Treat 'em all the same.

amoka · Sep 19, 2010

If you ever think some women are "different" hence you can change your game on her, think again. I got burned the hard way:

Amoka had a wonderful "walk-downtown" date with this chick on Friday. Damn, IL was wayyyy out the roof. I told her I am meeting some friend at the "center of party" in my city. After the date:
HB:"Ok I'm home. Thanks 4 2nite. I had a good time . Dnt party 2 hard, try to get some sleep." Haaa, Amoka never responded.

Fast forward to saturday: amoka decided to give this girl a call.... a big mistake on my part... oh it gets even better. I setup to see her again that evening...lol... doing nothing other than "going to a movie". Please slap me in the face. The initial plan was for her to come to my place and cook but I said "no thanks. I don't know you that well..." So we set up a movie date for that evening.

Now, here is the interesting part: chick flaked on me!!! she did. We were to meet at 7:30pm, at 7pm, I received a call from her:
HB:"Hey Amoka, I just finished taking a shower but I am not feeling well, I am having some sort of a headache or somethings. I'll call you if I feel any better"...yeah, like I expected her to call.
Amoka:"Don't worry about it. Maybe we can do something later"... yeah right, like I don't know any better.

My future plan with this chick is simple: No contacting her whatsoever. If she tries contacting, I'll not respond the first three times. If I ever get in contact with her, she has to "make it up to me" one way or the other. What are your thoughts?

Scars · Sep 19, 2010

This is entirely true.

I've been in situations where I didn't follow through the plan. For some reason you think the girl is more "classy" or "just not like that". Don't ever think it for a second. Don't ever be afraid to escalate. You keep pushing forward until you can't no more. There's been a few times where I thought the girl was too "innocent" but I just kept escalating, and to my surprise, we had sex. I also learned this the hard way, and it becomes even harder to swallow once you find out that nearly right after she was sleeping with somebody else!

Just assume it's all a front. No girl is a perfect angel. Always be the dominate and sexual force.

Hopefully your damage control works, but it might be too late. She might just consider you a "pvssy". Sad but true. No contact could work, but at the same time you also need to be showing the sexual side to yourself (which is where you went wrong.) What I would do is go no contact, then randomly maybe a week later hit her up with a "hey baby" and try to be as sexual as you can. You don't even have to make plans just yet, just try and get her juices flowing. Then at the peak of the convo cut it loose. Do this a couple times and she will surely make plans with you again. Just this time, follow through with the plan. If it doesn't work out, don't beat yourself up for it too bad. We've all done this. The important thing is that you learned from it. You're one step ahead of all the other guys.

Good luck my friend.

-Scars

jophil28 · Sep 19, 2010

amoka said:
The initial plan was for her to come to my place and cook but I said "no thanks. I don't know you that well..." So we set up a movie date for that evening.

I am guessing, from the above quote, that she OFFERED to come over and cook dinner for you and you declined !!!

cordoncordon · Sep 19, 2010

amoka said:
Haaa, Amoka never responded.

The initial plan was for her to come to my place and cook but I said "no thanks. I don't know you that well..." So we set up a movie date for that evening.

From those two quotes above, it appears to me you are playing TOO hard to get and being too much of a ****. Nothing wrong with saying "thanks!" in response to her text, and "I don't know you that well"????? WTf is that? Who cares how well you know her. What is she going to do come over and rob you? You have a girl offering to come over and cook for you and you respond with that? That is seriously gay.

I honestly don't know how women date some of you guys. So odd. No wonder I always hear them complain how weird men are.

amoka · Sep 19, 2010

cordoncordon said:
From those two quotes above, it appears to me you are playing TOO hard to get and being too much of a ****. Nothing wrong with saying "thanks!" in response to her text, and "I don't know you that well"????? WTf is that? Who cares how well you know her. What is she going to do come over and rob you? You have a girl offering to come over and cook for you and you respond with that? That is seriously gay.

I honestly don't know how women date some of you guys. So odd. No wonder I always hear them complain how weird men are.

Not exactly, my friend. I asked her to cook so I can come try her food and she said she does not know me very well and that she can rather come to my place and cook. That was why I told her I don't know her either very well.

cordoncordon · Sep 19, 2010

amoka said:
Not exactly, my friend. I asked her to cook so I can come try her food and she said she does not know me very well and that she can rather come to my place and cook. That was why I told her I don't know her either very well.

The point still stays....she is offering to come over to cook, and maybe for sexing, and you turned her down lol. That is really all that matters. Who cares if she doesn't want you over to her place. Some women are hesitant to have a guy over they don't know very well to their place-I can understand that. You played tit for tat like a little girl does. I do appreciate that you are playing the game, but imo you are taking it too seriously and playing it too hard.

jophil28 · Sep 19, 2010

CC has it.

Amoka, she offered to cook for you at your place - your request that she cook at HER place was unrealistic and really overvalued your "game" and overestimated your connection with her at that point. You had been on ONE date with her. She was just getting warmed up but she was still cautious (wisely).

Her reply that she does not know you very well was perfectly reasonable.
So she came up with a good compromise- cooking for you at your place.
But apparently you wanted it all YOUR way so you dissed her by ridiculing her offer.
MY guess is that she canceled on you because she perceived you as "difficult" . Big difference between dominant and just plain difficult.

Honestly Amoka, you screwed up with this woman.

Bluntmaster · Sep 19, 2010

amoka said:
I asked her to cook so I can come try her food and she said she does not know me very well and that she can rather come to my place and cook.

You should have said "See you at 8 here's my address...."

What were you thinking man...

ThunderMaverick · Sep 21, 2010

Action date! You missed an action date! You could have gone to the store together to pick out food for dinner (building rapport)and you played it like a girl. AND you didn't call her for a week? Did you expect her to just wait by the phone, putting her life on hold and have her interest level up 100%?

She's a flake because you flaked first.

goodfoot · Sep 21, 2010

I think some people take this "be a challenge" thing too seriously.

PokerStar · Sep 22, 2010

cause of this thread i might of screwed one up this weekend.

I had a date planned to go dancing saturday

She the day of saying she wasnt feeling well but she's going to take a nap and phone me when she wakes up

a few hours later she phoned saying for me to come by her place and watch a movie (havent been to her place yet)

I rejected the offer and told her that we are gonna go dancing no matter what.

She got ready ready within the hour and went dancing and grinding all night.

dropped her off at home with a little make out session.

but now im thinking maybe i could of f-closed if i stayed in at her place and watched a movie.

hmmmmmm

Chosen1 · Sep 22, 2010

Read your story amoka truer words have never been spoken. Psychology all women respond the same. Ex wife a girl at work and a girl I'm talking to all get jealous and want attention, if I don't show them any. My other thoughts are you should have had the girl come over and cook. That would have been way funner then the movies. Also I'm no master seducer but I noticed if I play head games don't call all the time and Ignore women but show a little sexual interest that works??? Not me being nice but me being my stupid self.

P_Dawg_Jalapeno · Sep 23, 2010

amoka said:
If you ever think some women are "different" hence you can change your game on her, think again. I got burned the hard way:

Amoka had a wonderful "walk-downtown" date with this chick on Friday. Damn, IL was wayyyy out the roof. I told her I am meeting some friend at the "center of party" in my city. After the date:
HB:"Ok I'm home. Thanks 4 2nite. I had a good time . Dnt party 2 hard, try to get some sleep." Haaa, Amoka never responded.

Fast forward to saturday: amoka decided to give this girl a call.... a big mistake on my part... oh it gets even better. I setup to see her again that evening...lol... doing nothing other than "going to a movie". Please slap me in the face. The initial plan was for her to come to my place and cook but I said "no thanks. I don't know you that well..." So we set up a movie date for that evening.

Now, here is the interesting part: chick flaked on me!!! she did. We were to meet at 7:30pm, at 7pm, I received a call from her:
HB:"Hey Amoka, I just finished taking a shower but I am not feeling well, I am having some sort of a headache or somethings. I'll call you if I feel any better"...yeah, like I expected her to call.
Amoka:"Don't worry about it. Maybe we can do something later"... yeah right, like I don't know any better.

My future plan with this chick is simple: No contacting her whatsoever. If she tries contacting, I'll not respond the first three times. If I ever get in contact with her, she has to "make it up to me" one way or the other. What are your thoughts?

Seriously? What? I thought I was a retard. You're gay; a straight man juice thirsting fudge-packer!

LMAO! "no thanks I don't know you that well" ROFL!

If she contacts you, don't pick up right away, but call her back in 15 minutes. Hopefully she won't call you though as there are plenty a of horny young studs out there more than willing to eat her meal. haha "...i don't know you that well..." lol

And just think... you couldve been feeding her "dessert..." instead she's getting fed some other guy's man-pudding

Bluntmaster · Sep 23, 2010

P_Dawg_Jalapeno said:
Seriously? What? I thought I was a retard.

No you are just p/ssywhipped.

P_Dawg_Jalapeno · Sep 24, 2010

Bluntmaster said:
No you are just p/ssywhipped.

indeed i am

Nutz · Sep 24, 2010

amoka said:
If you ever think some women are "different" hence you can change your game on her, think again. I got burned the hard way:

Amoka had a wonderful "walk-downtown" date with this chick on Friday. Damn, IL was wayyyy out the roof. I told her I am meeting some friend at the "center of party" in my city. After the date:
HB:"Ok I'm home. Thanks 4 2nite. I had a good time . Dnt party 2 hard, try to get some sleep." Haaa, Amoka never responded.

Had a good thing going right there but you dropped the ball.

amoka said:
Fast forward to saturday: amoka decided to give this girl a call.... a big mistake on my part... oh it gets even better. I setup to see her again that evening...lol... doing nothing other than "going to a movie". Please slap me in the face. The initial plan was for her to come to my place and cook but I said "no thanks. I don't know you that well..." So we set up a movie date for that evening.

Now you're outright rejecting this girl by playing games. No wonder she lost interest. You're beating her over the head for trying to win you over!!!! NEVER punish a woman for investing in you.

amoka said:
Now, here is the interesting part: chick flaked on me!!! she did. We were to meet at 7:30pm, at 7pm, I received a call from her:
HB:"Hey Amoka, I just finished taking a shower but I am not feeling well, I am having some sort of a headache or somethings. I'll call you if I feel any better"...yeah, like I expected her to call.
Amoka:"Don't worry about it. Maybe we can do something later"... yeah right, like I don't know any better.

No **** sherlock, you pissed on her twice already and she didn't want any part of it and found better things to do with her time.

amoka said:
My future plan with this chick is simple: No contacting her whatsoever. If she tries contacting, I'll not respond the first three times. If I ever get in contact with her, she has to "make it up to me" one way or the other. What are your thoughts?

My thoughts are above. YOU are the one that royally screwed this one up, not her.

amoka · Sep 24, 2010

Alright, you are are right on. I am way too hard on these women and loose a lot of good opportunities with them. I'll see what I can do to change this mentality.

cordoncordon · Sep 27, 2010

amoka said:
Alright, you are are right on. I am way too hard on these women and loose a lot of good opportunities with them. I'll see what I can do to change this mentality.

Glad to hear that. You are learning. Women are not the enemy.

amoka · Sep 28, 2010

Update:
I decided to go easy so I called her yesterday and she was quit happy to hear from me. I set up a date to meet with her on Thursday and she accepted. I am/was WAY too difficult on these chicks.

doubledown11 · Oct 5, 2010

Like others have written, don't take 'being a challenge' overboard. Ignoring her for 3 calls? Use common sense. She'll move on. If she's attractive she'll go to a guy who at least shows some interest in her. (Not a lapdog, but not a ****head, either.)

Don't bring up the flake again if she wants to hang out. Don't make her feel like she owes you something. If you mention it, it's in complete jest, preferably accompanied with smiling and tickling, etc. You've got to treat her as if you have 1000 other girls after you.

Treat 'em all the same.

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