I on the edge of not NEVER try to meet girls online again. Help!

I'm recently single and I'm trying to sharpen my saw again and just have conversation with new girls. I'm a member of this site that's kind of like Facebook, but more flirty and with games & more things to connect beyond friends.

I messaged about 15 girls with this to open:
[Insert name here], are you shy or something? I took a look at your profile and you haven't offered me to chat or even said hello! ; ]

I got some pretty friendly first responses, but things went downhill after that.
One girl who seemed like the good, cute & sweet kind of girl I go for was responding, but later shot me down. Here's a picture of her:

http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i202/Robyn923b/thm_phpTlvO7g.jpg

I don't see where I messed up, but the reactions are telling me I did. What do you guys think?
Here's the actual conversation:

"3:34pm Jan 29th
Me: Katherine, are you shy or something? I took a look at your profile and you haven't offered me to chat or even said hello! ; ]

5:57pm Jan 29th
hb8.5: Aww man I'm sorry I didn't see that or I would have responded!

10:42am Jan 30th
Me: Apology not accepted; I'm putting this on your "I owe you" list ;]

Don't you just feel bad for those guys who don't get it and send those "Hey baby" or "daaamn, you're hot" messages/comments. Gee, if I get those myself and I'm a guy, you guys must get that times ten!

Tell me, do I look gay or something?

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NO RESPONSE FORM HER
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3:51pm Jan 30th
Me: Playing hard to get already?

3:51pm Jan 30th
Hb: hahah no i'm just not on here constantly. i'm sorry.

3:55pm Jan 30th
Me: I'm not here much either. Well, you seem like someone I'd make friends. Ideally, it would have been nice to have seen you somewhere and approach you in person, but let's make the best of what's here.

I'm in the East Coast right now for vaca, but let's trade info and maybe we can go get tea somewhere or go for a walk when I get back! =]

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NO RESPONSE AGAIN
-------------------------

Yesterday at 10:30am
Me: Someone has been checking me out because your fingerprints are all over my profile ; ]

Mmm...you're really trying to make me work, huh? Haha, well that's two strikes, silly. To be honest, I'm kind of nervous to give out my phone # & friend you cause you might print out my pics and put them on your room wall or call me 100 times haha, but you have this warmth in your eyes so strong that the sun cannot compete with; it's something different that made me wanna take the risk =] Not to mention your hair, it kinda reminds me of a bird's nest, hah.

If I were to meet you it would have to be in a WIDE open , public place where I can run away if you turn out to be a psycho ; ] But hey, maybe you're busy, super shy, or scared somehow and that's cool, mutual loss.

Yesterday at 6:01pm
Hb: what are you talking about....?

Yesterday at 6:58pm
Me: You're kidding, right?

Yesterday at 7:22pm
Hb: haha no i don't even know you and haven't asked to see you and i definitely wouldn't stalk you im so confused by you

Today at 1:55pm
Me: Haha, I don't know you either and that's
Haha, I don't know you either and that's the whole point in the last message about your eyes! Right up ^^^ Let's drop the games; what's the best number where you can be reached, Katherine? =]

I'm going to be busy for the following two weeks, but I'll call you to say hi and set something up to hangout.
Haha, I don't know you either and that's the whole point in the last message about your eyes! Right up ^^^ Let's drop the games; what's the best number where you can be reached, Katherine? =]

I'm going to be busy for the following two weeks, but I'll call you to say hi and set something up to hangout when I'm done with my stuff.

Today at 5:45pm
Hb: you creep me out (ooouuuccchhh!)

Today at 11:15pmYou
No worries if you're not interested. I appreciate the honesty, though.

Last thing before I let you go: what could have been done differently so that I reduce my chances of doing the same to the next girl?"

double post

Well you sound like a nerd trying to use PUA techniques to score chicks over the internet. It's like you have a routine. I mean, that's not a personal insult. But that's what you sound like.

Does this site have profiles where you can read their hobbies and interests? Try having real conversations with these chicks instead of saying, "Playing hard to get?" "Are you shy?"

All that ****y/funny/flirty stuff works best in PERSON. On the internet it just sounds creepy and desperate.

If you read that a girl is into the movie Zombieland, you could IM her and say "You like Zombieland? I just saw it. Awesome movie....I hear they're coming out with a sequel." Hey, that sounds like a guy with something to talk about and not just a list of "cool, flirty" things to say. That sounds like a guy you might want to talk to for a bit.

Oh, and these internet girls usually aren't going to want to meet you RIGHT AWAY. It might take an email exchange or two. It's not gonna be "Hey we talked on the internet for 5 minutes. Let's meet in real life right now."

Dude,

I am trying to help you here, but I must be honest.

When I read your opener and e-mails, I winced and was on the verge of being physically sick.

Robyn923b said:

"3:34pm Jan 29th
Me: Katherine, are you shy or something? I took a look at your profile and you haven't offered me to chat or even said hello! ; ]

Your opener reeks of neediness.

5:57pm Jan 29th
hb8.5: Aww man I'm sorry I didn't see that or I would have responded!

10:42am Jan 30th
Me: Apology not accepted; I'm putting this on your "I owe you" list ;]

Don't you just feel bad for those guys who don't get it and send those "Hey baby" or "daaamn, you're hot" messages/comments. Gee, if I get those myself and I'm a guy, you guys must get that times ten!

Tell me, do I look gay or something?

Makes you seem like a domineering creep, as if she owes you something.

Put her up on a pedestal by acknowledging the fact that she could have d1ck whenever she wanted

Putting yourself down and kicking yourself in the balls.

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NO RESPONSE FORM HER
-----------------------------
3:51pm Jan 30th
Me: Playing hard to get already?

Probably worth follow up just to make sure she isn’t interested, so can’t fault your intentions.

3:51pm Jan 30th
Hb: hahah no i'm just not on here constantly. i'm sorry.

A complete lie and you know it.

3:55pm Jan 30th
Me: I'm not here much either. Well, you seem like someone I'd make friends. Ideally, it would have been nice to have seen you somewhere and approach you in person, but let's make the best of what's here.

I'm in the East Coast right now for vaca, but let's trade info and maybe we can go get tea somewhere or go for a walk when I get back! =]

Don’t acknowledge the weirdness of chatting up a chick online, since it makes you look weird.

And then you try to get her number without asking anything about her. She sees through your transparent b/s about friends and know all you want to do is fvck her.

No wonder she doesn’t respond.

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NO RESPONSE AGAIN
-------------------------

After this, she is plainly not interested. 2 strikes and it is over. Or is it?…

Yesterday at 10:30am
Me: Someone has been checking me out because your fingerprints are all over my profile ; ]

Mmm...you're really trying to make me work, huh? Haha, well that's two strikes, silly. To be honest, I'm kind of nervous to give out my phone # & friend you cause you might print out my pics and put them on your room wall or call me 100 times haha, but you have this warmth in your eyes so strong that the sun cannot compete with; it's something different that made me wanna take the risk =] Not to mention your hair, it kinda reminds me of a bird's nest, hah.

If I were to meet you it would have to be in a WIDE open , public place where I can run away if you turn out to be a psycho ; ] But hey, maybe you're busy, super shy, or scared somehow and that's cool, mutual loss.

You completely went off the rails here. WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? She has already (by not responding twice) shown she is not interested, and yet you accuse her of being a stalker when to anyone reading this, you are clearly the stalker.

Weird raving about her eyes doesn’t help.


Yesterday at 6:01pm
Hb: what are you talking about....?

Yesterday at 6:58pm
Me: You're kidding, right?

Yesterday at 7:22pm
Hb: haha no i don't even know you and haven't asked to see you and i definitely wouldn't stalk you im so confused by you

Today at 1:55pm
Me: Haha, I don't know you either and that's
Haha, I don't know you either and that's the whole point in the last message about your eyes! Right up ^^^ Let's drop the games; what's the best number where you can be reached, Katherine? =]

I'm going to be busy for the following two weeks, but I'll call you to say hi and set something up to hangout.
Haha, I don't know you either and that's the whole point in the last message about your eyes! Right up ^^^ Let's drop the games; what's the best number where you can be reached, Katherine? =]

I'm going to be busy for the following two weeks, but I'll call you to say hi and set something up to hangout when I'm done with my stuff.

More weird raving about her eyes, on two occasions. Digging your grave deeper.

Today at 5:45pm
Hb: you creep me out (ooouuuccchhh!)

Who can blame her?

Today at 11:15pmYou
No worries if you're not interested. I appreciate the honesty, though.

Last thing before I let you go: what could have been done differently so that I reduce my chances of doing the same to the next girl?"

Click to expand...

Iceberg has good advice. I suggest you follow it.

That what seems awkward is less awkward, that which seems less awkward is awkward.

Internet dating is for pussies.

Get your ass out of your house and hit up some bars/clubs.

What runner83 said.

Dude...wow.

I mean...are you paying attention at ALL to what she says? Or are you just throwing as many lines at her as possible hoping she'll get overwhelmed and spread her legs for you out of sheer confusion?? I'm willing to bet she could come out and say, in big bold type:

I do not want to meet you. You scare the sh*t out of me...don't message me again.

...and you STILL would not get it.


You say you're on the "edge of not trying to meet girls online"? Good! JUMP OFF! Because what you're doing isn't working, and anyone on this forum who HAS ever been on a date with a girl, or has even struck up a conversation with a stranger, can tell why.


My advice to you would be to go out into public, preferably a bar, party, or some other situation where people are being social with each other, and learn to TALK to women.

Don't try to pick them up. Just resign yourself to whacking off at night for a while and learn to just TALK to women, like human beings.

If yuo're a creepy, socially awkward guy and you equip yourself with all kinds of PUA techniques, you don't become a Don Juan, you become a creepy, socially awkward guy with PUA techniques.

Robyn923b said:

I on the edge of not NEVER try to meet girls online again. Help!

Click to expand...

IF I were you I would take the best advice offered on this thread......you're own. And leave internet dating alone. Because frankly, you suck at it.

That was one of the worst email exchanges I have ever seen. You seem desperate, clingy, psycho, stalkerish, a mess to be honest.

I am actually surprised she lasted as long as she did talking to you. I would have stopped after the 2nd response. STOP with the desperate, canned one liners where you try to seem like you are so cool and she is lucky to be talking to you. Anyone can see right through that.

Just act natural, if acting natural for you is at all sane. If not....give up, because the only kind of girl you will get is another psycho.

I really wonder sometimes who comes here for this site because they actually just suck, as in have no shot, to ever meet a hot girl and have a relationship with her. I mean it just isn't that hard. But then I see guys like you, actually lots of guys like you, and I realize there are plenty of guys out there with no clue. Or they are just strange. I have often said how weird most people in this world are, and you prove it! At least with that email exchange.

Sorry to be so harsh, but that was brutal.

Guys, keep in mind I just got out of a 2.5 year LTR with an hb8.5 and the reason why we broke up is I moved across the country; I might be rusty, but I'm definitely not socially awkward. I've always been not very successful with girls online. And don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to justify myself. I knew I was doing something wrong, but some of you just come and kick me when I'm already down.

I admit having approach anxiety, but the times I've come out of it, good things have happened. (I actually met my ex-girlfriend during one of those days). Growing up, my family didn't have very good social skills, so I lack an example of what to do;hence, I have to learn everything on my own. My dad never talked to me about women, sex and things like that. If I were waiting for an example from my family, I'd be a friendless, awkward guy who just has no idea how to interact with others.

This is a sensitive topic for me, but I'm willing to take constructive criticism with the goal of getting out of being this way because I know how ridiculous I come off.

On a good note, I've had the blindfold strapped away from me (at least with this girl) and for that I am thankful!

Iceberg said:

Well you sound like a nerd trying to use PUA techniques to score chicks over the internet. It's like you have a routine. I mean, that's not a personal insult. But that's what you sound like.

Does this site have profiles where you can read their hobbies and interests? Try having real conversations with these chicks instead of saying, "Playing hard to get?" "Are you shy?"

All that ****y/funny/flirty stuff works best in PERSON. On the internet it just sounds creepy and desperate.

If you read that a girl is into the movie Zombieland, you could IM her and say "You like Zombieland? I just saw it. Awesome movie....I hear they're coming out with a sequel." Hey, that sounds like a guy with something to talk about and not just a list of "cool, flirty" things to say. That sounds like a guy you might want to talk to for a bit.

Oh, and these internet girls usually aren't going to want to meet you RIGHT AWAY. It might take an email exchange or two. It's not gonna be "Hey we talked on the internet for 5 minutes. Let's meet in real life right now."

Click to expand...

I don't see how the heck I didn't actually think about taking the time to look at her profile. I'm not exactly sure how to approach internet stuff. Although after checking out some profiles I can tell I'm not interested in the girl, sometimes there's not enough info and so I try to do time-management and do some copy and paste, but it just backfired completely.

Exactly! I find meeting/talking to women in person so much easier; I actually have a good success rate. I don't take talking to women online seriously, more as an experiment to see what reactions I get.

runner83 said:

Dude, I am trying to help you here, but I must be honest.

When I read your opener and e-mails, I winced and was on the verge of being physically sick.

Iceberg has good advice. I suggest you follow it.

Click to expand...

Right on the money Runner83. I can make sense of what you said, but could you give me an example of what could have been done differently? That would really help as I'm that kind of a learner.

squirrels said:

Dude...wow.

I mean...are you paying attention at ALL to what she says? Or are you just throwing as many lines at her as possible hoping she'll get overwhelmed and spread her legs for you out of sheer confusion?? I'm willing to bet she could come out and say, in big bold type:

I do not want to meet you. You scare the sh*t out of me...don't message me again.

...and you STILL would not get it.


You say you're on the "edge of not trying to meet girls online"? Good! JUMP OFF! Because what you're doing isn't working, and anyone on this forum who HAS ever been on a date with a girl, or has even struck up a conversation with a stranger, can tell why.

My advice to you would be to go out into public, preferably a bar, party, or some other situation where people are being social with each other, and learn to TALK to women.

Don't try to pick them up. Just resign yourself to whacking off at night for a while and learn to just TALK to women, like human beings.

If you're a creepy, socially awkward guy and you equip yourself with all kinds of PUA techniques, you don't become a Don Juan, you become a creepy, socially awkward guy with PUA techniques.

Click to expand...

(I also posted this answer at the head of the response.)I admit having approach anxiety, but the times I've come out of it, good things have happened. (I actually met my ex-girlfriend during one of those days). Growing up, my family doesn't have very good social skills, so I lack an example of what to do;hence, I have to lear everything in my own. My dad never talked to me about women, sex and things like that. If I were waiting for an example from my family, I'd be a friendless, awkward guy who just has no idea how to interact with others.

This is a sensitive topic for me, but I'm willing to take constructive criticism with the goal of getting out of being this way because I know how ridiculous I come off. I never rally developed my social skills with other women because of the LTR I was in. Now, I have to get back to the war zone if I don't wanna end up jumping on grenades all my life.

cordoncordon said:

IF I were you I would take the best advice offered on this thread......you're own. And leave internet dating alone. Because frankly, you suck at it.

That was one of the worst email exchanges I have ever seen. You seem desperate, clingy, psycho, stalkerish, a mess to be honest.

I am actually surprised she lasted as long as she did talking to you. I would have stopped after the 2nd response. STOP with the desperate, canned one liners where you try to seem like you are so cool and she is lucky to be talking to you. Anyone can see right through that.

Just act natural, if acting natural for you is at all sane. If not....give up, because the only kind of girl you will get is another psycho.

I really wonder sometimes who comes here for this site because they actually just suck, as in have no shot, to ever meet a hot girl and have a relationship with her. I mean it just isn't that hard. But then I see guys like you, actually lots of guys like you, and I realize there are plenty of guys out there with no clue. Or they are just strange. I have often said how weird most people in this world are, and you prove it! At least with that email exchange.


Sorry to be so harsh, but that was brutal.

Click to expand...

This is the harshest thing I've had said to me on this site.
Sheesh, what other things can you call me? "desperate, clingy, psycho, stalkerish, a mess." It is very difficult to talk to someone online for me. I can't read body language, hear her laugh or give me IOI's. I have had success using similar things in the past, but I'm just shooting everywhere in the sky hoping to hit a duck when I'm online.

you talk to damn much, you seem to be almost trying to be "Friends first",
you're trying all kinda stupid techniques and you're all over the place trying too hard, you're coming off as fake and lame.
I can see why she doesn't want to talk to you.

This is another girl I'm talking to on the same site.

I'm not anywhere near as bad as I seemed in the message to Katherine. I got some better feedback with this girl. Oh, and by the way, the opener i used in my message to the other girl(Katherine) came from Gambler;s "The Natural Art of Seduction." I find it counter-intuitive that I come off ass all thethings you guys called me when I'm just following his ideas.

(actual conversation)Check it out:

"2:56pm Jan 29th
Me:Angel, are you shy or something? I took a look at your profile and you haven't offered me to chat or even said hello! ; ]

3:01pm Jan 29th
Hb8: No I'm not a shy person, by I usually do
No I'm not a shy person, by I usually don't look at the persons profile if they look at mine.. But you were nice enoughto message me lol so hello
No I'm not a shy person, by I usually don't look at the persons profile if they look at mine.. But you were nice enoughto message me lol so hello

3:06pm Jan 29th
Me: Nice enough to message you? Hah, do you usually just get dumb comments from guys who don't get it or what? =]
Tell me, do I look gay or something?

3:08pm Jan 29th
Hb:Yeah cuz most guys just look my profile and don't say anything so I don't really care for them.
Lol no guys are just dumb.. And I ignore the stupid ones
No you don't look gay at all

3:13pm Jan 29th
Me: Haha...oh, boy. Well, you seem like someone I'd make friends with, but I didn't want it to be superficial so I wanted to see what you're like. I'm in the East Coast right now for vaca, but let's trade info and maybe we can go get tea somewhere or go for a walk when I get back! =]

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No response from her
-------------------------

10:05am Jan 31st
Me: Playing hard to get already?

11:51pm Jan 31st
Hb: Okay you sound smart haha
Umm yeah sounds cool

No I don't play hard to get, sometimes messages are too long so I take a while to reply

Yesterday at 2:03pm
Me:Haha, aww thanks.

Saw-weet! I'm going to be busy for the following two weeks, but I'll call you to say hi and set something up to hangout after I'm done with stuff. What's the number where you can be reached, girly? =]

Yeah? Hah, what makes you say I sound smart?

Today at 3:20am

Hb:You welcome.

Lol your funny, I don't give my number out so your gonna have to hit me up on here, what is it you do exactly?

Haha yup using big words like superficial"



---------------------------------------------------

I haven't written back to her. How can I not mess this one up?

What's with the "do I look gay" joke?

If I see that one more time, I'm just going to assume you're a retard or a troll. And I'll just ignore your posts on this site.

There's no way an adult male could think that this is a good way to introduce yourself to a girl. Holy sh*t.

edit: shouldn't have fed the troll.

Iceberg said:

What's with the "do I look gay" joke?

If I see that one more time, I'm just going to assume you're a retard or a troll. And I'll just ignore your posts on this site.

There's no way an adult male could think that this is a good way to introduce yourself to a girl. Holy sh*t.

Click to expand...

He's definitely a retard or a troll. It shouldn't take us long to figure out which one.

I'd hate to think that a troll has time to write these long messages on an internet forum. But I'd also hate to think that anyone could be dumb enough to say these things.

Iceberg said:

What's with the "do I look gay" joke?

If I see that one more time, I'm just going to assume you're a retard or a troll. And I'll just ignore your posts on this site.

There's no way an adult male could think that this is a good way to introduce yourself to a girl. Holy sh*t.

Click to expand...

This is not trolling dude, seriously. That one was one of the opener examples in gambgler's book. I hesitated about using it and I'm not using it again. I had already sent the message to her before this thread started though. You can ignore my posts if you think I'm trolling, but I'm just a guy in need of some advice.

Get rid of these dumb, canned lines (especially ones that haven't been working!)

You sound like you're following a script (and that script isn't even Schindler's List, it's like the rejected pages of Cheaper By The Dozen 2) and every thing you're saying is completely unnatural. You're making every other dude on the site who just messages "hey, you're hot" look EXPONENTIALLY better and more date-worthy. And why do you keep telling girls you're on the east coast and can't meet them? Why the fvck are you messaging them then?

Finally, if you're going to do ****y/funny...at least be FUNNY. Be witty, be a little (key word is little) self deprecating, and seem like an enjoyable guy. And stop with the gay question.

Robyn923b said:

This is not trolling dude, seriously. That one was one of the opener examples in gambgler's book. I hesitated about using it and I'm not using it again. I had already sent the message to her before this thread started though. You can ignore my posts if you think I'm trolling, but I'm just a guy in need of some advice.

Click to expand...

Do you often just blindly follow rules you read in books even though they don't sound even a little bit logical?

Is that how you think guys who are getting laid talk? They walk around bars, asking girls if they look gay? Does that make sense to you?

Step 1: Become a person who would be cool to hang out with
Step 2: Mix some sexuality into that

Right now you sound like a rambling psychopath. Fix that. Work on being a fun, cool, conversationalist. Then once you have that, you'll figure out when to mix in the flirting and sexuality.

WhitePimp said:

Get rid of these dumb, canned lines (especially ones that haven't been working!)

You sound like you're following a script (and that script isn't even Schindler's List, it's like the rejected pages of Cheaper By The Dozen 2) and every thing you're saying is completely unnatural. You're making every other dude on the site who just messages "hey, you're hot" look EXPONENTIALLY better and more date-worthy. And why do you keep telling girls you're on the east coast and can't meet them? Why the fvck are you messaging them then?

Finally, if you're going to do ****y/funny...at least be FUNNY. Be witty, be a little (key word is little) self deprecating, and seem like an enjoyable guy. And stop with the gay question.

Click to expand...

I see what you mean; by putting on a gambler mask I will not get better with women. If it gets me this results online, it most likely won't work in person either. Haha, I'm actually in the east coast for vaca; I live in LA and I wanted to see if i could meet some new girls online and catch up with them in CA.

I've had some people tell me I come off as too ****y sometimes, so I'll work on that definitely. Thanks for the heads up Whitepimp.

Iceberg said:

Do you often just blindly follow rules you read in books even though they don't sound even a little bit logical?

Is that how you think guys who are getting laid talk? They walk around bars, asking girls if they look gay? Does that make sense to you?

Step 1: Become a person who would be cool to hang out with
Step 2: Mix some sexuality into that

Right now you sound like a rambling psychopath. Fix that. Work on being a fun, cool, conversationalist. Then once you have that, you'll figure out when to mix in the flirting and sexuality.

Click to expand...

I don't actually follow stuff like, but I wanted to give this one a shot. I feel like I plagiarized and this what I get for doing that. I thought asking girls if you're gay was a terrible idea and I should have followed my gut.

The root of all these issues to meet new people is my insecurities, especially when meeting new girls. It makes me uncomfortable, to know I can be rejected, but that's what I need to work on and not just canned stuff. Thank you for the detailed advice Iceberg; it really helps. :yes:

I have to ask this because I am assuming you are not a retard. Are you foreign? Like from Russia or something? The way you talk/write seems really odd.

IF not, I live in the LA area as well. When you get back, I would be more than happy to have a beer with you and we can talk and see what is going on. Let me know.

In the meantime, STOP with the gay comment, STOP with the I'm on "vaca" (gay) comment, STOP with the I don't give my number out comment. (really? That is something a woman says, not a strong man. Are you afraid of being stalked or something?)

Your 2nd exchange with the other girl was just as bad as the first. You are coming across as trying wayyyyyy to hard, and way to.....weird. Talk naturally. Like you would with a guy at the bar. Not this canned sh!t you picked up somewhere. It is just so bad. So very very bad.