Is <so-and-so> a DJ?

I've seen these posted over and over again on this forum. I think we get one at least twice a month

Is Eminem a DJ?
Is Tony Hawk a DJ?
Is James Bond a DJ?
Was Einstein a DJ?
etc, etc, etc

Rather than respond to each individual post I'd like to make a simple, yet powerful point.

A DJ defines himself.

So many of us are looking for role models. Many of us don't have fathers, or the ones that we have are pussified chumps under the tyranny of women who are "liberated" (from their own nature, sadly). Whatever the case may be, it's inevitable that we fill this vacuum with whatever examples we can find, be it celebrities or fictional characters.

There is nothing inherently wrong with that either. Steve McQueen and Sean Connery were definitely icons of masculinity for me. Just watching them influenced me a great deal, which is fortunate considering my Dad is the biggest chump I ever met. (He practically asks my mom's permission to pee )

What really is worrisome about these questions tho, is the fact that the OP clearly suffers from one of the worst symptoms of chumphood - not having an opinion of his own. The fact that you don't even know who to model, and need validation on your choices says a lot about how much work needs to be done on your manhood.

The answer to these repetitive posts, as always, is "it depends". In order to truly answer it we must first ask another question:

What is a DJ?

That in and of itself has been the subject of much controversy. Some folks feel that it is a direct correlation of the legend of Don Juan, meaning that in order to be a DJ you must be promiscuous and maybe a little deceitful if it means easy access to the poon. This forum has splintered that idea into several schools of thought - some sticking to the letter of Don Juan, and others claiming that DJism is only partly based on seduction and really focuses on self-improvement, manhood and "being the prize".

All of these viewpoints are valid when you realize that they fit within the concept of "success with women"

Which is why this argument never gets resolved. Everyone's idea of success is highly subjective. It's about as constructive as the 20-page threads of bickering entitled "Now HERE is an HB10!"

Success is different for everyone.

If you relish the idea of banging young hotties well into your 50's, then someone like George Clooney is a DJ to you. If want to build a personal empire and fancy the thought of marriage, then someone like Tony Robbins might fill that role better. There is no final word on who a DJ is!

Besides, the real issue here is not whether <so-and-so> is a DJ or not. It's how YOU define success with women. Whether it's notches on your bed posts or a strong magnetism built by an interesting life is irrelevant. Instead of asking who a DJ might be, you should be asking yourself a simple question most people never really ask for themselves

"What do I want?"

When you are capable of providing an honest answer, THEN you can look for role models who exemplify that ideal you strive for.

Thing is most people are too scared to face the question. It means being challenged and taking responsibility for where your life is going. It means standing on your own two feet and making your own choices as an adult, and more importantly as a MAN. It means not focusing so much on what other's think of your choices, but knowing exactly what you need to be happy - and focusing all of your energy on that.

I'm sure we will see many more of these posts in the future. It's a symptom of a generation of weak-willed, impulse-fueled sissy-boys who lack discipline or vision (hey, for a while that was me too). My hope is that anyone who falls into this category will find this post and ask himself the right questions.

Only by facing who we are, and what we desire can we ever achieve anything.

The problem with most guys is that they come in here and form a mental picture of what a DJ is - and then start believing that that's what they must become. They become similar to religious fanatics.

This is the way, this is how it shall be done!

They think they have found the truth, but they are similar to everyone else who's bound by the media, friends, parents and girlfriends. They still value opinions spouted by others as of greater value than their own. They are told all women are beautiful princesses who have unicorns as pets and they believe it; they are told all women are wicked beings whose sole purpose is to walk all over them and they change their opinion.

Razor Sharp is right. You have to stand on your own two feet and decide what YOU want, what is BETTER for you. You don't go and become the prize because someone on an internet forum said it so. You do it because it's better for you. You learn from others, and you put knowledge to the test. You don't blindly accept what people tell you.

Until you learn to think, to really think, you will be as a tiny little boat thrown around by the waves of life, prey to the winds and whatever direction they command you to go. How can you tell right from wrong, good advice from bad advice, if you take whatever come as the Holy Grail? And even if something is true, it might not work for you.

Dare to make your own choices, form your own opinions and come to terms with what you truly want for yourself. Dare to be wrong, to make mistakes. You'll learn and you'll grow. And, at the end of the day, you might become someone who doesn't walk on his toes through life.

Glad I could pull you out of lurk mode there Mr. Strange.

+1 rep for that reply

Razor Sharp said:

Glad I could pull you out of lurk mode there Mr. Strange.

+1 rep for that reply

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And I lurked in here for around 4/5 years! Learned a few things, back in the day, and am now coming back (this time around more actively) to learn some more.

Mr. Strange said:

And I lurked in here for around 4/5 years! Learned a few things, back in the day, and am now coming back (this time around more actively) to learn some more.

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After 4/5 years there is nothing more to be learned from theory.
I feel sorry because here are hundreds of guys that lurk and hover for years around forums and books trying to learn everything, so they can make a perfect approach that is one shot, one kill and live happily afterward, which doesn't happen.

Than there are guys that for 6 months of practicing intensively on the field become fvcking MASTERS.

Daddy The Pimp said:

After 4/5 years there is nothing more to be learned from theory.
I feel sorry because here are hundreds of guys that lurk and hover for years around forums and books trying to learn everything, so they can make a perfect approach that is one shot, one kill and live happily afterward, which doesn't happen.

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There is ALWAYS something to be learned. The moment someone dares call himself a master is the moment their growth will come to an alt. But I'm not talking about plain pick-up, seduction or whatever. Attraction is pretty simple, actually. What I am talking about here is the business of life. Living is an art in itself; and there's always room to grow better at it.

And make no mistake: how you conduct your life is the core of genuine attraction. Random hookups, dating the hot girl? For a while (and most of us have gone through that phase) it was the definition of true success and masculinity. Albeit it might certainly be a good and fun thing, it's not our ultimate purpose. Life is so grand and majestic, and there's so much to see, learn and experience that limiting our destiny to finding our "one true love" is rather foolish.

Back in the day, I went through what I had to go through and learnt what I had to learn - and I got what I wanted. Now my inner compass has changed.

I feel sorry because here are hundreds of guys that lurk and hover for years around forums and books trying to learn everything, so they can make a perfect approach that is one shot, one kill and live happily afterward, which doesn't happen.

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Can't agree enough with you in here. I'd even say there's no such thing as a perfect approach, a perfect relationship or a perfect girl. In imperfection resides true beauty.

I think what Daddy was sayin is that there is a cap limit on what can be learned in the realm of theory. On that level I can only agree with him. It's definitely fun to pick apart your game with your bros, but that assumes you are out there actually, you know, GAMING.

It's so easy to read and have those "aha" moments - the rush of enlightenment can be addicting and detrimental to your game if that's all you use for gratification.

The truth is that understanding something with your mind can't hold a candle to BODILY knowledge. When you are out there moving, shaking and mingling for just ONE night, that will teach you far more than reading 1,000 posts - and in ways that are not easy to verbalize or digest into threads of your own.

90% of game aint even logical, its pure instinct that comes from experience. Things like social/emotional intelligence, reading body language are damn near impossible to teach with words. Only by action and example in the real world will we achieve tangible results.

Everything else just becomes mental masturbation once you achieve a threshold of understanding. I mean sure, you could become a scholar on basketball strategies, but that doesn't necessarily make you a good player.