Single mothers. Listen and learn.

I'm gonna tell you straight up and you other guys better listen. I married a single mom. Was with her for 25 yrs before I kicked her out and divorced her. What they say on here is true. Her kids always came first and I came second despite the fact that I stepped up and took care of them. I gave them a good home, it cost me financially and I really paid my dues. I received little in return. All I was in the end was a paycheck. It was the biggest AFC thing I had ever done. It took the best years of my life from me and I can never get that back.

So, for you guys that get the ol oneitis for a single mom, don't fvckin go there. You will pay dearly brothers. Too much damage and baggage that you don't need. I cannot emphasize this enough. Take this advice to heart and let it sink in deeply. Don't get emotionally involved with single mothers. Because in the end when it's over, something will be missing....your soul.

I posted the above on another thread, and thought it worthy of it's own. Take it from someone who has been there.

5string said:

I married a single mom.

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So how did that work out for you?

Was with her for 25 yrs before I kicked her out and divorced her.

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I see.

It was the biggest AFC thing I had ever done.

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I agree.

It took the best years of my life from me and I can never get that back.

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Still agreeing.

You will pay dearly brothers.

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You are preaching to the choir.

Don't get emotionally involved with single mothers.

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Key words: Emotionally involved.

Because in the end when it's over, something will be missing....your soul.

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Yeah, I hear I might be needing that, you know, after I die or something...thanks for the advice.

5string said:

I'm gonna tell you straight up and you other guys better listen. I married a single mom. Was with her for 25 yrs before I kicked her out and divorced her. What they say on here is true. Her kids always came first and I came second despite the fact that I stepped up and took care of them. I gave them a good home, it cost me financially and I really paid my dues. I received little in return. All I was in the end was a paycheck. It was the biggest AFC thing I had ever done. It took the best years of my life from me and I can never get that back.

So, for you guys that get the ol oneitis for a single mom, don't fvckin go there. You will pay dearly brothers. Too much damage and baggage that you don't need. I cannot emphasize this enough. Take this advice to heart and let it sink in deeply. Don't get emotionally involved with single mothers. Because in the end when it's over, something will be missing....your soul.

I posted the above on another thread, and thought it worthy of it's own. Take it from someone who has been there.

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Thank you sir. Only way we'll learn is by seeing dudes like you getting screwed over.

No offense intended.

You're not even second after her kids! More like sixth or seventh, after her ex, her parents, her job (if any), and so on.

I reconnected with a long-lost gal pal a few years ago... she was twenty five, hot, crazy, and I never stopped thinking about her. When we met back up, she was forty, with three kids from two other men, one ex was in prison... for spousal abuse and violating his restraining order. Guess who she picked over me?
Yup, and now he's back in prison, again; plus, her kids were taken away to foster care. She gets to see them once a month.

bluenorther said:

You're not even second after her kids! More like sixth or seventh, after her ex, her parents, her job (if any), and so on.

I reconnected with a long-lost gal pal a few years ago... she was twenty five, hot, crazy, and I never stopped thinking about her. When we met back up, she was forty, with three kids from two other men, one ex was in prison... for spousal abuse and violating his restraining order. Guess who she picked over me?
Yup, and now he's back in prison, again; plus, her kids were taken away to foster care. She gets to see them once a month.

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Sorry to hear that.

We all make mistakes in life, myself included. This one cost me dearly. Just don't want to see this happen to anyone else here.

Never worked for me either...

+1 rep

http://sjones84.blogspot.com/2010/10/so-you-wanna-date-single-mommy-read.html

String I quoted you in my latest blog, This topic has been long over due. I met a single mother a couple months ago, she kept bringing her baggage issues (her baby daddy not taking care of the kid) needless to say, she didn't wanna have sex right away and wanted me to jump through all these hoops and even emasculated me, after that I had enough and jumped ship

If you don't have kids single mothers are just good for the "**** and chuck"

sorry to be so cynical but it's true, either 1. they want you to be the provider. 2. They are sluts who still want their cake and eat it too.

don't pay for another mans mistake

Solomon said:

+1 rep

http://sjones84.blogspot.com/2010/10/so-you-wanna-date-single-mommy-read.html

String I quoted you in my latest blog, This topic has been long over due. I met a single mother a couple months ago, she kept bringing her baggage issues (her baby daddy not taking care of the kid) needless to say, she didn't wanna have sex right away and wanted me to jump through all these hoops and even emasculated me, after that I had enough and jumped ship

If you don't have kids single mothers are just good for the "**** and chuck"

sorry to be so cynical but it's true, either 1. they want you to be the provider. 2. They are sluts who still want their cake and eat it too.

don't pay for another mans mistake

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Thanks solomon. I read your blog and it was awesome. Kudos. :yes:

Solomon and 5string thank you guys this stuff is great advice needed it 2 weeks ago but at least it's over and I got to tap it before the end.

The topic routinely pops up in the forums. This morning I PMed an old thread from 2006 that was posted in the Don Juan Discussion forum with the 13 reasons you shouldn't date single mothers.

Like I told LayercakeBryan in PM: There are exceptions to the single mother rule but that only proves the rule.

Single mothers are FB's and FB's only if the kids are still present in their lives.
But remember, even if their kids are all grown up and moved on out, they will most likely take priority over you in the long run.

So why have all of this added stress? Why not just date someone single?

In this day and age, even men in their 30's and 40's can't say: Well, there are hardly any left at my age that don't have kids. I've met plenty of women that don't. I've dated a lot in the last year that didn't. Times have changed and a lot of women hit 30 without having had a child.

We should never adopt the angle of "slim pickings" in order to validate going out with a single mother. It's easier to just avoid. If some of you think that dating a single female with no kids is hard enough, imagine embarking in an LTR with one that has one or two kids from another man.

In the last year or two, I've met and gone out with two but as an FB they have stayed for no more than a month's time before I moved on. It's just not worth it. They are good temporary company but I am not paying for past mistakes. Me? I really can't stand children and soon enough I'd get the: I can't go out tonight because I have no sitter, but would you like to come over?

I knew what that entailed and it meant meeting the kid(s) and that's how I knew it was time to bail.

Yes, there are cases where maybe they are single because their ex is deceased or some other unforeseen circumstance, but even then, would you want to compete with their children, jobs, and anything other thing that would naturally make the situation any more difficult.

ive never dated a single mother but the thought had crossed my mind.

well time to add to this thread.

A few years ago at my old work, there were these two HB 7's talking about their kids and dating (both single moms) in the lunch room.

It so happens that I joined them for lunch and listened to waht they had to say.

Alot of blah blah blah but what stuck in my head during the convo is that one of the HB's said, "I just want these guys to come in and get out as fast as possible"

I thought to myself, "wouldnt you want something longer lasting then a quick wham, bam thank you ma'am?"

but its tru, their number 1's are the kid. no. 2 is the baby daddy then family/friends/whatever.

wise words here. I was with a single mother, i saved her from living in a real dump, we got a house together near a beautiful affluent city, her kids in a good school, and better car(s). I gave up the majority of my pursuits and seeing my friends regularly.

What did i get in return? Being second to the kids, her friends, even her internet usage - sex life became non existent - i escaped eventually, but what a let down..

Nothing beats the connection a woman will have with you when you have children TOGETHER. Something happens to her soul. Of course, she can still divorce and take away your kids, but it is much healthier to meet a woman and have kids with her TOGETHER.

How about no kids at all.

stop saving hoes

I look at it like this, the situation is unfortunate for them but just because they made mistakes doesnt mean i have to account of work with them. I wish em good luck, and advise they meet single dads.

Someone Much cooler said:

I wish em good luck, and advise they meet single dads.

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Hilarious thing is, a lot of them are stuck on the "my kid is #1 in my life" wagon and that not only poisons the relationship, it screws up the kid. No normal person feels this way UNLESS they've lost a mate, at which time they focus on what they have left.

They need to get out of that mindset or they're worthless to any man and to their kid(s). No kid can grow up normal with his parent(s) treating him like a little prince. It's just not right or normal or healthy.

I've told this to every single mom who's ever been in danger of getting in my life, and it kicks most of them right out. The ones that have agreed with my world view were actually pretty decent people.

Thanks for the heads up, but I think most people on this forum (at least I would hope) wouldn't fall for this trap.

You're actually a living example of one of the reasons this forum was created in the first place.

bigjohnson said:

Hilarious thing is, a lot of them are stuck on the "my kid is #1 in my life" wagon and that not only poisons the relationship, it screws up the kid. No normal person feels this way UNLESS they've lost a mate, at which time they focus on what they have left.

They need to get out of that mindset or they're worthless to any man and to their kid(s). No kid can grow up normal with his parent(s) treating him like a little prince. It's just not right or normal or healthy.

I've told this to every single mom who's ever been in danger of getting in my life, and it kicks most of them right out. The ones that have agreed with my world view were actually pretty decent people.

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yet another EXCUSE to treat YOU like sh** for NO REASON