control, and then you have to fight to get the control back which you never do. She does what she wants, she doesn't listen to you anymore. Then you wonder why she doesn't. She sees you as a weak and irrelevant man. You wimp out, then you want to talk it over with her, which never works because you can't reason with her. Her emotions are in control and her mind is made up, and the downward spiral continues. If you weren't afraid to put her in her place the first time, and show her that you are the man, and that she should never do that to you, then you wouldn't be in this predicament in the first place. So don't let her disrespect you, because you will lose control, her respect for you, and you will lose your girlfriend very soon.
Here is a example from a poster on here and what lead to his downfall in his relationship.
He knew his girfriend was playing a drinking game, he didn't like it, he was afraid to be a controlling boyfriend, so he let it go, and let her get away with it. She saw he didn't step up to the plate and be a man, she disrespected him. He let her do that to him. She lost respect for him. Then next time she played he got mad and they argued and fought about it. Instead of putting it into acton. If he would of put her in her place from the start, this would of never occured. She lost respect for him, told him that she would do what she wanted, and she will play the game, if he likes it or not, she didnt care what he said, his words were no good. She wouldnt listen to him. She lost respect for him, and he let her get away with it again for another time. She became in control of the relationship. See how quickly the tide can turn when she loses respect? She quickly became distant and the love wasn't there, the things he did that made her happy, didn't anymore. Those things he did now made her mad, she fought with him and accused him. He tried to talk and wimped out more with her. Trying to prove his love to her, and trying to gain back her affection when he didn't solve the problem at hand. Things got worse and she felt suffocated by his extra effort to show his love. She was still leading and he was following. She then told him they shouldn't see each other anymore, it wasn't working, he wasn't a challenge, and he tried to reason with her. It didn't work as you could imagine. She became more distant, he kept chasing her, calling her, texting her, when she never did. He was her problem, and with like most problems, you get rid of them, and that is what she did to him. She told him it was over, and he still begged and pleaded for her to come back, until he drove her away for good, and pushed the relationship into extinction.
This was all due to the fact that she disrespected him, he was afraid to step up and be a man, and put her in her place. She lost respect, took control of the relationship, he was following, while she was leading, lost her interest in him, became disgusted with him, and then he lost his girlfriend.
Don't let this happen to you, don't ever be afraid to be a man and control the relationship. Don't ever let your girlfriend disrespect you, or you will lose her respect, her love, and you will lose her. Then you will be wondering why she lost her love for you and where it all went wrong.
