How to combat a declining IL?

Her calls/texts aren't as often, as enthusiastic, she isn't as eager to see you or please you. What's the most effective move a DJ can make to salvage the situation?

Let her contact you. Distance yourself. She'll wonder what's up and her IL will most likely go back up. Another thing is that she needs to know that you have, or can have other options besides her.

Back off.

Attention is currency. If she's not earning the attention you give her, then take some back. Give her a pay cut, if you know what I mean.

Either your lowered level of attention sparks interest in her or it causes her to leave entirely, which would have happened anyway.

The lower level of attention will spark interest by making her wonder if you've become interested in another woman or if you're losing attraction to her or whatever crazy thoughts enter a woman's head.

So that's pretty much your only tool. You're not going to raise her IL by being MORE attentive and more loving. It's gotta be the opposite.

Good advice.

How long have you been seen this chick? Exclusive? Part of plate rotation?

More details, man. More details.

I'm in a similar situation - my question is how much to back off? I mean, you can go all the way from just flat out waiting for her to contact you, to maybe sending her a text every few days just to say "hi". If you completely back off, will she get the impression that YOU have no interest and in return lose interest herself?

Mantis Toboggan said:

Attention is currency.

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No truer words were ever spoken.

charlie647 said:

I'm in a similar situation - my question is how much to back off? I mean, you can go all the way from just flat out waiting for her to contact you, to maybe sending her a text every few days just to say "hi". If you completely back off, will she get the impression that YOU have no interest and in return lose interest herself?

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Search Ganji Games. Just be aloof, disinterested and BUSY! You can always slip some teasing after a week or two if you see her on a regular basis.


That works %100 if you made your intentions clear and she has/had interest at some point. If the two arent met it is like beating a dead horse but you should be moving on for real anyway.

Keep your distance, spin more plates, don't chase, and be busy with your goddamn life.

Case closed. Point blank.

Let her see you with other women. There's only one emotion that keeps women up at night. JEALOUSY.

As others have said backing off is the best thing to do this situation. If its just dating or a relationship this will conclude to either:

• She has interest in you this will not push her away when she realizes she hasn't "got you". May think you have lost interest, lined up someone else etc. Begins to miss your attention and will begin thinking what she did wrong, or even ask you something on them lines. She will do anything she can to get your attention.
• She may have someone else lined up. If she doesn't contact you, or contacts you being non-flirty/non-enthusiastic/doesn't make any effort to see you,you've saved yourself a whole lot of time. Oh, and if it doesn't work out with her other option its very likley she will come back to you at some point later on - of which you don't go there and move on, your not second best and you do not take sloppy seconds, right?

From previous experience, trying to gain a chicks interest by being very giving is the worst thing to do and will possibly make a fool out of you.

Great thoughts

Falcon got it right.

Yes, backing off, giving her space, acting busy/aloof, and generally doing the same to her that she's doing to you - CAN (sometimes) make her come begging back into your life... But, if her IL is down - there's a reason, and you need to figure out what that reason is, and MAKE SURE you work on that with the next one! There's generally 4 reasons a girl loses interest: 1) You're too nice/too much of a push over. --- 2) You're too available to her. --- 3) You're not leading the relationship (letting her make all the choices.) --- 4) You're too needy/crowding her!.... There's also a 5th reason, and that one is ANOTHER GUY! (i'd say this is 50% of the time, but is' out of your control; the other 4 are in your control.)

In short - you're not a challenge to her.

Falcon said to make her jealous. And honestly, in all my years - that is the only sure fire way to get things done. IF she sees you with another woman - the beast will be unleashed! You will not see a gradual increase in her IL, you will see a huge increase in her IL. ~Field Tested~

The only thing that scares me about telling younger/inexperienced guys this, is - sometimes she will throw tons of sh!t at you and you must be ready for it! Be ready for anything... From tears, to "I never want to see you again!" If you're not ready for that - don't even consider playing these games.

If you're looking for the perfect answer, that will fix things perfectly - there isn't one.

bukowski_merit said:

Falcon got it right.
But, if her IL is down - there's a reason, and you need to figure out what that reason is, and MAKE SURE you work on that with the next one! There's generally 4 reasons a girl loses interest: 1) You're too nice/too much of a push over. --- 2) You're too available to her. --- 3) You're not leading the relationship (letting her make all the choices.) --- 4) You're too needy/crowding her!.... There's also a 5th reason, and that one is ANOTHER GUY! (i'd say this is 50% of the time, but is' out of your control; the other 4 are in your control.)

In short - you're not a challenge to her.

Falcon said to make her jealous. And honestly, in all my years - that is the only sure fire way to get things done. IF she sees you with another woman - the beast will be unleashed! You will not see a gradual increase in her IL, you will see a huge increase in her IL. ~Field Tested~

If you're looking for the perfect answer, that will fix things perfectly - there isn't one.

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I had to bold big all of those reasons!!! That sh*t needs to go in the bible! For the perfect answer that will fix things perfectly; Fame and fortune.

Since "there's another guy" is say 50% of the time, is there anything you can do in this situation? Or do you just next her?

you combat it by having even lower IL than hers'

It has already been alluded to above:

Rollo Tomassi said:

In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least.

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Here's a good read on the subject:

The Cardinal Rule of Relationships

Either way (either declining IL or another dude) chasing her will not work.

best way to sum it up.

STOP GIVING A SH1T.

Just do your thing. If it works out, fcking awesome you get to fck a hot girl. If it doesn't, who fcking cares. Not the end of the world - we have more important sh1t to worry about, right? (fcking hope so man, women should never be a priority unless you're about to marry her. Even then she's there to help YOU, not the other way around)