Why is it so ****ing impossible to lose my virginity?

Scion · Oct 27, 2010

I'm starting to doubt this stuff will ever work out for me. So let's talk about what I do. I usually go out twice a week to clubs, or the occasional party. I open between 5-7 sets a night minimum. Have been keeping up that pace for the last 2-3 months (occasionally I miss a night out when stuff out of my control happens). At the beginning all the sets I opened went bad, but a couple of weeks in I noticed that changing. Started getting better convos (most of them go nowhere though), started getting numbers (maybe 1 a night), started getting make-outs (I always kiss the girls I get numbers from). But in that time I've had 1 date, and that was 2 months ago.

****, even this wknd when I had an excellent wknd (I was approached by 3-4 girls a night, something that's never happened to me before) I still didn't find one girl interested in pushing it further than a random make-out in a club. Even the girl that approached me and was making out with in 5 mins is a no go. God, I was able to move this chick around the club, dancing, extended makeouts. Got her number but every time I've contacting her she's not answered.

I don't get how guys get laid. I see tons of guys getting laid doing exactly what I'm doing. Yet I can't ever get laid. I'm really starting to think of this **** as a waste of time and a lie. Thought that maybe if I practiced this **** I'd have sex at least once. But so far I've gotten nowhere near it and I'm getting discouraged.

WaRpEd · Oct 27, 2010

Loosen Up

Discouragement does not equal confidence

You care to much about succeeding or failing you must completely let go of this concept. COMPLETELY.

You are out to have a good time, not to stress yourself out over your own virginity or watch other guys getting laid or even to test the effectiveness of your "tactics". You are out to have a night like no other, live like tomorrow YOU ARE GOING TO DIE (you never know what tomorrow holds).

So tonight, tomorrow night, or whenever don't go out with the soul purpose of loosing your virginity or whatever, go out to have the time of your life. HAVE FUN, regardless of what happens.

Scion · Oct 27, 2010

I don't go out with the purpose of getting laid. I go out to have fun and interact with ppl (for both practice and fun). Still doesn't mean I don't want to lose my virginity (in my early-mid twenties) or that I don't notice other guys getting laid (mostly my friends). ****, I've never even had a 2nd date before. And honestly that bothers me since I don't see anything wrong with me (makes me think that want I believe about myself is wrong). Try putting yourself in my shoes before you answer, maybe it'll give you a bit of insight.

Thundernuts · Oct 27, 2010

Look dude, you are doing fine if you are a virgin though there is obviously something lacking so don't compare yourself to these so called"successful" guys that will only discourage you from trying. Think og it this way, for someone in your position your doing a hell of a lot better than other people because not only are you getting out there and trying but because you are actually getting make out sessions with chicks you don't know, thats a good start.

Your going in the right direction, do some searching through the forums youll probably find something on this website that can at the least give you a better idea of what you need to improve on. Just don't get discouraged man,

Myrrdin · Oct 27, 2010

All of the above. Don't make it your life's mission to lose your virginity. It will eventually happen. Been there done that. Once I started loosing up and not caring and just let everything flow by itself it happened. You just take care of yourself, take care of living the life you want and women and sex will come to you.

Kudos for getting out and making out with chicks. Give it time and patience, play everything cool and just don't give a ****.

joe henny · Oct 27, 2010

the older you get the creepier a virgin you are get a prostitute and get that sh1t handled

ken chang · Oct 27, 2010

joe henny said:
the older you get the creepier a virgin you are get a prostitute and get that sh1t handled

seconded

Scion · Oct 27, 2010

joe henny said:
the older you get the creepier a virgin you are get a prostitute and get that sh1t handled

I'm not getting a hooker. That wouldn't help me at all. It's not like girls aren't wanting to have anything to do with me because I'm a virgin, since no one knows (ie I lie about my sex life).

joe henny · Oct 27, 2010

Scion said:
I'm not getting a hooker. That wouldn't help me at all. It's not like girls aren't wanting to have anything to do with me because I'm a virgin, since no one knows (ie I lie about my sex life).

How old are you bro?

mustfirstregister · Oct 27, 2010

I've been to night clubs for 15 years. Never got laid.

women haze · Oct 27, 2010

Just go to a place like Erols.com which has some dime piece hookers and get it out of the way man.

it will get you towards knowing how it feels and also you won't have to lie anymore

☜╬☞ · Oct 27, 2010

When you're sucking each other's face, it is your duty to escalate. Get them aroused. Rub their crotch or something. It works for me.

You're never gonna see or hear from them again, anyway.

P.S. Alcohol is your best friend.

Scion · Oct 27, 2010

joe henny said:
How old are you bro?

early-mid twenties. Said that above.

And no, I'm not getting a hooker. Look at guys like Maxtro. He has gotten hookers before, and did it help him? NO. So why would it help me?

Cry For Love · Oct 27, 2010

get money, get paid. get expensive car, clothes, girls will be all over u dont worry bout that bro

sodbuster · Oct 27, 2010

like riding a bike, once you get it, it doesn't seem that hard.Until then ,seems impossible.

thegator39 · Oct 27, 2010

Use online dating and lower your standards. You aren't marrying her anyway.

That's what I'm doing and I'm in your situation. Up until a month ago, I wasn't willing to have sex with anything I considered less than a 7/8...now I'll gladly do a 5 or 6 as long as she knows it's a one time thing.

loveshogun · Oct 27, 2010

Scion said:
I don't go out with the purpose of getting laid.

Yes you do.

Shoot, sometimes even I still do.

Tyler Durden (from Fight Club, not from RSD) said it best:

Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

It's a long process. Improve yourself. Don't pretend to be the guy who gets laid - become the guy who gets laid.

And one of the first things you will realize about most guys who get laid a lot, is that getting laid is usually one of their lower priorities.

Keep at it. You'll get there.

**Edit**
If you need specific advice, read more than just approach journals. It's all here, no need for us to lay it all out again.

randalll · Oct 27, 2010

No one should listen to that rubbish about getting rich and buying stuff to get laid. Nothing will set you back more and anyone who recommends it is having a mid-life crisis. That said, it sounds like you're on the right track and have made good progress. I'm in my early twenties as well and have only been with 3 women, 2 of them being ONS. They only happened once I realized I didn't care if I hit 20 without ever being with a girl.

I think there's a part of you that's subconsciously freaking out about it and making something which isn't all that important, into this huge thing.

That's where I was going wrong anyway..

Scion · Oct 27, 2010

randalll said:
That said, it sounds like you're on the right track and have made good progress. I'm in my early twenties as well and have only been with 3 women, 2 of them being ONS. They only happened once I realized I didn't care if I hit 20 without ever being with a girl.

haha, maybe I've made some progress but I figured that once I started getting better at cold approaching then I'd start having girls that wanted to actually chill with me. So far that hasn't been the case.

Oh, and to the guys who have suggested online dating, I've tried it. In my experience the only girls that are online are whales and attention *****s. During the time I've tried it I've never gotten a single response to a message. So I deleted my profile and have just stuck to cold approaching at clubs.

DonJuan11 · Oct 27, 2010

Scion said:
I don't go out with the purpose of getting laid. I go out to have fun and interact with ppl (for both practice and fun). Still doesn't mean I don't want to lose my virginity (in my early-mid twenties) or that I don't notice other guys getting laid (mostly my friends). ****, I've never even had a 2nd date before. And honestly that bothers me since I don't see anything wrong with me (makes me think that want I believe about myself is wrong).
Try putting yourself in my shoes before you answer, maybe it'll give you a bit of insight.

If you have never been on a second date before, you are doing something fundamentally wrong on the first date and in attracting women. In order to have success, you have to sell yourself and bring something to the table that the girl likes and is interested in. Do you have money? Are you ripped? Are you a good cook? Do you give her the best sex ever? Do you own half the city? Are you a doctor? Can you kiss her so good that she walk the next day? Or do you play Final Fantasy 4 all day?

No girl is going to give it up to you because you want to get laid. She has to GET SOMETHING IN RETURN for giving it up. It's like any business transaction. You wouldn't sell your car to a girl for nothing, so why would a girl give up her body to you for nothing? She has to GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT. What are you going to give her in return for giving it up?

When you say "There is nothing wrong with me.", there probably isn't, you probably are one the best early to mid 20 year old guys out there. But you have to SELL yourself. It doesn't matter how great you think you are, you have to get her to BITE, to BUY INTO your product. Don't just tell her "I"m great, you should have SEX with me." SHOW HER, TALK TO HER, PLAY WITH HER. LET HER FEEL IT, LET HER LIKE IT, LET HER RESPOND TO IT.

We need examples of your interactions on the first date. We can't help you without specifics.

Why is it so ****ing impossible to lose my virginity?

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