Man, I just give up on this whole thing

I am honestly done with trying to get women, "spin plates", be a DJ.

Why does the simple biological act of a man and a woman having sex have to be so complex, subject to 1000s of do's and don'ts, require so much time, money, and effort all to then have to put up with a bunch of flaking, rejection, drama, games just so we can stick our d*cks in a wet hole a few times.

Maybe I just was not meant to be good with women. Maybe my game is weak, or I act too playerish or I don't persist enough, or I persist too much, or I look ugly, or I am so good-looking im intimidating, or I don't approach enough women, or I approach too many and come of insincere, too boring or too outlandish, try-hard or too reserved.....who the f*ck knows? The fact is, I can never meet this ridiculous standard that society has placed on me for me to be worthy of women's attention.

What makes it worse, is most of the women I run into are so out-of-shape and homely looking, and yet this whole diva attitude still exists among the vast majority of them.

The time's I have gotten laid required so little effort and went so smoothly I guess I can't fathom anymore why would I waste all this time trying to frantically wade through dirt with 1000s of other desperate guys trying to compete for the few gems that are actually worth keeping around.

I would much rather spend my time working hard at my career, exercising and playing sports, hanging out with friends and family, playing video games, and just enjoying life in general. I have enough stress in my life as it is and don't needed the added pressure of trying to be a "Don Juan" or "Ladies Man" in order to impress ugly broads that can't even bother to lift a damn weight once a week.

I'm just gonna make a ton of money and buy a bunch of escorts. I'd rather pay for guaranteed drama-free sex with an attractive woman than dance in circles to win the attention of some washed up bar skank that's going to use her p*ssy to extract as much out of me as possible.

I bet you guys are all elated there's one less guy to compete with. Go ahead and have them.....for me the jig is up....my epiphany came when I realized how much time i wasted trying to impress women and the great things I could have achieved by now had I focused on more worthwhile pursuits.

I just was never that good with women and probably never will be....and im finally ok with that because im way happier being good at other things.

Espi said:

I think most people (men and women) often feel what you feel...if it were easy to have an abundance of beautiful women at your disposal, then you wouldn't appreciate having them...I find that the toughest things in life are the things most worth pursuing, the things most worth having.

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We can't all be superman. I'm under constant pressure to do well at work, to eat right, to exercise, and then on top of that I have bills to pay, a place to take care of, friends and family to spend time with, errands to run.

And then on top of that I have financial and personal goals I want to achieve, I put all my energy towards trying to pursue worthwhile investments in myself....honestly if i did have an abundance of beautiful women at my disposal then that would be one less worry in my life so I could focus on other stuff. Constantly chasing women is not something I particularly enjoy doing, especially when the majority of women I run into aren't even worth it looks or personality wise. And if they are, they are a huge pain in the ass to try and get them to go out with you if you're not the best of the best in their eyes.

Espi said:

EDIT: No matter how hard you try, you'll never be able to give up on women...as a man, it's biologically impossible for you...your d1ck will always desire the most beautiful women...so you might as well embrace your sexual impulses rather than repress them.

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That's what porn, escorts, and strippers are for.

Why are their biggest customers wealthy men?

B/c wealthy men know time is money.....and a nut is a nut. If the direct costs of chasing p*ssy (club covers, drinks, dinners, nice clothes to impress) plus the opportunity cost of time (time spent cold approaching, socializing, maintaining a relationship) which could have been spent billing extra hours, starting a new business, learning a new skill etc is more than the cost of an attractive escort.....then its not a worthwhile investment in my eyes.

sstype,

Actually you do get it, but you don't get that you get it. The key is getting your stuff together and building the lfie you want. Women are supposed to be a supplement to your life you're building not the focus.

Spinning plates is encouraged because guys usually get beat by oneitis. You want to have multiple options so you don't focus on one and so you can understand that being scare creates greater demand as you get further and further away from the equilibrium. (Yes, there is math involved).

The thing of it is that when women break down they have to give off the attitude that they're above you becuase they have pump themselves up to think they're viable.

It's not a competition really it's more of udnerstanding who is worth your time and who isn't and the things you can control and not stressing over that you can't.

Well first off, you do wanna get better at this, otherwise you wouldn't have started a thread about it. Second, stop stressing something that you find of little importance.

When I started learning this stuff, I didn't set out specific days to learn this crap. I just actively practiced throughout my day. I would read the DJ Bible every morning. I would practice what I learned, on women, the same day I read about it. After a while things start clicking. But don't stress it.

Also, actively learn. Every time I watched a movie, anytime I see a guy game a girl, I would study what he was doing. This is realized what my game was missing the whole time. I wasn't being sexual enough.

All that weird crap that you tell yourself you would never say, you gotta start saying it. All the stuff you think you would get a sexual harassment lawsuit for saying, you gotta start saying it. Don't be aggressive, but don't be timid. If she starts talking about penis' and sex, join in the conversation.

I shouldn't be explaining all this. Check my sig about being sexual.


You just need to stop being sooooo... needy with wanting to get better. Its like learning to play an instrument. An hour of practice a day for a few months will work wonders. Take it slow, and just escalate to your next level every week. You'll see progress.



And like 411 said, you already get it, so stop stressing it. Its not supposed to be work.

NOW you will get laid and a relationship if you so choose. When one stops trying and begins to live their own life, women just begin to fall into one's lap. That is what always happens with me.

I know this is how it works for me. Women can smell desperation miles away and they will run. Now when you say you will work on yourself and be happy, that to me sends the vibe that you are just wanting to have fun which is what women want from their men in the first place to take them away from their sh!tty lives. Just make sure you actually qualify them (my number of women has been low with only five, but my quality of women has been off the charts. Four LTRs and two of them has lasted a year plus).

Also about the escourt idea I am reminded of a quote. "Sex for money or sex for love. It is always cheaper to go for sex for money." I know that I butchered it too

- comic_relief

sstype, you're doing the right thing, taking a step back. Focus on other things for a while, until you feel that you have solid land under your feet. No one can keep up looking for women constantly. Take a break, get back to it when you feel like it.

sstype said:

Why does the simple biological act of a man and a woman having sex have to be so complex, subject to 1000s of do's and don'ts, require so much time, money, and effort all to then have to put up with a bunch of flaking, rejection, drama, games just so we can stick our d*cks in a wet hole a few times.

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Yes. Well said. We weren't built for this. We weren't built for being packed together in night clubs, jerking spasmodically to mindless music in the hope of impressing women. We weren't made for chasing women in a chaotic game with no rules, armed with nothing but words and smiles.

It didn't use to be like this. We used to work at the farm, where we had a known value and a place in life. We went to the Sunday dance where there were just a dozen boys and a dozen girls in our own age. It was pretty much clear who would end up with who.

Or we would go to the ball, and write our name in a girl's dance card. Everyone knew how you were supposed to greet a girl, what you should offer, what her options for a response were, and how to proceed from there. You didn't have to wonder, the road was clear for both parties, and there were built-in social mechanisms for saving face that everyone understood.

Way before that we would sweep down the hillside or disembark the boats, raid the enemy village and either we died, or we won and grabbed the women and brought them back home.

We were not made to be equals with women, packed in with tens of thousands of other equals in the same city, all mechanized and uninteresting, chasing women with a chip on their shoulder and their heads full of Facebook attention. We used to have our standing and actions speak for us to women, not our words.

Maybe that's why we love watching war news on TV and playing war games on computers. We want something that is simple and straightforward.

Now that you have given up, and have adopted the "I don't give a fuk" attitude, I predict an HB10 will become attracted, pull off her thong and willingly sit on your face.

yum yum

read some of roissy's blog. roissy.wordpress.com

Veridin said:

We weren't built for this. We weren't built for being packed together in night clubs, jerking spasmodically to mindless music in the hope of impressing women. We weren't made for chasing women in a chaotic game with no rules, armed with nothing but words and smiles.

It didn't use to be like this. We used to work at the farm, where we had a known value and a place in life. We went to the Sunday dance where there were just a dozen boys and a dozen girls in our own age. It was pretty much clear who would end up with who.

Or we would go to the ball, and write our name in a girl's dance card. Everyone knew how you were supposed to greet a girl, what you should offer, what her options for a response were, and how to proceed from there. You didn't have to wonder, the road was clear for both parties, and there were built-in social mechanisms for saving face that everyone understood.

Way before that we would sweep down the hillside or disembark the boats, raid the enemy village and either we died, or we won and grabbed the women and brought them back home.

We were not made to be equals with women, packed in with tens of thousands of other equals in the same city, all mechanized and uninteresting, chasing women with a chip on their shoulder and their heads full of Facebook attention. We used to have our standing and actions speak for us to women, not our words.

Maybe that's why we love watching war news on TV and playing war games on computers. We want something that is simple and straightforward.

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Exactly. Well said.

5string said:

Now that you have given up, and have adopted the "I don't give a fuk" attitude, I predict an HB10 will become attracted, pull off her thong and willingly sit on your face.

yum yum

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That sounds real good right now

The 411;

I don't think not having enough plates is my issue. I always try to talk to and ask out many women, the problem is for whatever reason, the vast majority of them end up leading to nothing. I've approached in gyms, supermarkets, clubs, bars, bookstores......and ironically enough my easiest pickup was a stripper I met at the strip club she worked at. We are currently dating and she is way hotter, cooler, and smarter than any of the women i tried talking to at the more "socially acceptable" venues. I just got lucky I guess.

Trust me on this, something is wrong with women these days, even my guy friends, who, like me, are all above average in looks, have good jobs, their own places, easy going, are struggling worse than I am.

Diaforetikos:

I really don't care anymore man....I did make improvements in terms of being able to hold a conversation and being confident around women, and to me thats good enough. Any more hoops i have to jump through to fulfill a basic need is a waste of my time. If all i'm just looking to do is bust a nut, all it takes 10 minutes and some good porn.

Veridian/ 5 string:

Good post. I agree 100%

sstype

I really believe you are overthinking all this stuff. Please don't become overly concerned about it. You seem like a good guy.

I think that finding a good women is like luck. A nice one will show up when you least expect her to.

It'll happen when it happens.

I dated one from an online dating site recently.
She was sooooo far out of my league, I just went for the fun/practice and was completely my jovial self.
There was sizzling chemistry and I'm still seeing her.
There is a 50/50 chance she'll eat me, but it was still worth it.

They can smell nervousness, desperation and frustration. The beauty of spinning plates, is it's not so binary. It doesn't boil down to the binary equation alone / not alone, but rather: maybe her / or some other.

MB

sstype said:

Trust me on this, something is wrong with women these days, even my guy friends, who, like me, are all above average in looks, have good jobs, their own places, easy going, are struggling worse than I am.

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I was talking to a girl about this some weeks ago, the one female friend I have - I see her maybe once every three weeks. She lives in the same dorm as my last girlfriend lived in. She is an unusual girl, analytical, doesn't like the games other girls play.

I told her, "A guy today has to be good at dancing in a club, and smiling and saying the right things there. The guys who are good at this get the most girls. That's really weird. What kind of quality is that, to be good at the club scene?"

And it just really clicked in her mind. "Yeah. I haven't thought of that. Poor guys! Yeah, why should that be the deciding thing."

Indeed.

Why doesn't this problem get more attention?

I have a few theories, but I'd be interested in hearing more.

- Most guys are happy to have "any" girlfriend/wife and date/marry some UG3 and look at porn on the side.

- Some guys lucked out somehow and got a girl out of their league with similar social circles or money. Some of these women may even be low quality (personality wise) but the guy puts up with the personality because of her looks.

- Or very simply, a lot of guys just don't care about this stuff as much for whatever reason, and maybe belong to the 1 or 2 category.

sstype said:

What makes it worse, is most of the women I run into are so out-of-shape and homely looking, and yet this whole diva attitude still exists among the vast majority of them.

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well my friend, a lot of women in society are like that, what causes that is hundreds of really desperate guys that constantly try to get at these broads and then these girls egos will go through the roof, thinking they look like Vida Guerra when they got love handles bigger than you do hanging on the sides

ah it's just frustration that things are changing fast enough, after a few days or so you'll feel better

Veridin said:

Yes. Well said. We weren't built for this. We weren't built for being packed together in night clubs, jerking spasmodically to mindless music in the hope of impressing women. We weren't made for chasing women in a chaotic game with no rules, armed with nothing but words and smiles.

It didn't use to be like this. We used to work at the farm, where we had a known value and a place in life. We went to the Sunday dance where there were just a dozen boys and a dozen girls in our own age. It was pretty much clear who would end up with who.

Click to expand...

I appreciate the simplicity of that lifestyle, but I have to admit: if this stuff were as simple as having the townsfolk set me up with a nice young lady who will stay with me because my farming skills are keeping a roof over her head, I would get....bored...as...SH*T.

I like this challenge. I love everything about this. I love when I succeed and I love when I fail, because at least I'm a part of the game. I have so many friends that are happy to settle down with the first chick who spreads her legs for them. It's the path of least resistance. And while they'll never experience great loneliness, they'll also never experience great pride or accomplishment. Because they don't take risks. They take what life hands them, and plod along with their simple, average little life.

...Even my best friend. Great guy, but not attractive or skilled with women. Anyway, his wife is a beautiful girl....totally out of his league (if you believe in leagues). But she is one of TWO women he has slept with his entire life. And as pretty and nice as she is, I couldn't settle down after only being with two women. Because once again, I love this chase. I want to see what's out there.

So maybe you're right. Maybe we're not built to be impressing women, etc, etc. But personally, I'm not built to have any woman just bowing down to me purely for the fact that I'm a man. It sounds boring. I want them to bow down to me because I'm a GREAT man.

And really, when you think of it, stories and folktales from every generation of mankind are built around some guy trying to impress some chick. The issue of men desiring a challenging woman isn't new to mankind.

I hear what you are saying, Mantis. And I have a friend just like that, who settled for the first girl who gave him the time of day - in fact I think I know many guys like that. And I too would be bored as hell by it.

But while I wouldn't want that, I do think we weren't made for this, the way things are now. I think the ways things used to be - the raid, the town life, the ballroom dance, to give some quick examples - were closer to a man's instincts. And that is why it was so. I think what is truly natural for us is to let our actions speak for us, instead of having to put on a smile and say the right things at a club.

When online dating started, I thought it looked like a great way to get away from the ridiculousness of having to compete by being the slickest fella in the room. Alas, online dating has its own kind of games.

I think that word is what I'm trying to get at ... "game." Instead of actions, instead of winning through our quality, we have to "play a game."

I remember standing in front of the mirror once before I was going to go out with my friends. I had been reading something interesting and meaningful on my computer right before that, but now I had to put on my best fashionable clothes, check my hair, and prepare for the game. Prepare for a place with music I never liked. I was looking at myself in the mirror and I thought, "What the hell is this? I know so much and I have done so much and this is what I have to do to get women? Make sure I'm wearing the right kind of shirt?"

There's something stupid about it all.