Contrary to popular belief, not all women are villains who abuse guys for their own amusement. They are just emotional and erratic beings who let their hearts control their decisions and don’t always know what they want. They say they want a charming and classy guy who will treat them like a princess, yet they spend days obsessing over repulsive losers who treat them badly. One day they’re calling you every other hour and telling you how special you are, the next day they act like you don’t exist. It’s nothing personal - it’s just their nature.
Unfortunately for us men, this is hard to understand. We see things in more logical terms: you like someone or you don’t. Black or white. Even more unfortunate is that decent guys get hurt by the indecisiveness of women. When a woman turns cold, many of us look for a logical cause and end up making the situation worse for ourselves by treating it as a problem that needs to be fixed…because that is our nature.
You must stop expecting women to behave rationally or “fairly” and just prepare for the day they stop returning your calls. The best way to do this, in my experience, is to keep your options open.
Take a look at all the successful players and seducers. Do you think they pin all their hopes on one woman and sit at home waiting for her to call? Of course not. Even if there is one special lady they are pursuing, they always have a contingency plan. That is the key to their success.
The Player Mentality
Just like we do, a woman will get confused when a guy is attentive one minute and distant the next. She will feel on edge when a guy forgets to call, takes his time replying to her texts or when he’s too busy to see her. She will get frustrated when he ignores her games and walks away from her tantrums. A beautiful woman will find it perplexing if a guy can be cool and carefree around her while other guys put her on a pedestal and kiss her a$$. Women find such men unpredictable, mysterious and challenging, and these are the building blocks of attraction.
Of course, you can try to fake this behaviour, hold back your desperation, pretend to be cool and act indifferent, but such a façade is based on rehearsed lines and tricks, and most people can see right through it. It is much better if it happens naturally.
One way to develop this behaviour in an authentic way is to adopt the player mentality. Keep talking to women, flirting, getting phone numbers, making dates and building prospects. Never forget that until you are in a commited relationship, the game is still on.
When you start juggling prospects you soon realise you don’t need any of them. If one woman isn’t answering her phone, call another. If one flakes out on a date, make a date with another. If one turns cold or starts playing mind games, focus on someone else for a while. The odds are good that she’ll come crawling back sooner or later. What’s more, you will find yourself caring less about saying the “wrong” thing and will feel more confident speaking your mind and being yourself. Afterall, if you scare her away you just move onto the next prospect. Every time you talk, flirt, date or even fail with one of these women you gain valuable first hand experience, allowing you to hone your conversation and seduction skills. You will also find rejection becomes easier to deal with, so approaching women will start to feel less daunting. You’ll soon find that you’re the one in control and that your value keeps rising.
Nice guys don’t believe in playing the field. They consider it “immoral” and dishonest and worry about hurting a girl’s feelings. But we all know what happens to nice guys don’t we?
If this seems wrong to you then it’s time to wake up and stop being so naïve. Women have guys hitting on them, texting, calling and asking them out all the time. Do you really think you’re the only guy she talks to? Do you honestly think that she stops finding other guys attractive just because you’ve been on a date or two? You better believe that she’s keeping her options open and if you don’t measure up she’ll be kicking you aside and moving onto the next.
Is it wrong then for us to do the same thing?
Winning back her heart
A lot of guys (myself included) come to forums like this seeking help with one girl in particular - a girl who is not like the others, who is really special and who was really interested, but has since gone cold for some reason they can’t understand…or so the story goes. They want someone to reassure them that it’s not a lost cause, to tell them a magical phrase or technique to win her attention back. They usually get their answer and it’s always the same: “Start seeing other women”.
These guys don’t like this answer, however, and are convinced there is another way. What they fail to consider is that most of us have been in that same predicament at some point and our advice comes from experience. Not only will seeing other women help you to move on and break your infatuation, it is your best shot at winning back the interest of a lost love.
Invisible Attraction
There is another, somewhat mysterious effect of juggling prospects that makes you even more alluring to women. Have you ever noticed how you get more female attention when you are in a relationship or you’re unavailable? Well, the same thing happens when you have multiple prospects.
It’s as if women can sense when a man doesn’t need them and, for some reason, that makes him irresistable. Maybe it’s a confidence thing, reflected in our body language, such as standing taller, smiling more, or maybe it’s some subliminal vibe we give off. It makes little sense, but remember, women are not motivated by logical thought processes.
Playing the field has a snowball effect. As you gain momentum, the prospects will just keep building and building, as will your confidence and your ability to handle women.
How to build your prospects
It really doesn’t matter if you get a girl’s number from a cold approach, a friend of a friend or whether you’re just exchanging emails over Facebook or Myspace. As long as you are talking and flirting with women, you are in the game and you have prospects to work with.
Not all of them will end up wanting to date or have sex with you, you will certainly come across rejections along the way, but that’s one of the benefits of expanding your options.
At no point should you stop and think that you have enough prospects. You don’t have to see every one of them or even call every one of them on a regular basis, but if you take their details, you can keep them on the backburner for a rainy day. And you never know, that next girl might end up proving herself to be the best of the bunch.
Unfortunately for us men, this is hard to understand. We see things in more logical terms: you like someone or you don’t. Black or white. Even more unfortunate is that decent guys get hurt by the indecisiveness of women. When a woman turns cold, many of us look for a logical cause and end up making the situation worse for ourselves by treating it as a problem that needs to be fixed…because that is our nature.
You must stop expecting women to behave rationally or “fairly” and just prepare for the day they stop returning your calls. The best way to do this, in my experience, is to keep your options open.
Take a look at all the successful players and seducers. Do you think they pin all their hopes on one woman and sit at home waiting for her to call? Of course not. Even if there is one special lady they are pursuing, they always have a contingency plan. That is the key to their success.
The Player Mentality
Just like we do, a woman will get confused when a guy is attentive one minute and distant the next. She will feel on edge when a guy forgets to call, takes his time replying to her texts or when he’s too busy to see her. She will get frustrated when he ignores her games and walks away from her tantrums. A beautiful woman will find it perplexing if a guy can be cool and carefree around her while other guys put her on a pedestal and kiss her a$$. Women find such men unpredictable, mysterious and challenging, and these are the building blocks of attraction.
Of course, you can try to fake this behaviour, hold back your desperation, pretend to be cool and act indifferent, but such a façade is based on rehearsed lines and tricks, and most people can see right through it. It is much better if it happens naturally.
One way to develop this behaviour in an authentic way is to adopt the player mentality. Keep talking to women, flirting, getting phone numbers, making dates and building prospects. Never forget that until you are in a commited relationship, the game is still on.
When you start juggling prospects you soon realise you don’t need any of them. If one woman isn’t answering her phone, call another. If one flakes out on a date, make a date with another. If one turns cold or starts playing mind games, focus on someone else for a while. The odds are good that she’ll come crawling back sooner or later. What’s more, you will find yourself caring less about saying the “wrong” thing and will feel more confident speaking your mind and being yourself. Afterall, if you scare her away you just move onto the next prospect. Every time you talk, flirt, date or even fail with one of these women you gain valuable first hand experience, allowing you to hone your conversation and seduction skills. You will also find rejection becomes easier to deal with, so approaching women will start to feel less daunting. You’ll soon find that you’re the one in control and that your value keeps rising.
Nice guys don’t believe in playing the field. They consider it “immoral” and dishonest and worry about hurting a girl’s feelings. But we all know what happens to nice guys don’t we?
If this seems wrong to you then it’s time to wake up and stop being so naïve. Women have guys hitting on them, texting, calling and asking them out all the time. Do you really think you’re the only guy she talks to? Do you honestly think that she stops finding other guys attractive just because you’ve been on a date or two? You better believe that she’s keeping her options open and if you don’t measure up she’ll be kicking you aside and moving onto the next.
Is it wrong then for us to do the same thing?
Winning back her heart
A lot of guys (myself included) come to forums like this seeking help with one girl in particular - a girl who is not like the others, who is really special and who was really interested, but has since gone cold for some reason they can’t understand…or so the story goes. They want someone to reassure them that it’s not a lost cause, to tell them a magical phrase or technique to win her attention back. They usually get their answer and it’s always the same: “Start seeing other women”.
These guys don’t like this answer, however, and are convinced there is another way. What they fail to consider is that most of us have been in that same predicament at some point and our advice comes from experience. Not only will seeing other women help you to move on and break your infatuation, it is your best shot at winning back the interest of a lost love.
Invisible Attraction
There is another, somewhat mysterious effect of juggling prospects that makes you even more alluring to women. Have you ever noticed how you get more female attention when you are in a relationship or you’re unavailable? Well, the same thing happens when you have multiple prospects.
It’s as if women can sense when a man doesn’t need them and, for some reason, that makes him irresistable. Maybe it’s a confidence thing, reflected in our body language, such as standing taller, smiling more, or maybe it’s some subliminal vibe we give off. It makes little sense, but remember, women are not motivated by logical thought processes.
Playing the field has a snowball effect. As you gain momentum, the prospects will just keep building and building, as will your confidence and your ability to handle women.
How to build your prospects
It really doesn’t matter if you get a girl’s number from a cold approach, a friend of a friend or whether you’re just exchanging emails over Facebook or Myspace. As long as you are talking and flirting with women, you are in the game and you have prospects to work with.
Not all of them will end up wanting to date or have sex with you, you will certainly come across rejections along the way, but that’s one of the benefits of expanding your options.
At no point should you stop and think that you have enough prospects. You don’t have to see every one of them or even call every one of them on a regular basis, but if you take their details, you can keep them on the backburner for a rainy day. And you never know, that next girl might end up proving herself to be the best of the bunch.
