Break up! I'm stressed out and getting needy.

After 2 1/2 years of dating, my LTR has come to an end. I decided to end it, but I'm having post-break-up stress.

Reasons for break up:

So...she pretty much disrespected me. I'm not doing very well financially lately. I'm an honors, first-generation community college student applying to a top-tier, public university and she's in a private 50K/year university. I took 12 credits last semester and she took 19; she rubbed this on my face when she started an argument cause I wouldn't pay $100 for gas after dropping her off at school; I stayed 3 night with her at her apartment and I was pretty bored. Her parents pay all of her schooling expenses. On the other hand, I just moved from coast to coast and I'm paying for my own out-of-state tuition; my parents are low income and can't afford college for me. I'm making this happen for my own good and to give my family a better tomorrow once I make it; I think I'm doing the right thing.

She says I think my money is worth more than hers because I work harder for it than she. Her exact words were "I can't afford this relationship anymore. We come from two different worlds (her family has much more money than mine) and this is never gonna work. You can leave." I said "sorry my family is poor and that I'm not good enough for you" in a sarcastic tone as some tears came out of my eyes(yes, I cried), and then I left.

Keep in mind that this is the sweet little angel I though was the girl of my life. Well, guess what? The kitties are cute, but have razor-sharp claws to tear you apart if they decide. I thought she was different, but she had been showing this indifferent behavior lately. She has a year left to graduate in which shed move to CA with me. However, one night during dinner she said "There's this really good school in Hawaii, but I'm not applying to it because of you(as in this is such a hassle; you're holding me back). I told her she could go and that I wasn't keeping her here and she started crying saying she wanted me to care. Oh...sometimes I don't understand women; they make no sense at all when they do things like this.

In conclusion:
I've done no contact for almost 1 1/2 days and I'm already going crazy. I love her, but what she did was unacceptable; however, I still doubt myself and ask myself if I over-reacted? I will only speak to her if she contacts me. I'm trying to adopt the "it is her loss, not mine" attitude.

I'm all ears, guys

Obviously this girl is extremely vain, caring about money so much. You really think she "loved" you if she made such a big deal about money? Stay strong man, try your very best to No Contact no matter what. It is VITAL for you to do this. Try and go out to a bar or club or something with some buddies, maybe get a few pints in.

Stay strong.

Exactly why only a fool would ever marry a *****. They always change for the worst.

Don't be a *****. Keep up what you're doing and do not contact her.

When you accept it is over, you'll be better for it.

Audiophile said:

Obviously this girl is extremely vain, caring about money so much. You really think she "loved" you if she made such a big deal about money? Stay strong man, try your very best to No Contact no matter what. It is VITAL for you to do this. Try and go out to a bar or club or something with some buddies, maybe get a few pints in. Stay strong.

Click to expand...

She did show me she truly loved me throughout these years, but her comments make me think this is the real her that has come out. I thought the same thing: "Why would she do this if she really loved me?" She said she thought I was going through a phase, but It had been going on for "months". Do you think she could have acted out of impulse?

I'm trying really hard to stick to NC; I'm doing well, so far.

Borknagar said:

Exactly why only a fool would ever marry a *****. They always change for the worst.

Click to expand...

Exactly why only a fool would ever marry a (what)? And what do you mean by this?

seagull said:

Don't be a *****. Keep up what you're doing and do not contact her. When you accept it is over, you'll be better for it.

Click to expand...

I'm trying really hard Seagull, but if you guys have ever gone through a brake-up, you know how crappy it feels.

PairPlusRoyalFlush said:

Loving a girl like that is actually self-hate. I have had major oneitis for low quality women before, and the problem has always been low self-esteem. Fix yourself.

Click to expand...

The thing is she was never like this before, ever. I don't understand the extreme, sudden change in her behavior. She was definitely not low quality in our time together though, but what she did was just all over the floor.

Dude, wtf are you talking about...

You were fvcking 18 when you started a relationship with this girl... How the hell can you be thinking about spending a life with a girl if you don't even know what else is out there.

Dating women is like going to the icecream stance, the first time you go you don't know what tastes good, you gotta taste different flavors to know what you want.

Instead of being so freaking clingy to this one girl, which is clearly an oneitis, try to find your balls back and get out there. Get to know new women... How the hell can you be thinking about such a serious commitment at your age dude...

Stop putting your hopes in finding "the one" and making sure you're with "the one". Instead enjoy life a bit, that way you won't have to go through all this bullsh*t about just one girl. You clearly got women in general on a pedestal, ESPECIALLY your ex.

You want some for real advice: Stop seeing your ex, don't contact her again, don't go back with her and start dating other women. Seriously...
________________

Edit: PS: work on your inner game man, you got good things going for yourself, don't be put down by people who got it "better" than you. The greatest men in history almost alwayse had a bad background...
Thomas edison: poor
Henry ford: poor
Eminem: poor
...
Life isen't decided about what you have but by what you do

Why are you stressed sounds like you got rid of some vain gold digging little princess who sounds like a real *****. If i was you i would be getting the champagne out, you could of ended up marrying this girl and that would of been such a waste.....

However shes done you a favour and ended it. Bro not everyone is born in the most richest families and have everything paid for them in life, sounds like to me that you are doing great with what you had, which says a lot about you. If she trys contacting you again, which i am pretty sure she will do, just tell her to "**** off" because any girl that rejects you because of the background you were brought up in, dosnt really deserve your time.


So now that you are single you can start dating and start finding what else is out there and from judging who you have been with, i am very sure there is quite a lot better out there, you just don't know it yet.

So dude just log off the computer and go out tonight with some buddies. MAKE SURE TO HAVE A LOT OF FUN and go talk to some HAWT GIRLS, when you come back you will be wondering "what was that girls name i was with again...."haha

You just found out that she wasn't what you expected. You just dodged a bullet.

Now you need a good recovery period to heal all those wounds you sustain.

Can take a while.

Unfortunately, you need to spin more plates. An almost three year relationship just ending over basically nothing seems pretty odd, but when you are dealing with a woman that's LOW quality that's what you get. Yes, she is low quality. She's low quality because when a quality woman has a good thing and a good relationship she doesn't fvck that up over nothing, there would need to actually be an ISSUE at hand for the relationship to end. However, I would say that majority of women in the 18-30 year old age are low quality in 2011 just to be honest with you. Everything could be going well and then out of the blue, the chick changes, why? Because the current state of affairs says she can. The concept of "love" "the one" and all that bullshyt DOESN'T exist no more in the 18-30 year old range and some say not at all. I think today you are lucky to find a decent and quality chick but man, it's hard as hell.

Spinning plates is our only defense against this and stats say a good number of chicks have some form of an STD so please wrap it up. If the chick wants to leave she's not hurting you none, you have 4 other chicks that look BETTER than her that you have more free time to spend with. Now truth be told, it will probably be only a matter of time before those 4 chicks do the same shyt and we are back here talking about the need to spin more plates lol. But if you don't spin plates Robyn, you will go out of your mind. Chicks are not like dudes. Chicks are some pretty fvcked up people that make irrational decisions based upon emotions, social perception, and other bullshyt that most guys just do not give a fvck about. Most of the time, when a chick rejects you it had not a damn thing to do with you, just the state of this fvcked up culture we are in.

Serious relationships are for serious and quality chicks, low quality chicks you treat as a player would treat his hoes. You cheat on them, keep yourself busy so you don't have enough "time" for them, and basically blow them off. For some strange reason, for low quality chicks, this makes the dumb broads chase you more but at least you will know going forward WHO THEY ARE as to not mistake them for quality chicks.

Treat a hoe with some sense and she'll dump you. Treat a hoe like she knows she deserves to be treated and she'll worship the ground you walk on.

see if you can manipulate her into giving you money. you didnt really portray her in such a good light, but man I know where youre coming from.

dont stress it... go out and get laid, itll take your mind off of it.

Credos said:

Dude, wtf are you talking about...

You were fvcking 18 when you started a relationship with this girl... How the hell can you be thinking about spending a life with a girl if you don't even know what else is out there.

Dating women is like going to the icecream stance, the first time you go you don't know what tastes good, you gotta taste different flavors to know what you want.

Instead of being so freaking clingy to this one girl, which is clearly an oneitis, try to find your balls back and get out there. Get to know new women... How the hell can you be thinking about such a serious commitment at your age dude...

Stop putting your hopes in finding "the one" and making sure you're with "the one". Instead enjoy life a bit, that way you won't have to go through all this bullsh*t about just one girl. You clearly got women in general on a pedestal, ESPECIALLY your ex.

You want some for real advice: Stop seeing your ex, don't contact her again, don't go back with her and start dating other women. Seriously...
________________

Edit: PS: work on your inner game man, you got good things going for yourself, don't be put down by people who got it "better" than you. The greatest men in history almost alwayse had a bad background...
Thomas edison: poor
Henry ford: poor
Eminem: poor
...
Life isen't decided about what you have but by what you do

Click to expand...

I have gone out int appointments with many girls and none of them were good enough. This girl has showed me she loves me in every way, but I seriously haven't been paying attention to her as much as I did before. I think her feathers getting ruffled was a desperate need for attention. She mentioned several times "you're just not as sweet and caring as before."

Being a relationship without having onetitis is highly improbable; in the event you can pull it off, you probably didn't have a relationship since the beginning. Regarding the financial situation: she should have never brought it up, or said it in the way she did, but I've said much worse things to her and she always comes back crawling to me.

I know I have options and I went a partied since we broke up. The more time I spend with other girls, the more I realize she's the one I want.

rushing dude 123 said:

Why are you stressed sounds like you got rid of some vain gold digging little princess who sounds like a real *****. If i was you i would be getting the champagne out, you could of ended up marrying this girl and that would of been such a waste.....

However shes done you a favour and ended it. Bro not everyone is born in the most richest families and have everything paid for them in life, sounds like to me that you are doing great with what you had, which says a lot about you. If she trys contacting you again, which i am pretty sure she will do, just tell her to "**** off" because any girl that rejects you because of the background you were brought up in, dosnt really deserve your time.


So now that you are single you can start dating and start finding what else is out there and from judging who you have been with, i am very sure there is quite a lot better out there, you just don't know it yet.

So dude just log off the computer and go out tonight with some buddies. MAKE SURE TO HAVE A LOT OF FUN and go talk to some HAWT GIRLS, when you come back you will be wondering "what was that girls name i was with again...."haha

Click to expand...

I went out last night and there's a looot of trashy girls out there. I have been with her for a long time and I want to give it a last shot before I comeptely rule her out of my life. I don't want to look back in a few weeks/months/years/decades and ask myself what would have happened if I had only called her. Women like to be chased, we all know that. She wants me to show her I actually care about her.

Thank you for you what you said about what I'm doing. I work very hard for what I have and she has things handed to her. She has to come to realize we are simply different. The only complain I have about her is she could be a little slimmer on the legs, but other than that she's an hb9.

powpow said:

see if you can manipulate her into giving you money. you didnt really portray her in such a good light, but man I know where youre coming from.

dont stress it... go out and get laid, itll take your mind off of it.

Click to expand...

I don't get it, can you be more specific?

Robyn923b said:

After 2 1/2 years of dating, my LTR has come to an end. I decided to end it, but I'm having post-break-up stress.

Reasons for break up:

So...she pretty much disrespected me. I'm not doing very well financially lately. I'm an honors, first-generation community college student applying to a top-tier, public university and she's in a private 50K/year university. I took 12 credits last semester and she took 19; she rubbed this on my face when she started an argument cause I wouldn't pay $100 for gas after dropping her off at school; I stayed 3 night with her at her apartment and I was pretty bored. Her parents pay all of her schooling expenses. On the other hand, I just moved from coast to coast and I'm paying for my own out-of-state tuition; my parents are low income and can't afford college for me. I'm making this happen for my own good and to give my family a better tomorrow once I make it; I think I'm doing the right thing.

She says I think my money is worth more than hers because I work harder for it than she. Her exact words were "I can't afford this relationship anymore. We come from two different worlds (her family has much more money than mine) and this is never gonna work. You can leave." I said "sorry my family is poor and that I'm not good enough for you" in a sarcastic tone as some tears came out of my eyes(yes, I cried), and then I left.

Keep in mind that this is the sweet little angel I though was the girl of my life. Well, guess what? The kitties are cute, but have razor-sharp claws to tear you apart if they decide. I thought she was different, but she had been showing this indifferent behavior lately. She has a year left to graduate in which shed move to CA with me. However, one night during dinner she said "There's this really good school in Hawaii, but I'm not applying to it because of you(as in this is such a hassle; you're holding me back). I told her she could go and that I wasn't keeping her here and she started crying saying she wanted me to care. Oh...sometimes I don't understand women; they make no sense at all when they do things like this.

In conclusion:
I've done no contact for almost 1 1/2 days and I'm already going crazy. I love her, but what she did was unacceptable; however, I still doubt myself and ask myself if I over-reacted? I will only speak to her if she contacts me. I'm trying to adopt the "it is her loss, not mine" attitude.

I'm all ears, guys

Click to expand...

I can understand what you are going through because i am somewhat in the same boat. I feel that some of the Older DJ's do not understand that being in a LTR at a young age and being with that same girl has a feeling of being "preferred" because we grew up in a technology era. And I KNOW you know like i do how these women are now a days. It gets scary to realize,"Im back on the field, trying to find a good chick which feels rare." mode. Me being in the same boat i do not have the advice of telling you to speak to her or not, but i do feel that if you chose not to speak with her, do not date any chick to release stress. I made this mistake, and that girl i dated was wild in her pass. (ewww) I dropped her like i was holding on to satans baby.

Robyn923b said:

I went out last night and there's a looot of trashy girls out there. I have been with her for a long time and I want to give it a last shot before I comeptely rule her out of my life. I don't want to look back in a few weeks/months/years/decades and ask myself what would have happened if I had only called her. Women like to be chased, we all know that. She wants me to show her I actually care about her.

Thank you for you what you said about what I'm doing. I work very hard for what I have and she has things handed to her. She has to come to realize we are simply different. The only complain I have about her is she could be a little slimmer on the legs, but other than that she's an hb9.

Click to expand...

Dont be a tool, you're just telling yourself what you want to here. Its delusional. She's a *****, every poster has said it. You say you know her, but she's not the person you started out with. She said some horrid things to you, and you have done nothing wrong. Grow a pair, do yourself a favour and dont call her again. Think of anyone who is happy, succesful and succesful with women, do you think they would act in the way you are?

WAKE UP.

And finally:

Women like to be chased, we all know that

Click to expand...

No they do not. You need to be smart to all this hype about "women want a sensitive man, women want a nice guy," Because its not the case.

And finally there's this guys blog you should read, that should hopefully get your head straight. Read the 16 commandments aswell.

http://roissy.wordpress.com/

Robyn923b said:

I've done no contact for almost 1 1/2 days and I'm already going crazy. I love her, but what she did was unacceptable; however, I still doubt myself and ask myself if I over-reacted? I will only speak to her if she contacts me. I'm trying to adopt the "it is her loss, not mine" attitude.

I'm all ears, guys

Click to expand...

Try getting some testicles...they work for me

Robyn923b said:

I went out last night and there's a looot of trashy girls out there. I have been with her for a long time and I want to give it a last shot before I comeptely rule her out of my life. I don't want to look back in a few weeks/months/years/decades and ask myself what would have happened if I had only called her.

Click to expand...

Yeah. You will totally regret it not having called a girl that totally disrespected you cause you will never find a girl that isn't a vain b|tch like her and is good to you cause this one is the only girl in the world

disrespect = NEXT

There's a difference between games and disrespect. Most guys will still chase women that play games cause that's how women are. But no man should take disrespect.

Robyn923b said:

Women like to be chased, we all know that. She wants me to show her I actually care about her.

Click to expand...

Well you can do that, but from the looks of it she obviously dosn't care about you. Also you are right women do like to be chased, which is exactlly why she will just run away from you as you do so.

You seem like a good guy, I wish i could help you, but sometimes the greatest gift of life is figuring things out on your own. So yeah do what you think is best.

I'm back in the game & she is ooout! It's me time now(including new, hotter chicks!)

Dearl said:

I can understand what you are going through because i am somewhat in the same boat. I feel that some of the Older DJ's do not understand that being in a LTR at a young age and being with that same girl has a feeling of being "preferred" because we grew up in a technology era. And I KNOW you know like i do how these women are now a days. It gets scary to realize,"Im back on the field, trying to find a good chick which feels rare." mode. Me being in the same boat i do not have the advice of telling you to speak to her or not, but i do feel that if you chose not to speak with her, do not date any chick to release stress. I made this mistake, and that girl i dated was wild in her pass. (ewww) I dropped her like i was holding on to satans baby.

Click to expand...

I don't get what you mean by you dating that girl who was wild in her pass

As of the rest of the post: Amen!!! Now, I didn't say that to justify neediness, though. I called her the other day and we talked for two hours. I don't regret calling, but there was a point where I was saying I messed up and guess what I got? "I'm sorry Robyn, I just can't do this anymore. I want to be happy and I'm sad all day cause you're gone in CA(she's in NY)." She's moving to CA in 1 1/2 years and she said: "I'll call you in 1 1/2 years and if you still love me, we can get back together. I'm not available for anyone else until then. I will always love you, Robyn" I was thinking "yeeeeah right," throughout the time she said that. I said "maybe" when she mentioned getting together in the future. She also never said sorry regarding what she said about my financial situation. Stupid b!tch!

We were in a long-distance relationship and we fight when we are away from each other(which is more time than than what we spend together). We were close distance for 1 1/2 years and distance made it go down.

Bottom line regarding me making contact and calling:

The good:I feel good about myself cause I can now let go completely of her and not worry about that bug in my head making me ask myself what could have happened.

The bad: There was a point where I was asking her to get back together and I got shot down time after time even though she said she truly loves me and doesn't want anyone else. I fvcked up in this sense, but hey I got something good at least: never come to any other b!itch like that EVER again.

Bottom line about this relationship: fvck this girl. I have better girls to come in my future and if she doesn't want me, I'll get the next girl waiting in line for me haha. I told her she could call me or write me letters cause she likes that kinda stuff, but I've thought about it since two days ago when I talked to her and I'm going into completely no contact. Let's hear some opinions!

JT7890 said:

Unfortunately, you need to spin more plates. An almost three year relationship just ending over basically nothing seems pretty odd, but when you are dealing with a woman that's LOW quality that's what you get. Yes, she is low quality. She's low quality because when a quality woman has a good thing and a good relationship she doesn't fvck that up over nothing, there would need to actually be an ISSUE at hand for the relationship to end. However, I would say that majority of women in the 18-30 year old age are low quality in 2011 just to be honest with you. Everything could be going well and then out of the blue, the chick changes, why? Because the current state of affairs says she can. The concept of "love" "the one" and all that bullshyt DOESN'T exist no more in the 18-30 year old range and some say not at all. I think today you are lucky to find a decent and quality chick but man, it's hard as hell.

Spinning plates is our only defense against this and stats say a good number of chicks have some form of an STD so please wrap it up. If the chick wants to leave she's not hurting you none, you have 4 other chicks that look BETTER than her that you have more free time to spend with. Now truth be told, it will probably be only a matter of time before those 4 chicks do the same shyt and we are back here talking about the need to spin more plates lol. But if you don't spin plates Robyn, you will go out of your mind. Chicks are not like dudes. Chicks are some pretty fvcked up people that make irrational decisions based upon emotions, social perception, and other bullshyt that most guys just do not give a fvck about. Most of the time, when a chick rejects you it had not a damn thing to do with you, just the state of this fvcked up culture we are in.

Serious relationships are for serious and quality chicks, low quality chicks you treat as a player would treat his hoes. You cheat on them, keep yourself busy so you don't have enough "time" for them, and basically blow them off. For some strange reason, for low quality chicks, this makes the dumb broads chase you more but at least you will know going forward WHO THEY ARE as to not mistake them for quality chicks.

Treat a hoe with some sense and she'll dump you. Treat a hoe like she knows she deserves to be treated and she'll worship the ground you walk on.

Click to expand...

Bold = strongly agree.

Good quality girls are getting scarce, but hell, high-quality girls are like freaking shooting stars: extremely rare and going by in the speed of light!

I'm probably gonna sound like a little b!tch saying this, but it hurts to be rejected by someone you care for - especially when you put your ego down and call. Lesson learnt the hard way: NEVER do this non-sense again.

todays_news said:

Dont be a tool, you're just telling yourself what you want to here. Its delusional. She's a *****, every poster has said it. You say you know her, but she's not the person you started out with. She said some horrid things to you, and you have done nothing wrong. Grow a pair, do yourself a favour and dont call her again. Think of anyone who is happy, succesful and succesful with women, do you think they would act in the way you are?

WAKE UP. And finally: No they do not. You need to be smart to all this hype about "women want a sensitive man, women want a nice guy," Because its not the case. And finally there's this guys blog you should read, that should hopefully get your head straight. Read the 16 commandments aswell.

http://roissy.wordpress.com/

Click to expand...

1) I did tell myself what I wanted to hear, but I feel better now knowing I didn't hold back and it's her loss not mine. I'll make another chick extremely happy if she doesn't want me and that girl will do the same for me or NEEEXT! Check out the first response in this same reply ^^^ I'm not calling her again and I'm seriously considering not answering her letters, e-mails, and phone calls, but I wanted to get some light from fellow DJ's before pulling the plug and I'll probably get mixed opinions.

2) I have read about women cheating in their fertility period: it's a biological certainty and I'm with you on this one. Thanks for the heads up; I nearly forgot that good stuff.

3) The rough words shook me up and got me out of the strong stage of pvssy trance - it's all about getting my game sharp again, thanks a lot bro!

f283000 said:

Yeah. You will totally regret it not having called a girl that totally disrespected you cause you will never find a girl that isn't a vain b|tch like her and is good to you cause this one is the only girl in the world

disrespect = NEXT

There's a difference between games and disrespect. Most guys will still chase women that play games cause that's how women are. But no man should take disrespect.

Click to expand...

Mmm...now that I look back at my post I ask myself how I could have been so close-minded. We have all failed though, and that makes us successful (for those of us who are, don't get your hopes up and if you're a loser, haha).

That smiley was golden; it translated to "ohhh..please, dude." Sweet!
Take a look at the rest of the response ^^^

rushing dude 123 said:

Well you can do that, but from the looks of it she obviously dosn't care about you. Also you are right women do like to be chased, which is exactlly why she will just run away from you as you do so.

You seem like a good guy, I wish i could help you, but sometimes the greatest gift of life is figuring things out on your own. So yeah do what you think is best.

Click to expand...

True! She doesn't care about being together as much as she did before and she said it: "If this had happen when you were different about 8 months ago, I would have considered it, but things just aren't great anymore." This is actually true: I did change.

So why did I change? I moved from depressing-weathered Boston to sunny LA, CA and realized there are waaay better-looking and higher-quality babes there(although they are shallow, but hey that's what I hit the gym up for,) and lost interest in her. I realized I could be just fine without her and I detached from her.

Why did I try to get her back after I knew I had lost interest?
That's the one-million-dollar question! I guess I just felt it as safe and I had her by the vag and when this changed I felt unpowered - just good old psychology coming back to me

The important thing is that you feel that you can move on freely now. I'm sure there will be posters who will disagree with what you've said and done, but that's how it is with anything in these forums.