Need a date idea..!

OK - I know we are not supposed to fixate on targets and this is all about fishing, and we must spin plates, blah blah - but there is one specific target I really need specific help about.

She works in the same coffee shop with the girl I recently nexted. (http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=179717&highlight=boilermaker)

They are friends but not very close. She is a little bit shy 20-year old, I have been teasing her, approaching other people in front of her (not attempting pick-ups, but rather casually), being social and really funny around her. At times she doesn't work as a barrista, she comes and joins our mutual friends so we have social rapport as well. I am in very good terms with her best friend and her best friend fights for my attention, too, so that creates further tension.

From the responses to my jokes/teases, her demeanor, her questions to other people about details about me and her overall behavior I am fairly sure that I "have" her, already.

But I don't know how I can escalate without losing my powers and current higher ground. I discovered that a budding DJ like me can very quickly converge back to the AFC mindset under different circumstances so I don't want to fvck this up. Even if it doesn't work; I must do it properly so that I at least LEARN something about it.

Currently, I feel that there's enough momentum for me to escalate and if I linger a lot longer, I'll start to actually care about this and I don't want that.

I need to ask her to "join me ..." in an activity -- but I want to do something physical, that would allow some kino escalation. Maybe calling her over to my place is too strong?.. Or not?... An outdoors activity?... But what?..

I need ideas guys, what do you think?..

I don't have time for stupid dates that lead nowhere and lose momentum, and I want to close this deal quickly.

Spring, Summer, or Fall, my favorite date is skydiving. As it's a bit pricey, it's more than you'd want to spend on someone with little potential, but skydiving is awesome and I have always played it as "It's a surprise - I'll pick you up saturday afternoon and don't wear any loose-fitting clothing." You just have to ascertain how she would take it so you don't waste $180; qualify her level of adventuresome-ness.

Winter - Iceskating is tons of fun. I haven't had an iceskating date in a long time, but we'll see what this winter brings.

I've always liked pool...if she's not that good at it, you can easily stand close to her and show her "how to hold the stick". (there's a ton of double entendres in a game involving a long stick and some balls)

Mini-golf works when it's NOT cold.

How about paintball?

Or a Dave-n-Buster's? Play some House of the Dead or one of those other team shoot-em-ups.

Maybe take her to see a local band?

Just throwing out ideas. What do YOU want to do that you think SHE might enjoy?

Julius_Seizeher said:

Spring, Summer, or Fall, my favorite date is skydiving. As it's a bit pricey, it's more than you'd want to spend on someone with little potential, but skydiving is awesome and I have always played it as "It's a surprise - I'll pick you up saturday afternoon and don't wear any loose-fitting clothing." You just have to ascertain how she would take it so you don't waste $180; qualify her level of adventuresome-ness.

Winter - Iceskating is tons of fun. I haven't had an iceskating date in a long time, but we'll see what this winter brings.

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wow sounds like tons of fun, but I live in Indiana, fun stuff like that may not even exist within 100-miles of radius..

squirrels said:

I've always liked pool...if she's not that good at it, you can easily stand close to her and show her "how to hold the stick". (there's a ton of double entendres in a game involving a long stick and some balls)

Mini-golf works when it's NOT cold.

How about paintball?

Or a Dave-n-Buster's? Play some House of the Dead or one of those other team shoot-em-ups.

Maybe take her to see a local band?

Just throwing out ideas. What do YOU want to do that you think SHE might enjoy?

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Too bad, I don't know how to "pool" :/

It's reaaally cold these days, so mini-golf may not work either.

She likes classical music, plays the violin, she's a little shy but I SAW that she can get really physical IF there's a chance to do so ... We danced very closely the other day at a hookah-bar and she was really playful and physical.

But she won't initiate anything or if I try to escalate I am afraid it might be a little awkward if the setting's not right...

I love paintball (and admit that even though I have never done it) but we need to be a team for that right?.. In fact I can invite others and fun would be multiplied and the whole thing could be less stressful on my part and I could focus on the FUN

Let me explore this idea...

What else is there?... Local band sounds fun, too but maybe a little too static?.. I don't know. I am a little shy myself so I don't want to spend all night standing and making awkward small talk..

Maybe a soccer match involving others as well?..This "team" date idea seems very attractive squirrels...!!

Unfortunately now that I think of it... and now that I spoke with a few cool "friends"... I see that they would make it even more difficult for me in the case of a group activity.

I am surrounded by envious AFC's who complain I am hitting on "all hot the girls" in a very "short" amount of time, and I am not leaving space for them, yada yada

I need to come up with a fun, adventurous, one-on-one date that doesn't come off very aggressive..


What else is there??

OK here's what I think.

I am going out to take photographs of a nearby park for an album I am preparing and I'll ask her to join me and be my assistant?...

That's something I'd LOVE to do anyways; and with her it'll be all the more fun

Boilermaker said:

OK here's what I think.

I am going out to take photographs of a nearby park for an album I am preparing and I'll ask her to join me and be my assistant?...

That's something I'd LOVE to do anyways; and with her it'll be all the more fun

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Sure...if she's artsy she might be down with that. And since it's something you'd be doing anyway...why not? Then go grab coffee or a drink afterward.

I just realized how boring life really is.

We sleep. We eat. We sit on chairs all day, we drive and we repeat.

What the fvck do people do for fun besides tailgating and drinking these days?

Boilermaker said:

I just realized how boring life really is.

We sleep. We eat. We sit on chairs all day, we drive and we repeat.

What the fvck do people do for fun besides tailgating and drinking these days?

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Farmville and Facebook.

It's sad indeed.

Boilermaker said:

wow sounds like tons of fun, but I live in Indiana, fun stuff like that may not even exist within 100-miles of radius..

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I'm in rural Ohio and I know that deal. Skydiving or iceskating is usually within an hour from my place, as the crow flies, it's not like I do it every day

What part of Indiana? I've got a buddy up on Lake Webster, lost his leg in the war but still have a blast up there

If you're close to Louisville/Eastern Kentucky, man that's track country down there. It's not exactly the workaday saturday night for a new girl but for a good one a weekend in Louisville is a treat, and during race season you have to hit Keeneland or Lexington

If nothing else you could take her skiing in a couple weeks

Boilermaker said:

I just realized how boring life really is.

We sleep. We eat. We sit on chairs all day, we drive and we repeat.

What the fvck do people do for fun besides tailgating and drinking these days?

Click to expand...

Life is as boring as you make it out to me.
Sorry, but never for ONCE have I thought... Oh snap, my life is boring.

If that's your daily routine, that's your fault and no one else's.
If that's all you do on a daily basis, I can see why you are having trouble getting ideas for a first date.

I suggest, before you start asking women out, you start working on yourself. If you can't even get an idea for some sort of action date, then there's something REALLY lacking in the "You" department.

So... for the second date, do you ask us again?

And that's what bothers me ultimately. Anyone having trouble coming up with a way to approach a certain situation is really admitting a lack of experience within their own realm.

Boilermaker, this is not a personal attack, but if you don't know how to play pool... I think it's time to start learning. Learn how to do MANY things. I don't think I've ever fallen flat on my face trying to come up with a "date idea" because on my time alone, I do a great many things. Very rare to find a dating man who didn't know how to at least hold the pool stick. I don't bowl 300's, but that doesn't stop me from hitting the lanes with a plate. Dave & Busters, I got my ass kicked by a girl in the basketball game and I used to play on my college basketball team.

If life is boring for you, it's time to get out there and experience it.

I've had some similar delimas recently about date ideas. However I've found a few interesting things in my area. YMMV. Every Venue will have pros and cons. so depends on the atmosphere you want to create.

Request Bars (usually have pianos, drums etc)
Ice Skating
Improve comedy Groups
Art Exhibitions
Hockey Game (even Minor leagues)
Coffee + Walk in park
Pool Halls

Sunday I'm taking a date to a request bar that is for a fundraiser for the holidays. The Price of admission is 1 Toy for a Kid. Going to take her to Toys R Us, and treat her like a little girl while choosing gifts that we'll use as our admission. I think that will be more fun than the bar. Hollidays have a lot of stuff like this going on, and you can make it pretty fun I think.

I'm in the mindset that 1st date should be moderately cheap on any chick you have little to no rapport with. No one has anything invested on either side emotionally, so why should we jump in that soon with our wallets.

Dancing

Boilermaker said:

We danced very closely the other day at a hookah-bar and she was really playful and physical.

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Didn't you just hit on it here? Take her dancing. You already know she likes it, will dance close to you, and it's cheap. I go salsa dancing myself and it's a perfect environment.

Good luck.

Taking girls to comedy clubs & stage plays always work for me. Check your city's monthly events calendar or website.

davewe said:

Didn't you just hit on it here? Take her dancing. You already know she likes it, will dance close to you, and it's cheap. I go salsa dancing myself and it's a perfect environment.

Good luck.

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"Dancing is foreplay to women."

Believe, brother.

jophil28 said:

"Dancing is foreplay to women."

Believe, brother.

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OK Joppers,

I'll do some Salsa training this year, then come visit yee for a holiday on GoldCoast late 2011 or early 2012 and you can invite me to a few of your classes :woo:

Boilermaker said:

I just realized how boring life really is.

We sleep. We eat. We sit on chairs all day, we drive and we repeat.

What the fvck do people do for fun besides tailgating and drinking these days?

Click to expand...

No man, life isn't boring. Just three days ago I was cruising through a dried basin in Nevada 100-miles across and it was covered in sage brush. And today I was in a hot spring in Colorado...look life is precious and fragile more than boring...it is our schedules and daily routines that take the mystery and newness out of life...our comforts give us predictability...allow us to focus on other things [like software development]...but I think life is inherently not boring...

I like the park idea. How about recording music together? Have a laptop? Cooking a meal? Taking a local hike or adventurous cruise? Any lakes near you? I like nature stuff...I'm biased...anything interesting she'll enjoy I'm sure...

if anything she's probably just looking forwards to spending time with you...as long as you don't get too cliche you'll probably be fine...kino kino kino [not knowing this until now has destroyed me]...kino it up!