in the field

For those of you who don't know me, I'm HolyG, a senior on a huge university campus...my game isn't at all what it could be. I've had essentially zero success with women, and I'm 21.

The Greats

Snow Plowman

Jon024


I noticed a lot of approach journals springing up, and let this be the latest one. I will be updating every 2-3 days on the regular. Here we go....

9/12
I’m at work today, I work in a computer lab, assist users with any questions, it’s a huge place, sometimes holding 200 or so students.

Girl at computer

me: Hi do you need help with anything?
G: No thanks
me: I’m just bored so looking for something to do
her: hahaha

girl comes up to me... witty banter ensues

Girl: Hey can you help me with this?

Basically I was loose, relaxed and playful...had her laughing constantly and giggling, applied some kino, teased her a bit. But i didn’t close so it doesn’t matter!! This doesn’t even count as an approach, damn i need to get better at this.


9/13

I’m trying to improve but it’s hard. I see girls and I freeze, I don’t know what to open htem with. at the same time I am FORCING myself to talk to anyone, over the dumbest, most inconsequential things imaginable. I’m trying to exude a positive, and at the same time ****y and confident vibe.

I’m proud, I talked to all types of people today. Old men, girls, guys, whatever. I’m opening people and trying to forge fast connections with them. While I’m better than yesterday, I’m still not good enough to ignore these basic things.

Every time I open a new person, I feel a bit of the chode leaving. However, asking girls for their numbers in daytime remains the scariest partt.....

So last nite we hit up the bar.... I did entirely social circle game there. It was one of those sit down bars (ugh) but I thought I did a good job of bringing the party and staying rather upbeat. There were quite a few chicks in our group - more girls than guys lol...but the one I tried to flirt with was a huge AW (dancing w/ everbody, flirting around etc) and the other was a little aloof. Night ended with a little social proof, nothing else (everybody I met loved me)

I promise I'll start getting some approaches in asap.

The GOOD: I'm finally approaching...I approach two girls in two days along with a pseudo - approach on the second day as well... lemme explain.

The first girl, we'll call her HBt, I met on the bus....I was gonna ignore her and chat up the girl on my left, but she had headphones on and ignored me. I turned to HBt and started a convo w/ her...she's foreign (Singapore) and around a 7....okay looking, and really sweet personality.. I had her laughing and everything, got the number, very smooth (under pretense of working out together). Qualifying a girl is one of my weaker points but I'm starting to adjust.

2nd girl (today) was a total hottie. Let's call her HBBlondie. She was on a bench, I sat down not far from her

Me: Hey how's it going?
Her: Good (smile)
Me: I have to confess, I talked to you because I thought you were cute..
Her: Thanks (smiles again)

We started talking..she's a freshman (I'm senior) and transferring later from the school, she said... but she'll be around for a while.
Got the number, ejected. Definitely ballsy for me

The BAD: WEAK game today. I was stammering, trailing off my words, mumbling, not making strong eye contact. Standing still like a statue, not moving arms/ body or alternately leaning and looking relax. Vocal projection not varying, but in a monotone, and not loud. **** game. Also, my teasing came more off like I was straight up insulting the girl...




I also opened cutie working front desk at the gym...but convo was absolutely awful. Couldn't make her laugh or smile....and SHE was interested in me beforehand (I've seen her around) but whatever. She even asked for my name...but I ejected w/out closing the #....I wasn't probably gonna get it.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Text Game excerpt

I hit on her, grabbed her number while around campus. She gave me her #


Me: blue her: pink

____ Is sick....they are on campus rite now!!

Who is this?

Ohh noo did u get amnesia

Noooo...just don't have your number...

I knew talking to you would b nothin but trouble

Whoooo is thisssss

Well I was gonna ask u to the prom....But now Im drawing the linee

Prom!?

Duh we met in ___...HolyG


... and she didn't respond after that. What did I do wrong? I think she mite have been dumb enough to take me seriously....watever.

Also I got my first rejection....and It made me strangely proud. But does anyone have problems w/ actually forcing themselves to approach?

BUMP....I'd like to see some people's thoughts!!

I went to the bars solo last night...I'm pissed at myself, I couldn't bring myself to approach ONE GIRL!!! uhhhhgggh. Going to do it again tonight. I really hate approach anxiety.....

1. if you started up a conversation with a girl and it was going good, but you didnt get a number it DOES matter, that actually matters MORE then just a phone number. Building up your social skills and calibrating yourself to situations is #1 do that and you will have more phone number then you know what to do with.

2. what you approach with in the long run doesn't really matter, so just go with anything - stick to 1-2 operers, try out situational, if you can segway from situation openers to a conversation - then you are at a place where you can start going direct and other advanced stuff

3. stop teasing/negging/whatever until you are comfortable with talking to girls, if not its going to come out horribly miscalculated.

4. start hanging out to HANG OUT AND HAVE FUN, do NOT go out to get girls, thats the last thing that will actually land you girls, believe it or not. Build up social intelligence by going out and being around people, talking to people.

Congrats on starting your own journal. We need more journals in here and less stoopid questions from guys who don't want to improve.

I have a lot to say, but I'm at work, on my phone, so typing a long post with my thumbs wouldn't be very fun or conveinent. As soon as I ge home, I'll leave you my thoughts.

All I can say for now is keep this up man. You have an ambition to get better at this and your willing to invest the time so you will no doubt see results soon enough.

Good looks guys, I love it when people come by to offer their opinion. This process takes time but I'll keep going at it

9/25

I spend a day at the football stadium with my roommate and over a 100,000 others...lol that's how my campus does it. I make a point to be more social and open the people round me....half of them are ****faced lol. Pretty fun afternoon,
spend most of the day watching football on TV too.

At night, my friend and her social circle is out, I'm invited. I head to that bar, but they aren't there...oh well lol, I open a couple drunk AWs at the bar

me: YO what should I drink? (kino) Help me pick
them : OMG blah blah try this!!
They're clearly drunk. I open, but don't escalate...geez you can tell that they're just flirts. Still, I should run game for practice. After a while I leave

I meet my friends at the bar they're actually at. There is my friend M, her friend HBSwim (we've kissed multiple times but thats it) who is a solid 7, two new girls I don't know, and some fellas. Well I am rocking it at the table lol, having everyone laughing, social circle game is a piece of cake. As well, I get socially proofed multiple times as people I know swing by our table. Of the 2 new girls w/ us, one, let's call her HBPolo, is showing definite IOI'S.

I guess I'm a charming bastard My game is c&f, teasing, basically being obnoxious, and loving myself. It shows. They're digging it. Night ends kind of lame though, M and HBSwim, who are roomies, head back to their place. I walk them, arm in arm with both on either side of me. Make up some excuse to go upstairs. We hang out, then M goes to bathroom.

Boom.

Isolation, close HBSwim room door, throw her on bed, start making out. She's on her period, sex is no go. So I end up leaving after telling her I'll call tomorrow



9/26

A homework day. 2 events of significance. One, I see a girl from another social circle (HBKaraoke lets call her) who's a friend of a friend...we stop and chat (I was on my way to gym). She's playing with her hair like crazy (IOI) I think she has a bf-type guy, but word through the grapevine is she has a thing for black guys. Perfect, I have a thing for cute girls. I make up my mind after I leave - I'm gonna bang her.

At the gym, see a girl who works swiping cards. She smiles at me a lot. Vibe is flirty. Idk though, my game is still **** for cold approach. I make her laugh, try to vibe (but it's not that smooth), tell her she's cute, ask for number. She says "why don't you give me yours?" I'm not dumb, I know what that means, but I give it anyway. Yeah....not happening.


Takeaways

- GET LOUDER. STOP MUMBLING. GET LOUDER YOU IDIOT


Positives

-Self amusement. It's the ****

P.S. I'm jacked as hell right now

EDIT: oh yeah I forgot to add this. HBSwim basically tells me to call her, etc, smiles when I tell her i will...but when I call or txt she NEVER responds / picks up.
Eff that, she had her chance.....

HolyG said:

The Greats

Snow Plowman

Jon024

Click to expand...

Props on the Journal, we need more here

But I'm not among the greats



























Just kidding ....

I've been choding about...what bull****

Thursday nite (9/30)

Social circle nights…..I’m chode as **** on these nights, I hate them. I end up sitting at
A table of 4 girls, its pretty chill and I’m the life of the group, making everyone laugh. Only 1 of these girls, (A) who is a good friend of mine, is the one I came to see. However theres a unmistakable friend vibe running through the group. Which I hate. Still I try to be positive, and get the girls attracted, however 2 have boyfriends, and the last is cute, but not interested…whatever.

My problem on nights im at the bars with friends: I want to approach, but if we’re sitting at a table, I feel weird leaving the table to approach girls.


Last nite (10/1)

Night starts at like 12:30, I’m doing crap till then…I’m riding solo this night and it was ultimately more fun than the last night. I go to a different bar, but this bar is sort of the opposite of last nights – everyone there knows each other. Still, I go for the approaches telling myself , one step at a time. I open one girl about what to drink, it fizzles out immediately. Try opening another, she starts ignoring me and texting away on her blackberry. ****!

The rage starts growing, I go to campus’s most popular dance club/ bar. It. Is. Popping. I flirt with a girl on the stairs for a bit, go up the bar inside, smile at a chick, approach. We talk about what he’s drinking, I self amuse and tell her to watch me, get a beer, make a huge multicolored straw and start drinking. . . she **** tests me hard, saying only pussies use straws. I stay unreactive and say guess I am one then, and keep drinking (gayyyyy…I should have thought of a better comeback). Still, she laughs and touches me on the shoulder, saying she was messing around. (test passed? idk) the set abruptly ends when her boyfriend comes and hugs her from behind.

Next set, I open a chubby, she ignores me at first, then sees her friend and shrieks, runs to her . *****

Next Im at the bar again, when I get a free fishbowl (big bowl drink for multiple people) drink from someone who doesn’t want it. I see a couple guys offer it to them..we end up becoming friends instead lol. I actually recognize one and tell him so (from an old job). The 4 girls they’re with run up to greet them, I offer them the bowl instead, they scream and jump on it….then intro themselves to me afterwards.

They are all pretty cute, and like me, but they are also massive AWs…no denying it lol. We get to flirting, but they want me to buy them shots, and …yeah I don’t roll like that (I even tell them straight up “what do I get out of it”?) lol. The dynamic slowly fizzles out after that. Dang I should have escalated.

- Takeaways?
Should I buy a girl drinks? I don’t want to be tooled. Idk though, on the other hand it does seem like you have to buy a girl drinks to get anywhere with her.


- I keep getting ignored / backturns in bars, anyone encounter this! Should I go in more high energy?

I’ve been slacking on daygame…I promise there will be some in my next post.

Solomon said:

Props on the Journal, we need more here

But I'm not among the greats

Just kidding ....

Click to expand...

LOL lemme check out your journal, i haven't seen it

Thurs nite 10/7

what a chaotic nite

- Bar night #1

Nite starts as some chode social circle BS. We're hanging out w/ a few friends, a girl I'm trying to bang comes through...I slowly game her, but nothing really hooks
The highlight of the night is running into an old friend of mine, call him D. Tall white guy, blue eyes, decent looking. He's pretty chill...we eventually
leave the bar.
The girl I'm trying to game...who I realize at this point is useless ends up ****blocking D. Lesson learned, I've decided to stop texting and talking to her.


-Walking round

we spend some time deciding that we want to smoke, but it ends up not working out and we don't. Instead we end up going to a different bar to do some pickup for real..
here's were the nite gets interesting



-set 1, best of nite

I open two girls who, out the corner of my eye, i notice smiling down the bar (they immediately move close by). I'm not dumb....I open one playfulling joking
about her ring, she's cute, I joke about Captain planet and the planeteer rings (self amusing ****, it works the best). Shes laughing and having a good time.
D also talks to her (he's taller than her, I'm shorter) and she takes a liking to him...this is bull****, it always happens. I open, the chick ends up liking
my friend instead. The girl eventually leaves with her friends

- set 2 ignore


I open another girl, talking about her dress or whatever, It doesn't hook at all. She turns back to her friends.
This scenario proceeds to happen



-set 3, girl responds / leaves

again

-dance floor, set 4 ignore

and again

- dance floor
and again.

Aside from set 1 girl returning and dancing w/ D, nothing happens. Even worse, I was choding around for large parts of the nite.
What is this BS? why can i not get laid...EVER. I mean, its pretty damn depressing when your friend, who can't even open, is telling you about times he
got laid in bar bathrooms this summer off looks alone. I proceed to get hammered and vent...all my insecurities and depressing secrets come flowing out.
I think I was talking about getting a hooker at one point.....awful, awful ending to the night.

What am I doing wrong? Situational openers are CLEARLY not working...every girl I open quickly turns back to her friends and whispers in their ears, i imagine
"who was that" "i dunno, some loser"


Lessons:
Go in like the goddamn kool-aid man
Have a mindset of something like: Tonights gonna be a CRAZY ADVENTURE!!!

bump. I'm back.